ok, wow i haven't updated in a while, so much has happeend,

I went as one of the golden girls for halloween with 3 other of my friends, quite a succesful out, except this one guy who was dressed as Jesus and was excited that i was bea arthur because he used to masturbate to bea arthur growing up! The first time I ever ran away from a boy! he followed me everywhere, hilarious.

ive pitched a show to Disney channel and re-pitching tomorrow, I met to be a writer on the Jonas brosther show, but didn't get it, probably because my car broke down a mile away from the the building and i had to walk the rest of the way there!

I met on another show that shoots in montreal, meet again tomor.

I pitched other ideas to Lionsgate, they want to do it, but the producer they attached to the project doesn't, so now thats in limbo.

My boyfriend moved here from NYC, so that's been fun!

I went on a 3 week cleanse and now I dont eat proccessed foods or wheat, soy, dairy, eggs, sugar, gluten, and anything else really! clean living is the way to go for sure, been doing it for 6 weeks and loving it! I messed up this weekend, stupid holiday parties and today I woke up feeling like death, just goes to show you you are wha tyou eat!!

I got rejected from another business school that I re-applied to... i'm starting to give up hope for anything to work out!

BUT... i'm leaving for australia for 3 weeks in 10 freakin days!!!!! WOOO HOOOOO

I leave on the 24th land on the 26th and it's offcially a year with out Christmas, which is apropraite given the shitty year it's been!

TOP 10 THINGS I LOVE (5 more to come later)

10. boxing - if you're ever in need of a new workout because you're bored with your old, try boxing. not only is it changing my body (my arms are actually starting to have muscle definition!) but also you're happiness. i'm on a natural high for 48 hours after i box. it's amazing and it's a great release getting to punch things really hard over and over for an hour. also i do crazy amounts of sit ups so my gut is also changing.

9. Hello kitty - last week I went to a hello kitty convention in LA in celebration of 35 y ears of hello kitty. I got a t-shirt, iphone cover and new change purse, all adorned with my favorite cheery kitty.

8. my sirius satelite radio - i love listening to howard stern all day and all night long!

7. Katsuya - this LA sushi place is legendary, it's so freaking good. You've never had sushi prepared in such amazing ways that blend different tastes all in one amazing dish. Its a party for your palate. They've expanded into a variety of arenas - dont be fooled by the one in hollywood or brentwood, they've taken the name, but not the recipes or the sushi chef talent. No, the ones you need to go to are the Katsuysas on 3rd, in studio city, or encino.

6. the smell of whatever the woman sitting next to me is eating - i know that's random, but it's from whole foods and it smells amazing. It looks like some sort of black bean soup, which just so happens to be my favorite food that i LOVE! My mother makes a great black bean soup, must get that recipe. Although black bean soup shares my favorite food honor alongside mashed potatoes. Although I really only eat mashed potatoes on thanksgiving, or at Jones in hollywood which has wasabi mashed potatoes that are to die for, but again, i only get there like once a year.

TOP TEN THINGS I HATE AND/OR THAT PISS ME OFF

10. Garrey - you dont know him, but he works at the WGA and annoys the fuck out of me, just seeing his name on the writers lounge sign in sheet and i'm like, ugh fuck, i hate that guy. He's just creepy and annoying and therefore I hate him.

9. my life - yes, i hate my life. I'm miserable right now. Actually this very second i'm not miserable as I boxed this morning and that does wonders for my euphoria!!! but typically, i hate my life. I could stay in bed alllll day and no one would ever know. NO ONE is expecting me to be anywhere EVER!! I am fully aware that people who have jobs can't possibly even in the slightest comprehend hating not having anything to do during the day, but believe you me after 4 years of it (give or take a few months where I was on a show or writing pilots etc) you'd be going bat shit crazy yourself.

8. Candy Corn.... because I love it soooo much and I can't stop myself from eating those delicious candy corn pumpkins of goodness and so I hate it.

7. My wardrobe - my clothes either don't fit because they're not the right size (i can't seem to order clothes correctly as I keep ordering them too big) or they're falling apart b.c I'm too lazy to go buy new ones. I have so many other things I need to buy BEFORE clothes. which leads me to...

6. My car - how did this happen? How could I hate my car? where did this relationship go so wrong? In a city where you're in your car constantly, i've developed a love affair with my VW passat. I mean, I used to love love love this shiny silver happy car. Now ten years later, I hate it so much. 2 people hit and ran and destroyed it in July. One person backed up and smashed my hood so much I can't open it. Much like I could never love my child if it were ugly, now my car is ugly and I hate it.

5. Flossing - I do it, but I hate it, I just do. I feel like an animal, which we all technically are, whenever I floss. Like I'm a dog who's teeth I have to worry about... did i just call myself a dog? wow. that's not good.

