VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED

Yesterday was quite the day, I had a camera shoved up my ass and then coincidently i had another drs. appt yesterday and so at the gyno I had a few fingers shoved up my vajay jay.

do i really need to go into more details? I thought not.

I'm 32 and have had a camera in me on more than 3 occassions due to insane intestinal crisis i have had over the years. Now I need to get another colonscopy to remove and biopsy some growth. Yeah, I'm fucking gross!

On a better note my gyno gave me pills for my thyroid that will hopefully help me lose the weight that is not coming off through diet and excercise. Here's hoping I soon look like nicole richie!!

I have been working out insane! INSANE! went to bootcamp yesterday and the day before and then the day before that I was at crunch where I was rocking the treadmill next to drew barrymore.

but yesterday at boot camp, I was working out with rex lee who plays Ari's assistnat on entourage.

I might not be losing any weight even though I work out more than arnold schwarnegger, but I am geting to see a lot of the hollywood elite!!

celeb count this week: 5

celeb sighting

it's been a while since I've spotted a celeb, well, that's not true, I see Famke Janssen every day when I get my cofffee at my fave coffee shop, but I dont count her.

Last night on the treadmill next to me was ms. drew barrymore! so exciting, right? she was running and I was running and then my shoe had been tied too tight so I stopped and when I looked up, i'm like that's either drew barrymore or someone who's a really skinny look a like, that's right, she's totally skinny. You know how you can tell someone is super skinny by their arms, she had those anorexic actress arms, yes, i was jealous of them cause i want those arms!!!

anyway, i was running faster than her, FYI!! but yeah, she's tiny, but now i know her secret, hitting the treadmill! I'll be looking like her in no time.

how cute are my neice and nephew?

GO IRISH!!

saturday night my friend kristin wanted me to meet this guy who is a producer on dave matthews albums and for a number of other artists and she thinks i'd likey. so i meet up with her at this party around midnight in the hills at the home of some record producer. this house was crazy insane amazing, complete with floor to ceiling windows, a room with an awesome music set up, sweet piano, drums, bass, guitar both acousitc and electirc, really amazing food, etc. the people had just come from a mandy moore concert like a small one at some small cafe, she's trying to change her sound. whatever that means

anyway, remi and i had been at st. nicks with kyle and bernie waiting for the show to be over and the party to begin so we head up to this party and around 1:30 remi and i sit on the couch to rest our feet when all of a sudden the entire band comes over and starts up an impromtu jam session/,mandy moore concert and remi and i are in the front row totally by accident. I was honestly suprised at how great mandy's voice is. really surprised, i know your're reading this saying "say waht, she blows," but now she has this whole allanis morrisette thing going on without the angsty, dark hair in her face look.

anyway, we watched the concet and then someone else got up and sang and as we were leaving, Ben lee who is a famous rock star was about to get up, but the boy i was supposed to talk to was on the Bass the entire time and i didn't get a chance to speak to him, but he was cute, so that's a start. it was a serious rock star party! these people jam until like 5 am!!! i was in bed by then thank god, i'm such a baby!

I met the hottest guy at the coffee bean this morning, married, but cute and english and boxes!! so he told me to go with him to his boxing gym and take a lesson wiht his trainer to see if I like it, SERIOUSLY I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THIS GUY!!

i think i need to start taking ritalin to help me focus, all i do all day long is play on the internet. I search and search for stories that I can post on the TV blog I write for and then find myself on all sorts of weird celebrity blogs, etc. it's a strange life.

hours go by.

i ran into my friend paul yesterda at the coffee bean he was writing, we used to write together on a show and now he's a movie writer and in my friend circle. Then i headed over to remi and carrie's to watch greys anatomy, which i loved! i thought it was a great patrick dempsey ep, LOVE ME SOME PD!!

i haven't lvoe dhim for a long time, perhaps my love for Hugh laurie usurped that, but now PD is back in the race, what race you say? i have no idea.

got up at 430am AGAIN to go to bootcamp, then came home and slept for another 2.5 hours. I wonder if that just counter acts the metabolism rev up i do for an hour. I'm actually thinking of going every day at 5am!! maybe doing the bootcamp academy that lasts for a month, every day at 5am... hmm, must discuss with keisha.

either way next week i'm going to bootcamp three times cause I can only go one day the following week due to my trip to NY. i'm really enjoying bootcamp, either i'm in much better shape than i was 3 years ago when i used to do it, or barry is going soft.

