christmas

christmas weekend was so fun! although it started off tenous when my sister got into a car accident on 53rd and 10th ave on friday night and my fam and i spent the night at St. lukes roosevelt hospital up the street while she got x-rayed and stuff to check out her spine and neck. some jerk hit a cab that hit the cab my sister was in. everyone got out of their cars, but then my sister said "we need to call the cops" and the guy who hit her got in his car and took off. they got his license plate, no surprise he was from JERSEY. the only thing good to come out of jersey is my sister in law. anyway, on sat. morn we went to philly and got there just in time to go to the 4pm Lutheran church my sister in law goes to and my nephew liam was sheppard #1 in the nativity play. the sheppard head wear he had kept slipping down over his eyes and he had a big crook and it kept taking out the heads of his neighbors. my sister and my friend jenny and i could not stop laughing it was the cutest!

HOT FOR TEACHER!

okay so yesterday was a first for me. My friend cathy toolan asked me to come teach about t.v. writing to her 8th grade english class at rye neck middle school. I thought this was going to be a total breeze. boy was i misinformed!! TEACHING IS REALLY HARD!! I have a whole new found respect for teachers. not that i didn't think it was hard, most jobs are hard, but phew, i wanted to go to sleep at 2:45 after teaching 3 classes!! the students were really nice, although i was bummed to see all the girls too embarrassed to participate. middle school is when studies say they are outshined by the boys because girls are embarrassed to be smart. thankfully i wasn't smart so i never had that insecurity. but i digress. I show up and teach one class which was fun, but i was a little nervous and not really sure what to talk about, FYI you should probably prepare when you do one of these things, not talk extemporaneously! then i got into the groove during the 2nd class and then after that, i was utterly exhausted at the start of the 3rd class. i was like "I have to do this again??????????" however, they were my favorite class and asked really smart questions not like "which celebrities do i know." Each class told me funny stories that happened to them and we tried to come up with a t.v. episode based on their ideas, i plan to steal some of these ideas because soem of them were better than what the writing staff comes up with. although a fair amount of them had to do with setting things on fire or blowing things up... ahhh to be a middle school boy again! wait a minute...

my friends story about TRANSIT STRIKE 2005

THIS IS MY FRIEND AMY'S STORY ABOUT HOW SHE GOT TO WORK YESTERDAY MORNING THE FIRST DAY OF THE STRIKE. AMY LIVES IN ASTORIA, QUEENS AND COMMUTES TO WORK BY SUBWAY INTO MID-TOWN MANHATTAN...

so i have to share my ridicul-dog tale of getting into the city this morning during the strike

i walk out to 31st st. in astoria, intending to walk over the bridge and this lady in a shitty looking nissan held together by duct tape yells out - hey do you want a free ride into manhattan so i'm like sure and jump in. she was an african american woman, the guy in the front seat was this older indian man and i was in the back with this south-american-y looking man. all that was missing was a samurai in a kimono and we would have had a benennton ad.

the driver - the lady - was really stressed out and her dad kept calling her on her cell phone and she was like - dad! i can't talk right now. (i
gathered from the convo that she had just broke up w/ someone or something) and then this giant white VAN tried to merge into our lane. and she was
like - fuck that shit. and she just IGNORED HIM., and let him plow into her car. total fender bender. and then the van driver got out and started
shouting at her and she rolled down her window and acted all innocent and was like - "didn't you see me?" and he was screaming at her and then she changed her tune and was like "i don't have time for your crap" and sped off. and i turned around and saw him standing in the middle of lane, shaking his fists above his head. then she was like "whatever, my uncle is a body mechanic and he'll fix my car for free" i wanted to be like "um, is your other uncle a plastic surgeon for when we all get disfigured in another car accident!!!!"

she was very nice though. i waved when she dropped me off on 5th and 50th and watched her drive away with her side headlight dangling by a few
sparking wires.

riddle me this

on friday night, will and i met up with my friend bernadette at her company's christmas party. it was well into the evening as i had been working late on my tv show taping. so we show up and berna is well into a few drinks and is kinda drunk, FYI we're not!! so she goes into the kareokee room (they had a number of diff. rooms including a snow room and an x box room) anyway, she was insisting that i kareoke with her and i was like no thanks, i dont feel like it and then she's going on and on and on and on and on and on and on ( you know how drunk people can be) about how i always kareoke and how much i must like will (yes in front of him) since i'm not kareoke-ing. now will is not one for kareoke, and has told me as much only days before in fact he gets embarrassed when other people karoeke, i'm not familiar with this affliction, but am sympathetic to it. anyway, now i'm totally embarrassed because of berna's behavior and want to tell her!!! i mean, she was totally embarrassing. And my friends wonder why i don't introduce them to the guys i'm dating until well into the 3rd month! BECAUSE THEY'RE SO FUCKING EMBARRASSING THATS WHY. now it's gonna be well into the 4th month with the next guy i date!

mta strike 2005

my best guy friend has been in town since saturday from denver. His name is jamie and we've been hanging out non stop. yesterday we walked for about 6 hours straight all over manhattan shopping and meeting up with friends for coffee, dinner, drinks. i'm exhausted. last night i had dinner with my friend bryan who i used to date who is in NYC producing a new TV show for CBS called "Love Monkey" premiering in january. I hope it's good because i want to write for it next season which would mean i get to live in NY, even though it's freezing here, i think i can handle it. we had dinner at a great french restaurant in chelsea, it was AMAZING!! i had a great time.

rip taylor

WHO IS HE? i'm still asking myself that, but i think he's some famous comedian from the 70s who is toatlly gay ( i think, don't sue me rip) and is famous for throwing confetti every time he's on camera. ( i think on the gong show!) anyway, he was at my friends' chris and bryans Christmas party last weekend, and here are the pics with me and him and will and him!!!

secret santa

today was secret santa at our show and we go overboard. being t.v. sitcom writers there's always a joke gifts and then an over the top expensive gift. my joke gift was a bib that says "suck it," which is what i always say to people and in the writers room if people dont' like my pitch. and becuase i always spill food on myself. then i got SERIUS SATELLITE RADIO!! it was hidden in the men's room cause i went into the mens room once while the women's room was being cleaned during a taping while everyone was on stage... turns out not everyone was on stage, rob, our exec. prod. came up stairs to use the bathroom too!! alan dybner also got a bib cause we call him the baby in the writers room, so here's a pic of us with both our bibs. also i'm wearing my christmas sweater again, i'm starting to like it a bit too much!

endoscopy

got an endoscopy yesterday. man, has this stomach thing really cost a lot for my insurance!! this year alone I've had a colonoscopy, ultra sound, countless blood tests, an endoscopy, barium x-ray!! anyway yesterday morning i got up early to be put out for like an hour while they stuck a camera down my throat. they took a bunch of biopsies and i will get the results back at the end of the week!! i wish i had a video of my insides!!

cookie swap

last night was girls night cookie swap! there were supposed to be 8 of us, but only 6 could come and it was really fun. i had to show up late cause I was working late, but only 3 more days of work until i have 2 weeks off!! YAHOO!! anyway, i made chocolate chocolate chip cookies with a hershey kiss on top!! monique made these peanut butter thingys, amy made italian wedding cookies, bernsie made chocolate chip cookies with cnady canes in them, janae made some sort of cornflake thing dyed green and shaped like a wreath and erika made popcorn ball thingys. I don't know the real names of these things. anyway, after the swap I immediately drove to Will's to unload all the cookies on him and his roomate in order to avoid getting enormous over the holidays. don't worry i saved a few cookies for me!!

