dating tip

here's a dating tip, when you go on a date with a guy u met on the internet, know what his name is BEFORE you arrive.

yeah, cause i didn't

i went to luna park last night to meet up with an internet guy, i thought his name was dan, i have no idea why. I only know 2 dans: my brother and my friend who is married.
but anyway, i walked up to him and said "are you dan?" he said no, then i had to look around some more and be like I swear that guy looks like the guy (FYI looked like, but did not really look like him, he must've showed a picture from ages ago) then i had to be like ummmmm.... and then he said "you're sarah." and i was so fucking humiliated!!!! he told me at the end of the date, at that moment he was going to be like "yeah, lets just go home." but thankfully when we sat down I wowed him with my gorilla run story. Good to know that's such a great story.

anyway, he was very nice, once he got over the attitude of me not knowing his name. I had to work extra hard and be extra "everythings cool" even though he was kinda being a bitch about it with his attitude and smarmy look. I was like furiously trying to peddle the bicycle. I could totally tell he wanted to hit eject with how he was giving me smarm looks, anyway, we ate s'mores which is why we went there since I love s'mores and say so on my bio.

we had fun. i'm not drinking in the month of october, so i drank lemonade i didn't tell him of course I wasn't drinking for that reason, kinda makes it seem like I'm a drunk if i have a rule where I take a month off of booze every year, so i just said "Oh I took an allergy pill b/c of all the smoke and crap in the air right now and can't have a drink." this relationship is already built on lies, i think the best ones are.

anyway, he walked me to my car and said good night. I think he's very smart and nice and would go out with him again. I'm trying to do that more, give peopel more than one shot to impress me. I'm such a bitch, i know but i'm trying not to be!

type A

when i was growing up i pretended to not care about anything. ever. truth is i cared about everything. However people are stupid and coudn't tell, or maybe some could. but a lot of my friends in irvington still think of me as a fuck up.

here's the reality.

I'm a fucking type A perfectionist.

which is why taking tennis is proving to be disastorous. In the past 4 weeks of my lessons, my game has improved so dramatically that all the people in my class are stunned as is the teacher. Like stunned, they cannot believe how much better i've gotten. Im focused, I'm driven and I really work at it.

tonight on the court, my game was so on. and i was no longer the suck ass player. and then is started, the john mcenroe melt downs. becuause I am a perfectionist and know that I'm much better, I now expect so much of myself, i expect perfection which i know is irrational and unrealistic, but tonight I missed an easy shot and screamed, threw down my racket and walked off the court, later I rolled around on the ground in pure agony. it's agony not being perfect.

the instructor said something about my competitive side coming, but i'm not competitive with other people, i do not care about other people, i'm so wrapped up in my own progress. he even pretended to hit me with the racket after a missed a shot and i didn't even notice, he was all You didn't even flinch, I was inches away from hitting you. I said I was too mad at myself to notice anything else around me.

i'm turning into john mcenroe.

oh and the girls in my class finally asked me if I wanted to play during the week. No one has aksed me before cause i suck, but now i'm good and they all want a piece. I'm kidding, but it does feel good. Man, when I focus I hyper focus, not sure it's a good thing...

Does this guy look gay to you? he's on brothers and sisters and I saw him walk into the little door next door last week and.... I find him super fly, so why didn't i follow him in? I was outside talking to my friend Paul and just had a big lunch with my friend carrie and didn't need to eat or drink any more coffee even if a tv star was in the showp. but he looked so cute!!!! he's from wales, i think we would make a cute couple.

I wonder if he lives in the nieghborhood becuase I live in the neighborhood and it would be so convenient.

also on the male front, there's a guy who i have a mild interest in, he was the one in april who after my friends premire party tracked my email down and send me an email. i went to see his band the other night and he seemed so happy to see me and kept touching me while he talked to me, and so i sent him some pics from the gorilla run cause he donated and then NOTHING. my friend karen was with me and was like "i think doug likes you, he kept touching you, he wasn't touching me!" and i was like "nooooo" but inside i was like "yaaaayyy!!"

but now im disappointed cuase i haven't heard from him

i just exhibitted some serious will power. tonight i was reallly hungry, and told myself if i went to the gym i could then afterward get dominick's spag. and meatballs for takeout. It's my fave restaurant in LA and so fucking good.

while on the eliptical, where I did 4 miles and burned 400 calories, i said no sarah, u have veggies and eggs in ur fridge that are about to go bad, make something out of that and u can save money and eat a healthy alternative. so i did!!

then i said i'd reward myself by going to the grocery after and picking up some more sugar free choc. pudding, but whenever i go to the store these days buy candy corn and said no i wont do that, but that lasted until i got in the aisle of candy and ooked up and down so then i said if i dont see the candy corn during my first pass of the candy aisle, then i'm not allowed to go back and look again, that was the sign i'm not supposed to get the large autumn candy corn mix with pumpkin and chocolate candy corn as well. NO I AM NOT! well of course, i turned around after failing to see the bag the first pass, i mean where could they be hiding, they wre right here last sunday night, dammit!

but alas, i wouldn't allow myself to do another drive by. so i came home, with the pudding, soy milk and banans and some more of my favorite yogurt (real yogurt not frozen) I've found that one yogurt a day has solved my stomach problems... of course until they start up again.

so i turned down the spag and meatballs, saved money and turned down candy corn. so proud of myself.

do i seem obsessed? that was rehtorical.

went yesterday to an autumn festival in moorpark. It was like something stright out of gimore girls. it was about an hour outside of LA. went with my friends who have kids, i was the 7th wheel. I went with amy and greg and their 2 kids, sooooooo cute these kids and babies playing on the hay, posing on big pumpkins, etc.

saw pig racing!!! i feel like i'm in the country not the 2nd largest city in the us.

there was a cow ride and each cow had a name, as u can see one was named sarah, my name.

I have commitment issues that i need to stop. let me slow down.

last week i was watching oprah with alexis stewart where she talked about getting preggers in her early 40s and how impossible it was proving to be and how all these magazines make it seem like she has plenty of time to get preggers cause people are having their 2nd child in their 50s. but she says its just not true.

so i panicked and that night got back online dating and winked at a couple of guys, 10 2 b exact, only 2 winked back. that's a 20% return rate, better than a stock portfolio i guess.

i need to meet someone. i'm not sure i want kids or what have u, they seem like a lot of work and i'm lazy by nature, but i need to get on it so as at least have a chance and not be fucked if i decide in 5 years that's exactly what i want!!

under pressure

prob. is i have major commitment issues that i need to adress, but who has the time, according to alexis stewart, i'm alredy too late!!! AARRRGGGHH!!!!!

the guy on the left is Sam, my english lova! 6 feet 4 inches of loveliness.

I HAVE A CANDY CORN HANGOVER.... I WISH I WAS KIDDING

must stop eating candy corn.

so when i was in high school, billy joel released this song called we didn't start the fire and it was like cool to memorize the entire thing, dont really know why or if it was cool at all, perhaps only i thought it was cool

anyway, i found this site that hyperlinks EVERY word of that song so you know what every event he's takling about is, it's pretty awesome. or maybe i just think it's awesome and it's not.

WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE HYPERLIN

how do they know this?

i was just at Ralphs shopping for groceries and needed salsa. So i went up to an employee and said "wheres the salsa?" and she said without a 2nd thought, "aisle 13."

how did she know this? do they have to memorize where EVERY SINGLE ITEM is in the store? i'm always suprised when they all know this. I dont even know where i put my keys IN MY OWN HOUSE!

i'm so tired, i have been burning the candle at both ends. today i woke up at 9am and that ws so late for me as I have been gettting up at 7 and going to ed at like 2.

another friend read the script last night, she said it's good. i still think everyone is lying to me. i mean it's no House (best show on TV along with Friday night lights)
but it is very MTV cartoon, which seeing that it is an MTV cartoon sounds right.

it's that time of the year again....

i hate halloween, i mean HATE HATE HATE IT. I miss my old roomie stacey terribly, but she is crazy in love with halloween and that is the only reason i'm glad shes not around anymore as she used to make me celebrate this stupid holiday.


but here's the only reason why i like this time of year...



