cute jeans, slutty top?

I didn't do much yesterday, just worked (i'm a writer) then worked out (i'm a neurotic wanna lose weight-er) and talked on the phone for 45 mins with a guy I met on the internet personals. The onion website to be exact. He seems really nice and totally smart and funny. WE;re going out to a tapas and wine bar tomorrow night and i'm looking forward to it. I have had my fair share of bad dates, disastorous men, etc and Lord knows I need someting to renew my faith in humanity, and this world in general. I'm not going to become one of those bitter old women who is always lamenting about not meeting the right guy, i mean, i'm totally picky, so it's partially my fault... ok, maybe i will be the bitter lady, but give me a few years and a few more failed relationships and we'll re-evaluate where we are! not sure what to wear with this guy, kevin. should I go skirt, slutty top or jeans slutty top. girls think we look so cute in cute jeans and slutty top, but i have to be honest, I've gotten more feedback from cute skirt slutty top! oh, to be young and single.

sunday morning

today i had breakfast with my cousins who were visiting from out of town to drop their daughter off at college. I met this young lady when she was 10 months old, so to see her at 18 with a dorm room and checking out college guys, it was a bit alarming. where has the time gone? that old cliche. anyway, it's a christian college and if I knew how many hot guys were going to Chrisitian colleges when I was picking schools, my fate my have been a little different. Hallejuah, Amen! yes, i was checking out 18 yr, old Christian ass. Hey, i'm a woman. Then I watched the six feet under finale and was totally blown away. I wish I was even remotely as talented a writer as the writers on that show, or as talented an actess as Francis Conroy or talented in any arena for that matter!!!

fred segal

went to fred segal cafe for lunch today, seriously amazing food! why haven't I thought about eating there before? I can't believe no one has shared this great little lunch place with me, i feel betrayed by my city and it's inhabitants. anyway, if you go, try to the veggie and chicken combo, it will blow your mind. then i got my nails done. due to my neverending african parasite I had an attack of intestinal distress and decided to throw myself yet another pity party, take a vicodin and down a few glasses of wine...

daddy daycare

Had a second date with daddy day care, the totally hot guy i met at the oakland airport, who talked to me for 3 hours who i was TOTALLY psyched to go out with, only to find out he had an 11yr old who lives with him. Here's the deal, i'm so immature I cannot be a mommy to an 11 yr old! I can barely start my own car in the morning!! anyway, the 2nd date didn't go as well as the first, for some insane reason, he's agains rent control which make me against him!! But saw 40 yr old virgin which i thought was v. funny!

The Pub

had dinner at my friends house last night, they have a baby girl who is so freaking cute and has gotten so big. she's 5 months old, man i love babies! anyway, i have a second date tonight with a guy who i met at oakland airport. he is so cute and i was so excited for the 1st date until 2/3 way through he told me he had an 11 year old. PERSON. not like an 11 year old car or something i could get behind. anyway, he's 29 years old and he has a daughter who lives with him. i'm still turning that one over in my head if i really want to take this any further. I mean, i'm totally immature, i can't be around an 11 yrd old. Unless of course she has a subscription to Teen People! then i could like her. anyway, some people think it's no big deal. that i'm 30 and most likely i'm going to be meeting men with kids or divorced or with baggage. . we all have baggage, but yikes!! i'll let you know how it goes.

colonoscopy

I had a colonoscopy yesterday. it was totally fine, the procedure itself, but damn, the prep was brutal. you couldn't eat for an etire day, nothing at all, then you had to drink this laxative stuff and you shit your brains out, like nothing i've experienced my entire life!!!! wow, all night with that thing. anyway, turns out i have some f-ed up valve in my bowel. like i need another reason for men to be turned off of me

WHAT'S WRONG WITH WOMEN

riddle me this.... is it wrong to cancel a second date that you have kinda been looking foward to because you feel fat? I literally did this today, i feel fat, and was lying in bed thinking, i can't go on this date, especially after drinking this weekend, etc. So i asked the guy to resched. for tomorrow night. I'll let you know how it turns out.

the ex

I hate my ex. we were long distance, then he OBVIOUSLY started seeing someone where he lives, so he ignored me for a while because he didn't have the balls to tell me, then he dumped me, then we get back together for like a second, have a great time and then he comes to my birthday party and totally ignores me, like he's never met me before!!!! Literally, i was like what is his deal?!?! So then when he leaves, tells me he wants to hang out before I go back home, i don't call him because he ignored me at my birthday party. Then a month later, he sends me an email, that is so manufactured and gives this fake reason why he needs to talk to me, i fall for it reply back and never hear from him. Now all my friends are like "that was such a fake reason why he emailed you. He just wanted to know how much trouble he was in so he reaced out to you, and then as soon as you emailed him back, he knew he was ok and now doesn't care." well, if that's it, i hate being so fucking nice to people. The reason why i replied to him was because I thought I was helping his friend out for information on a country i travelled in. he said he was trying to help his friend out by getting info from me. what a lying sack of loser shit! I FUCKING HATE HIM!!!

