put down your fork

if you're eating right now, this is my disclaimer. see that picture? that's a picture of a sonogram with a gallstone in the gallbladder, that's what i got! it's not my gallbladder, but one i ripped off the internet. anyway, you might think i'd be excited for finally figuring out what was wrong with me for 7 months, but wait, that's not all, i also have something terribly wrong with MY BOWELS!! inflammation disease central. i'm sad to say. On dec. 13th, they knock me out AGAIN and stick a camera down my throat and figure out what's really going on in my upper GI! i won't have pictures of that, or maybe they can give me the film! that would be cool!! oh and tomorrow i promise to have the pics of my neice and i at our ladies tea party, i have the camera in my office, but forgot the cord to attach it to my computer!

there's a chance

that will could be dating someone as well as me.... last night i called him around 9:30pm and we talked for a while (we hadn't talked in over a week since i'd been away) and then he said he was running the shower. so i asked him if he was going out? and he said he was meeting a friend for drinks. my friends think and i agree that it's code for "I have a date." what guy do you know when meeting a friend out for drinks takes a shower beforehand? puh-lease. so now i'm off board. we're supposed to go out again tomorrow night, but i'm reconsidering YES I'M BEING A HYSTERICAL GIRL!

TOP 5 T.V. CRUSHES

my brother has so wonderfully (read: totally freaking embarrassingly) reminded me of 2 of my 80s crushes. Just so you all know, i had no intenion of putting these two on my list because i think this info is on par with memories of your drunken uncle touching you innappropraitely at christmas that you try to repress. Here is his email where he does detail my 2 crushes that were inexplicably totally real, not exaggerated. and believe me, my family does not let me forget the first one!!! take it away Dan.


Your first TV crush was Tony Randall (Ha, Ha) who appeared in the
comedy series "Love Sidney" which ran from 1981 to 1983.

"Love Sidney" ran at the start of the 80's, but at the very end of the
80's you had a big t.v. crush on someone who appeared in a series that
also had the word "LOVE" in it.

Now, there are 6 degress of separation between your first TV Love (Tony
Randall) and your end of the 80's TV Love:

1. Tony Randall played Felix Ungar in the t.v. version of "The Odd
Couple."
2. The role of Felix Ungar was played by Jack Lemmon in the 1968 movie
of "The Odd Couple."
3. Jack Lemmon co-stared with Tony Curtis in the 1959 movie "Some Like
It Hot"
4. Tony Curtis' daughter is Jamie Lee Curtis
5. Jamie Lee Curtis stared in a t.v. series called "Anything But Love"
that ran from 1989-1992.
6. The other co-star in "Anything But Love" was none other than
Sarah's late 80s t.v. crush........

RICHARD LEWIS.

Don't know what's sadder...That I came up with that series of
connections in under a minute or that your first crush was Tony Randall.

back in business

okay, so i'm back in LA from NY. I'm totally exhausted and went to bed at 2am and had to get up at 7:30am for a medical procedure. An ultrasound, not for pregnancy, but for some other stomach/abdomen issues I have been having for 7 months! Yikees. anyway, the technician was all business. And i asked her if she could see anything on the ultra sound (i couldnt make heads or tails of anything on the monitor) and she told me she couldn't tell me b/c it would be against the law. anyway, it took like 20 mins and I had all this nasty goop on my abdomen. The monitor was all black and white and grainy and i'm thinking don't we have the technology to be able to make some clearer pictures. I think this ultra sound technology has been around for like 30 years and i don't think it has improved. I've seen the pictures of my friend's babies ultra sounds and they point out thier little hands and feet and i have no idea what i'm loking at, but i play along. it's like that color thing that was big 10 years ago and some peopel looked at it and relaxed their eyes and could see a dragon in the mess of colors and other people just saw the colors. that's what looking at an ultra sound is like. tomorrow i'll post the pics of my tea party at the tea place in tarrytown, NY where my niece and i had a tea party with my friend tina.