I cannot go into Ralphs without picking a bag of this devils brew up! I'm even considering buying bags and bag to last me until the new year!!!

speaking of the new year, as a result of the 3 some i had last year and the blackout/falling down the subway stairs and then unblacking out I grounded myself on Jan 1st for 2007-2008 new years eve. that's right an entire year before I already told myself i was being punished for said behavior. so now chatter is happening about this NYE and people think i'm lame for not allowing myself to go out. I think a glass of wine and a night at the cinema might do a gal good.

i'm stressed. I have so much going on this week it's crazy. I'm furiouslly writing my MTV show script doubting now whether I can even write. I wrote for 4 hours yesterday after my pitch to TBS and athen went to tennis and while trying to perfect my backhand I came to the conclusion that I needed to work much more.

so at 9pm i sat down at my computer and worked for 4 more hours. today i met my friend at Peets coffee to discuss it. Shes not one of those people who is honest so it's hard to know how sh really felt about the script. this is what i've learned about people. She doens't like to get notes or do re-writes on her scripts and she takes notes so personally that sometimes she cries when you says "i dont really know the voice of this character" so as a result, she doesn't give honest notes. Meanwhile, if i read something, i'm like hate it, love it, needs work, dont get, becaues i think getting notes only makes a script better and i welcome them and do not take it personally. If you dont get something u dont get it and chances are other people wont end of story!

so now i'm doing another re-write to send to my friend Alan who will hopefully be more honest. although that s not to say my friend this a.m. wan'st helpful, she def. was.

another thing though is that she says when i ask her to read a script "you better hire me on this," or "you better by me a latte," she always wants payback, meanwhile I read her script a few weeks ago and just read it and didn't demand anything, but she ALWAYS needs to have an agenda, always needs to tell u why she's doing you a favor, always needs to be OWED!

it's annoying

phew! i got a $600 residual check yesterday that i immediately sent to my Credit card whose balance i have let accrue which is so unlike me it's ridic! so when i got the check in teh mail, i sent the exact amount to my 2 credit cards (you know things are bad when you start choosing which card to use) that is going to put a nice dent in what I owe. thank heaven!

yesterday i found a dollar on the sidewalk, it made me smile,

today i have to pitch to my sony producer more ideas to go out with to the networks again, meanwhile i'm furiously drownging in my mtv script as it's a complete mess and not at all funny. Man pilots are hard you have to set up the characters, all their relationships while making it funny. It's already 12 pages and it's only supposed to be 17, oh well, try more like 30. i'll have to make cuts after wards.

so ive come up with like 15 ideas to pitch the producer today, some are dark and crazy, but most have a hook which is what she likes.

on monday i'm stepping in for a 2 month gig back on my ivillage tv website to help out suzy, shout out!! because the gal who took over after me quit. also i write the house recaps on that site and loooove that. Its fun to read the comments other fans post based on my questions about the episode.

i'm tired

if you have any ideas for a tv show please share ASAP

i'm still recovering from jet lag which i've never really had before as i usually get to my destingation and work out or run or walk and that really helps, but since i've been back, i've been sitting and writing non stop, so no workouts so this jet lag has been dragging. It didn't help that on sunday night in london after our flight turned around and landed back in london that i went to bed at 130am and had to get up at 4am to fight with united about putting me on a direct to LA flight and then was too riled up to sleep again, so i didn't really get a good nights sleep and thats just fucked me!

oh well

off to create a tv show...

more london pics

here's one of the other gorilla's and one of the tower bridge i stayed just on the other side!

on frieday night in london, i got free tickets to see ricky gervais in concert! HOLY SHIT IS THAT GUY HAILAROUS!

my seat was amazing, 8th row center, amazing.

where to begin..

i'mnot sure, and i know i dont have time to dicuss all that happened in london right now as i'm on deadline for the mtv show...

let's just say after my encounter with the hot brit, i got a UTI and was peeing blood for about 5 days, at first i had no idea waht was going on and had to google it at 2 am in cambridge b/c i thought i was going to die. then the next day i hit up a homeopathic place as a doctor would've been a waste of a day and they gave me some stuff to make me more comf. until i got home and started chowing down on anti biotics.

ok, so on my flight from dc to london, i met this girl who sat next to me named sarah.
and turns out, she is me. literally. let me start listing it off

she sleeps for 12 hours a day, so do i
she is really funny and has so much energy, so am i
she loves stephen fry, so do i
she loves harry potter, so do i
she works in tv, so do i
she wants to live in london, so do i
she has brown hair, so do i and the same lienght as mine
her name is sarah, so is mine.


she told her friends in london about me and they were like "she sounds like you."

i've never met any one who is so much like me and that inclusdes stacey who is eerily like me, this person is LITERALY ME!

we were on the same flight back to d.c. that took off then after 2 hours turned around and landed back in london where we were all put in a hotel. we hung out at the pub and drank beer and talked and she is me, i swear, we even prefer the same beer. she called me the next a.m. and we got b'fast together and headed to heathrow together but i got on a direct flight to l.a. so we had to break up.

making the love

so i've been in london now for almost a week i suppose. well, i think today is thurs. right? so that means tomorrow is friday and i landed on friday sio yes almost a week. anyway so much to report. i'm right now in cambridge, came here for the afternoon and got a booking at a hostel. theyr';e not for young peeps anymore. or at least this is what il ike to think. i walked around this evening and stopped ina burger place and got a free glass of wine as they moved me around tables a few times and felt bad, ah such is the life of a single person.

so on saturday ir an the gorilla run, went to the after party that night where i met sam, the hottie director of fundraising for them. we flirted and while on the dance floor he tokld me he wished he coudl show me around london but he was leaving on wed. for his best mates wedding. of course this didn't stop me from pursuing hi. he asked me out to lunch on monday but it turned into drinks as i had a few meetings and we TOTALLY made out. he's blonde and 6'4. OMG hot hot hot. i had emailed him a few times before coming to london since i diodn't want my gorilla suit shipped there. so he knew of me. the girls from teho ffice there saw me wadnering around th party alone and told me to drink with them. i was in with the group. we partied and danced to 2 am they couldn't believe i was 29!! gasp. they were 22. we then walked to SE1 a part of london, turns out nothing going ont here, but walking over the london bridge at 3 am was intteresting. we then got a cab to leister square and i had now completely confused my jeet lag body. at 430am i bailed and sam (the boy) got me a pedi cab as he didn't want a cab taking me since theyr'e all dodgy and not licensed (no black cabs to be found) so i took a pedi cab back to mty place at 430am, it was freezing, over the london bridge we went, hilarious.

sunday i met up with some friends of friends who just graduated from columbia business school, they were cool had drinks with them anc then we headed to a restuarant for dinner. I've eaten like 4 times since ive been here so i skipped the meal but drank, i've been doing A LOT OF THAT.

met up with sam monday evening and made out. told u that already. then tues i went to skaespeare globe and saw merchant of venice and wasn't a big fan, then also checked out big ben and westminster abbey. v, cool. met up with sam that night and we listened to jazz and then one thing led to another and he came home with me. please, hes 6'4 and british, it was a no brainer. he's freaking the hottest guy i've hooked up with. duh. i out did myself.

wed. we got up and got some b'fast he headed home, no idea if i'll ever see him again, but he asked me to be his facebook friend, what does that mean? hilar!

wed. i had 3 meeetings with various tv production companies, one a the shoreditch house, which is the same as the soho house but in shoreditch. london has a ton of these private clubs all around the city. i love it here. love love love.

today i met up with nicole who was in the gang i met on sunday and we went to lunch at covent gardens and then st. pauls cathedral. amazxing. headed up to cambridge where i now sit. tomoro early i'm going to norfolk to check out a market town in the coutnry and then back to london to hear RICKY FUCKING GERVAIS!!! he's doing standup and i got free tickets through one of these tv peeps i met yester!! tomorrow night i'm staying in swiss cottage, fancy and then sat. i'm meeting up with paula from la and staying at her hotel, she's here on business, i leave sunday!! so freakin sad as i have to start writing the script of my mtv show immediately upon returning to l.a.

so i made it to london. yesterday i landed and got to my pad, it's in a sweet neighborhood at the bottom of tower bridge. Great places to walk around and it's right on the river and the tower bridge at night is quite a sight. \i got a beer at this bar on the rivers edge and just sat and checked out the bridge. yesterday i walked and walked in order to not fall asleep. i didn't sleep very much on the plane even though i took 1.5 ambien.