long beach christmas

when you hear long beach, california, you think snoop dogg and gang warfare... and you wouldn't be wrong, but last night i found out that this town is more than just that. kristin had a party where we walked along the canals of long beach to take in the holiay lights, it was really nice. bernadette and i got matching holiday sweaters at kmart to make the experience whole!

holiday weekend

i'm really looking forward to this weekend. i have a great party on sat. night at 2 of the writers house and these guys are insane in their decorating, the guys i went to the christmas village show a few weeks ago when they spent over $1400 on various christmas items. they can decorate their house insanely and would put the white house to shame. also theyr'e going to have a great caterer! and i'm going to know almost everyone as this party, so i'm psyched. then on sunday night my friend kristen is having a party in long beach where they apparently have canals people decorate for christmas, so we're meeting at her parents house and then walking along the canals, taking in lights and ending up at her friend paula's house for dessert and coffee!! i'm so psyched. i also have to make 4 dzn cookies at some point for cookie swap girls night on monday!! i can't wait for christmas!!! yahoo!! i leave in a week for NYC but not that excited since I was just there 2 weeks ago and travevlling is a big pain in the ass, but i will get to see my niece and nephew!! that's fun!

NY knicks

last night will and i went to the Knicks/Clippers game at staples center. It was very fun with the exception of the loss, which sucked big time!! We were winning the entire game and then in the 4 mins. the knicks sucked it! I'm also very against the new knicks uniforms, i couldn't find a picture but believe me, not so cool. we met up with one of the cast members of my show and had a cigarette, his seats were better than ours. all in all a great night...

another day in hollywood

I was leaving the gym this morning and saw jeff goldblum on his way in. Whenever I see people coming into the gym as i'm exiting, i think "sucker!" i already had an awesome workout and you haven't even started yet! I would've liked to see what he does when he works out though. Carmen electra and dave navarro work out there and she usually takes classes and he's on the eliptical machine. also I started drinking this stuff called Green magma" which is basically powdered barley grass. Yum! (not really)

late nights at the office

yesterday we all came in early to re-break this weeks episode. we sat around, came up with all new stories and then each writer was assigned a scene to write and we went off, wrote our individual scenes and two hours later we had a script. it's what we in the t.v. writing business refer to as a "gang-banged script." then we were here until 1 a.m. re-writing that script. and then i got up this a.m. to work out cause i ate a lot of junk food while sitting for 18 hours yesterday! what a day!

the weekend

this weekend went by so fast I almost can't believe it's monday. On saturday I slept in and then went shopping for a Christmas tree with bernadette. We then went to my friend/FOX exec. Yvette's jewelry party. It was for holiday gifts, but I only bought something for myself. then later I went to yoga and picked up my friend christie who was in town on buisness for nike and who had been at the USC/UCLA game and had been drinking all day. She planned to stay with me for the night to hang before she went back to portland. we got a great sushi dinner at Sushi roku and then hit a few parties. AT my friend Tal's party, christie was sexually assaulted by numerous fellas who pinched and felt her up. then we went to kristin's party where christie was soooo tired from drinking all day that she asked to get my keys and go to sleep in my car which i was not going to allow so even though will wanted to meet up with us, i couldnt see him due to christie needing sleep. we got up the next day had b'fast, went to Nike town for the discount baby and I took her to the airport, a quick trip indeed. I then went to spa mystique for my friend's bday party and i got a massage and then we all met up and had cake and champagne! what a day! I then came home and watched grey's anatomy, i freakin' love that show and that patrick dempsey.

wednesday

last night i had drinks with my agents tom and rich. they're very funny to hang out with. we went to this cheesy mexican bar, they got margaritas but I went with sierra nevada beer, mucho mexicano! anyway, as promised here are pics of my niece and i and tina at our tea party. also, one with ro ro (the cutest kid EVER!!) holding tina's emmy award! (she'll have her own some day.... some day!!)

put down your fork

if you're eating right now, this is my disclaimer. see that picture? that's a picture of a sonogram with a gallstone in the gallbladder, that's what i got! it's not my gallbladder, but one i ripped off the internet. anyway, you might think i'd be excited for finally figuring out what was wrong with me for 7 months, but wait, that's not all, i also have something terribly wrong with MY BOWELS!! inflammation disease central. i'm sad to say. On dec. 13th, they knock me out AGAIN and stick a camera down my throat and figure out what's really going on in my upper GI! i won't have pictures of that, or maybe they can give me the film! that would be cool!! oh and tomorrow i promise to have the pics of my neice and i at our ladies tea party, i have the camera in my office, but forgot the cord to attach it to my computer!

there's a chance

that will could be dating someone as well as me.... last night i called him around 9:30pm and we talked for a while (we hadn't talked in over a week since i'd been away) and then he said he was running the shower. so i asked him if he was going out? and he said he was meeting a friend for drinks. my friends think and i agree that it's code for "I have a date." what guy do you know when meeting a friend out for drinks takes a shower beforehand? puh-lease. so now i'm off board. we're supposed to go out again tomorrow night, but i'm reconsidering YES I'M BEING A HYSTERICAL GIRL!

TOP 5 T.V. CRUSHES

my brother has so wonderfully (read: totally freaking embarrassingly) reminded me of 2 of my 80s crushes. Just so you all know, i had no intenion of putting these two on my list because i think this info is on par with memories of your drunken uncle touching you innappropraitely at christmas that you try to repress. Here is his email where he does detail my 2 crushes that were inexplicably totally real, not exaggerated. and believe me, my family does not let me forget the first one!!! take it away Dan.


Your first TV crush was Tony Randall (Ha, Ha) who appeared in the
comedy series "Love Sidney" which ran from 1981 to 1983.

"Love Sidney" ran at the start of the 80's, but at the very end of the
80's you had a big t.v. crush on someone who appeared in a series that
also had the word "LOVE" in it.

Now, there are 6 degress of separation between your first TV Love (Tony
Randall) and your end of the 80's TV Love:

1. Tony Randall played Felix Ungar in the t.v. version of "The Odd
Couple."
2. The role of Felix Ungar was played by Jack Lemmon in the 1968 movie
of "The Odd Couple."
3. Jack Lemmon co-stared with Tony Curtis in the 1959 movie "Some Like
It Hot"
4. Tony Curtis' daughter is Jamie Lee Curtis
5. Jamie Lee Curtis stared in a t.v. series called "Anything But Love"
that ran from 1989-1992.
6. The other co-star in "Anything But Love" was none other than
Sarah's late 80s t.v. crush........

RICHARD LEWIS.