4. my life - i know I already mentioned it, but i'm serious, i really hate it. and yes, I know that there are many wonderful aspects of my existance: amazing friends, a sick apartment in Bev Hills, 80 degree weather every day for the past 14 years, blah blah blah. I'M SO FUCKING BORED WITH MY LIFE AND EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO TO CHANGE THAT FAILS!! I am like Midas, but instead of turning to gold, everything I touch turns to shit! Yesterday I was in my therapists office and we were talking about my miserable existance. I said, despite all my efforts professionally nothing has changed, a year ago I was sitting in here and having the EXACT same conversation with you. That's when he said "actually, that's not true. Things have changed. They've gotten worse." THANKS! SO INSPIRING! (he's actually a kick ass therapist)

3. All these newly discovered planets - i'm not impressed, i mean i feel like this is soooo american, we're not just satisfied with the amount of planets we already had noooo we had to go out and get 32 more!!! which is hilar b/c like any american kid is going to rememeber the names of 32 MORE planets. I'm sure the avg. american can't even name the 8 we got (used to be 9 but pluto can suck it)

2. People on Facebook who try to prove to everyone else that they're life is awesome - I never tried to do that because I'd be lying, and the reality is they are lying too. If i see someone on FB talking about how great their life is, i know they're more miserable than I am if that's humanly possible and they're trying to prove to everyone they have a good life even though they dont. I want to be like "Hello, you live in the south, there's no way you love your life!! Nothing good comes from the South.... wait, where was candy corn invented? Ok if candy corn was invented in the south, than maybe ONE thing good can come from there. There was an article on the huffington post recently talking about how unhappy women are despite the great strides they've made in the past 40 years. So don't be trying to make be believe that you're the exception to the rule.

And the number one thing I hate....
1. Valet Parking - it's a necessary evil in LA, even at b'fast places, dentist offices, basically everywhere. And it just reinforces how much I hate my car when my passat is in line with a porsche, bentley and rolls royce and I apolig to the guy who gets stuck driving my car as it's often on an empty tank b/c i'm too lazy to fill it. I"m just waiting for the day a valet guy gets stranded b/c my car runs out of gas...


I'm not a Debbie Downer, tomor I will list my top 10 things i love!!!

this stapler probably is contributing more to the world than I am.

lots to tell about this weekend, hit the sing-a-long sound of music at the hollywood bowl, the best one ever and I should know I go every year. will send up full report after yoga!

Oh yeah, it happened, the thing I didnt think could ever happen, happened! FOX PASSED. More devastation about that later. SO my producers called me today to tell me, and felt so bad and he said "i just wish people would just let funny people be funny," and they have a project they want to talk to me about. Probably the most frustrating thinga bout this entire journey is I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ON IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

I wanted to be in business school in september '09, not picking myself off the pavement and heading into pitching to all the networks! Now before you say anything, yes I realize that THOUSANDS of writers NEVER get the opportunity to walk into a network pitch and have the executives scream their names in delight, so yes I recognize that I have acheived a level of success in this industry attained by very few, that being said, i made a decision to leave the failing tv business a year ago and put my skill set to something entirely different and that didn't work out and now i'm trapped in this vortex of fuck-iness. I just wanted to be doing something different but when I was rejected from every biz school, i recommitted to this biz, although really what alternative did I have? curl up in the fetal position and do nothing? well that's not an option for me at least. on that note, i have become that friend that all other friends say the following to after each passing rejection "i admire you so much for keep throwing your hat in the right amid constant disppointments!" OH GREAT NOW I'M THAT FRIEND! i liked it much better being the friend no one took seriously and didn't expect much from, but then went on to achieve great success as a tv writer, but nooooooo that role has stopped and now i'm the friend who is like some freaking perserverance superhero who conjures up Pity in others.

the reality is, after hearing that I got passed on by fox, i wanted to go out and do something horrible, but i couldn't even think of anything. I'm too fucking nice and that needs to change now, but i dont even have the energy to be a bitch or mean or an asshole. But what has being nice gotten me? amazing friends? eh, i'd rather have a job at this point. I just never thought being such a nice, loyal, reliable, honest human who gives back to humanity on a regular basis would reap me such heartache, rejection and constant disappointment. I mean the Bible says you reap what you sow, so WTF? I've been sowing good shit like crazy and i'm not reaping crap! not even a good Greys anatomy premiere last night so that was 2 more hours of torture...

ok, off to the gym to work it out and then i'll be back to my spirited self.

major pass-a-dena

well usually when a network doesn't want your show, they pass immediately, within hours. so you can imagine when ABC took 5 days to think about my show I was delighted! I thought, finally a taker. 5 days and then a pass is almost unheard of. Of course I'd think that, ABC's mandate this development season was quirky family shows, so i developed a quirky family show and... THEY PASSED...

i feel bad for my producers, one who has a crush on me, that they might never see me again if FOX passes after tomorrow's pitch BUT IT WONT HAPPEN THEY WILL LOVE IT.