i probably walked 8 miles to buckinham palace, hyde park, clarence house (home to the princes william and harry, hubba hubba) mayfair, camden lock, camden canals, camden town (very much like melrose, only grayer)

this morning \i did the gorilla run and it was fucking amazing. i could not stop laughing. we ran over all the bridges, ran by all the london sites, it was truly a great way to see the city. i sweat my ass off in the suit, and its sunny today, ITH'S NEVER SUNNY IN LONDON I CAME TO GET AWAY FROM THE SUN!! and its sunny. alright, i'm off to the tower of london, a medieval castle smack dab in central london!! pretty fucking cool! that's where they chopped off all the heads of people like anne bolyen, yeah, im a history nerd.

no men yet, i only had a beer last night or 3 but whos counting and crashed hard!! i was so fucking tired. anyway, off for now.

what ho! i'm headed to jolly old england tomorrow. I cannot cannot wiat! I have meetings set up, one is a tea! hilarious! One is a drinks, which of course I'll love as i need things to do in the evening.

i got a new top from banana. I got a clean white top for my meetings! so excited to leaving l.a. behind for 10 days to drink, walk around, have meethings, i'm going to watch rugby world up on sunday at a pub in kensington with my friend alan's friends. yahoo!!

I do the gorilla run on saturday, pictures to follow upon my return. I'm super excited to make out with an english lad(s), my face is waxed and plucked, my hair cut all cute and tonight before I go, I have a free ticket to see Justin Timberlake at staples and a limo to take me there!! woo fucking hoo!!!

next stop London!!! awesome! i'll fill you in on all the details this weekened about the gorilla run!!

i had a date at formosa last night. I thought it was going well, he was very cute, very me! which i was finally glad about. his emails were funny (well, mine were funnier, but still) and so it was going well, but at the end of the date i dont thinkhe liked me.

first off we split the bill. not that i expected him to pay for all of it, but it wasjust happy hour appetizers and drinks! helloooo.

then he didn't walk me to my car. in hollywood, not hte most safe neighborhood. and he's from the south so he should know better they're gentlemen for fuck sake.

also he was like "we shoudl do this again" and i didn't believe him and i'm not sure i wanted to do it again so i said "yeah definatelly" very fake enthusiatically.

but i think he may have been having fun then got a vibe off me that i wasn't having fun so then he didn't have fun. Dating is such a fucking mine field.

last night i went to my really great friend from college's parent's house. she was in town for rosh hahanana and i get invited every year for dinner. I am usually horribly uncomfortable as her step dad gets drunk and touches me inapporpraitely. anyway, this year it was a big crowd and even though the SD planted himself near me during the post dinner pre dessert break, I only spoke to him a little then went into the kitchen to help. you know i am desperate to get out of a sitch if i'm HELPING!

anyway, before desert, my friend's father in law gave a toast. thanking each person present for something. this is the order of the people for the toast and i cannot believe i'm not making this up.

my friend
my friends' mother
my friend's step father
my friends aunt and uncle in law
my friends cousin in law
my friends sister's boyfriend
my friends sister
Granny
the kugel (a jewish dish)
the brisket
ME!!

I WAS AFTER THE MUTHA FUCKING BRISKET!!

HAPPY 2 MONTH ANNIVERSARY

I know i said last month that I wouldn't be wishing myself a happy anniversary every month after my appendix was taken out but I had to today for the following reason.

two months ago today i had my appendix out, so i decided to celebrate this morning by being a perfectly attentive driver and getting hit by a driver who was drinking coffee and not paying attention, which dont' worry, i scolded him for. I said "what were you doing?" He todl me drinking his coffee so i said "Well you're driving a car so you're supposed to be paying attention, you're supposed to be focused." yeah like i think i mentioned before i've become a short fused mega bitch recently.

anyway, my bumper has so many scractches from living in west hollywood for so long, so i coudln't tell if he did any damage, but i did take his info in case my back hurts, which is now does. I took his insurance info, and i felt bad b/c his hands were shaking. I feel like i've let so many people who've hit me off the hook, why do i do that?!

i'm too nice. maybe something will work out for me one day.

got notes from mtv on my project. From now on, we've been told that the star of the project wants to beon all the notes calls so next weeks call is going to be have to be cancelled and reschudled over and over i'm imagining. too bad I'm heading out of town on the 20th to london for a little r and r so they'll have to get it together before then. (or wait until 10/1)


didn't do anything interesting last night, went to the gym that was pretty much it. tonight i'm going to drinks at dominicks for a bday party and then tomorrow night my friend will forte's movie The Brother's Solomon is opening and a huge group of us are going to the opening night showing in westwood with the stars of the movie! (which includes will) i think we're buying out the entire theatre!!! so fun! this is the 2nd movie opening night thing i've gone to for a friend this year! when is this going to happen for me that my movie is opening. Dman, i sound so whiny!

wow its wednesday, where did the week go.

the disappearing guy has i believe disappeared for good. he last texted me on friday a.m. and haven't heard since, suffice it to say i'm not optimistic that he's "the one" (i dont actually believe in the one so lucky for my)

this weekend, i went to BBQ after BBQ. I worked out, gained 3 pounds and had a visit from my good friend from high school tina who was here on business. i made her go to the four seasons spa with me for massages as I felt I both needed and deserved one. then we had cocktails at the rooftop spa and then continued drinking at Dominicks where I am every week in case you haven't been following the blog. I end up there at least once a week drinking pinot noir at the bar, it is a delight as i can walk there and its also dangerous cause i can walk there.

but i had fun with tina, it's fun to see friends who've known you forever and there's not pretenses or bullshit.

MY NEW THEORY

I died during my appendicitis.

And instead of going to heaven, I've been sent to hell.

which looks an awful lot like Los Angeles and doesn't say much about my friends who can still see me...

157

i got on the scale this morning scared of what i was going to see as i have been eating a lot these past few days and low and behold I am 157 which is the exact weight i was when i first weighed myself after my surgery.

i know it may sound like a lot and for most people it would be, but its' not for me cause i guess i have a lot of muscle, i dont know. Anyway, before my surgery i was 165, so i'm glad this weight has stayed off, through much work i have to be honest, working out, eating very little and writing down all the calories... oh yes, i'm insane!

in case you're wondering what it's like to be me...

this is a very accurate way of putting yourself in my shoes!

this is how i feel every day of my life even if i dont act it... this is why Amy calls me JOB (the guy from the bible that had all the bad luck)


i am charlie brown and God (if he actually exists which i'm not so sure he does) is Lucy... he always makes it seem like he's going to FINALLY allow me to kick the ball... and then.... well you know the rest.

it's a sad day when you think the best thing to happen to you this year was a surprise $90,000 surgery....

IT'S OFFICIAL

i have been rejected at every network! woo hoo.

the producer loves this pitch so much she wants to take it to some cable places. grrrr. i currently hate the pitch and i dont want to do it anywhere at this point.

i'm so sick of things not working out for me. Like the pitch or the disappearing boy who has... disappeared again. or just read through my blog and youll see nothing ever works out for me...

how much more can i take?! serioulsy

p.s. i know i dont have it as bad as 90% of this world, so please dont email me platitudes like 'everything happens for a reason"

two networks passed on my pitch. the 2 i didn't think would wnat it anyway, so it's no surprise.

i went out with disppaearing boy last week and had a great time, then he texted me all sunday afternoon, but didn't ask me out?!?! remi says I'm prob. in the mix of women he's dating. FUCK MEN!

i'm working right now furiously on my MTV project... i have something that is due today, but i'm not sure i'll have it done before my pitch at the final network this afternoon. i'll prob. have to come back to the guild after my pitch and finish it up (or finish it from my office at home i suppose) I'm stressed about it as there are 7 exec. producers on the project and they're not all going ot get on board with the entire thing i'm sending them...

i'm so tired from working so hard, i've been on the go for weeks. hopefully after my movie pitch on friday (that i need to write wed and thurs) i can get a massage or go to bed for the weekend!!!

so last night i had to go to a party for my friends baby and I drove Kristin and on the way there she told me about how... ok, i'm going to start from the beginning..

there's a super cute guy who works at the lounge, i'd even go as far to say he was hot.
so one day we found ourselves in the elevator together and i totally flirted with him and this is when i was living with kristin and i wen tohome and told her... well she started using the lounge and guesss who i saw her flirthing with?!@!?! so then yesterday i guess she ran into him at kings road, he was with another friend of ours, and then she was crossing the streeet and was halmost hit by a car and GUESS WHO WAS DDRIVING IT!!! so she is obsessed with "meet cute" stories, that's why she never tells anyone if she's dating a guy she met online, but it's not a meet cute story and she likes a good story, so the fact that she almost got hit by him, she thinks this is a sign... come to find out he expressed interest in her to their mutual friend and so i think they're going out and kristin decides to tell me this while lost in bumble fuck LA trying to find this party last night... so yeah, she stole my BF!!! i cannot believe her "and shekeeps saying stuff like "well if you dont want me to go out with him I wont," but really can i say "ok" cause she'd probl go out with him anyway.

