fran and jack came yesterday (those are my parents, i never call them such except behind their back) I picked up sammies from Joan's on 3rd and some veggies and we enjoyed a nice lunch and then went on a hike to runyon canyon. It was SLOOOOW GOING! i am usually done with the hike in like 30 mins and this took us a little over an hour.

it's weird to realize your parents are old.

anyway, then we had dinner at a vietnemese restaurant in my neighborhood and took a walk around robertson, that was fun and then headed back to my place where they both fell asleep on my couch. they're staying in my room so i kicked them off the couch so i coudl go to sleep at 11PM, i never go to sleep that early.

got up eeearrrrllly this a.m. and my mom and i went to the grocery to get cows milk (i only have soy) and some cereal more to their liking (who doesn't like honey nut cheerios?) and then hit up the coffee bean for some scones and coffee and headed back to eat b'fast (i hate people who stay with me who like to eat all the time, jeez! what's wrong with a little thing of yogurt for dinner?)

and now i'm working at the guild and heading with them to catalina tomorrow. my dad booked a 830am boat, which means because they'll want to eat b'fast before we leave, we'll have to get up around 6am (oh did i mention they're neurotic about leaving for things HOURS before you need to?!?!?!)

donations

I have brought over the past 5 months, approximately 9 bags of stuff to be donated to good will. If you have come to my apartment, you can't help but notice it's empty. When the door was found open the other day the girl said she couldn't tell if I had anything stolen because i didn't have anything to begin with.

i decided when I dropped off another load this morning (of stuff i didn't want when I unpacked but couldn't take to the drop off place until i was allowed to pick up stuff) and on my way i thought I hope whatever thing that has been giving me bad luck was in that bag that I just got rid of. I think I might just get rid of everythign I own and start anew and then whatever thing I have that's causing me all this stress and bad luck will be gone.... unless a spell has been put on me then... well then i'm not sure what i'm going to do. That would make me sad as i always fancied myself a friend of those in the witch and wizard world... I MEAN I LOVE HARRY POTTER!!

My parents are on their way to visit me. It's only their 2nd time in 11 years, i think the talk of me not believing in God back in May had something to do with it. Don't worry, my children, I am back on the God train. ALL ABOARD!!


The security guard just talked to me again this morning, and this is the line he opened up with "So, the news is crazy."

uh, ok. and he went on to explain what he meant. something about TV news. GRRRR

HAPPY 1 MONTH ANNIVERSARY

TO MY APPENDIX FREE BODY.

dont worry i wont be celebrating it every month, i just realized today was the 7th and decided to mention it.

anyway, i think i have become more ornery since my appendix was removed, i wonder if my appendix made me nice and now without it, i'm an angry bitch.

it's weird that people at the Writers guild all know my name and i know nobodys name. Like one woman today saw me pick up variety and then called my name and was like I ripped something out of there. And I was like " you know my name? how is that possible? I have never ever heard ur name before." naturally i didn't say anything like that

but the security guards all know my name and all the other people here know my name and the reason I know a few peoples names is because i sign in and see who is there and if tere are only like 3 people through deductive reasoning I figure out their names but other than that, no idea who they are... see i'm a bitch. i guess my appendix was the nicest part of me after all.

and another thing

so i was at my friends house tonight just aksing his advice and lamenting about my current job sitch and bad day and he said "at least your not so and so, she has it really bad!"

why do people do that? when i was growing up, i was sick a lot and i'd be like "i have a sore throat" and my mom would always say "so do I." and then another time I'd be like "i have the flu" and she'd be like "so do I" WHAT? NO U DONT!!??

why do people have to always tell u they've or soemone they know has it worse. why aren't we allowed to be disatisfied with our lives. or frustrated or exhausted? who wants to hear about someone elses problems when they're having a crap day?

yes, i've been to Africa, i've been to guatamala I've seen poverty and struggle and yes I realize i have it preeeetttty nice compared to them, but still can't i please be annoyed at my life when shit happens? fuck!

TOP 5 BAD LUCK I HAD TODAY

1. my gym membership that I had been getting for free for the past year was discovered and now i'm not getting it for free. so now i have to join another gym. the gymi want to join that is super cheap and good and i have a few friends who go there is on beverly, but there are other people who go there who i dont want to see... what to do, i mean the price is right... well it's not free but it's pretty close.