sarah is out of the office

well, i had high hopes for my top 5 80s tv show crushes, but due to my lack of computer access at my parents house (read: my dad is a major computer hog and i can't do my research) its gonna have to be post poned.... i'm in NY and on saturday night i partied my ass off. which is really fun, but when i stop to look around at my other friends who have children or just got married, i'm starting to think there's something wrong with me. i'm gonna be goldie hawns character in that movie where she tracks down her party friend from the 60s (susan sarandon) who's a boring suburban mom and tries to get her to relive her glory days, which you can never do, and goldie hawn feels like a big loser, which is what im feeling. sure i party with celebrities and have a cool job, but it's not as glamorous as it seems, it's just a job, like any other job anyone else has to go to every day. I guess being home is bringing me down.

this week

i realize that many people this week have a lot of travelling to do. threfore i don't expect people to want to know all my goings on. however, i will still be doing that, but much like the best of howard stern when he's off for the week, i'm going to do my much anticipated series "TOP 5 1980 TV SHOW CRUSHES." IT originally was conceptualized as my top 5 sitcom sons crushes but since i didn't have the hots for DJ on roseanne or danny pinturo on "whos the boss" i had to expand my options, see how flexible i am! Anyway, it starts monday with #5 and goes until friday when i reveal my # 1 80s t.v. show crush!!!!!!

olive branch

my boss who i had a falling out with over 2 months ago and who i have not spoken to since was nice to me last night. we worked late and the guys on the staff wanted to order pizza from quickies, i did not want pizza, how many n ights can a girl eat pizza before she is admitted into duke university's fat rehab center. so i kept suggesting the daily grill and really put up a fight. my boss finally went with the daily grill, i thought that was nice of him. last night i went home late and packed for NYC. i leave tonight after the taping. I had grand intentions of getting up early and going to yoga this morning, but when the alarm went off, i just rolled over and fell back asleep. oh well. I can't wait to go to NY. I'm having b'fast with a bunch of my girls tomorrow morn at my fave b'fast place that i've been going to since i was a kid! aawww yeah!!!

i have a weird job part II

yesterday we were in the writers room talking about dybner and his diaper, more specifically his heat pad that looks like one of those maxi pad belts from the 70s. anyway, for some strange reason he decided to take it off in the middle of the re-write the night before and i didn't know what was going on, so i screamed a little drawing attention to him... oopps. well the writers tore him a new one. so yesterday they were making fun of him for it and asked him how he hurt his back, he said pilates, that just unleashed another round of barbs and i said don't feel bad dybner, none of these guys have worked out in years. that made mark another writer upset and he challenged me to a race, a 100 yard dash. so all the writers and production staff come running outside to see the big race. mark only wanted to run about 60 yards and i kept asking to stretch it out since i'm a distance runner. anyway, gregg started to make it an event and pulled people off the stage to come out and watch. there were like 30 people there to watch me GET MY ASS SMOKED!! mark was so far ahead he even turned around and ran backwards and show boated a little, which i thought was in poor taste!

coming soon...

my "TOP 5 SITCOM SONS OF THE '80S CRUSHES"... FEEL FREE TO SUGGEST ANY, BUT I HAVE MY FAVES prettttttttty much narrowed down...

what did you do at work today?

like most of you know, i'm a comedy writer for a tv show. and most days we just sit and pitch jokes and story ideas in a conference room. however yesterays re-write was hilarious. we were trying to come up with a line for one of our characters who is trying to make a play on words using the word boob in a movie title (circa 1979). so for literally 15 mins, my job and the job of the other writers was to sit and shout out names of movies with the word boob in them. f or example some of the pitches were as follows: kramer vs. boob, rocky boob, cannon ball boob, invastion of the boobie snatchers, boob over river quai, you get the drift. at the end of this run, one of the writers pretended to be his wife when he got home and asked"what did u do at work today?" because literally it's the weirdest job. P.S. "invasion of the boobie snatchers" won out and made it in the script!

girls night

last night was girls night at my friend amy's house. it was so much fun. we had a good showing, about 8 girls and we just got together and caught up and talked about telluride where we're going for new years and ate pizza (as i drove over there i swore i wasn't going to have any, oops, i did) and amy the hostess, sliced up apples and had caramel fondue to dip the apples into for dessert! YUMMY! HAD SOME OF THAT TOO. turns out i have no self control. i wanted to go to NY looking slim and slender for the holidays, i like losing weight before i go home cause then everyone who hasn't seen me in a while, oohs and aaaahs about how great i look (i know i'm insane) but alas this time that's not going to be the case. i weigh exactly what i weighed 6 months ago. I recently got back into yoga and have gone 3 times in the last 5 days, including 7 am yesteray morning. I can't get up for anything, but i can get up for yoga! how come yoga is an obsessive excercise, i guess cause it makes you feel so goooood! I also went to Macy's yesteray and bought all these cute clothes for my neice. I spent like 100 bucks, but it was worth it. I got this cute velvet coat from Guess jeans which is purple and a cute shirt to wear underneath and then a cute green sweater witha purple flower thingy on it and it has a white t-shirt underneath, it's so adorable. I can't wait until she puts on a fashion show.