I'm not sure about this, but now i kinda suspect that she came to the writers guild only after i said there was a hot writer there....

Yesterday I had to write but it was good cause i got a lot of work done. I met kristin at insomnia and she wrote as well. I should also write today but i'm not sure i'm going to be able to.

last night i went to the party thrown by one of the cast members of bones. I was psyched to go cuase he's super cute, but when off the set he does something with his hair that makes him look kinda gay. anyway,it was a huge freakin party and i ran into other people i knew there as well. great music oh and in the middle of the party aroujnd 1am they started serving BITE SIZED GRILLED CHEESE SANDWHICHES!! it was GENIUS! they would put them on the trays and wouldn't even get in the back yard before the tray would be empty, people were FREAKING out over them. naturally today i feel totally sick as i had about 12 of them: oh they are so small i said to myself... not if u have 12, they pretty much amount to 4 sandwiches!!!

oh and johnny sweep the leg from the karate kid was at the party, i know him through the old roomate.

so yesterday I spent the day pitching to 3 networks my sitcom pilot. It was so intense, you go into these room with these execs and put on a little play for 20 mins. and ih ad to do that 3 times yesterday and then i went out and got drunk. I had remi and carrie over for wine and then they went to a dinner party and I drank a little by myself and then walked to dominikcs to meet up with kristin where i proceeded to drink a lot more and wanted to go home with the guy sitting next to me which turned out to be a director from my favorite show!!! it was coool cause my friend came by to say hi to me and she's a tv director so i think i might have gotten her at least a meeting to direct my fave show.... and then i could meet my tv boyfriend, again!!!

anyway, pitching is so hard for the soul as the studio i work with loooooved my pitch and so when i went in to pitch it it's hard b/c these people dont laugh or sometimes they yawn and when that happens i start hating on myself something fierce and start an inner dialogue WHILE also pitching on the outside!



on thurs I was walking past that restaurant across from Toast and saw natalie maines from the dixie chicks, love her! did u ever see their documentary? it rocks, she rocks.

so today i had to get up early to go to the LA parking permits office to get a permit for my new apt. I did this a month ago, but they wouldn't give me my new permit to park there b/c my car wasn't registered to that address. Apparently when i last regsitered my car i was supposed to be able to predict the future of my new address and put it down.

so i had to go to burbank to AAA to get a new registrattion, it only cost 20 bucks, i can see why too as they took 3 seconds to punch in my new address and hit print. Then u have to pay for the parking permits, you basically have to pay to live in your neighborhood. wahts' the point of paying for these things. i understand having permits for those who prove they live htere, but 30 bucks it lame, THEN i had to get 2 visitor permits, now sure no one visits me, but just in case! Also maybe eventualy i'll get a BF. oh and these visitor permits at 15 bucks each and are only good for 4 months!

anyway, on my drive home i was at the corner of doheny and 3rd when a grey new range rover made a left onto doheny in front of me. I thought huh, that guys looks like an older keifer sutherland, and as he drove by me i was like THAT IS KEIFER SUTHERLAND smoking a cigartette at 9:30am!!! he's v. cute even when lookign old.

a hangover

i have a hangover, and feeling nauseas (sp??) which is unfortunate as I am leaving the WGA to go pitch to SONY my pilot... grr. whatevs, this is a practice pitch that doens't count, but it leads me to believe something i suspected... i'm TOTAL FUCKING LIGHTWEIGHT NOW!!!

I SAW DAVE ANNABELLE FROM BROTHERS AND SISTERS AT THE GROVE YESTERDAY. he's ridic hot!@!!!!!!! omg omg omg omg! love him!!!!

this is a queer pic of him i foudn, he looks so much better in person!!

today i have to head to some hotel in burbank where i'm pitching my show to sony for a pre pitch (i pitch to all the major networks on friday!!! excpet ABC which is next tues.) i guess they're too busy to go back to the studio so it's going to be weird... like my life!!!

i have a po box b/c i moved out of one place 6 weeks before i could move into my new place. so i needed a place to forward my mail. i go there like every three days or so, and this morning i swung by and my box was packed! i had this thick envelope from the writers guild taht was a residual envelope, meaning checks were inside and from the looks of it A LOT OF CHECKS!!!!

so i tear open the envelope and indeed a ton of checks seven of them!!!! woo hoo i thought to myself until i saw how much they were for: SEVEN BUCKS EACH!!!!!!!

a whopping 49 bucks. hey i is not complaining, because i got my cell phone bill and that was for like over 50 bucks so that worked out nicely.

ran 2 miles last night at the gym, i'm building back up to my former self!!

i've realized today that I think I"m immature that's why i'm not in a relationship and dress like a college co-ed.

It's not like a like fart sounds, but I would never turn down a build your own sundae bar, in fact I fancy them more than I do cocktail parties.

went to this place called americas cup last night wehre you serve yoruself fro yo, then put on as many toppings as you like and then they weigh it and charge you. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED THIS PLACE! I told my cousin I was coming back every day (problem: its like an hour south of me) but see i'm immature. what grown up delights in such things?

as most of u know, i work at the writers guild lounge every day (week days)

today they posted a sign that the loungue is closing for negotiations of the contract and could be closed for like a year!!! this is the only place where i can write from and it's a great resource and it's a place where i have a little contact with others!

so i got on the phone and i'm currently leading a revolt, even got a petition. I guess I'm a leader. Now we can't keep this place but i'm aksing for an alternative!!! or a compromise!!!

monday monday

sooo yesterday i ate like a pig and didn't go to the gym.

hey did i tell u i saw brekkin myers at toast the other morning... WITH A BABY?!?! when did that guy have a baby?! v. confused. also saw sarah silverman's SISTER at my ghetto prison gym... celebs: they're just like you and me, they're cheap!

went to the O.C. yesterday to help my cousin decorate her "hall" she's an R.A. at her Christian College. Her mom (my first cousin) was down from seattle so I drove down and we decorated the hall her theme is "rockstar" and then we went to the other floors and saw what they were doing and then made fun of them (very Christian of us!)

sat. night I went to this comedy show where one of the guys from Bones was hosting, went with a friend of mine who directs that show and then got invited to another cast members big party next weekend, so psyched.

learned that my ex-BF from like 2 years ago "has let himself go and has gotten really fat." what 27 year old guy can get fat? huh? why is it good to hear these things.

big week this week pitching to 3 networks, have my MTV bible due and need to finsih my movie pitch. Waiting for a call from a friend of the girl who the MTV show is about to tell me all about her and what she's REALLY like, swear!

so i'm a little hungover from my date which is surprising as i only had 3 beers and yesterday i drank 1 gallon of water! huh, weird.

anyway, we went to 3rd stop, sat out side, he was late (he said he had to help a girl in his building who ran out of gas in the parking lot) not sure i believe the "i am late becaue i helped a damsel in distress" story cause this is LA and people like to tell stories. i also say this because he called me at 8:23 to say he was going to be 10 mins late, IF he in fact did come across a girl who had no gas in her car at 8:23 i imagine he woudl assume he's going ot be more than 20 mins late, THEN if he came across her at 810pm he would've called then and said hey i'm going to be 10 mins late. sooo you see, i've dealt with late people before, i used to be a late person and it's annoying for those who aren't late (now I realize I have been late just as recently as tues night meeting Remi (10 mins late) but the hollywood bowl had a show how was i to know...

anyway, i know i'm being too picky and i got an email from him saying he had a good time so i'll prob. go out with him again! hopefully in the meantime (since I have network pitches next week and can't go out seeing as 3 beers ruins me) i hope disappearing act guy calls.