the big announcement

So i've decided not to tell my friends anything about my dating life and will be strictly reporting on it in my blog. Why you ask? well, let me tell you a thing or two about women, they like to stick their nose in things they shouldn't. They are also very annoying. and i'm a woman, so i think i'm allowed to say this. when i tell my friends i have a date, i get innudated with so many questions about what I'm wearing, who he is, his profile name so they can look at him, where we're going, etc. I mean the list literallyl goes on and on, then the next day i'm bombarded with emails wanting to know how it went. then that's followed up by the daily questions about whether mr. X has called or emailed and then i feel terrible having to say no if i really liked the guy. anyway, this has led me to be able to tell only one person just to get the story off my chest, it's going to be you the public. and no one is probably reading this thing anyway, so that's even more of an incentive!

now all i have to do is get a date...

is this thing for real

nothing much has been going on the past few, i had another bad date, well not bad per se, but not promising, not sure those things go hand in hand. Anyway, tonight I have to go to NY for a friend's wedding. I'm wearing my roomates dress which is a little tight so instead of sitting on my ass here and typing this out, i should be at the gym, trying to make this thing look more flattering. oh well, anyway, I'm taking the red eye and plan to drug myself up with ambien to make sure I fall asleep instead of being kept awake by the overweight person next to me who hogs all the room, particularly the arm rest. Did you know that they have seat belt extendors?? Now, like I said I'm no slim jim but If i'm asking the flight attendant for a seat belt exetendor, i'd like to think i'd take a good hard look at my life and think maybe it's time to dial back on the doritos if you knwo what i'm saying.

dentist

I went to the densist this morning. I had to get a crown placed on my tooth. now I dont' know if you're familiar with a crown, but it's this tooth colroed thing they put on your toothe after a root canal. the tooth is dead and basically all but gone, so they take an impression of your tooth, send it off to some laboratory and charge you $1200 for it. Now yes, insurance pays for 1/2 of it, but still $600 is a fucking lot of money. anyway, so after a month of waiting for it to be made, i summon up the courage to go to the dentist to get it cememnted onto what's left of my back molar. dr. vander picks up the crown with a pair of tweezers, sticks it in my mouth and immediately proceeds to drop it down my throat! MY THROAT, DOWN IT GOES!!! I freaked out, started choking and somehow coughed and coughed because I was not letting this $1200 little thing go down my throat. I finally coughed so hard, I expelled the tooth, it came flying out of my mouth, flew across the room and hit the wall and landed on the floor. now i'm a germaphobe, but after all that I let the guy put the tooth in my mouth. I feel like i should've gotten a discount of some sort. don't you agree?

anyway, no news on my dating life this weekend. instead i went snowboarding with a bunch of friends in mammoth california. we got a condo and had a blast. the weather was perfect, the snow was amazing and even though I had to sleep in the bunk room with the rest of the single folk, it was worth it!!

first date

okay so i went out with this guy, we'll call him James, total first date, met him on the internet. Anyway, he shows up and he's totally cute, great, finally, super cute dude. Then he opens his mouth. all of a sudden Isaac mizrahi voice comes out. yes, he has a major effeminate lilt. Which is fine, so some men have a high voice, that's just fine with me, but when he told me how much he loved musicals and then went into vivid detail about how joey and dawson should have been together at the end of Dawson's creek. And i'm not talking just ssaying that, but going through season by season including season two where Joey was always working on dawson's projects and didn't have her own identity, so he can understand why they would break up then, but once she came into her own, he thought they should've gotten back together. So my only assumption is this guy is gay, is that wrong? even if he isn't, it's weird how a guy can be so cute, so smart (ivy league education) and me not be attracted to him, HOW IS THAT HUMANLY POSSIBLE?

First Day of School

Hey everyone, this is my first blog. I'm very excited! It's also my first full day as a 30 year old! Not necessarily a happy day seeing as i'm still single. However, I have a great job, so i guess that piece of the puzzle is temporarily in place.

married people keep re-assuring me that being married is not all that it's cracked up to be and being single is where it's at. i tend to believe them, although as the ol' saying goes the grass is always greener... I'm perfectly happy with the way my life is going, if i could only get the dating thing down and for one split second truly get inside the head of a man to understand the thought processes. Like i often wonder if there's a synapse or a million synapses that aren't firing properly in their brains which causes them to act the way they do. At least then i could understand why they treat women so poorly (or is it just me who likes the ones who don't return phone calls for weeks and when they do, they never mention that they've been MIA for 2 weeks)

enough about that for now, my dating disaster stories are too many to sit and type in right now, i'm sure i'll fill you in over the next few entries (or over the rest of my life...)