a little irish joke for the day

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he
had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking
up
to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find
me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me
life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found
one."


yesterday i met with my agents, same old story., they need to find me a fucking job. point blank period.

peer pressure

i smoked a cigarette today, my first one since new years eve. I'm so mad at myself, but i was over at my agency and one of the agents wanted to gossip so she grabbed 2 cigs and we went out to smoKE i apparently have no will power. it wasn't even that good either! well, i did last basically 3 months! and I was going to have one june 1st, but now I guess I already had that one today!

did i mention that on sat. night berna and i watched the secret. I now know the secret and i am already applying it to my life, sure the movie is very hokey, but the message is a good one and one that I totally and completely believe. Sure it's hard to get past the image of a woman longingly looking at a fancy necklace in the window and then she's walking on the beach and the necklace appears around her neck, but if you can get past that kind of thing, then you'll really appreciate the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction.

place an order with the universe and watch the movie.

berna was embarrassed to admit to me that she bought the movie and I was like hello, i've been dying to watch it! so instead of going out and navigating the crowded bars on st. pattys day (meanwhile I had gone out to irish pubs both thurs and fri. night) we drank wine and watched the secret instead.

yesterday i had dinner at the schaffers, corned beef and cabbage, a traditional irish meal. I only at the carrots, potatoes and cabbage asi'm trying to be good on my diet!!!

i bought a ticket this weekend to go to ny for a few days for Easter. but only a few days to see my family, so dont get mad if you dont see me while i'm there. you know how my family is around holidays! HIGH MAINTENANCE

vicodin

yesterday i took a vicodin to help with stomach cramps. It was a nice way to spend the day very doctor house for my friends who love the show, i'm looking at you remi and carrie! I won't say how I procured said pills, let's just say i had them left over from a dental procedure...yeah, let's go with that story, I only actually took a half of one, niiiice. then i went through all my reciepts to do my tax organizing.

i did nothing else yesterday except fill my gas tank, eat badly and go to churhc. not the most exicting day.

today I woke up so confused about where i was or what day it was, i'm guessing the vic had something to do with it, right, cause that never happens to me, I woke up exhausted too and i remember having all these strange dreams, hey i'm starting to think taking vicodin might be bad for you!!

irish soda bread

i love irish soda bread. Oh my is it the yummiest thing ever. For those of you who didn't grow up in an insanely irish family surrounded by irish people all the time talking about ireland and then being sent to live in ireland for a year, you might not know the wonders of irish soda bread, run to your local whole foodds and get some today!

i just got an entire loaf, (i went to bootcamp at 5am so it's okay) and have been gnawing on it ever since. I'm not sure even bootcamp can burn this off! got up at 430am having gone to bed at 1230am and then went to bootcamp from 5-6am and then slept from 615am to 8am. then my friends amy and greg had me over for french toast, yum yum, what a treat after bootcamp. i think i might ttreat myself too much after these bootcamp sessions,...

went out to molly malones last night to listen to an irish band play (a bunch of americans pretending to be irish, hhmmpph,) and it was really fun.

stop reading my blog and go get yourself some irish soda bread.

katusya X 3

last night i went back to the new katsuya! Christie was in town again and she was much nicer to me. phew. ok, so my appearance on the village live rocked the hizzy and they've already asked me back. I loved it! I had so much fun and can't wait to go back again. ALso I've lost weight, not sure how much but in the past week around 3 pounds!!!

going to hear the wild hogs guy band tonight at molly malones, we shall see if he is flirty at 930 with me! (that's the time the band goes on)

shout out to amy who sent me flowers for my appearance (and new career as a talking head) i love them!!!!

got a ton of nike stuff from Christie including a pair of shoed to big for me, so i'm giving them to my friend jenny who is totally broke and last week told me she needs new running shoes but can't aford them! funny how life works out sometimes!!

i will give a full report on my talk show appearnace soon!

I just had my b'ffast, my hair is dry, I"m all packed (never actuallly unpacked seeing as I got here 12 hours ago), and I'm ready to head to the studio, my driver should be here within the hour!! I think I"m ready, I just dont want to go off message and lose track of what I want to say, i've done that before when pitching TV shows, and I look like a bluthing idiot. I think this experiecne is going to be really good for me! Unless I fall when I walk out and the footage ends up on the daily show or something horrible.