SHOUT OUT TO REMI AND CARRIE FOR GIVING ME SUPER CUTE FLIP FLOPS THAT I WORE ON THE DATE LAST NIGHT....

just got back from my date... i think it went well, i think he liked me, i mean i'm not sure i liked him, he's v. v. v. v. nice, but i'm not sure if I liked him enough. Grrr, i wish it was easier.

oh and he drove me home and in the car shook my hand as i got out but i think he was about to maybe pull me in closer for a kiss (this is PURE SPECULATION) but i hit the eject button and it's weird... i dont htink i wanted to kiss him. GRRRRR i hate dating!!!

here's how this is going to end

I just read this on CNN. it's a story about a giuy who killed his wife cause her medical expenses were so high.this is how i will die eventually

why do i feel like this is going to happen to me! I was online at bank of america and over the next 8 months (i have set up my own payment plan to all my doctors) approx: $2500 is going out of the account to pay for all my medical probs. this year. OY!

cedars keeps calling saying "um, you only sent a check for $70..." I guess they want me to put the entire balance on my credit cards, but they can suck it cause they're lucking they're getting $70 a month in the first place! but they're like "i'm trying to help you and i dont understand what you mean by a payment plan" and I'm like "it's whats more conventinet for me!" and then i hang up.

anwyway, i'm supposed to have a date tonight with this guy... we'll call him teddie. it's a sort of set up and i've actully met him before so we'll see. I haven't heard from him today so who knows.

i'm going to email the disappearing act guy back today. let's see what happens...

could you run 7KM dressed as a gorilla?

well, i will be finding out if i can on september 22 in london!! i just bought a ticket, i said fuck it, i need a vacay, and if people need to meet with me the 6 business days i'm gone, they can suck it and i'll just say i'm gong to london on business. Which won't be a lie as i'm going to set up meetings over there with productoin companies b/c they love american tv writers there! woo hoo! so i'm psyched!!!!!! because this time next year maybe i'll be moving there to write tv shows for hte BBC!! YOU NEVER KNOW!! the great gorilla run

anyway, i'm doing this run to raise money for gorillas (please donate 20 bucks when I ask) and 1000 people do it and are dressed in gorilla costumes you get for the price of admission! I'M SO PSYCHED!! it's going to be a great way to meet people b/c afterwards they have a big drink up and i'm going to meet and kiss many english lads who will be enamored by me and my sense of adventure!!!

OMG

HEY FINALLY FUCKING EMAILED AFTER 2 WEEKS!!! HOLY CRAP AND NOW HE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH ME!!! HUH? WHAT?

parental trip

went to catalina on friday morn with my parents. I do not like beach destinations, mostly because I live in LA and it's sunny and 75 ALL YEAR so going to the beach is like being here... that being said, i agreed to go to this island as my parents really wanted to. at the beach, i sat dumbfounded trying to understand this culture of people who like to just sit and sit and sit in the sun. I am irish for one and cannot tolerate the sun even with SPF 45 being applied every hour. I also find it soo freakin' boring. i just cant sit and do nothing. I literally watched these peopel who seemed like they were having fun, sure they were drinking and i wasn't but still what is fun about the bbeach? it's a complete and total mystery to me COMPLETE AND TOTAL MYSTERY AMIGOS!!

my mom and i rented a tandem kayak and kayaked for about an hour on saturday around the boats and into the different coves, that was fun. whenever my friend amy and i go to a destination, we always end up kayaking and then we realize we hate kayaking, this happens every time we go away. we forget how much we hate kayaking each and every time. but i had to do something other than just sit on the beach again. it was fun looking at the boat names.

oh and the entire trip my parents wer elike He's cute, talk to him, the captain of the boat is cute (not cute BTW and like 20), my dad picked out this really tan guy wearing a sleeveless shirt on the beach, i told him he was too tan, my dad said i'm too picky, i said "him being so tan indicates to me that he likes to go to the beach, A LOT! and i do not AT ALL so we dont have common interests. If I saw a guy on a motorcycle i'd think the same thing about him, he engages in high risk behavior that I do no like."

i also asked my parents if they thought I should become a nun. I am clearly trying to figure out what i'm doing with my life, like everyoen i know, but i finally had some clarity that I should become a nun to which my mother said " you woudln't make a very good nun!!!!!" i was like clarify "you would be great at anything you'd do, but you'd be bored as a nun and also they tel you what to do and when to do it and you dont like that" my dad told me they'd make me clean toilets... that was enough to get me off that dream....

fran and jack came yesterday (those are my parents, i never call them such except behind their back) I picked up sammies from Joan's on 3rd and some veggies and we enjoyed a nice lunch and then went on a hike to runyon canyon. It was SLOOOOW GOING! i am usually done with the hike in like 30 mins and this took us a little over an hour.

it's weird to realize your parents are old.

anyway, then we had dinner at a vietnemese restaurant in my neighborhood and took a walk around robertson, that was fun and then headed back to my place where they both fell asleep on my couch. they're staying in my room so i kicked them off the couch so i coudl go to sleep at 11PM, i never go to sleep that early.

got up eeearrrrllly this a.m. and my mom and i went to the grocery to get cows milk (i only have soy) and some cereal more to their liking (who doesn't like honey nut cheerios?) and then hit up the coffee bean for some scones and coffee and headed back to eat b'fast (i hate people who stay with me who like to eat all the time, jeez! what's wrong with a little thing of yogurt for dinner?)

and now i'm working at the guild and heading with them to catalina tomorrow. my dad booked a 830am boat, which means because they'll want to eat b'fast before we leave, we'll have to get up around 6am (oh did i mention they're neurotic about leaving for things HOURS before you need to?!?!?!)

donations

I have brought over the past 5 months, approximately 9 bags of stuff to be donated to good will. If you have come to my apartment, you can't help but notice it's empty. When the door was found open the other day the girl said she couldn't tell if I had anything stolen because i didn't have anything to begin with.

i decided when I dropped off another load this morning (of stuff i didn't want when I unpacked but couldn't take to the drop off place until i was allowed to pick up stuff) and on my way i thought I hope whatever thing that has been giving me bad luck was in that bag that I just got rid of. I think I might just get rid of everythign I own and start anew and then whatever thing I have that's causing me all this stress and bad luck will be gone.... unless a spell has been put on me then... well then i'm not sure what i'm going to do. That would make me sad as i always fancied myself a friend of those in the witch and wizard world... I MEAN I LOVE HARRY POTTER!!

My parents are on their way to visit me. It's only their 2nd time in 11 years, i think the talk of me not believing in God back in May had something to do with it. Don't worry, my children, I am back on the God train. ALL ABOARD!!


The security guard just talked to me again this morning, and this is the line he opened up with "So, the news is crazy."

uh, ok. and he went on to explain what he meant. something about TV news. GRRRR

HAPPY 1 MONTH ANNIVERSARY

TO MY APPENDIX FREE BODY.

dont worry i wont be celebrating it every month, i just realized today was the 7th and decided to mention it.

anyway, i think i have become more ornery since my appendix was removed, i wonder if my appendix made me nice and now without it, i'm an angry bitch.

it's weird that people at the Writers guild all know my name and i know nobodys name. Like one woman today saw me pick up variety and then called my name and was like I ripped something out of there. And I was like " you know my name? how is that possible? I have never ever heard ur name before." naturally i didn't say anything like that

but the security guards all know my name and all the other people here know my name and the reason I know a few peoples names is because i sign in and see who is there and if tere are only like 3 people through deductive reasoning I figure out their names but other than that, no idea who they are... see i'm a bitch. i guess my appendix was the nicest part of me after all.

and another thing

so i was at my friends house tonight just aksing his advice and lamenting about my current job sitch and bad day and he said "at least your not so and so, she has it really bad!"

why do people do that? when i was growing up, i was sick a lot and i'd be like "i have a sore throat" and my mom would always say "so do I." and then another time I'd be like "i have the flu" and she'd be like "so do I" WHAT? NO U DONT!!??

why do people have to always tell u they've or soemone they know has it worse. why aren't we allowed to be disatisfied with our lives. or frustrated or exhausted? who wants to hear about someone elses problems when they're having a crap day?

yes, i've been to Africa, i've been to guatamala I've seen poverty and struggle and yes I realize i have it preeeetttty nice compared to them, but still can't i please be annoyed at my life when shit happens? fuck!