2. my friend was right about my blind script deal, it's a total fucking bullshit hoax, thanks to my agents who didn't inform me of that. so i guess i just need to sell this pilot.

3. my MTV deal is a fucking joke and my agents dont think i should take it.

4. someone came into my apartment today and then proceeded to leave the door wide open ALL DAY! yeah, my neighbor was like "your door was open all day." I have no idea who came in seeing as no one was authorized to do so. and nothing was taken sooooo it's weird. but still the door was open all day. this happened to my neighbor yesterday so when she saw my door open today she called the cops and they hung out tonight in my apartment. I live 1 block from bev hills in a safe neighborhood so it's weird.

5. i got invited to a party for my very good friends new baby and he writes on a show with my old writing partner and she is getting invited to the party too and i think it's going to be awkward to see her for the first time in 5 years at this party.

pfffttt. i need to go to bed before anything else happens today.

annoyed

well i am annoyed today and for so many reasons:

1. the boy never called, so i'm utterly confused about why he called and asked me out only to unask me out and then neve3r contact me again. why call me in the first place?

2. I'm annoyed at peopple who say things like "you still get tired from your surgery?" yeah, IT'S CALLED A RECOVERY FOR A REASON. like i'm making it up that i get wiped out easily... i sent an email to my friend a week and a half ago (only 2.5 weeks after the surgery) saying i might not be able to go to her cabin for the weekend cause i was so tired and she coudn't believe that after 2.5 weeks i'd still be tired... um, okay, i had a fucking pussy infected appendix in my body you dumb ass. thankfully she's pregnant so 2.5 weeks after her giving birth i'm going to say "huh, i ddin't think you'd still be so tired from giving birth." i'm a bitch. and then someone else said "well it's not like it was a major surgery.." yeah, it wasn't open heart surgery agreeed, but I guess every surgery is minor surgery EXCEPT WHEN IT HAPPENS TO YOU. it's not like i had a fucking mole removed.

3. i got a deal with a studio back in march and haven't gotten paid yet. this wouldn't be a big deal except this weekend my friend said "oh my agent said that if you dont' sell a pilot they dont have to pay you under your deal." so now im freaking out cause i'm fucked if i dont get paid.

4. i'm annoyed at having to be annoyed at all these people.

where is the love?

no idea what i said to this boy to make him break out date and never call me again. literally our conversation lasted maaaaaaayyybbbeee 15 mins and apparentlly i said something that he must have thought about over the next 2 hours that cuased him to call and cancel the date, claiming illness (do not use that when you're not sick, being a constanly infirmed person I am offended) and then saying he'd call the next day to reschedule and never calling. why even pretend, why do the whole song and dance of "hey when are you avail this week?, WHY EVEN CALL ME IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE?! next time dont tell your friend that sure you'll go out with me!!

what the fuck is wrong with men???!! why do they do all this? someone please answer me that

BOY UPDATE: I JUST CHECKED HIS MYSPACE PAGE (OH YEAH I DID) AND HE SIGNED IN TODAY WHICH MEANS HE'S NOT DEAD, WHICH IF HE WERE I'D FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT ME GOING OFF ON HIS INSENSITIVE BEHAVIOR, BUT NOW IT'S JUSTIFIED AND I WISH I COULD DO MORE.

I just filled out an application for the "low income discount rate" for my electricity bill in LA. yes, i totally qualify seeing as I've made very very little money this year which is strange considering I signed a contract with a major studio in march and have yet to see a dime. I told my agent last week that he needed to get me paid a certain amount so i can earn enought to be elligible for health insurance in 2008. he said he was on it. Really it's not asking to much to get 1/3 of my contracted earnings in a 6 month period is it??

I next plan to file for food stamps, unfortuantely, they dont work at jenny craig which i'm starting up again on wednesday. sure i lost a ton of weight after my surgery but now i want to keep it off!!

so the boy who i wanted to ask me out called today and asked me out. and we talked for a litle while as i was driving to a hike (not really supposed to be working out yet, buuuuut this was walking and my surgeon said i could walk and he didn't say i couldn't walk uphill) anyway, he called and asked me out for tonight and i said yes and then he said he'd come get me and we'd go to a restaurant near me, and he does in fact live downtown (see previous post) soooo that's a big commitment to come up here. so i went on my hike and was excited and nervous and didn't really think about what i shoudl wear since i can only wear skirts still. so my options are limited.

so, on my drive back from hiking he called and bailed! FUCK!