i mean, what are the chances, that in 2009 the following rejections could all occur to one person...
6 business schools, 4 networks and Lauren Graham. I mean, that would be a scientific impossiblity. God would not heap THAT sheer amount of rejection on one human soul, even HE could grant compassion unlike Harvard freakin' business school! So of course FOX is going to buy my TV show, because this amount of rejection in one year is UNHEARD OF, I mean if I took my case to the supreme court, that's right The World Vs. McLaughlin even they would say "there is no precedance for such an abusive scenario and therefore McLaughlin has to granted one non rejection immediately!" so that's how I know FOX is going to buy my show tomorrow because historically there coudln't possibly be another outcome, even the supreme court says so.

feet

recently i have been told a number of things about my feet. first, a few weeks ago during a deep tissue massage, my massuer told me I had great feet structure and very well defined. I'd rather my abs be defined but whaddya gonna do... anyway, he attributed it to my working out and jumping a lot of rope which i have to do for boxing and did even before then. okay, great, i have well defined feet, this is not a "feat" pardon the pun that I can put on my resume.

second, another person told me about hair on my feet, which i have attributed to old age I'M OLD!! but she said no, its a sign of good circulation in your feet probably becuase you're so active.

ok what we've learned is that being active is good... FOR ME FEET? i mean, yes they're important, but i'm not working out for my feet!!! i'm going to be honest, i'm working out so i have awesome abs, a perfectly sculpted butt and tits that defy the laws of gravity! I'M A LOS ANGELENO AND I'M FUCKING VAIN!!! I live in beverly hills and live 3 blocks from the trendiest, celebrity filled, boutique-y street in this town, Robertson Blvd and when paris hilton or Britney comes to Kitson or Lisa Klein THEY'RE NOT TAKING PICTURES OF THEIR FEET!!! (unless they're promoting their shoe line available at Kitson)

a lesson in hyphenates

last may I worked on a pilot for NBC. studios and networks often ask writers they've worked with in the past to write for a few days on a new tv pilot to make it funnier or better etc in exchange for no pay. it's a pretty great system. (sarcasm) usually you get sent something as a thank you. In the past, AKA the hey day, they would send you freakin TVs and game systems... this year I worked on some ABC pilot I got AND I'M NOT KIDDING! a freaking got headphones from SONY. not like nice BOSe ones, just plain old headphones that do nothing special except phone your head.

so i decided i'd get what I want out of this pilot BS. So like i said last year, I worked on a pilot and met this super cute writer guy who said he was also an actor... this is what we in the biz call a hyphenate meaning they dont have a job doing one thing so they say like 10 things they could possibly want to do and thats what they tell you is their career. so this is how these typical conversations go with a hyphenate.

me: so what do you do?
them: I'm a writer-actor-director

example #2
me: so what do you do?
them: I'm a yoga instructor-actor-life coach

example #3
me: so what do you do?
them: I'm an actor-producer-pro surfer

i could go on and on. anyway, i met the hypenate actor-writer-director at this pilot last year, and he was super cute AND he had a pilot at NBC himself, so he was an actual writer... who had a girlfriend. but he told me he was going to set me up with his friends (i'm guessing also hyphenates) and we parted ways. a few weeks later, he emailed me and told me he hadn't forgotten and was still thinking about the right guy... i mean this never happens even with guys who are interested in me, let alone guys who aren't interested, yet are interested in me for their buddies. ok, so i never heard from him after that, but tonight i'm watching the premiere of house and im like HOW DO I KNOW THAT GUY, HE'S def. dating a friend of mine, so during the premiere, i'm scrolling through all my friends whose boyfriends i've met recently and its driving me crazy. first i'm like I go out way too much and thats when it hit me. He's Andrew the hypenate and he had like this huge role on House!

so the lesson learned is sometimes (but very very rarely, like seeing a sloth move rarely) hyphenates DO have careers. See? Oprah was right, you can learn a lesson out of everything. I hope you're writing this stuff down.

the problem with not drinking that often is what happens when you do drink. you get drunk very easily. which is what happened last night. i was having a drink with my friend at dominicks in bev hills, then kristin picked me up and we went down to venice to see paula, and ended up getting dinner, drinking because kristin sold her show at CBS and finishing 2 bottles of wine and a glass of champagne. so i was drunk. we all fall asleep in paulas king size bed and then around 3 am her roommate comes in and wants to wake us up to blow the roof off, whatever the fuck that means. he and kristin temporarily had a thing so i was instructed to talk about what a whore she is if given the opportunity at any time during the stay there. and i'm not joking. she said "dont outright lie, but creatively come up with responses that could lead him to believe that i have lots of guys circling and i'm hooking up with lots of guys and i'm wanted" um, ok. sure. the opportunity never presented itself. when he came in at 3am I walked by him and went to the bathroom and mumbled something to him about 3 chicks in bed togther and how he was missing out!

anyway, now i'm hungover. kristin, bernie and i went and got foot massages in korea town which made me momentarily feel better, but now i'm a mess again. stupid wine. i was supposed to play kick ball in venice today too and then to a party after. but instead i'm laying in bed and going to a movie and i need to be at bernsies house in 45 mins and i'm worried i'm not going to make it!

ok i should shower.