Don't know what's sadder...That I came up with that series of
connections in under a minute or that your first crush was Tony Randall.

back in business

okay, so i'm back in LA from NY. I'm totally exhausted and went to bed at 2am and had to get up at 7:30am for a medical procedure. An ultrasound, not for pregnancy, but for some other stomach/abdomen issues I have been having for 7 months! Yikees. anyway, the technician was all business. And i asked her if she could see anything on the ultra sound (i couldnt make heads or tails of anything on the monitor) and she told me she couldn't tell me b/c it would be against the law. anyway, it took like 20 mins and I had all this nasty goop on my abdomen. The monitor was all black and white and grainy and i'm thinking don't we have the technology to be able to make some clearer pictures. I think this ultra sound technology has been around for like 30 years and i don't think it has improved. I've seen the pictures of my friend's babies ultra sounds and they point out thier little hands and feet and i have no idea what i'm loking at, but i play along. it's like that color thing that was big 10 years ago and some peopel looked at it and relaxed their eyes and could see a dragon in the mess of colors and other people just saw the colors. that's what looking at an ultra sound is like. tomorrow i'll post the pics of my tea party at the tea place in tarrytown, NY where my niece and i had a tea party with my friend tina.

sarah is out of the office

well, i had high hopes for my top 5 80s tv show crushes, but due to my lack of computer access at my parents house (read: my dad is a major computer hog and i can't do my research) its gonna have to be post poned.... i'm in NY and on saturday night i partied my ass off. which is really fun, but when i stop to look around at my other friends who have children or just got married, i'm starting to think there's something wrong with me. i'm gonna be goldie hawns character in that movie where she tracks down her party friend from the 60s (susan sarandon) who's a boring suburban mom and tries to get her to relive her glory days, which you can never do, and goldie hawn feels like a big loser, which is what im feeling. sure i party with celebrities and have a cool job, but it's not as glamorous as it seems, it's just a job, like any other job anyone else has to go to every day. I guess being home is bringing me down.

this week

i realize that many people this week have a lot of travelling to do. threfore i don't expect people to want to know all my goings on. however, i will still be doing that, but much like the best of howard stern when he's off for the week, i'm going to do my much anticipated series "TOP 5 1980 TV SHOW CRUSHES." IT originally was conceptualized as my top 5 sitcom sons crushes but since i didn't have the hots for DJ on roseanne or danny pinturo on "whos the boss" i had to expand my options, see how flexible i am! Anyway, it starts monday with #5 and goes until friday when i reveal my # 1 80s t.v. show crush!!!!!!

olive branch

my boss who i had a falling out with over 2 months ago and who i have not spoken to since was nice to me last night. we worked late and the guys on the staff wanted to order pizza from quickies, i did not want pizza, how many n ights can a girl eat pizza before she is admitted into duke university's fat rehab center. so i kept suggesting the daily grill and really put up a fight. my boss finally went with the daily grill, i thought that was nice of him. last night i went home late and packed for NYC. i leave tonight after the taping. I had grand intentions of getting up early and going to yoga this morning, but when the alarm went off, i just rolled over and fell back asleep. oh well. I can't wait to go to NY. I'm having b'fast with a bunch of my girls tomorrow morn at my fave b'fast place that i've been going to since i was a kid! aawww yeah!!!

i have a weird job part II

yesterday we were in the writers room talking about dybner and his diaper, more specifically his heat pad that looks like one of those maxi pad belts from the 70s. anyway, for some strange reason he decided to take it off in the middle of the re-write the night before and i didn't know what was going on, so i screamed a little drawing attention to him... oopps. well the writers tore him a new one. so yesterday they were making fun of him for it and asked him how he hurt his back, he said pilates, that just unleashed another round of barbs and i said don't feel bad dybner, none of these guys have worked out in years. that made mark another writer upset and he challenged me to a race, a 100 yard dash. so all the writers and production staff come running outside to see the big race. mark only wanted to run about 60 yards and i kept asking to stretch it out since i'm a distance runner. anyway, gregg started to make it an event and pulled people off the stage to come out and watch. there were like 30 people there to watch me GET MY ASS SMOKED!! mark was so far ahead he even turned around and ran backwards and show boated a little, which i thought was in poor taste!

coming soon...

my "TOP 5 SITCOM SONS OF THE '80S CRUSHES"... FEEL FREE TO SUGGEST ANY, BUT I HAVE MY FAVES prettttttttty much narrowed down...

what did you do at work today?

like most of you know, i'm a comedy writer for a tv show. and most days we just sit and pitch jokes and story ideas in a conference room. however yesterays re-write was hilarious. we were trying to come up with a line for one of our characters who is trying to make a play on words using the word boob in a movie title (circa 1979). so for literally 15 mins, my job and the job of the other writers was to sit and shout out names of movies with the word boob in them. f or example some of the pitches were as follows: kramer vs. boob, rocky boob, cannon ball boob, invastion of the boobie snatchers, boob over river quai, you get the drift. at the end of this run, one of the writers pretended to be his wife when he got home and asked"what did u do at work today?" because literally it's the weirdest job. P.S. "invasion of the boobie snatchers" won out and made it in the script!

girls night

last night was girls night at my friend amy's house. it was so much fun. we had a good showing, about 8 girls and we just got together and caught up and talked about telluride where we're going for new years and ate pizza (as i drove over there i swore i wasn't going to have any, oops, i did) and amy the hostess, sliced up apples and had caramel fondue to dip the apples into for dessert! YUMMY! HAD SOME OF THAT TOO. turns out i have no self control. i wanted to go to NY looking slim and slender for the holidays, i like losing weight before i go home cause then everyone who hasn't seen me in a while, oohs and aaaahs about how great i look (i know i'm insane) but alas this time that's not going to be the case. i weigh exactly what i weighed 6 months ago. I recently got back into yoga and have gone 3 times in the last 5 days, including 7 am yesteray morning. I can't get up for anything, but i can get up for yoga! how come yoga is an obsessive excercise, i guess cause it makes you feel so goooood! I also went to Macy's yesteray and bought all these cute clothes for my neice. I spent like 100 bucks, but it was worth it. I got this cute velvet coat from Guess jeans which is purple and a cute shirt to wear underneath and then a cute green sweater witha purple flower thingy on it and it has a white t-shirt underneath, it's so adorable. I can't wait until she puts on a fashion show.

art walk

went to the art walk yesterday in downtown LA. all these artists open up their lofts and show their art. made me realize that most art sucks! there were a few photos i liked and one artist who's name i can't remember, but pretty much not impressed. i think being an artist must be a hard job. then i had a date with will, we went to see jar head with my friend bernadette and her FIANCEE!! they got engaged last weekend and i had helped him pick out the ring, but couldnt' really talk about it on my blog for fear of bernadette finding out that he had been ring shopping. so we had a double date and will has strepp throat so him and i went back to his apt. and just hung out for a couple of hours. i leave for NY on friday!! can't wait

weekend

on saturday my roomie stacey and i went to the staples center to see a woman's tennis tournament. very fun. we saw maria sharapova, lindsey davenport, mary pierce and some other girl. the court was blue, that was fun and it was fun to see the staples center turn into a tennis venue, very cool. then i went to my friend carri's 30th birthday party where she had a guy from mississippi who she met on the internet and who have been corresponding for like 6 months over phone/im/internet and he flew in for the party. he's peruvian and kind of a muscle head, although he says he's a doctor and drives a porshe, who knows if any of this true. the only thing i know is true is that he has a flat top, straight out of 60s military shows. very strange that i actually know someone who actually did one of those internet long distance things, he could be a serial killer! but fun party, fun to see all my friends who i haven't seen in years!!!

hiding

i'm hiding in my office so i won't have to go on stage, where i'm supposed to be, because that damn chocolate fountain is back and the bottom of my jeans are covered in chocolate drippings due to the non stop dipping of pretzel rods and marshmallows into the fountain. i have no self-control!!! SOMEBODY STOP ME!!