he said he got sick suddenly. uh, yeah, sure. He was all nervous I didn't believe him and he said he called his best girl friend and left a message on her VM asking if she'd believe a guy if he called and un asked her out 2 hours after asking her out. I was like it's ok, and he asked me what he thought of his message bailing, and i didn't know waht else to say other than "i was like I hope he feels better" i mean if he is sick, i'm a bitch for being like Never call me again and then if he isn't then yes, i look gullible.

he said he'd resched. for monday or tues. i said "sure." we shall see if he calls.

so instead i went to the movies with bernadette to this piece ofshit stupid ass movie called sunshine. DO NOT SEE IT, IT'S STUPID AND MAKES NO SENSE.

SO I'm supposed to be allegedly going out with a cute boy. we emailed like 2 emails last week (i met him on a show meeting a few months ago) did i already talk about him?

anyway, i just found him on myspace and hes put a lot of work into his myspace. oh and he's 29. i'm 33. maybe he found me on myspace and didn't like what he saw... and htat's why i haven't heard from him in a few days, he dropped off the planet.

anyway, i do judge a little from your myspace. anyone in your late 20 early 30s myspacing like mad seems to me to be a little.... mad. in the head that is. is that judgemental of me? why do we myspae in the first place, JUST SEND ME A FUCKING EMAIL.

instead you send me a message on mysapce, then myspace sends me an email saying hey you got a message on myspace, so then i have3 to go sign into myspace (after having already signing into my email) then get your message. seems like there's an extra step in there.

back to the original story. so he's all myspaced out with videos and pics of his dogs who he loves (i hate dogs since Jen malone's bit me in the face 7 years ago) and i think he might live downtown. for anyone who does not live in LA, downtown is not like NYC. it's gross and dirty and we have more homeless people who are mentally ill and on drugs (also see sicko) than any other city: i don't go down town.

my friends in la have said in the past "i dont get it, you'll go to fucking africa and travel all over the world but you are scared of downtown LA." the answer is simple: yes!

i will update you on whether or not he has the balls to email me since i sent him a funny email and clearly intimidated him 5 days ago.

what ho!

today was good, intense, hard, scary, fun., full of self doubt, tiring... how all in one day, welcome to hollywood. this morning i woke up early after having gone to bed late b/c i was practicing my pitch and writing and then nervous so not sleeping well. i semi pitched a movie based on a book to a movie producer at the 4 seasons... hello it's walking distnace from my new love pad, 2 blocks, 3 min. walk... felt v. new york.

ok so i went and din't really know what i was doing seeing as I had never pitched a movie before. I mean i can pitch a tv show or at least know how its supposed to be pitched comfortably, but this... an entirely diff. being. so i showed up with all the questoins she had asked me (i had the answers) and i knew i did ok, but i left and she had another meeting there (again, welcome to hollywood, i naeively thought i'd be the only one pitching... HA!) i ran into another snarky tv comedy writer on my way out, her way in and she said she had a meeting.. hmmmm. anyway movie producer called me this afternoon and was like "oh we ended the meeting and i forgot to tell you the next step" which i guess means I got it... now dont think that i got anything, i just made it to stage 2, the 2nd week of the audition as in every reality show.

so now i have to work my ass off and come up with a pitch... you do all this work weeks and weeks and may not have anything to show for it (read: MONEY) but you still need to do it. suck. cause i could use this time to write something else, but you have to take the chance and you know what, i think i can do this, i mean i have no idea really how to structure a movie, but i have friends who do.

so i walked home from the 4 seasons and sat on my couch and then went to target and bought the following: a microwave, a lamp, a lampshade (v. grown up looking), cleaning supplies, a mop that i just used and realized is broken.. grrr, sponges, a garbage can for my kitchen, bucket, etc. i spent $200 so the massage that i was thinking of getting was out of the question.

oh i finsihed harry potter last night... SO FUCKING GOOD!!

apartment living

what's fun about living in an apartment surrounded by more apartment buildings: hearing people have sex. that's what i'm doing right now. I wish I could figure out where it's coming from, i suspect it's the same people who were at it 2 nights ago around this same time. i'mnot sure if it's my building but it certainly sounds like it. it's not the people upstairs as i can hear them walk around as i type... am i thinking way too much about this?! i fear that to be the case.

oh wait, i think i can confirm it's coming from upstairs. geez, now what happens when i meet these people.