NETWORK UP DATE

THE FOLLOWING NETWORKS HAVE PASSED ON MY TV SHOW IDEA.... NEITHER OF WHICH WE THOUGHT WOULD BUY IT!








well i thought at the peacock we might have an outside chance. also if you're following my career, I've pitched to CBS and NBC three times and have been rejected three times....

emmy weekend

welcome to emmy weekend, where, because I live next to the four seasons in bev hills, i can't find parking anywhere. I love that they can just put no parking signs all over my street like it's not a major inconveience for everyone who lives there. so i'm going to have to park blocks away while the limos and town cars for all these jackasses populate my street! and this is just the beginning of awards season which will continue regularly until after the academy awards in march... sigh...

ok ok, i know life could be (and has been) much worse, i just like to bitch about this as its so fucking annoying.

just another manic friday

sooo. this has been an insane week. I pitched to 3 of the 4 major networks. I pitch to the 4th next week. It's hard work memorizing 6 single spaced pages of your show, then putting on essentially a little play for about 6 people in the room, all of whom are staring at you! It takes a lot of strength not to just stop in the middle and start to cry cause it's so hard!! but this show i've created is actually a ton of fun and I really believe it in, which is a big difference than shows i've pitched in the past that i was geting paid to do therefore people had the right to interfere with my creative sights and change them and ruin them... now i'm pitching with a company who if I sell it, the network has to pay me but if i dont sell, i dont get paid, YUP THIS IS THE HOLLYWOOD DREAM!!

SO FAR CBS HAS passed, but it's not a cbs show and we didn't even want to pitch to them b/c of that very reason, kind of a waste of time, but it was good to get the kinks out with them and made adjustments for the networks that are perfect for this project.

i'm also busy writing my business school essays, as i'm reapplying. i'm reapplying to 3 schools i applied to last year and 3 new ones. it's a shit load of work, but thankfully i've done most of it last year, so my past self is helping my future self. i'm just repurposing my essays etc.


so i have a friend who is the daughter of a very famous person, she's also a tv writer so thats how we met, at the writers loungue. anyway, she's awesome. so one day last week i came in and saw her name on the list of people in the lounge and was excited to see her, but it turns out it was her sister who has the same intials. so i wrote on my friends facebook, "i was excited to see you but then I came in and saw it was your sister, and she's great and all but she's no (insert her name) well, the sister saw this wall post and got all bent out of shape. and wrote underneath my comment "GEEZ!" like she was all offended, so much so that her sister took it down!! Meanwhile, this sister is a fucking comedy writer and a very successful one at that, so it's kinda strange that she couldn't tell it was a joke given the fact that IT SO OBVIOSULY WAS!! i'm only writing this story b/c the annoyed sister just walked by me and i kept my head down as not to make eye contact! ahhh facebook, it's so fucking retarded as is humanity, and yet i love it so!

i just realized that my keyboard on my laptop has a lot of the letters erased from some of the keys... well i didnt just realize that the letters are rubbed off, but I DID just realize that the keys that are rubbed off are the ones that are in all my passwords for every website! so if you wanna figure it out, come on over and take a peek at my keyboard, figure out the letters that are missing and then bam, you have access to all my private data, like my subscription to all the House fansites!

anyone else think it's a great day to sell a TV show at NBC? I do, so that's on my to do list today. Very excited. one of my best friends is also pitching to NBC today, hilarious! On the front page of the la times is an article about all the angry people in this world... strangely that what my show is about! it's a sign!

so i go to my boxing gym like twice a week and I talk to all the guys there. they're all ex cons, ex druggies, ex homeless, hard core guys, but I find them to kick ass! Anyway, i walk around like I freakin' own the place, which I dont its owned by the most world famous boxing trainer out there, who i also adore. But i'm friendly to everyone and joke around. last week a new guy appeared at the gym, he's from some french african island and I talked to him ONCE and now he wants to go out with me! Ddont get me wrong thats flattering, but I've noticed that the other 20 or so guys I talk to there haven't asked me out, so what's the difference is it because he's a french guy? did I do something like cross some sort of cultural barrier I didn't know existed? and if i did, i'm in my own country, so why should I be penalized for this. Now this guy of course is soooo freakin nice, and so sweet, but also a boxer and i dont want him to beat me when i tell him that i dont know him at all, aside from his name, and dont make it a habit to go out with people I meet and talk to for all of 30 seconds.

But yesterday i noticed that when I was at the speed bag, so was he, (and I'm trying to get a seriously intense workout, so please stop talking to me) and when I was at in the back room in the ring, he's was in the back room doing abs and when I was at the heavy bag, guess who showed up to the heavy bags and is flirting with me. but i'm way too nice to tell this guy to beat it, he knows no one in this city and am i going to be some biatch who is like, sorry dude... there's no time for flirting, just boxing!! I'M HERE TO BOX AT THIS WORLD FAMOUS BOXING GYM!!! This isn't a speed dating event.