got a shit load of jokes in yesterday script, oh yeah!!! then went with kristin to Burke Williams spa and sat in the hot tub and got massages. Mine was pretty sick since I have sciatica and my massueuse just went to town on my lower back and now it's very sore. I also went to yoga yesterday morning before work. All these things i'm trying to do to make my scaitica go away. I'm very excited, i leave for NY a week from today to go home for thanksgiving!! and i get to see my babies, rowan and liam, my neice and nephew!! i'm so excited.

working for a living

so i worked yesterday and then went to the gym for 1.5 hours!! i can't believe it myself, but i ate a lot yesterday, so i had to balance it out. I think i saw some muscles peaking out of my shoulders, but don't get too excited, it could be an optical illusion. then i went home and watched Martha Stewart apprentice, i'm really starting to get into it. I'm going to NY a week from tomorrow for 10 days for thanksgiving, and I cannot wait. today is pancake day on the stage (make your own) so i'm gonna head down and make myself a chocolate chip smiley face pancake!

accupuncture

yesterday morning, i rose very early to go to get accupunture. for those of you who are only willing to take what the western medicine doctors give you, you are sadly missing out. Last year I went to get treated for anxiety and it was truly a life saver. The drs. I go to are famous in LA, yes yes, all the celebs go there. I was coming out as helen hunt was going in (wait, is she still a celeb) but now I'm going back for anxiety maitenance and more importantly, sciatica.(sp?) I think. I tore my hamstring while in chile a year and a half ago and decided to do nothing about it, strangely it hasn't gotten better, but has gotten SO MUCH WORSE. who knew if you neglected a health issue it would get worse. anyway, my leg feels awesome right now. I"m telling you accupunture is the way to go if you have a problem that western medicine will throw pills at just to aid the pharamceutical companies and get them richer!! On a side note, i think Will gets home from mexico either today or tomorrow, i wonder if we're still dating? I guess I'll know if I ever hear from him again.

oops, my blog is screwy

I wrote my blog yesterday and i didn't publish. Ugg!! (boots) anyway, i went to go see the new harry potter movie last night with my friend Liz. I get to see it before it comes out due to the fact tha I'm a member of the WRiters Guild of America. Sure, we have crappy health insurance and can't get a mammogram until we're like 40, but hey who's complaining when i can see an awesome movie for free!! I took my friend Liz andshe's very lucky since I'm friends with numerous harry potter fans! YOU'RE WELCOME, LIZ! This morning I brought into work 2 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts for the staff. YUMMY, it's funny when you do something like this, all the women are lik e"thanks a lot sarah" in a sarcastic, i hate you for bringing in fattening foods tone and the men are like "thanks a lot sarah," in a psyched, we get donuts child like tone!! Very funny albeit not surprising!

fall cleaning

last night I came home and looked at one of my sweaters which is super cute, but is riddled with holes and decided to donate it. that set off a 3 hour cleansing that ended up with me with 4 bags of stuff to donate to goodwill including a stereo and camera and a big bag of garbage. not sure where this inspiration came from, i think maybe it was becasue yesterday I bought a new laptop, ipod speakers, guitar stand (not to play a guitar, but I have an electric guitar signed by dave matthews i want to display) a new printer and a mini breathalizer (a very strange purchase indeed, but a smart one in LA) anyway, maybe I was trying to make room for my new purchases. strangely, if you looked in my closet, you couldn't tell I threw out so much stuff, how is that possible? I can tell of course. I also organized shelves and folded all my clothes so every thing is so nice and neat looking, yay me!

prime

went to go see Prime last night, it was actually funny. it was girls night at the movies, I got together 5 of my girl friends and we watched a cheasy romantic comedy. anyway, before the movie my firend liz made kristen and I dinner, it was v. yummy and then we walked over and met my other friends. It's a movie about a 37 yr old dating a 23 year old. I'm 31 dating a 27 yr old and liz is 28 texting and wanting to make out with a 23 yr. old, so we related to the movie.

halloween in vegas pics

pictures finally

here are some pics of the Lt. Dan band with gary sinise as the bass player. His band threw a party on the lot on friday night.

KOI

last night I went to dinner with my girlfriends, kristin and bernadette to KOI, this sushi hot spot in LA. It's been open for a number of years but I've never been. It has the same chef as Katsuya in Studio City which is my fave sushi place. anyway, regardless of the snooty factor, I really liked the ambience. When i walked up to the place a number of paparazzi were poised outside with their cameras. a lot of celebrities go to KOI, so i was excited to see who was inside, but when I walked around I didin't see anyone famous. B and K and I waited for our table on the outside patio and I had a clear shot of the cameramen hoping to catch someone famous. this happens a lot, when you drive past restaurants in LA, you can tell if a celeb is inside if there are paprazzi waiting outside. anyway, no one famous came in or out until suddenly, flashbulbs start going off in my face and I'm all excited and in walks... WILL SMITH...'S COUSIN from the fresh prince of bel air. I was bumming. after dinner, which rocked, I was waiting outside for the car when I see my friend will, who's a cast member on saturday night live, walking up the street. he was on his way to meet his friend and we all joined them for about an hour and just hung out. Will is the nicest person in the history of the world!!

pictures

pictures from this weekend from the Lt. Dan Band and my party in vegas will be posted tomorrow if my computer cooperates!

Johnny sweep the leg update and more

well, it turns out my friend Liz who, if you read below has wanted to meet johnny sweept the leg/billy zapka from karate kid her whole life and I finally introduced the two and they partied all night on saturday. well the story continues, turns out, Liz and my roomate stacey went to a party after the first party on saturday night and at the 2nd party there was a guy there dressed as... BILLY ZAPKA/JOHNNY SWEEP THE LEG!! that's hilarious. for those of you who don't know on sunday morning, i went to vegas for about 20 hours for a party thrown by a friend of mine at Pure at caesars. So I was up all night on sunday until 4 am drinking and dancing and then had to get up at 6am to catch a flight back to LA. You can't even imagine the shape I was in at work yesterday. I ran into one of my co-workers in the boarding area and i don't even really remember talking to him, i was a total mess. thankfully we got off of work early and I went home and slept the afternoon away. Will, the guy I've been kinda dating left for mexico today and I was hoping to get a chance to see him last night before he left, but I had to call and be like, i'm in so much pain, tonight ain't gonna happen!

Johnny sweep the leg

My friend liz is obsessed with Johnny Sweep the Leg from the karate kid. His real name is billy zapka and he played Ralph Macchio's blonde nemesis. He was the quintessential bad boy in every 80s movie. Anyway, I know him randomly through a friend of a friend. So when my friend liz found this out, she nearly lost her mind and it's all she has been talking about for 2 years, when is she going to meet johnny sweep the leg? I'm quite convinced this is the whole reason why she is friends with me in the first place. anyway, I find out that he's going to be at a halloween party I had been invited to, and immediately told Liz that her time had finally come. So she's dressed as Rainbow brite and me with my cowgirl hat head up to the party. and because it's a halloween party and people's faces are covered in masks, etc, she scanning the crowd constantly to see if she can spot him. Well he finally arrives and comes up to the people I was with and we're all talking and LIz RUNS AWAY! she got so nervous like it was Jesus Christ himself. I kept warning her I was leaving at midnight and if she wanted to meet him, she better get it together or else her dream will never be fully realized. She was so nervous I was going to embarass her by making it a big deal, why she would think this I"ll never know, but anyway, I finally got her to come and get an introduction. I kept his girlfriend occupied while she chatted him up, my guess is she never dreamed she was going to meet him while wearing a rainbow brite costume, not the dream outfit you want to be in when you meet the biggest crush of your life. she texted me on sunday and said she hung out with him the rest of the night and even worked up the courage to get pictures with him! way to go, liz!!