TOP 5 BAD LUCK I HAD TODAY

1. my gym membership that I had been getting for free for the past year was discovered and now i'm not getting it for free. so now i have to join another gym. the gymi want to join that is super cheap and good and i have a few friends who go there is on beverly, but there are other people who go there who i dont want to see... what to do, i mean the price is right... well it's not free but it's pretty close.

2. my friend was right about my blind script deal, it's a total fucking bullshit hoax, thanks to my agents who didn't inform me of that. so i guess i just need to sell this pilot.

3. my MTV deal is a fucking joke and my agents dont think i should take it.

4. someone came into my apartment today and then proceeded to leave the door wide open ALL DAY! yeah, my neighbor was like "your door was open all day." I have no idea who came in seeing as no one was authorized to do so. and nothing was taken sooooo it's weird. but still the door was open all day. this happened to my neighbor yesterday so when she saw my door open today she called the cops and they hung out tonight in my apartment. I live 1 block from bev hills in a safe neighborhood so it's weird.

5. i got invited to a party for my very good friends new baby and he writes on a show with my old writing partner and she is getting invited to the party too and i think it's going to be awkward to see her for the first time in 5 years at this party.

pfffttt. i need to go to bed before anything else happens today.

annoyed

well i am annoyed today and for so many reasons:

1. the boy never called, so i'm utterly confused about why he called and asked me out only to unask me out and then neve3r contact me again. why call me in the first place?

2. I'm annoyed at peopple who say things like "you still get tired from your surgery?" yeah, IT'S CALLED A RECOVERY FOR A REASON. like i'm making it up that i get wiped out easily... i sent an email to my friend a week and a half ago (only 2.5 weeks after the surgery) saying i might not be able to go to her cabin for the weekend cause i was so tired and she coudn't believe that after 2.5 weeks i'd still be tired... um, okay, i had a fucking pussy infected appendix in my body you dumb ass. thankfully she's pregnant so 2.5 weeks after her giving birth i'm going to say "huh, i ddin't think you'd still be so tired from giving birth." i'm a bitch. and then someone else said "well it's not like it was a major surgery.." yeah, it wasn't open heart surgery agreeed, but I guess every surgery is minor surgery EXCEPT WHEN IT HAPPENS TO YOU. it's not like i had a fucking mole removed.

3. i got a deal with a studio back in march and haven't gotten paid yet. this wouldn't be a big deal except this weekend my friend said "oh my agent said that if you dont' sell a pilot they dont have to pay you under your deal." so now im freaking out cause i'm fucked if i dont get paid.

4. i'm annoyed at having to be annoyed at all these people.

where is the love?

no idea what i said to this boy to make him break out date and never call me again. literally our conversation lasted maaaaaaayyybbbeee 15 mins and apparentlly i said something that he must have thought about over the next 2 hours that cuased him to call and cancel the date, claiming illness (do not use that when you're not sick, being a constanly infirmed person I am offended) and then saying he'd call the next day to reschedule and never calling. why even pretend, why do the whole song and dance of "hey when are you avail this week?, WHY EVEN CALL ME IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE?! next time dont tell your friend that sure you'll go out with me!!

what the fuck is wrong with men???!! why do they do all this? someone please answer me that

BOY UPDATE: I JUST CHECKED HIS MYSPACE PAGE (OH YEAH I DID) AND HE SIGNED IN TODAY WHICH MEANS HE'S NOT DEAD, WHICH IF HE WERE I'D FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT ME GOING OFF ON HIS INSENSITIVE BEHAVIOR, BUT NOW IT'S JUSTIFIED AND I WISH I COULD DO MORE.

I just filled out an application for the "low income discount rate" for my electricity bill in LA. yes, i totally qualify seeing as I've made very very little money this year which is strange considering I signed a contract with a major studio in march and have yet to see a dime. I told my agent last week that he needed to get me paid a certain amount so i can earn enought to be elligible for health insurance in 2008. he said he was on it. Really it's not asking to much to get 1/3 of my contracted earnings in a 6 month period is it??

I next plan to file for food stamps, unfortuantely, they dont work at jenny craig which i'm starting up again on wednesday. sure i lost a ton of weight after my surgery but now i want to keep it off!!

so the boy who i wanted to ask me out called today and asked me out. and we talked for a litle while as i was driving to a hike (not really supposed to be working out yet, buuuuut this was walking and my surgeon said i could walk and he didn't say i couldn't walk uphill) anyway, he called and asked me out for tonight and i said yes and then he said he'd come get me and we'd go to a restaurant near me, and he does in fact live downtown (see previous post) soooo that's a big commitment to come up here. so i went on my hike and was excited and nervous and didn't really think about what i shoudl wear since i can only wear skirts still. so my options are limited.

so, on my drive back from hiking he called and bailed! FUCK!

he said he got sick suddenly. uh, yeah, sure. He was all nervous I didn't believe him and he said he called his best girl friend and left a message on her VM asking if she'd believe a guy if he called and un asked her out 2 hours after asking her out. I was like it's ok, and he asked me what he thought of his message bailing, and i didn't know waht else to say other than "i was like I hope he feels better" i mean if he is sick, i'm a bitch for being like Never call me again and then if he isn't then yes, i look gullible.

he said he'd resched. for monday or tues. i said "sure." we shall see if he calls.

so instead i went to the movies with bernadette to this piece ofshit stupid ass movie called sunshine. DO NOT SEE IT, IT'S STUPID AND MAKES NO SENSE.

SO I'm supposed to be allegedly going out with a cute boy. we emailed like 2 emails last week (i met him on a show meeting a few months ago) did i already talk about him?

anyway, i just found him on myspace and hes put a lot of work into his myspace. oh and he's 29. i'm 33. maybe he found me on myspace and didn't like what he saw... and htat's why i haven't heard from him in a few days, he dropped off the planet.

anyway, i do judge a little from your myspace. anyone in your late 20 early 30s myspacing like mad seems to me to be a little.... mad. in the head that is. is that judgemental of me? why do we myspae in the first place, JUST SEND ME A FUCKING EMAIL.

instead you send me a message on mysapce, then myspace sends me an email saying hey you got a message on myspace, so then i have3 to go sign into myspace (after having already signing into my email) then get your message. seems like there's an extra step in there.

back to the original story. so he's all myspaced out with videos and pics of his dogs who he loves (i hate dogs since Jen malone's bit me in the face 7 years ago) and i think he might live downtown. for anyone who does not live in LA, downtown is not like NYC. it's gross and dirty and we have more homeless people who are mentally ill and on drugs (also see sicko) than any other city: i don't go down town.

my friends in la have said in the past "i dont get it, you'll go to fucking africa and travel all over the world but you are scared of downtown LA." the answer is simple: yes!

i will update you on whether or not he has the balls to email me since i sent him a funny email and clearly intimidated him 5 days ago.

what ho!

today was good, intense, hard, scary, fun., full of self doubt, tiring... how all in one day, welcome to hollywood. this morning i woke up early after having gone to bed late b/c i was practicing my pitch and writing and then nervous so not sleeping well. i semi pitched a movie based on a book to a movie producer at the 4 seasons... hello it's walking distnace from my new love pad, 2 blocks, 3 min. walk... felt v. new york.

ok so i went and din't really know what i was doing seeing as I had never pitched a movie before. I mean i can pitch a tv show or at least know how its supposed to be pitched comfortably, but this... an entirely diff. being. so i showed up with all the questoins she had asked me (i had the answers) and i knew i did ok, but i left and she had another meeting there (again, welcome to hollywood, i naeively thought i'd be the only one pitching... HA!) i ran into another snarky tv comedy writer on my way out, her way in and she said she had a meeting.. hmmmm. anyway movie producer called me this afternoon and was like "oh we ended the meeting and i forgot to tell you the next step" which i guess means I got it... now dont think that i got anything, i just made it to stage 2, the 2nd week of the audition as in every reality show.