why yes I am 28

went out with remy, carrie and alex last night to edendale in silverlake, such a cute wine bar, which silverlake has many of but I find it too far of a trek to head over to on a frequent basis. there was a going away party for alex,she's only leaving for 5 monhts, so i'm not really sure of the purpose of one of those. But truth be told i've been to a going away part for someone who was only leaving for 3 months once, SERIOUSLY? 3 months? i mean, sometimes i'll 3 months w/o seeing a friend, so do you really need a party, REALLY?

anywya, this guy told me he couldn't believe i've been working in the TV biz for 13 years and how old was i? i said how old do I look and he said 28, so there's now way you've been doing it since you were 15. OMG, 28?!?!? CAN I KISS YOU RIGHT NOW!? too bad he was married and his wife wouldn't have wanted my tongue down his throat. also regaled the crowd with the story of my torn labia muscle this spring from trying to look like gywenth paltrow and doing this working her trainer showed on Oprah... yes, labia muscle, thats' what I said. still can't run, so that's why i box twice a week!! woo hoo.

also how does roger federer make his tennis game look so easy? i'm watching the US open right now and I just dont look that way on the court.

Last night I met my friend D. Warren's baby!!! His name is Benjamin and he's 10 days old. Seriously, so cute! Him and his wife live in the bldg at the top of my street, but they told me that they're probably going to move to a place in the valley?!!? ugh, such a travesty, there goes that friendship! WHY DOES EVERYONE WHO HAS KIDS MOVE TO THE FREAKING VALLEY!!

Yes, i'm a westside snob. it's true, but you would be too if one by one all your friends got married, so they going out and then had a kid, so they stopped being interesting and THEN they move to the valley so they stop EVERYTHING.

I really hope they find an affordable place near us, i mean, i haven't looked in 2.5 years, but there has to be SOME place around us than can accomodate them. I just wish their stupid elevator in their bldg. would start working again so they'd forget about leaving their apartment and then I could hang out with them. His wife and I watch Gossip Girl together every monday night. Oh yes I know it's embarrassing to watch that show, but it feels less shameful if doing it with someone else!

um... ellen on american idol? what do we think about this?

Great celeb sighting this weekend, was poolside with hilary swank and her boyfriend and his kid, she seemed more interested in what was going on on her blackberry than the people she came to the pool with and holy crap I wish I had taken a picture of this towel contraption she wrapped around her chest and shoulders AFTER having her BF apply sunscreen. Dont get me wrong, i wear a burka when Im exposed to the sun for any length of time, but this hilary thing was very specific towel wrap thing she put together that she wrapped up so quickly with a random towel that it made one believe she had done this waaay to many times before. way way way to many times. oh and the pool was supposed to be a cell free zone, but apparently not for hillary swank! MBN = must be nice!

i'm tired. i have my mouth guard in, ready to sleep. am i the only one who wears a mouth guard because I grind my teeth? I've had it for a year and well, i've pretty much grinded it right down! is this normal?

I'm starting to question what's normal and not now that i'm (gulp) 35. way old, yes I realize there are people out there older than me, but i'm pretty sure I'm the benjamin button in many ways aging inapropriately for my age, and I dont look at all like brad pitt so my tale will not be as charming.

check out this by a writer from H-town.

http://www.deadline.com/hollywood/why-he-will-not-read-your-fucking-script/

might be the best expression that a writer feels when asked to read someone jack ass's script who ISNT a writer.

breathe deeply...welcome to LA! ash on my car, windows closed (makes for a very hot apartment) and terrible air, i have a mask!

off to lunch with my new agents, love them. hated my old agents, omg the laziest fuckers in town who lliked going out to nice lunches and telling people they worked at endeavor, but never did any work!!! i wanted to walk to the restaurant in bev hills, but the air quality is too poor!

pitched to adam sandlers company today, we'll see how it turns out!

I waxed my big toe! yes, women have secrets, and i hate getting older as weird hair starts to manifest itself in odd places. so i removed said hair from said big toe. what am i, some sort of animal???? normally it wouldn't matter had I lived in some place where one rarely wears open toed shoes, alas, i live in LA and i wear open toed shoes AKA flip flops 365 days a year!

yes, life is sooo hard.

what did i do today

today i am happy to report i have new agents, my other agents at the huge hollywood talent agency that is run by the brother of the white house chief of staff were horrid, wastes of space, my agent in particular is and i hate to use this word a total C-WORD!!!

i hate saying it but in this case i do not as it's factually accurate. also hired a manager, the more people working on my behalf the better, also thats now 20% of my salary going out the door. but i'd rather have 20% go and have a job than 10% and not have a job, ahhhh hollywood!!!

going to my new managers birthday party tonight, ugh, already I have to go a party for him, i barely know him!

today i also cyber stalked my ex boyfriend's girlfriend on facebook. they've been together for a few years and it's nice to know he's gotten fat and has grown a beard and is not nearly as adorable as he was when I dated him 3 years ago when he was 25 and ADORABLE!!!!


