TOP TEN THINGS I HATE AND/OR THAT PISS ME OFF

10. Garrey - you dont know him, but he works at the WGA and annoys the fuck out of me, just seeing his name on the writers lounge sign in sheet and i'm like, ugh fuck, i hate that guy. He's just creepy and annoying and therefore I hate him.

9. my life - yes, i hate my life. I'm miserable right now. Actually this very second i'm not miserable as I boxed this morning and that does wonders for my euphoria!!! but typically, i hate my life. I could stay in bed alllll day and no one would ever know. NO ONE is expecting me to be anywhere EVER!! I am fully aware that people who have jobs can't possibly even in the slightest comprehend hating not having anything to do during the day, but believe you me after 4 years of it (give or take a few months where I was on a show or writing pilots etc) you'd be going bat shit crazy yourself.

8. Candy Corn.... because I love it soooo much and I can't stop myself from eating those delicious candy corn pumpkins of goodness and so I hate it.

7. My wardrobe - my clothes either don't fit because they're not the right size (i can't seem to order clothes correctly as I keep ordering them too big) or they're falling apart b.c I'm too lazy to go buy new ones. I have so many other things I need to buy BEFORE clothes. which leads me to...

6. My car - how did this happen? How could I hate my car? where did this relationship go so wrong? In a city where you're in your car constantly, i've developed a love affair with my VW passat. I mean, I used to love love love this shiny silver happy car. Now ten years later, I hate it so much. 2 people hit and ran and destroyed it in July. One person backed up and smashed my hood so much I can't open it. Much like I could never love my child if it were ugly, now my car is ugly and I hate it.

5. Flossing - I do it, but I hate it, I just do. I feel like an animal, which we all technically are, whenever I floss. Like I'm a dog who's teeth I have to worry about... did i just call myself a dog? wow. that's not good.

4. my life - i know I already mentioned it, but i'm serious, i really hate it. and yes, I know that there are many wonderful aspects of my existance: amazing friends, a sick apartment in Bev Hills, 80 degree weather every day for the past 14 years, blah blah blah. I'M SO FUCKING BORED WITH MY LIFE AND EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO TO CHANGE THAT FAILS!! I am like Midas, but instead of turning to gold, everything I touch turns to shit! Yesterday I was in my therapists office and we were talking about my miserable existance. I said, despite all my efforts professionally nothing has changed, a year ago I was sitting in here and having the EXACT same conversation with you. That's when he said "actually, that's not true. Things have changed. They've gotten worse." THANKS! SO INSPIRING! (he's actually a kick ass therapist)

3. All these newly discovered planets - i'm not impressed, i mean i feel like this is soooo american, we're not just satisfied with the amount of planets we already had noooo we had to go out and get 32 more!!! which is hilar b/c like any american kid is going to rememeber the names of 32 MORE planets. I'm sure the avg. american can't even name the 8 we got (used to be 9 but pluto can suck it)

2. People on Facebook who try to prove to everyone else that they're life is awesome - I never tried to do that because I'd be lying, and the reality is they are lying too. If i see someone on FB talking about how great their life is, i know they're more miserable than I am if that's humanly possible and they're trying to prove to everyone they have a good life even though they dont. I want to be like "Hello, you live in the south, there's no way you love your life!! Nothing good comes from the South.... wait, where was candy corn invented? Ok if candy corn was invented in the south, than maybe ONE thing good can come from there. There was an article on the huffington post recently talking about how unhappy women are despite the great strides they've made in the past 40 years. So don't be trying to make be believe that you're the exception to the rule.

And the number one thing I hate....
1. Valet Parking - it's a necessary evil in LA, even at b'fast places, dentist offices, basically everywhere. And it just reinforces how much I hate my car when my passat is in line with a porsche, bentley and rolls royce and I apolig to the guy who gets stuck driving my car as it's often on an empty tank b/c i'm too lazy to fill it. I"m just waiting for the day a valet guy gets stranded b/c my car runs out of gas...


I'm not a Debbie Downer, tomor I will list my top 10 things i love!!!