so now i have to work my ass off and come up with a pitch... you do all this work weeks and weeks and may not have anything to show for it (read: MONEY) but you still need to do it. suck. cause i could use this time to write something else, but you have to take the chance and you know what, i think i can do this, i mean i have no idea really how to structure a movie, but i have friends who do.

so i walked home from the 4 seasons and sat on my couch and then went to target and bought the following: a microwave, a lamp, a lampshade (v. grown up looking), cleaning supplies, a mop that i just used and realized is broken.. grrr, sponges, a garbage can for my kitchen, bucket, etc. i spent $200 so the massage that i was thinking of getting was out of the question.

oh i finsihed harry potter last night... SO FUCKING GOOD!!

apartment living

what's fun about living in an apartment surrounded by more apartment buildings: hearing people have sex. that's what i'm doing right now. I wish I could figure out where it's coming from, i suspect it's the same people who were at it 2 nights ago around this same time. i'mnot sure if it's my building but it certainly sounds like it. it's not the people upstairs as i can hear them walk around as i type... am i thinking way too much about this?! i fear that to be the case.

oh wait, i think i can confirm it's coming from upstairs. geez, now what happens when i meet these people.

oh and i have 3 dates that i know of coming up! unfortunatly i can't do one a day 4 days in a row b/c i get so wiped out easily from this stupid surgery. grrrr. oh and i realized that i have yet to get the bill from my surgeon and anathesiologist, which will run about anohter 11 grand. sweet!

freaking out

so i am freaking out cause i'm convinced everyone at the agency that represents me hates me (the fight i had yesterday) b/c i've emailed 2 of the agents today re: business questions and neither one has responded...

i wonder when they started not to like me anymore.. strange seeing as I have 2 deals and i'm making money for them (allegedly if i were to get paid)... imagine how much they treat people who dont make money for them

phases

every couple of months i g o thorugh a phase where everyone pisses me off and there's a ton of miscommunicatoin and every one is mad at me. Right now I'm mad at 2 people who shall remain namelss, they dont troll the board but they are mid profile people in this town...

one is a person giving me notes on one of my projects. We will call this person Terry. I am tery's dream writer, i never ask questoins, i always hit it out of the park, but yesterday I asked terry one questoin about a note and terry fucking gave me so much fucking attitude I felt like I was a mom dealing with an eye rolling, gum snapping 12 year old girl who i just told couldn't go out with a boy to the movies. THAT MUCH ATTITUDE.

then i just told off someone... can't really elaborate but i have had a b'fast schedule d with someone and it's been resched no less than 5 times and one time I had to do it CAUSE I JUST HAD SURGERY!! so i went off on this person's asst. and might have derailed my career in the process... oops, but it is deserved. i swear.

fox TCA

last night i went to the FOX televisioin critics party. It was awesome. it was at the santa monica pier and my friend and I went on the rollercoaster and played games. I saw the entire cast of house, most of the cast from bones, the cast of the brad garrett sitcom. Keifer sutehrland was mobbed and pinned in the corner by a bunch of tv critics. the event is bascially for FOX to kiss the asses of the tv critics so they'll favorably review their shows. all the networks do it, but i just wanted to go to the fox one to see my tv boyfriend.

i ate carnival food (cotton candy, etc) and won a basketball!! my friend beat me at this other game and won a krusty the clown stuffed animal. but i'm glad i won the b-bal cause i sorta needed one. I wore a v. cute dress and heels (wedge heels)

STAR SIGHTINGS

yesterday at the coffee bean in bev hills, I saw renee zwellegger. She is super super skinny, like ridiculous. and she talks like a baby. HELLO YOU'RE A GROWN WOMAN. what also annoyed me was how the employees there were like "do you want a carrier for your drinks" do you need this do you need that? anything esle, anything to eat? SERVICE I DO NOT GET FYI!!

then this morning at the coffee bean near my house I saw Kristin Chenoweth from the west wing and from Wicked, cause i loved her in wicked. Anyway, she too is skin and bones!! And she's so tiny that I looked like a monster standing next to her.

WHO WANTS TO GUESS HOW MUCH AN APPENDECTOMY COSTS!!!!

ACCORDING TO MY CEDARS SINAI ONLINE STATEMENT (I WAS ON FOR MY COLONOSCOPY BILL) AND THEY HAVE MY SURGERY LISTED

SO FAR THE TOTAL IS.... $70,000 FOR MY 2 NIGHT/3 DAY HOSPTIAL STAY AND SURGERY

oh and to make it more interesting I gave my insurance card in the ER, i gave my insurance card to the hospital (after being admitted) and guess what, the cedars billing dept. say I'm a self paying person with no insurance. ahh. so the adventure begins with insrance. glad i had my insurance card on me, lot of good it did me!

so like i said when i was in the hospital pieces of my lung collapsed. I just read an article in a very sophisticated magazine People, about a girl who invented a device that helps kids in hosptials after surgeries strenghthen their lung by shooting marhsmallows. Now that I know how scary it can be to lose lung capacity (and i will know more when I'm allowed to run again in a few weeks) I wanted to post the site if anyone wanted to make a donation.

www.kelseyskids.org

sounds like a great organization.

my meeting went very well yesterday, i think i got the job, now i'm nervous that i can't do the job! we shall see...

the person in question was very well put together, very nice, pitched a few things. all in all it was fun.

last night i went to a party for the season 2 premiere of who wants to be a superhero. due to my health i could ony stay for like an hour, but enough time to say hello to the people who invited me and introduce my friend who is a huge comic book guy to the all time comic book guy in the history of comic books who I know because of this project.

wow, i only live like 1.5 miles from the wrtiers guild, my commute was 6 minutes! That is going to save me $$ on gas which is good since my rent more than doubled i need that savings somewhere. I guess I could just stay at hoome and work from my office, but that will get lonely if i did that every day. at least at the writers guild lounge i occasionaly run into friends. i'm not getting my tv hooked up until the tv season starts up again in the fall, so last night i actually worked in my office!! love having an office!

so i'm off the antibiotics they gave me for my surgery and they dont really allow you to sleep, so i haven't been getting a ton of sleep as a result, but last night my first day off I went to bed at 1030pm and slept until 830am. guess i needed it because i started working again and i've got a lot going on. eek

nothing else to report except I've lost like 7 pounds since my surgery and put on a shirt this morning that had been in storage the entire time and it's falling off me! sexy time!

i like to go to the best but didn't.

Just read on the aOL homepage that cedars sinai the hospital where i got my surgery last week is 17th in the country with UCLA as #3. Oops, guess I should've gone there. Although i had such a sweet set up at cedars and everyone (except one nurse) was amazing.

oh and before i forget, tomorrow I'm meeting with a certain someone to talk about a project. dont' want to type anything that could be found on google, so let's just say before I was born my parents lived in Paris...










here are pics of my new apt. sorry about the not having furniture. it;s getting there. love the hardwood floors.

ok so i dont know what order thess are in, so i'll just write about my tv being swallowed by the wall, dont worry the big hutch i have by the dining room table is going to move where the tv stand is now so it wont get so swallowed. i'm going to get an area rug for the living room and move the pottery barn rug there now under the dining room table (thanks for carrie frymer for coming up with that ingenius plan)






my beds not made but i can't make it right now since i'm infirmed. or at least that's what i like to think. the built in bookshelves are my fave, sorry it's turned to the side, i'm too lazy to fix it. i have a patio (not accessible directly from the apt, but you just exit my door and it's right there) so it would be perfect as a smoking patio, if i still smoked (i never realllly smoked to begin with, but gave it up for new years and glad i did as it slows your recovery from surgery!)

i love my new pad

my new pad rules. it really really does! I love it so much i miss it right now. i'm at the writers guild thinking about why im' not working in the office at my new apt. it's huge, i'll take pics, but so far 4 of my friends have given it their seal of approval.

carrie and danielle came over yester. afternoon to help me unpack since I can't really lift anything significant. so a lot of stuff is already put away. and remi and carrie came over and brought wine and gifts for me!!! and we ordered yummy pizza and drank and talked about how great my apt. is!!! hehehehe!!