oh and i have 3 dates that i know of coming up! unfortunatly i can't do one a day 4 days in a row b/c i get so wiped out easily from this stupid surgery. grrrr. oh and i realized that i have yet to get the bill from my surgeon and anathesiologist, which will run about anohter 11 grand. sweet!

freaking out

so i am freaking out cause i'm convinced everyone at the agency that represents me hates me (the fight i had yesterday) b/c i've emailed 2 of the agents today re: business questions and neither one has responded...

i wonder when they started not to like me anymore.. strange seeing as I have 2 deals and i'm making money for them (allegedly if i were to get paid)... imagine how much they treat people who dont make money for them

phases

every couple of months i g o thorugh a phase where everyone pisses me off and there's a ton of miscommunicatoin and every one is mad at me. Right now I'm mad at 2 people who shall remain namelss, they dont troll the board but they are mid profile people in this town...

one is a person giving me notes on one of my projects. We will call this person Terry. I am tery's dream writer, i never ask questoins, i always hit it out of the park, but yesterday I asked terry one questoin about a note and terry fucking gave me so much fucking attitude I felt like I was a mom dealing with an eye rolling, gum snapping 12 year old girl who i just told couldn't go out with a boy to the movies. THAT MUCH ATTITUDE.

then i just told off someone... can't really elaborate but i have had a b'fast schedule d with someone and it's been resched no less than 5 times and one time I had to do it CAUSE I JUST HAD SURGERY!! so i went off on this person's asst. and might have derailed my career in the process... oops, but it is deserved. i swear.

fox TCA

last night i went to the FOX televisioin critics party. It was awesome. it was at the santa monica pier and my friend and I went on the rollercoaster and played games. I saw the entire cast of house, most of the cast from bones, the cast of the brad garrett sitcom. Keifer sutehrland was mobbed and pinned in the corner by a bunch of tv critics. the event is bascially for FOX to kiss the asses of the tv critics so they'll favorably review their shows. all the networks do it, but i just wanted to go to the fox one to see my tv boyfriend.

i ate carnival food (cotton candy, etc) and won a basketball!! my friend beat me at this other game and won a krusty the clown stuffed animal. but i'm glad i won the b-bal cause i sorta needed one. I wore a v. cute dress and heels (wedge heels)

STAR SIGHTINGS

yesterday at the coffee bean in bev hills, I saw renee zwellegger. She is super super skinny, like ridiculous. and she talks like a baby. HELLO YOU'RE A GROWN WOMAN. what also annoyed me was how the employees there were like "do you want a carrier for your drinks" do you need this do you need that? anything esle, anything to eat? SERVICE I DO NOT GET FYI!!

then this morning at the coffee bean near my house I saw Kristin Chenoweth from the west wing and from Wicked, cause i loved her in wicked. Anyway, she too is skin and bones!! And she's so tiny that I looked like a monster standing next to her.

WHO WANTS TO GUESS HOW MUCH AN APPENDECTOMY COSTS!!!!

ACCORDING TO MY CEDARS SINAI ONLINE STATEMENT (I WAS ON FOR MY COLONOSCOPY BILL) AND THEY HAVE MY SURGERY LISTED

SO FAR THE TOTAL IS.... $70,000 FOR MY 2 NIGHT/3 DAY HOSPTIAL STAY AND SURGERY

oh and to make it more interesting I gave my insurance card in the ER, i gave my insurance card to the hospital (after being admitted) and guess what, the cedars billing dept. say I'm a self paying person with no insurance. ahh. so the adventure begins with insrance. glad i had my insurance card on me, lot of good it did me!

so like i said when i was in the hospital pieces of my lung collapsed. I just read an article in a very sophisticated magazine People, about a girl who invented a device that helps kids in hosptials after surgeries strenghthen their lung by shooting marhsmallows. Now that I know how scary it can be to lose lung capacity (and i will know more when I'm allowed to run again in a few weeks) I wanted to post the site if anyone wanted to make a donation.

www.kelseyskids.org

sounds like a great organization.

my meeting went very well yesterday, i think i got the job, now i'm nervous that i can't do the job! we shall see...

the person in question was very well put together, very nice, pitched a few things. all in all it was fun.

last night i went to a party for the season 2 premiere of who wants to be a superhero. due to my health i could ony stay for like an hour, but enough time to say hello to the people who invited me and introduce my friend who is a huge comic book guy to the all time comic book guy in the history of comic books who I know because of this project.