I just heard that there's dunkin donuts here in orlando!! we dont have them in LA. Maybe I"ll ask my driver to hit one on the way back to the airport. Cannot believe I'm going back to LA this evening already!

ORLANDO BABY

I'm in orlando for my big TV talk show debut tomorow morning. It's going to be hard I just flew in tonight and have to be up at like 8am which is 5 am LA time but with the hour jump ahead my body will think it's 4am, and everyone looks so super sexy at 4am, am I right? I had some dinner in my room, seeing as I know nobdy at this hotel (which is on the unversal studios property) and there are only families here. I leave tomorrow night at 7pm, not sure what I'm going to do between 1pm and 5pm when my car service takes me to the airport, perhaps hit the rides over at universal studios!!!

Preparing right now for what I"mgoing to say. Went shopping on sat. and got 2 great outfits for the producers to choose from, I'm really nervous, but I'm sure I'll do great, Ii'm just nervous I'll cuss or something.

I'm on tomorrow at noon, so watch me!!!

exicting news

hey everyone, I'm going to be on TV!! on monday at noon on NBC, i'll be on a show called Ivillage live talking about TV couples!! I'm flying to orlando sunday morn and i'll be back in LA monday night. sounds like a rough 24 hours, yet super exiciting. Kristin and I are going shopping tomorrow for a new outfit and right now I"m headed to get my eyebrows and mustache waxed! Yeah, i have a lot of facial hair, it's an irish thing, deal!

got up at 430am to go to bootcamp only to find out that keisha, my bootcamp co hort totally bailed! She was a no show, but i rocked the 5am class and was so happy to be done with my workout by 6am!! good days.

post #401

yesterday's post was my 400th!! how exciting!!

i sat in that jury assembly room all freakin day and didn't get put on a jury, which i'm thankful about, but what a waste of time. Out of the 80people there they only called 30 for one trial and picked 12. I was not one of the ones called so basically they brought in 50 people willing to be on a jury and then made them sit there for 8.5 hours. I took a few naps, played on the internet and read an entire book and ate a bag of wheat thins and maybe a few gold fish and some pirates bootie my one friend who I made had.

last night i went to barry's bootcamp with keisha, it's an insane workout, we're going to do 3Xs a week. We go again tomorrow morning AT 5 AM!!! that means I"ll have to get up GET UP at 430am. but keisha said just think about how good you'll look next month, true that. I'll go back to NY for Easter (supposedly, haven't booked a ticket) lookign slim!!! but 430am is pretty damn early for someone who don't got no job!! i told keisha i'm only going 2Xs a week to begin with, I dont want my body to be burned out and then resiliant to working out!! hopefully it will do okay, i dont feel sore at all this morning, so that's a good sign!!

watched Amerian idol too afterwords with Carrie and Chris. Carrie is my friend from high school who lives down the street from me.

jury duty

I'm currently at the LA superior court house serving jury duty. I"m so bored. this is the most inefficiently run office. HOly crap people are dumb and everything has to be said like 12 times and very slowly.

also i've never seen such an ugly collection of people. What i've also learned is that i dont like be around a large group of strangers, not like in a bar in beverly hills, but in a courthouse downtonwn.

this a.m. bernadette came over at 630am to take pictures of me for her final photography project for her phtotgraphy class. she is doing a series of photos of her friends getting up first thing in the morning and running through her morning routine.

fuck i hope I dont get on a jury, this is the most retarded experience. I've beensiting here for 3.5 hours and nothing has happened yet. NOTHING except a woman going through the paperwork we were supposed to fill out when we first receieved the summons. PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING STUPD! you should hear the questoins they ask, I'm like are you serious?

oh, guess what, we might be getting a break for 15 mins, a break from doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

went out to the new katsuya restaurant last night, FUCK IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD! with one of my best friends christy who is in town for work, we had a very nice time... can't really elaborate on that, things going down in her life, can't share since it's not my life.

but i ate a ton of sushi and she was very honest about her thoughts on how i dress, my hair, my purse (which i said "people always compliment me on it" to which she responded "they lied.")

like i said brutally honest. anyway, I told her I couldn't dress better because I dont feel good about myself and it was only confirmed when i got my hair cut this a.m. and had to sit in front of a mirror for 45 mins looking at myself, and i never never look in the mirror, it's so bad, but i was forced to and all i could think about was how monstrous I am (and clearly my friends agree if you think about christy's comments So i'm glad i'm doing a makeover because if anyone needs it, it's me!

real job

I dont think I would ever be cut out for a real job. I dont know how you people do it. I do however find myself every day at the writers guild lounge for members where I do my writing.

the lounge is in the same building as the writers guild and the people who work at the offices of the writers guild so often I find myself in the elevator with these people who have real jobs.