the lt. dan band

So friday night was the taping of my episode that I wrote. it went really really well, i was so proud of myself. my cousin hillary, who is a freshman at a christian college in the O.C. came with a bunch of her friends and after we went to a party thrown by Gary Sinise, from CSI: NY. He has a band called the Lt. Dan Band, the name of his character from forrest Gump, and they're a cover band. The party was on Seinfeld street on the studio, where all the exteriors for the shows that take place in NY shoot. The party was rocking, a ton of people from the studio came and there was free drinks and food and the they had tables set up and those heat lamps to keep us all warm. It was a great time. I have pictures, but I have to post them tomorrow!

a cricket

there's a cricket in my office and it's driving me crazy!! help me! where is it? i can't see you, but I here you, you jackass!

awesome food

if you've ever been to LA and not gone to Dan Tana's restaurant in west hollywood, you're missing out. went there last night with Will, he'd never been, it is an old hollywood italian stomping ground! you walk in and you can't help but to immediately fall in love with the ambience. the waiters there all have been working there for over 20 years, not your typical LA waiters who actually want to be actors. Anyway, we got there and had to wait for a table, I've never seen this place so packed before, i think it was becuse of the world series and the bar is a must go to in LA as well as the restaurant. we had a few drinks and then the matri'd seated us and we just people watched. The food was fantastic, I had a chicken parm and a few glasses of wine. Will ordered the steak and insisted I try some, I didn't have the heart to tell him I don't eat red meat, people judge you a little when you say that. I just don't like the taste, but they have to inject their personal views on you. However if I said I didn't like the taste of asparagus, they would not even waste their time trying to convince me otherwise. anyway, all in all, I had a great time on my 4th date, we shall see where it goes from here. he goes to mexico on tues. for a week, so i'll have a little break from dating.

boring

i'm boring today. got into to work to find out we were'nt doing anything this morning cause of casting, so i walked to the gym on the stuodio lot and worked out. had to buff up my arms for my date with will tonight as I will be doning a slutty shirt from nordstroms. don't worry, it's preppy westchester slutty, not call girl vegas slutty. last night we worked late and i went to the gym. i'm falling asleep just listening to my life!

squid and the whale

Went to go see the squid and the whale with my friend jackie last night. It was really good, but sad to see what divorce can do to a family. Anyway, you should go see it, the music is awesome. also, i sprained my ankle and am going out with will again on wed. night!!!!

pumpkin carving

Last night my group of friends and I gathered at my friend kristin's house for pumpkin carving and poker. For those of you who don't know, the word is pronounced pump-kin, not PUNKIN!!!! For the love of come on now!! please just say it right. anyway, our pumpkins came out so super cute. I also made my famous cupcakes in cake cones with white frosting and a candy corn on top. you bake cake batter in the ice cream cake cones for 25 mins, they're really really good. After the pumpkin carving, we had dinner (potluck) and poker. I had too many glasses of wine to really enjoy poker, so I went all in on a hand and lost so I could go upstairs, watch t.v. and sober up. It was so much fun, I'm so delighted with us all!!

table read

today was the table read for my episode, and it went awesome, really couldn't have gone any better, probably the best table read we've had all season!!!! I worked my ass off on that script, so it was nice to see my hard work pay off! it was really really funny! aw man, it was nice to rub it in the faces of certain people who i work with!!!!

3rd date breakdown

ended up going with black pants instead of a skirt. the shirt I borrowed from my v. fahsionable friend did not go well with the skirt. anyway, we went to dinner at the farmers market at the french restaurant, I had some sort of goat cheese salad, which i enjoyed. I think i like first date will even more now. Hmmm, i'm not sure how well it went though. He paid again and when I tired to, he said "you can get next time," whihc you think sounds promising, but it has been my experience (100% accuracy actually) that if a guy says that, I never hear from them again! also went ring shopping with my friends boyfriend for an ENGAGMENT RING!! that was totally fun, sparkly jewelry is fun and so girly to try on, i loved it!!!

mid-week blues

I'm going with a skirt tonight on my 3rd date. I have consulted with numerous ladies and this is the way we decided. This morning we auditioned Santa clauses for my episode. It was very cool. I would hate to be an actor though, it sucks, going from audition to audition. And i'm sure these santa looking guys always see each other at every santa audition this town has.

elizabethtown

Last night i worked out with my trainer from 6-7 and planned to pick my friend up at 7:45pm to go see elizabethtown. so i had nothing to do for 45 mins and i would've been insane to go all the way home, so I went to the newsroom, a restaurant in bev. hills and sat at the counter and ordered a glass of wine, to celebrate turning in my 2nd draft of my script. the table read is on friday morning, anyway, then i realized I probably should eat, so i ordered scrambled eggs and toast, yes for dinner. Then i picked up LIz to go see elizabethtown, but we hadn't seen each other in a while so we went to a later show and went to the restaurant at the Arclight theatre to catch up (which has really good food and wine FYI) and I had 2 more glasses of red wine. The movie was just okay but seriously, SERIOUSLY, orlando bloom is SO FREAKIN' HOT!! I love him maybe too much! I'm also going out with first date will again on wednesday! I noticed I don't make fun of him to my friends. Which is strange cause I make fun of every guy I go out on a date with, which is "not very honorable" says my dad, but it's funny! But I can't find anything to make fun of will about, so that's a good sign.

Notre Dame

Well, for those of us who are Notre Dame fans we had a devastating loss on on saturday against those cocky USC trojans. I'm still recovering. However, the ball breakers, my soccer team, finally won a game on saturday. Granted the other team only had 7 players and we had a full squad, but still, WE KICKED ASS! I did the AIDS walk yesterday, 6 miles, with my friend Carrie who I went to high school with. It was a great time and I raised over $600 for that cause! I am totally hooked on that Grey's Anatomy show, tried as I did to not have another appointment t.v. show i had to give in!

I was wrong

apparently I'm much better at hitting 50 MPH baseballs than I thought. I nailed a few out of the park so to speak since we were batting in a cage. Anyway, first date will wasn't as good as me, so then I was embarrassed for me because i'm a girl and what am I doing being so good at batting? anyway, after that we watched some teens do dance revolution, a video game that has a dance foot pad and then on the screen it tells you which pad to hit and you have to coordinate it to hit as the arrow scrolls. Here's a picture of it, not the one we were at, but a pic I found on the web. So we watched and kinda laughed at these dance revolution fanatics, complete with all the moves memorized, they wore gloves to grip the steady bar and ankle supports. One guy played a few rounds, then broke out his AXE deodorant during his break to refresh! It was quite insane. after that we got drinks and food at mexicali in studio city and then went to a party with his friends in hollywood. I had a great time, he's still very cute and sweet. I'm taking it one day at a time, this is a foreign concept to me as I usually over analyze every aspect of every guy I date and every they say, wear and do! But so far he's pretty cool.

correction

my brother, Dan, has pointed out that I am too young to have watched mary tyler moore on her show and it was not due to parental restrictions. I do however know for a fact that I was not allowed to watch the love boat due to bikinis. also my friend cathy pointed out that that Captain stubbing from the love boat (who is on our show this week) played a character on the mary tyler moore show and that character name was murray! I'm going on stage to watch the taping and get a glass of wine!