lets see also went to therapy today, we're working on feelings, or more specificaly my lack there of, consider me a robot or like the star trek character spock, i have no feelings, but i'm working on getting some. I wish i could just order out feelings like I can chinese food. speaking of, i'm quite famished. what should i have for dinner, should I order from Toast or Joans on 3rd?!?!? hmmm, very very hard decision. oh I saw pauly shore at the grove on monday night, not the most amazing sighting by any means, but still. and today i finished my final draft of my pilot for sony... at least for now! not sure what will happen to it next, but eager to get it on the air so I can mock my hometown and the pain it caused me while earning more money than the people i grew up with combined... well that's if it becomes a huge hit and goes into syndication... ok, i need to figure out dinner.

oh and i also went to boxing today, i rocked it, my trainer is mucho impressed by my mad speed bag skills, i can hit it fucking mad!!

yes, i do go to a lot of costume parties, this was this saturday's... an argentina party, los pingos played we danced, we drank we had the best time!!!

this is weird

i think im super weird for being very upset that jane kazmerik and bradley whitford are getting divorced! i mean, i read that on people.com and i was really sad! what's wrong with me. I'm seriously upset!! what is wrong with me! I just like the both of them so much, and i thought they were the perfect couple! ok this is getting embarrassing of me! i'm going to stop talking about my devastation!

last night i went to the paley media center for an event with the creative team from the show house. there were waaaay to many crazy fans there for dr. house. One guy even talked about how hugh didn't sign autographs at one event but did for another another and didn't for another, what?!?! that's crazy! who has the time to pay attention that much to ANYTHING! Despite that nuttyness, it was really fun!

playing tennis this afternoon and having a strategy session with my friend, Jen. I also have been working for my friend's new company doing brand management. i dont get paid but it's great experience to put on the resume.

I've started taking boxing, like hard core boxing where you box in a ring, jump rope, one on one with a trainer, mine just so happens to be a former us olympian. anyway, i've gone like 4 times and I'm pretty sure I'm getting very close to looking like mike tyson above. Dont worry no one is going to hurt this pretty face of mine! I will not look like tyson's face, just his arms and abs. I think I can do it, anyone got steriods? my trainer trains out of the world famous boxing gym in hollywood. The big fight that was on back in may? i'm sure you remember seeing it as perhaps your boyfriend or husband pay per viewed it and the guy who won is also trained there. I heard that when he's in teh gym training, hundreds of philapinos show up hoping to get a glimpse of him!

so i love that, other than that I've been up to nothing. ok, that's not entirely true, I went to oceanside last weekend with a big group, our friend has a house on the beach down there, i mean ON THE BEACH!! anyway, we got drunk and danced and played on the beach and took walks. the theme of the weekend was model UN. we had to dress up like a country, bring a dish from that country and get up and talk about it during dinner, it was freaking hilarious and stereo-type tastic!!!! I was madagascar (which I visited in '05) and i wore a basket on my head which is a tradtional way for women to carry shit around. Much like our messenger bag, albeit a looooooooooootttttttt less comfortable. It was the hit of the party, and made taking photos of everyone quite discombobulated! best weekend in a long time!

Sure enough, went to Greg's party on satruday night and who is playing darts in the guest house? Mary Jo Butafuco. Awesome! And she seemed super nice. But who seemed even friendlier and nicer? Her new husband! I mean, how great is that? I've never met these people before yet I'm so invested in MJ's new life and happiness. you know? Is that weird that I want this woman, who let's be honest, overcome ALLLLL the odds to survive a horrific accident, to live out every single day of her life filled with love and happiness. yes, California has made me soft!!!

And she looks great!! Ran into a number of character actors at the party as well, the type of person who you're like "ive seen that guy a milion times on every legal show on TV!"

And then Kristin and I cruised over to Beechwood, that rad restaurant/bar also in Venice, hung out there for a bit, learned my friend Liz is also auditioning for "are you smarter than a 5th Grader," which I audition for tomorrow! woo hoo, the capital of alaska is juneau!!! See, i am smarter. also George Washington was the president in 1790... i'll let you know how it goes!

spent this afternoon at the sickest silverlake house ever. this place is one of my favorite houses in LA! the view is amazing, there's a beautiful pool and hot tub, pool table, plasma screen tvs in every room, it has an amazing kitchen, food being cooked left and right, all creative TV writers/actors/wannabes. it was insane, loved it!! I only stayed for like 3 hours though as sometimes my fellow hollywood-ers exhaust me!

yoga

I just finished a great yoga class at city yoga in We.Ho. Love Anthony who owns and teaches at the place. He made me do a handstand today, made me!! It's a total psychological thing, the handstand, for virtually everyone, so you have to force the stubborn yogi to do it or else they never will. I'm glad i'm building the strength to continue that.

I had a gross guy next to me at yoga though when we were do abs stuff his feet were in my face, i can't even talk about it anymore, i just ate...

off to the health food store erewhon in hollywood. Going to buy some organic apple cider vingar. I've recently heard from a friend who started drinking 2 table spoons 3 times a day of it in water, that her skin has been transformed, and it has, it looks great! so i thought i'd try it, what else am i doing on a saturday morning!! Also read that its helpful for insulin resistance, which I have, so i thought hey why not give it a shot. I'll report back...

last night went out to drinks wtih a bunch of writers from icarly, some nikelodeon show. one guy who we all used to work with on another show was there and he is the most maddening person on the planet, on the drive home, danny and i were going off on him: he didn't pay enough for his food, he only talks about himself and this weird diet he's on that is the best diet ever (not a diet to lose weight, he's tiny, but this diet he thinks he discovered to cure his allergies... um not if you're still going to get allergy shots.?!! he's insane)

got 2 parties tonight, should be fun.

