a lesson in hyphenates

last may I worked on a pilot for NBC. studios and networks often ask writers they've worked with in the past to write for a few days on a new tv pilot to make it funnier or better etc in exchange for no pay. it's a pretty great system. (sarcasm) usually you get sent something as a thank you. In the past, AKA the hey day, they would send you freakin TVs and game systems... this year I worked on some ABC pilot I got AND I'M NOT KIDDING! a freaking got headphones from SONY. not like nice BOSe ones, just plain old headphones that do nothing special except phone your head.

so i decided i'd get what I want out of this pilot BS. So like i said last year, I worked on a pilot and met this super cute writer guy who said he was also an actor... this is what we in the biz call a hyphenate meaning they dont have a job doing one thing so they say like 10 things they could possibly want to do and thats what they tell you is their career. so this is how these typical conversations go with a hyphenate.

me: so what do you do?
them: I'm a writer-actor-director

example #2
me: so what do you do?
them: I'm a yoga instructor-actor-life coach

example #3
me: so what do you do?
them: I'm an actor-producer-pro surfer

i could go on and on. anyway, i met the hypenate actor-writer-director at this pilot last year, and he was super cute AND he had a pilot at NBC himself, so he was an actual writer... who had a girlfriend. but he told me he was going to set me up with his friends (i'm guessing also hyphenates) and we parted ways. a few weeks later, he emailed me and told me he hadn't forgotten and was still thinking about the right guy... i mean this never happens even with guys who are interested in me, let alone guys who aren't interested, yet are interested in me for their buddies. ok, so i never heard from him after that, but tonight i'm watching the premiere of house and im like HOW DO I KNOW THAT GUY, HE'S def. dating a friend of mine, so during the premiere, i'm scrolling through all my friends whose boyfriends i've met recently and its driving me crazy. first i'm like I go out way too much and thats when it hit me. He's Andrew the hypenate and he had like this huge role on House!

so the lesson learned is sometimes (but very very rarely, like seeing a sloth move rarely) hyphenates DO have careers. See? Oprah was right, you can learn a lesson out of everything. I hope you're writing this stuff down.