I cannot for the life of you tell you how many times I have heard the following conversation in the elevator.

SET THE STAGE: I'm in the elevator, I have hit parking level D, a few people come on and one hits parking level C and another level B. Then another person gets on and hits level A

Parking level C person: Oh, i guess we're taking the local. Making all stops.
everyone: laugh laugh laugh
In my head: SAY WHAT? THAT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY AND I'VE HEARD THAT SAME CONVO LIKE 7 TIMES!!

I am so committed to my weight watchesr it's scary. My friend Liz was bothering me about eating or drinking something and thi is what I said:

"I am really committed to losing weight, so I wont be eating or drinking tonight, I'll probably have a small meal before I meet you guys out and I would really appreciate your support during this time but if you can't give it to me, I understand, but I won't be able to hang out with you right now.

YEAH, HOW ANNOYING AM I?!?

wild hogs

last night i went to go see wild hogs with like 30 people with my friend who wrote it. It was a really fun time! We all yelled and cheered when his name came up on the screen, very cool. before he had all of us over his house for some awesome food and this guy came up to me and started talking to me, a friend of a friend who i'd met a few times before. Anyway, he marched right up to me and re-introduced himself saying "hey we met at blah blah." and i was all wathever, but then we sat next to each other at the theatre and chatted for a while before the movie started and i found myself flirting with him!

so then after the movie people were going back to my friends house for drinks all night, but I couldn't go cause my ride was heading home. SO i said goodbye to everyone and this morning I wake up to find an email from him!! Inviting me to hear his band play at an irish pub here in town! (we had talked about where his band played) BUT he said it was great to see me TWICE in the email!! and the email wasn't that long!

an update on this eharmony guy who has cancelled 2 dates, then called me on tues to re-schedule for this weekend, i called him back tues. night said this weekend sounds great and now it's sat. afternoon and i haven't heard from. THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT!

Paper V. Plastic

we all know what it's like to go to the grocery store and get asked Paper or plastic? Usually I just say either one is fine. But this year, thanks to oprah, it's my year and included in that I"m going to be more decisive (which will come in handy i assume at jury duty next week) so in keeping with that I have finally decided that It is now and forever shall be plastic. I will be saying "plastic," from now on and i dont care about the environmental repurcussions. It feels good to not let someone make choices for me! So yesterday, you can see was a big day for me at Whole Foods when I came to this decision


had dinner last night with Liz, Rachel, Kate and Keisha at Jones. It was so freaking good and I was soo good by only eating a salad (with no dressing since I hate dressing and always have) Yeah me!! I have recently come across a picture of Britney spears when she was super skinny and it's now imprinted in my head as what I want to achieve (I know she's also fucking crazy and perhaps I should not be tyring to emulate Britney, but nevertheless, I'm going to get her body!)

naturally I have said this before and failed, but this time I'm serious.

eyebrows

I think that last time I plucked my eyebrows (because I was too lazy to go get them waxed) i may have overdone it a little. so now I have to grow them in and get them professionaly waxed and shaped which sounds easy enough, right? Hardly.

I look like a monkey. I just plucked my left one too much and it starts way off to the left and so while I 'm waiting for the hair to grow back... they look terrible and all messy!!! UGH!

drinks in the valley

yesterday I spent the day at the writers guild. It was below my expectations on the amount of writing i got done, but this seems to be a pattern I'm getting into. Had drinks last night at this pub in the valley called Maeves residuals. I wasn't sure what to expet, it sounded like a shit hole, but was pleasantly surprised when I got there to see it's actually pretty nice. Met up with my friend alexis and we got drinks bought for us by men, which is so strange cause that never happens in hollywood, but in the valley, they think i'm cute!! must rememeber this.

my friend wrote the movie Wild Hogs that comes out tomorrow night, so i'm going to the movie with him and a huge group of people to see how the audience likes it. He has this insanely awesome house in the hills so he and his wife are going to have dinner for everyone there first!! so excited!! i love when my friends have a lot of success and let me get to be a part of it!!!!