WE MEET AGAIN

i have been a very bad blogger. But I swear I'm back now, i've just been crazy busy living life, which is the point right?

Anyway, Ive been invited to a keg party, oh yes, grown men still have them, a man who is married with 2 kids, BUT is a stand up and an actor, so once again, my theory that the enteratiment biz rewards and actually encourages immaturity, but this is the kind of immaturity i can get behind as Mary Jo Buttafucco and Andy Dick will be at this party, this is going to be some kind of party!

will report back. it's tomorrow night!!!! Can't wait.

i fear that...

i'm old. Despite my best efforts to deny it, i have actual evidence that I am in fact old. My good friend Suzy was in town for work last week and we hit up a young hollywood party. Now the 2 of us are tinsel town gossip queens, but lo and behold we barely recognized the majority of these "celebs" that came to the party. Anyone ever heard of Bai Ling? yeah, I ddin't think so. I recognized "the miz" from the real world NYC like 6 years ago, and a few of the gals from the hills, but was very impressed when suzy knew "stephanie platt?!!" she's also from the hills.

the party was fun, loved spending time with Suzy and drinking a key lime martini and rubbing elbows with the people I didn't know were famous. The party was at the apple lounge (formely luna park for those people who knew LA 10 years ago *sigh* another indicator of my elderly status) and lady gaga performed (didn't know who she was either truth be told, but now i hear her songs all the time on the radio!)

so it was fun. hiked this weekend, worked out, hit mucho parties at silverlike wines, and Busbys and some other mexican joint, saw a few celebs at said parties, no one too exciting i'm afraid. now its back to the grind, re-writing my sony pilot, getting it ready for my producers this week hopefully!!!

sorry!!!

I am so embarrassed that I have neglected my blog! I have been crazy writing my pilot for SONY and the last thing I want to do at the end of a long day is to write!

Anyway, i'm back now, i just got notes back on my first draft: it's funny! It's hilarious, but i need to make the main character more vulnerable and show her emotional drive or some such nonsense. Here's a secret about writing, the main character is always always always the author. So when u watch a show, say greys anatomy, you know that meredith grey is shonda rhimes, i mean not entirely of course, but for the most part, who she really is is the writer of the show. The show I used to write for, the main character Eric was based on the creator's life growning up in buffalo, now the creator wasn't a nerdy guy, but he felt like he was and the story between eric and donna was based on his relationship with his first girlfriend in high school. Anyway, back to my script, this girl is me and since I'm not one to show my vulnerability to most people but the producer wants to see it... what do i do, or more like HOW do i do it. I guess i make her cry in the first ten pages.

THe thing is it takes something huge to make me cry. and its not like "oh i'm so tough i dont cry" its quite the opposite, I want to cry, but it my body doesn't generate that response to most typical cry inducing scenarios. Although in a sad movie when all my friends are crying i do recognize "i see this as a place where people woudl cry" so I do have the capacity for emotion. I just get mad that I dont react that way. Nor do i react at all, i'm like a robot. it's fine, i'm used to it. I know I cried in february 2008 and in november 2006, both having to do with doctors visits, dont worry i'm not dying, but I didn't cry when i was getting my appendix out. weird.

anyway, the moral of the story is i now have to make my character more vulnerable and since I dont know what makes peopel vulnerable, i'm not sure how to execute this on my next draft... off to think about it and will be back this weekend to chat more!

I"m so sorry for neglecting my blog.

so much going on. I'm writing my pilot about my hometown right now and I"ve been crazy busy with that. I went snowboarding in mammoth with some friends here and that was AWESOME! If you've never skiied or snowboarded in california, you haven't lived, it's way better than colorado and i lived there for 4 years and loved that too, but Mammoth is sick! snowboarding in powder up to my calves!!! sick sick sick!

i've been writing for fandango every day leading up to the academy awards, so that's cool. I'll have to write an article for the show itself after it airs.

Other than than, just been running around working out, hiking, enjoying the weather, love LA weather. drinking veggie juice and also eating cupcakes, love cupcakes. Ate at the Palihouse last night, great new LA restaurant! so freaking good!

saw andy richter at a bday party for a writer the other night, he didn't talk to anyone and just foraged for food the entire time! weird dude!

anyway, thats it for now, will post more often now, i promise!

recenet celeb sightings

I live one block from the 4 seasons hotel in bev hills. This is fine on most days but in 3 days in particular it's a total f-ing nightmare: golden globes, academy awards and the emmys.

this is because all the celebs are staying in the 4 seasons and their limos and town cars block my entire street, so much so that the bev hills police SHUT MY STREET DOWN this weekend!! um, ok, see i actually live here!!!!

but i had some good celeb sightings, most of them having nothing to do with the golden globes.