big day

I made mary tyler moore laugh. Yeah, it was cool. She wanted to meet the writing staff of the show and the director pointed us out (it's all men and me, the other girl is out of town) and she said "nice to meet you guys" and then looked at me and said "forgive the use of guys" and I said "that's okay, i'm more masculine than half of them anyway." you might have had to be there. Going on a date with first date will tomorrow night, we're going to the batting cages and drinks. how to look cute at a batting cage? that was my suggestion FYI, i thought we already did dinner and drinks, and i thought let's mix it up a little and if i don't like him, i'll still have fun trying to hit baseballs, which truth be told I don't know how to do. See, i have been told that I intimidate men, so the sheer fact that I can't hit any balls should dispel that concern. NOw if only I could stop quoting shakespeare and dealing with quantum physics problems like einstein, I might have a shot!

mary tyler moore

so mary tyler moore is filming our show this week. Everyone is very excited about this, I don't really know too much about ms. moore. I guess she was on a t.v. show a long time ago, but since i wasn't allowed to watch t.v. growing up, I'm not familiar with this reference. My friend dybner told me that her show did a lot for single women in the work force, her character was a single woman in the city with a career, she was a pioneer of sorts. So now I really like her, seeing as I'm all these things, except the pioneer part, i'm not braving any new territory, I feel like evertying has already been discovered. anyway, mary, if I may be so bold to refer to her as such is really funny! She puts such an interesting spin on all the jokes she delivers, i think she has a future! she's going to be on 3 episodes, so I'm going to get a picture with her and when I do I"ll post it. we also have the guy from the love boat on this week too, the guy who played captain stubbing. The love boat was another show I was not allowed to watch, my father said he didn't like his children seeing all the women running around in bikinis! Anyway, captain stubbing is also hilarious and seems like he's 40 years old! I wonder if he's single...

Pick up your tickets at will call

so first date will finally called!! Hallejulah (is that how you spell that?) anyway, he called this afternnon and left a message and asked me out for this weekend. I have to call him back aafter the gym. Aw yeah, i'm very psyched. I think he's like 27 years old and probably doesn't want to get married, but he'll have to if I trap him, right? Hahahaha! I'm just kidding. I've become obsessed today with the Kayne West song, gold digger. I love that song, I stole it off the internet and now I can't stop listening to it! I'm not even sure what he's saying, the words are probably horribly offensive to those in the office closests to me, but still. So tomorrow is the jewish holiday yom kippor, the day of atonement and you can't eat or something. It's my one payback day for all the "giving up during lent crap" i go through for 40 days. I usually give up sugar and my Jewish colleagues love to eat treats in front of me, it's pure torture!!

do we have a dial tone?

so no word from first date will. that's def. not a good sign. I think some girls on my soccer team have guys they want to set me up with, if not, i'm so f-ed! I"m 31, i'im a total old maid! I'm going to die alone with all my cats, first i have to get cats though, and I don't even really like cats. yesterday after work I worked out and watched t.v. and read my New yorker, I used to have a friend who went out every night of the week and i went out with her, but now she has a boyfriend and isn't nearly as fun, so my social life has def. been curtailed.

oatmeal cookies

yesterday, all i ate were oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. that's it, now i have a huge sugar headache! I played soccer on saturday so I could barely move, and it was all I had in my fridge to eat! Yes, i'm like a frat guy.

Rowan

today is my nieces (and Goddaughter) Rowan's third birthday. I wasn't able to attend the princess party festivities, but I was thinking about her. I love her to pieces.

first date

I had a first date last night with this guy Will. He's totally cute and funny and sweet and now, for the first time in a VERY long time i want a second date. I think he had fun too, but you never know. I always pretend i'm having a great time on a date with a guy i don't like and i never am. I never thought about pursuing a career in acting, but by the way the guys i go out with think i'm totally into them, i really should start thinking about it. anyway, we had dinner and then he suggested we get drinks and we had a few and then we went back to the restaurant to get our valet cars and they had closed up shop. so we went to the next valet stand down the road, they had our cars, but when they pulled them up, they left them running in the middle of the traffic so we both had to run out and get them, leaving for a very awkward, rushed goodbye. the next day I called him and thanked him for dinner, we talked for like 20 mins and then when he went to hang up he said "TALK TO YOU SOON." Now, what does that mean? It's pretty vague, does that mean, i won't be talking to you soon? or does he sincerely mean You'll be hearing from me soon. I really don't know. I'm completely stumped! I guess time will tell. I also think life is getting me back for all the guys who wanted to go on a second date with me and i was like nuh-uhn!

NEW YEARS EVE

Well, after much searching and researching, my friends and I have finally booked our place for new years eve!! WE'RE GOING TO TELLURIDE, CO!!! I cannot wait. We got 2 houses next door to each other and about 16 people are going for about 5 days!! It's mostly my LA couple friends, and a few singles thrown in, including my friend Amy from new york who was visiting LA last weekend and some how got invited. I predict right now that amy and I will be kissing bandits at 11:59pm 12-31-2005. Beware boys for telluride, you've been warned!!!

keep the past where it should be

I got an email today from my more recent ex. We started emailing each other last week, i just felt compelled to cause I have no other male attention going on. Anyway, in it he told me he had hung out with my friends about a month ago and there was this girl who was hanging out with them he'd never met before. He said she had just the right amount of jaded-ness and moxie. so i'm thinking HE TOTALLY LIKES HER. So i did some recon to find out her sitch, turns out she's dating my friend noah, who is dating many other people too, but when I told noah about mr. ex he was like "why was he asking you about her?" and that got me thinking WHAT AN ASSHOLE!! I'm his ex and he was asking me about another girl. boys are so freakin stupid. Also on the EX front, about a year and half ago I was dating 3 guys at once. One of the guys was Dave and we only went out on 2 dates, and then i left the country for 2 months and then started dating the first guy i was talking about. anway, when i returned to the US he called me a few times, but I never called him back. Well, about an hour ago I ran into him and it was v. awkward. I gave him a hug and it was returned but it was not up to his fullest huggable potential. Anyway, he looked good and now i'm super pissed at myself for not dating hiim and going with the other asshole. AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

no go

It was a no go to yoga last night. I am so stressed out writing my script, that I simply could not pull myself away from the computer, however, my friend erika offered me a glass of wine if I came to her house to watch gilmore girls with her. It was a really hard decision, but I went with the wine. I needed a little medicinal treat from all the hard work i've been putting in writing this script. I don't think i've ever worked so hard on anything. It's not great yet, i still have until tomorrow, but I don't think it sucks, so that's something to be proud of. However, every writer who has handed in their script and gotten notes back has stumbled out of the writers room in a daze, getting their script shreded, so I'm buckling my seat belt for the worst. I've been told they don't like anything unless they wrote it. So says the other writers.

frozen yogurt

What is healthy about frozen yogurt? I just had some for lunch and it got me thinking. It's not like regular yogurt, which on it's packaging talks about good bacteria for your intestines or some crap, and the kind I had had no sugar or carbs or flavor for that matter. I'm thinking it's just a bunch of chemicals and that can't be good for me? So I eat it and then tonight I'm going to yoga to do something good for my body, but is that just cancelled out by my eating this Frozen chemical conncotion? Not sure. I did go to the gym last night and do like a million lunges and I'm more sore every time I stand.