I LOOOOVE IT! I can't believe I didn't move out of bruno's years ago, what was I thinking. I LOVE LIVING ALONE IN MY SUPER AWESOME PAD!!!!

if life hands you lemons... but what if you are a lemon

If you live in cali, you have heard the following commericial on the radio, if not we have a dealership called Toyota of Orange that has this jingle: Chorus: "No you won't get a lemon!" Extremely Enthusiastic guy: "I WOULDN'TA GOT A LEMON? ...

so i've started to reflect on my current situtaion, no not the being unemployed, single and homeless one, my health crisis. and i'm starting to think that my parents should've gotten me at toyota of orange so as not to have gotten a lemon. I am a lemon, not me per se, but my body is a lemon. I'm not going to list all my ailments that have lead me to believe this, but i'll give just this years examples:

I had 3 colon pollyps and had to have them removed by colonoscopy, a diagnosis which tends to befall men in their 50s. my doctor even said it's rare someone my age would have them

then the appendicitis in july. AND THAT'S JUST 2007.

i wont go into 2004 when they thought i had a brain tumor in my pituitary gland becausse I stopped having my period for 9 months and didn't produce a baby.

or in 1999 when I had e. coli and was so sick that i couldn't go out for an entire year because if i went out, i'd get a cold for 2 weeks and then becasue the e coli went on so long i developed asthma. and I'm leaving out the parasite from africa and the gallstone i have living inside me. even my surgeon on saturday night after having reviewed my file and all my medical problems told me I'm a mess. he said that when we go in it's going to be interesting as they're not 100% sure what they'll be taking out as a result of my colitis, polycystic ovarian syndrome and gallstone and probable appendicits.

so yeah, i'm starting to think i must be a lemon.

on the bright side i have great friends and a great sonicare toothbrush.

while i was in surgery

at literaly the exact moment of my surgery, this is what my friends were doing outside of the hosptial as they happened to be wasted at a bar across the street (with drew barrymore whos not in the picture)

please notice they're all grabbing the wrong side of the belly

so much better

today is a good day. yesterday i wokep up and still felt very shitty and ate a lot of percoset. i took a nap and just layed around. apprently that is the exact opposite of what i'm supposed to be doing. i talked to my surgeon and he yelled at me for napping and also wouldn't =change my anti biotic perscription. anyway, so i got out and walked for 45 mins and then walked again later that night for 15 mins. and then today i woke up feeling great! i'm serious. so today i've already walked and met a friend for lunch, i only ate one egg white and a piece of toast (ive totally lost like 4 pounds)

i'm going to walk to kristin's today about 2 miles round trip to get my drivers license which is in my car and i need to get onto warner bro studios tonight as i'm going to see HARRY POTTER!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!

my friend amy is coming too as i need a chauffer as i'm not allowed to drive until friday. also big news, i took myself off percoset today, i'm on acetominphen, basical tylenol.

i have a very busy couple of days coming up as i have to pick up a parking permit for my new neighborhood in order to park there on sunday night and guest passes as christie is gonna be in town and stay next weekend. oh and i need to get the lights turned on! must have that happen too.

ok, i've had the worst couple of days. I'll keep it real brief for now as I'm drugged and eshausted. I had an emergency appendectomy at 11PM saturday night. It was the most pain i have ever had. will fill in details later. then this morning around 5am my temp. shot up crazy high apparently due to a parial lung collapse... SAY WHAT? yeah, pieces of my lung had collapsed which is common after surgery i guess. I wasn't doing enough lung excercises, even though i was (remy and carrie saw me doing them immediatey after I got out of surgery sunday at 1am.) They rocked and hung out until like 3am talking to me which was so amazingly nice since I was still freaked out from having surprise major surgery.

anyway, i was released tonight and i'm staying at my friend greg and amy's who are taking good care of me and even cooked me dinner and put water by my bed! so sweet. okay, i'll fill in all the details tomorrow as I can't really do anythig other than lie in bed and occassionally walk around to avoid another lung collapse. p.s. if you talk to my parents do not mention the lung thing, i happened to leave that out as my mother would have fallen over dead if she heard it!1

last night i saw the nmovie evening. it was boring and not very good. sorry meryll streep.

i stayed over at carrie's cause i'm house sitting and i brought some laundry. she has a kick ass machine. I'm going to be very sad when I dont have private laundry facilities.

the old roomate asked me to come get my mail becauswe "it's accumulating." so i thought, sure, it's been 3 weeks since my last mail pick up and if he's emailing me, there must be a ton of mail! so i drive up there and the door was open and the actor and his fiancee were there with friends playing a game andi didn't say hi cuase they annoy me, but they had tied the mail onto the door, and i coujldn't get it off so they heard me and i ran away. so i think to myself, this bag is light for mail that has been "accumulating," so i get it to carrie's house and open the bag and it contains the following: 1 brochure from my mutual fund and 3 envelopes. THAT'S ACCUMULATING??!?!?

i drove all the way up there for that? he's so annoying! 4 pieces of fucking mail!! the last time it was a huge pile and i emailed him about it, this time he initiates it and tghere's nothing! I HATE HIM!

today was just one of those annoying days. I had to get up early (815am gasp) and head to my storage unit. actually not mine, but my friend jeff's. I had my movers from a couple of weeks ago clear out jeff's unit, drive it to his fam's new house then drove to their old house and picked up really nice furniture for me to move into their storage unit until i move next weekend. Then i got the bad news that my movers couldn't move me next weekend so i had to track down other, MORE EXPENSIVE ones. they coul move me fri (can't move in that early) or monday, but if you've ever driven from the valley into LA on a week day morn, you know it's not a fun trip. So early next sunday at 7am I'm meeting my movers at my now TWO storage units to empty them both out to move into my apt. MY NEW APT!! i also got a couch and coffee table and dining set for the new place too on monday that i ordered!! i'm so fucking psyched!!!

anyway jeff and his wife (my old bossses) gave me some seriously sweet shit, they spare no expense on their stuff so i got an awesome desk (that was in their 4 year olds room but still, it's nice) a handpainted credenza that will match my couch perfectly, a beauru that might actually be used as an entertainment center, 2 really sweet night stands (now i can get rid of the one i had been using, stacey u know the one, i actualy might use it for an end table for the time being) a solid lamp, and a desk chair! and these awesome storage bins that were under the desk. i'll take pics of my new place as soon as i move in sunday week.

but the gross thing about my movers which is why i'm actually glad i'm getting new ones is the guy who runs the business. he kept hugging me last time I hired them and hitting on me, well this morning, he hugged me a lot, SUCKLED ON MY NECK!!!!! SERIOUSLY and grabbed my FUCKING ASS!! then put his arms around me while i was walking in front of him and buried his head into the back of my neck (all this behavior was repeated throughout the entire 3 hours) so even though these other movers will probably be costing me $200 more than the regular ones, at least i wont be getting a little raped!

oh and then i came back to kristin's and completely cleaned her fridge she's giving me for my new place. like it was disgusting and been in her garage for 3 years, I hope it actually still works. so i had to clean it before i move it next week, oh yeah, my movers will have to drive to her place (on the way actually) to pick up the fridge and load that in to!! sunday the 15th is going to SUUUUUUUCK!!

oh and now the teeth that the denstist was trying to get a closer look at vis a vis the dentist debaucle of my last post ARE FUCKING HURTING!!! how is that possible! he was lookig for something b/c he asked that those teeth get a new picture specifically and now the teeth hurt even though he said all clear after seeing it! I HAVEN'T RECIEVED A PAY CHECK IN 19 MONTHS!! I CAN'T HAVE A DENTAL NIGHTMARE!!

i had a fit at the dentist the other day. basically i'm a bitch. if i think someone is not as smart as me, i have no patience with them, who do i think i am? the woman who does the xrays with this new machine that shows them digitally IMMEDIATELY was trying to get this one root and it wasn't working and she kept taking them over and over and over and over, 6 times and finally i said "uh, what is going on? I'm freaking out about the amount of radiation. and i insisted she stop. then she said i get more radiation from the sun and I said I never go in the sun and she siad it's barely any radiation and it's not like i get alot any way and then i said well, every single household electronic emits radiation, so in fact, on top of the amount i got sitting there i'm also getting it from everythign around us all day long every day! she went and tattled on the dentist and then i said I will take one more if she can fucking do it right (did not use fucking) but still, (at this point she had already taken 4 more)

so she readjusted it again and got it, and i left in a total huff, probably glowing radioactively as i exited. i just got annoyed because she just seemed dumb and like i said, i'm a superior bitch.