I saw ricky gervais walking around my street, dressed like a total schlub in a black tshirt and baggy shorts (its like 90 degrees here)


then i walked into church at good sheppard catholic church in bev hills next to Charo coochie coochie!



and finally on friday night I saw neil diamond without his toupee!



and on a final note, i've lost 3 pounds so far being jennifer aniston and following her diet!!!! yea i'm just as surprised as you are, but not really as all i eat is fresh fruit and veggies and lean protein (with a yogurt tossed in there every few days!)

I'm not being a good jennifer aniston

well day 1.5 started out very promising, but last night I walked to 3rd stop to meet bernie and kyle and steve for drinks. we hung out, talked about bernie madoff and then got a text from debbie and danny asking me to come over for a drink. So i left 3rd stop and walked over to thier place for a glass of wine. I love that everyone now lives in my neighborhood. Betsy, noelle, etc all moved here too and we're all meeting for brunch tomrs morn.

Now i meant to hit the gym this morning to be jen ann but i'm typing this from bed... it's 1030 am. yikes. my spa appt isn't until 3 but we're going to have lunch there, so i'm hoping i can motivate and hit the gym before!

robertson

there are so many great things about where i live. The least fave is the incessant paparrazi that are parked all over robertson blvd which is THE place to shop for the stupid starletts and reality show bimbos like the kim kardashian and paris hilton and brit. spears. I was once knocked over by a papparazzo chasing after kim kardashian and then had to run with a paparazzi swarm 3 months ago so I woudn't be stampeded by them in order for them to get a pic of heidi fucking montag from the hills. I mean can you imagine that being in my obit: "She was accidently stampeded to death by the papparazzi who needed to get a picture of heidi and spencer laughing at LC's clothing line at Kitson" what a way to go. I've also been mocked by one pap who laughed at me cause i tripped b/c i wasn't paying attention to where i was walking as i was also texting. He was from TMZ and filmed the whole thing. thanks.

anyway, yesterday I walked to the newsroom to get the us weekly that is going to change my life (although I also realized I dont have a boob job like jen anniston, but that's okay i still think I can get to look like her) and not one pap. to be found, it was so nice! Happy new year to me! It's also helpful to walk up roberston in the morning cause they're not there either, although then you might get attacked by the mean homeless man who loves me one day and asks me to take him to the movies and then yells furiously at me the next day! Pfft, men.

so that was my thurs. cruising robertson, playing tennis at the B.H. tennis club (thank God i'm back in LA where its warm and not barbaric temperatures, how does one play tennis in a tennis skirt outside in the middle of january in NYC... one does not!)

being jennifer aniston

okay so yesterday was my first day being jennifer aniston. Well really my only .5 day as I started my mission after lunch when I got the new us weekly with jen aniston on the cover telling me how i can look like her. So i thought, why the fuck not?! I can do that! My friends all say Sarah, it's her job to look that good, but my reply is, why couldn't it be MY job? I dont have a job that requires me to go to an office for a set amount of hours every day, so why couldn't it be my job.

anyway, these new bikini pics of Jennifer Aniston (heretoforward JA) from her vacay in mexico with courtney cox has made me very envious. and now I can do this. So today I've been very good, i did not eat white fish galore or multiple veggies and fruits, but i did drink carrot/coconut juice and eat sunflower seeds.

Now im not going to be unrealistic, i obviously not in a position to hire a personal yoga instructor to come to my house every day OR have the zone deliver food to me every day, so i will be improvising. I hiked runyon canyon this morning with stacy for 1.5 hours and i meant to go to the gym this afternoon but instead went to Natalyas to hang out. It's nice to be unemployed with so many other unemployed people. However, I will be working with Nat on her company doing brand management for C and B level celebs. I'm actually going to be her intern. She went to Harvard Business School so she's smarter than me since I dont seem to be going there fall 2009. But i digress...

I did eat one of nat's jenny craig meals. She wants to have a 2nd kid, but is starving herself down 35 pounds before she does. If you want a to build a new building, you dont build a second and third floor on an existing one, you start from the ground floor and build up, that's how she looks at pregnancy. So I did eat one of her jenny craig meals for dinner and so i'm well on my way to being jennifer aniston.

TOmorrow a.m i'm hitting the gym fiercely only to be followed by a 90minute hot stone massge/spa day. And sunday its early yoga (just like JA) followed by brunch at kings road with the girls and a little golden globes party action. Granted JA will probably be at the golden globes (i did that 2 years ago, so who needs to do that again... athough seeing jack nicholson crossing the wilshire blvd with me and his daughter was pretty amazing)

anyway I CANNOT WAIT TO LOOK LIKE JENNIFER ANISTON!! if it's as easy at US weekly says it is, I'll be hot in NO TIME. i need to start growing my hair longer and getting it dyed blonde, but one step at a time. I need to go buy some whitefish and veggies!!! WISH ME LUCK!