tea

My girlfriends and I got all dressed up and had ladies tea, high tea i believe it's called at the Beverly Hills Hotel yesterday afternoon. It was lovely. We also had cocktails, cause we're not that civilized. We chowed down on tiny sandwiches and scones and I think I personally went through 4 little collated cream jars and 4 strawberry jam jars which is strange cause usually i prefer raspberry. They all talked about dorky their husbands are, while I just continued to spread jam on scone after scone, i wanted to yell SERIOUSLY SOMEONE TAKE AWAY THE KNIFE!!! I had gone to weight watchers that morning and lost a pound so I thought the best way to reward myself was to eat the beverly hills hotel restaurant out of their days alloted food!

wow

as of now I can't discuss what took place at my workplace yesterday as the fallout hasn't finished. Suffice it to say I blew up at a superior who has harrassed me for 10 months and a few "F" bombs were dropped. It ruined my day and my night as I had been invited to one of the best parties this town has, and I couldn't even have fun. Last year I saw justin timberlake and jake gyllenhal and christina aguilera. this year, I saw a few b level celebs and that's it. also I had no patience for the crowd after the day I had. i wish I could write what happened, but i have to be really careful... BOO!!

chocolate milkshake

so my personal (re: dating) life is currently on hiatus, involuntarily, I assure you. so i have learned to appreciate the smaller things in life. I ordered this body wash by Philip B. i think he's some fancy guy, and the flavor is chocolate milkshake. I got a sample of it at some beauty supply store and fell in love with it, only to learn that it costs, when you go to buy an actual bottle $30 for 12 oz. So I won't drink this weekend to pay for it. Anyway, I got it in the mail last night and immediately went home and took a shower and oh, my god, it might be the worst thing someone on weight watchers can torture themselves with. it smells so good, you could literally eat the entire thing, although it says not to on the warning label! The good news is, if I am ever asked out again and use this stuff before the date, I will smell so enticing the guy won't know what to do with himself... or me for that matter.

big league chew

in our office we have a kitchen that's filled with any kind of candy, cereal, chip, soda, treat you can ever imagine exists. And I wonder why I'm 10 pounds overweight. anyway, yesterday during one of my many procrastinations from writing my script, i wandered into the kitchen and started looking around to see what looked good. Well, lo and behold I found big league chew. Remember that chewing gum from the 80s that looked like pouches of dip? I was so excited I literally shoved the entire thing in the mouth and i looked like the cartoon guy on the front of the package with a tennis ball sized lump in his mouth. I also discovered Fun Dip, but it's like sour apple or some shit so I'm waiting until they at least get blue watermelon, something half way decent!

University of Washington

My friend, Steve Maley from my hometown in NY is a PHD canidate at UW. So we met up after the game and had an awesome dinner in the U district at this Thai place called Thai 65! It rocked and i litterally would've eaten the table cloth I was so hungry so it hit the spot. then we walked around the U. which is an amazing campus. Not as beautiful as boulder of course, but a distant second! Anyway, he also took me on his brand new scooter he tools around seattle on. I made it pretty clear to him I did not want to ride on this thing, so he said I didn't have to, but ended up bringing it anyway and leaving me with no options. I hate to admit it, but it was really fun to ride on. I had a helmet and held on for dear life. It was until the end of our trip when I asked when he got it and he reavealed to me he had only just bought it days before: "I was hoping you weren't going to ask me that earlier!" there's steven in front of his old building (where he did his work for his masters). I'm not sure you can see the beautiful roses, but there are tons of them, really classes up the joint i think!

seattle

I went to seattle this weekend. I had such a blast. I took my 72 yr old uncle to a seahawks game and you could't have ordered up a more beautiful, sunny day if you tried. The sky was a perfect blue and it was the most fantastic fall day to take in a game at the new-ish Qwest field. The Seahawks had one of the best games my uncle has ever seen (and he's watched them all!) Our seats were incredible, compliments of my friend Jeff in LA who's a season ticket holder and the new stadium is just state of the art, all the bells and whistles!

internet dating

The happy pictures of people who met at whatever particular internet dating website, like eharmony, are such BS. There's no way these people met on eharmony. they are way too good looking and I've been on eharmony now for like 6 months and the only guys they send me are serious uggos! I have never had a hot guy sent my way.

MY DEEP DARK SECRET

We had a table read today and had to re-write the script. So the writers were split into 2 groups, the joke room and the story room. The writers who were sent in the joke room were given 16 jokes to make funnier. I was in this room. It's usually the same 8 people in the joke room and we usually put on music and pitch jokes until we get a few that make us laugh out loud. My friend Greg asked if anyone had their i-pod and I was like "i do." BIG MISTAKE. He puts it on random, and so first off, every 3rd song was dave matthews band which everyone knows is the only group I like. Then we heard a little moby, some damien rice and I'm thinking ok, maybe my taste in music isn't so bad... the very next song "When the Rain Comes Down," by FREAKIN' HILLARY DUFF! Oh, my God I have hillary duff on my IPOD and now people at work know it!! FINE I LIKE HILLARY DUFF SONGS. Okay? I have bad, horrid, horrible taste in music, now the whole world knows it!! she's terrible and i love it!! HEAR THAT, AMERICA!!! p.s. I always see her at my favorite sushi place. We have so much in common!!

corbin bernsen

I almost killed corbin bernsen driving into work today. You remember that guy who was the hot shot blonde lawyer from LA law? He's kinda cocky i think in that role and certainly was in Celebrity mole. Anyway, i'm driving to work along the storied mulholland drive and all of a sudden I take this tight turn and I'm face to face with Corbin who is jogging in my lane. For those of you who don't know mullholland is extremely dangerous for drivers due to the no shoulder and hairpin turns, let alone joggers out for a stroll. Can't this guy join a gym and hit the treadmill and not scare the bejesus out of me!!

dybner

Mr. alan dybner, my colleague and friend and only person I work with who knows about my blog has suggested (repeatedly) that I take off... my clothes! Just kidding, to take off the 2 postings about certain colleagues of mine on my show. He says and rightly so that you never know who could stumble on this thing and that it could effect my work environment. So I am going to take his suggestion, mostly to get him to shut up about it. Everytime I pass him in the hall it's "i think you should take that down," nonesense and I just can't take it anymore. He's single ladies, if you're looking for a nice Jewish boy. Here's his picture (he's the guy on the left) with my friend alyson and I drunk at my 30th bday. let me know if you want some dybner ass!! Also alsyon is single too, but she lives in NY.

new york times

In the new york times the other day they had an article about a poll of current Ivy league female students who say they intend on not having a career when they have children! I believe the number is about 60%.

"I've seen the difference between kids who did have their mother stay at home and kids who didn't, and it's kind of like an obvious difference when you look at it," said Ms. Abugo."

My mother is an Ivy League grad and was a stay at home mother and I'm kind of a nuerotic nut job! What say you?