art walk

went to the art walk yesterday in downtown LA. all these artists open up their lofts and show their art. made me realize that most art sucks! there were a few photos i liked and one artist who's name i can't remember, but pretty much not impressed. i think being an artist must be a hard job. then i had a date with will, we went to see jar head with my friend bernadette and her FIANCEE!! they got engaged last weekend and i had helped him pick out the ring, but couldnt' really talk about it on my blog for fear of bernadette finding out that he had been ring shopping. so we had a double date and will has strepp throat so him and i went back to his apt. and just hung out for a couple of hours. i leave for NY on friday!! can't wait

weekend

on saturday my roomie stacey and i went to the staples center to see a woman's tennis tournament. very fun. we saw maria sharapova, lindsey davenport, mary pierce and some other girl. the court was blue, that was fun and it was fun to see the staples center turn into a tennis venue, very cool. then i went to my friend carri's 30th birthday party where she had a guy from mississippi who she met on the internet and who have been corresponding for like 6 months over phone/im/internet and he flew in for the party. he's peruvian and kind of a muscle head, although he says he's a doctor and drives a porshe, who knows if any of this true. the only thing i know is true is that he has a flat top, straight out of 60s military shows. very strange that i actually know someone who actually did one of those internet long distance things, he could be a serial killer! but fun party, fun to see all my friends who i haven't seen in years!!!

hiding

i'm hiding in my office so i won't have to go on stage, where i'm supposed to be, because that damn chocolate fountain is back and the bottom of my jeans are covered in chocolate drippings due to the non stop dipping of pretzel rods and marshmallows into the fountain. i have no self-control!!! SOMEBODY STOP ME!!

got a shit load of jokes in yesterday script, oh yeah!!! then went with kristin to Burke Williams spa and sat in the hot tub and got massages. Mine was pretty sick since I have sciatica and my massueuse just went to town on my lower back and now it's very sore. I also went to yoga yesterday morning before work. All these things i'm trying to do to make my scaitica go away. I'm very excited, i leave for NY a week from today to go home for thanksgiving!! and i get to see my babies, rowan and liam, my neice and nephew!! i'm so excited.

working for a living

so i worked yesterday and then went to the gym for 1.5 hours!! i can't believe it myself, but i ate a lot yesterday, so i had to balance it out. I think i saw some muscles peaking out of my shoulders, but don't get too excited, it could be an optical illusion. then i went home and watched Martha Stewart apprentice, i'm really starting to get into it. I'm going to NY a week from tomorrow for 10 days for thanksgiving, and I cannot wait. today is pancake day on the stage (make your own) so i'm gonna head down and make myself a chocolate chip smiley face pancake!

accupuncture

yesterday morning, i rose very early to go to get accupunture. for those of you who are only willing to take what the western medicine doctors give you, you are sadly missing out. Last year I went to get treated for anxiety and it was truly a life saver. The drs. I go to are famous in LA, yes yes, all the celebs go there. I was coming out as helen hunt was going in (wait, is she still a celeb) but now I'm going back for anxiety maitenance and more importantly, sciatica.(sp?) I think. I tore my hamstring while in chile a year and a half ago and decided to do nothing about it, strangely it hasn't gotten better, but has gotten SO MUCH WORSE. who knew if you neglected a health issue it would get worse. anyway, my leg feels awesome right now. I"m telling you accupunture is the way to go if you have a problem that western medicine will throw pills at just to aid the pharamceutical companies and get them richer!! On a side note, i think Will gets home from mexico either today or tomorrow, i wonder if we're still dating? I guess I'll know if I ever hear from him again.

oops, my blog is screwy

I wrote my blog yesterday and i didn't publish. Ugg!! (boots) anyway, i went to go see the new harry potter movie last night with my friend Liz. I get to see it before it comes out due to the fact tha I'm a member of the WRiters Guild of America. Sure, we have crappy health insurance and can't get a mammogram until we're like 40, but hey who's complaining when i can see an awesome movie for free!! I took my friend Liz andshe's very lucky since I'm friends with numerous harry potter fans! YOU'RE WELCOME, LIZ! This morning I brought into work 2 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts for the staff. YUMMY, it's funny when you do something like this, all the women are lik e"thanks a lot sarah" in a sarcastic, i hate you for bringing in fattening foods tone and the men are like "thanks a lot sarah," in a psyched, we get donuts child like tone!! Very funny albeit not surprising!

fall cleaning

last night I came home and looked at one of my sweaters which is super cute, but is riddled with holes and decided to donate it. that set off a 3 hour cleansing that ended up with me with 4 bags of stuff to donate to goodwill including a stereo and camera and a big bag of garbage. not sure where this inspiration came from, i think maybe it was becasue yesterday I bought a new laptop, ipod speakers, guitar stand (not to play a guitar, but I have an electric guitar signed by dave matthews i want to display) a new printer and a mini breathalizer (a very strange purchase indeed, but a smart one in LA) anyway, maybe I was trying to make room for my new purchases. strangely, if you looked in my closet, you couldn't tell I threw out so much stuff, how is that possible? I can tell of course. I also organized shelves and folded all my clothes so every thing is so nice and neat looking, yay me!

prime

went to go see Prime last night, it was actually funny. it was girls night at the movies, I got together 5 of my girl friends and we watched a cheasy romantic comedy. anyway, before the movie my firend liz made kristen and I dinner, it was v. yummy and then we walked over and met my other friends. It's a movie about a 37 yr old dating a 23 year old. I'm 31 dating a 27 yr old and liz is 28 texting and wanting to make out with a 23 yr. old, so we related to the movie.

halloween in vegas pics

pictures finally

here are some pics of the Lt. Dan band with gary sinise as the bass player. His band threw a party on the lot on friday night.

KOI

last night I went to dinner with my girlfriends, kristin and bernadette to KOI, this sushi hot spot in LA. It's been open for a number of years but I've never been. It has the same chef as Katsuya in Studio City which is my fave sushi place. anyway, regardless of the snooty factor, I really liked the ambience. When i walked up to the place a number of paparazzi were poised outside with their cameras. a lot of celebrities go to KOI, so i was excited to see who was inside, but when I walked around I didin't see anyone famous. B and K and I waited for our table on the outside patio and I had a clear shot of the cameramen hoping to catch someone famous. this happens a lot, when you drive past restaurants in LA, you can tell if a celeb is inside if there are paprazzi waiting outside. anyway, no one famous came in or out until suddenly, flashbulbs start going off in my face and I'm all excited and in walks... WILL SMITH...'S COUSIN from the fresh prince of bel air. I was bumming. after dinner, which rocked, I was waiting outside for the car when I see my friend will, who's a cast member on saturday night live, walking up the street. he was on his way to meet his friend and we all joined them for about an hour and just hung out. Will is the nicest person in the history of the world!!

pictures

pictures from this weekend from the Lt. Dan Band and my party in vegas will be posted tomorrow if my computer cooperates!

Johnny sweep the leg update and more

well, it turns out my friend Liz who, if you read below has wanted to meet johnny sweept the leg/billy zapka from karate kid her whole life and I finally introduced the two and they partied all night on saturday. well the story continues, turns out, Liz and my roomate stacey went to a party after the first party on saturday night and at the 2nd party there was a guy there dressed as... BILLY ZAPKA/JOHNNY SWEEP THE LEG!! that's hilarious. for those of you who don't know on sunday morning, i went to vegas for about 20 hours for a party thrown by a friend of mine at Pure at caesars. So I was up all night on sunday until 4 am drinking and dancing and then had to get up at 6am to catch a flight back to LA. You can't even imagine the shape I was in at work yesterday. I ran into one of my co-workers in the boarding area and i don't even really remember talking to him, i was a total mess. thankfully we got off of work early and I went home and slept the afternoon away. Will, the guy I've been kinda dating left for mexico today and I was hoping to get a chance to see him last night before he left, but I had to call and be like, i'm in so much pain, tonight ain't gonna happen!