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/national/20women.html

cookie dough chocolate cake

I made this amazing dessert today for my friend's emmy party. You take cookie dough, put it at the bottom of a cake pan and then pour cake batter over it and cook it like you would a cake! then you let it cool, sift a little confectioners sugar to dress it up and voila. It was amazing. I served it with some french vanilla ice-cream. At the bottom of the recipe it said "VOILA, YOU'LL GET BOOTY TONIGHT" Suffice it to say, I did not get booty, there were only like 10 people at this party and the only other single person that... not so much. However my booty did get bigger thanks to the 3 helpings of my cake I heaved onto my plate.

what?

people, please don't call me early on saturday mornings? what's wrong with you? You'd think my mother would know me well enough by now that I, like every other child she has, am not a morning person. Then again she still can't remember that I don't eat red meat (since 1993) am allergic to peanut butter (since 1989). I believe the words she says every time "I just can't keep track of what you do and don't eat. It's always changing!" I play on saturdays in a all women's soccer league. It's really fun, albeit, quite hot and sunny. So this weekend we played the "lady killers." They were a little dirty for my taste, I was getting shoved left and right. We lost 3-2 although the game was so close and really exciting. And our team actually gelled and really played well. At the end of the game one of the girls from the other team, during the good game good game good game high five line, asked me what college we played for. I was like Um, I'm 30!!!!! Now i know why these girls can run circles around me, I'm 10 years older than them. Well the exciting part of the game was at the end when Dalia who plays fullback yelled at Lauren who plays stopper, "Lauren, don't you ever tell me what to do during the game again! Show me some respect!" anyway, i came home, showered and found like 8 bruises I aquired during the game. It's official, I'm a pussy!

THERE IS A GOD!!

On every t.v. show they have a person who's sole job is to feed the cast and crew. During the week they lay out b'fast, lunch, snacks and more snacks. This area of the stage is called crafts service. Well, this week I show up and we have a new crafts service person. turns out our last person had been doing a crappy job. So last night at our filming the new person rented a chocolate fountain. it's basically a champagne fountain , but chocolate cascading down and you dip in a variety of options, i.e. marshmallows, strawberries, etc. well, i planted myself next to this thing and started sticking everything I found in it to see how it would taste, with an audience watching. Apparently I crossed the line when I stuck in a green pepper slice and someone who is not even an employee on the show, suggested I step back from the chocolate fountain. when I asked the crafts service lady if the chocolate foutain would be a permanent fixture at every taping she said, it would be at some, but she has other stuff she wants to break out!! I don't think i will be able to sleep at night until I see what could possibly be better than a chocolate fountain!

bakers dozen

My friend jenny baker, code name: bakers dozen, got engaged back in april to a great guy and had her engagement party (in june) at a minor league baseball stadium in hudson valley, NY. It was home of the Hudson Valley REnegades. It was such a blast. I cannot believe how young these guys looked and how unbelievably attracted i was to almost all of them. Aren't they barely legal? I guess barely legal is still legal. Anyway here's a pic from the party. the bride is in the middle, my friend amy on the right, myself on the left!

me and my siblings

So here's a picture of me and my brother and sister from vegas last month. we were there to say goodbye to my brother who was leaving for Iraq. aren't we so cute!!!

hump day

Last night I had girls night. Which is essentially, drinking wine and eating pizza night. It was so much fun. I have a great group of girls and I"m friends with all their husbands as well, yes I'm the only single one. But we all go skiing together, and get dinners together, etcc. Now I just want to meet a man who can fit right into this friends circle or else I shall be very sad.

kindergarten

Liam's first day of kindergarten. His dad (my bro) is in iraq, so he missed it, but here it is for all my friends. My niece is also in the pic and she looks (and acts, boy is she a troublemaker) so much like me it's scary!

empty tank

I'm heading to bed now, I'm tired. I worked out for over an hour today with weights. I better start seeing some freakin results. anyway, i went to work and worked out, my life is empty, i need a man, i'm desparate.. oh, wait is a woman supposed to say that? Not sure. well, at least I'll have great triceps!!!

product tester

Okay, so my sister writes for a high end magazine, i won't say which one, but anyway, they have their annual beauty issue coming out soon and I have been asked to be one of the product testers for the products they are going to be reviewing. I was sent an eye cream, a serum and a moisturizer. I'm very excited about this because I am utterly obsessed with free products, but more specifically free beauty products. The eye cream I like, but the serum so far is pulling way far ahead. It has cleared up my skin, so either hell has frozen over or this is one solid product. funny enough, I'm also testing out another type of product, lady toys. I have been asked to be a product test er for a friend's new sexy toys website. you know the ones you use when you're by yourself.... get it... anyway, I need to get some batteries before the reviews come in... I'll link you up to my reviews when I get a chance.

the peninsula

yesterday i spent the day at the peninsula pool in beverly hills. a friend of mine had a cabana there so i went to play with her and her baby! her daughter is 6 months and the cutest!! anyway, it was very decadent. I also hung out in the presidential suite where my friend was hosting a fantasy football draft with about 10 guys. Alcohol was flowing and after about 4 months of not feeling well enough to drink, i'm not ashamed to say, I had a lovely sidecar compliments of phil. it was great. anyway later that n ight i went out with them to an amazing steak house called Sterling, where the wine flowed freely. After that we headed next door to the cabana room, where we had a table and they brough over bottles of vodka and mixers. at some point in the night, i asked my friend if he had any single friends, he said his friend steve was single. I told him to send him over cause i was going to make out with him, a byproduct of the alcohol. anyway, steve comes over and I grabbed him and made out with him on the dance floor. oh what a night, so reminiscent of college!!!! now i need to recover. my body isn't used to this abuse!

cute jeans, slutty top?

I didn't do much yesterday, just worked (i'm a writer) then worked out (i'm a neurotic wanna lose weight-er) and talked on the phone for 45 mins with a guy I met on the internet personals. The onion website to be exact. He seems really nice and totally smart and funny. WE;re going out to a tapas and wine bar tomorrow night and i'm looking forward to it. I have had my fair share of bad dates, disastorous men, etc and Lord knows I need someting to renew my faith in humanity, and this world in general. I'm not going to become one of those bitter old women who is always lamenting about not meeting the right guy, i mean, i'm totally picky, so it's partially my fault... ok, maybe i will be the bitter lady, but give me a few years and a few more failed relationships and we'll re-evaluate where we are! not sure what to wear with this guy, kevin. should I go skirt, slutty top or jeans slutty top. girls think we look so cute in cute jeans and slutty top, but i have to be honest, I've gotten more feedback from cute skirt slutty top! oh, to be young and single.

sunday morning

today i had breakfast with my cousins who were visiting from out of town to drop their daughter off at college. I met this young lady when she was 10 months old, so to see her at 18 with a dorm room and checking out college guys, it was a bit alarming. where has the time gone? that old cliche. anyway, it's a christian college and if I knew how many hot guys were going to Chrisitian colleges when I was picking schools, my fate my have been a little different. Hallejuah, Amen! yes, i was checking out 18 yr, old Christian ass. Hey, i'm a woman. Then I watched the six feet under finale and was totally blown away. I wish I was even remotely as talented a writer as the writers on that show, or as talented an actess as Francis Conroy or talented in any arena for that matter!!!

fred segal

went to fred segal cafe for lunch today, seriously amazing food! why haven't I thought about eating there before? I can't believe no one has shared this great little lunch place with me, i feel betrayed by my city and it's inhabitants. anyway, if you go, try to the veggie and chicken combo, it will blow your mind. then i got my nails done. due to my neverending african parasite I had an attack of intestinal distress and decided to throw myself yet another pity party, take a vicodin and down a few glasses of wine...

daddy daycare

Had a second date with daddy day care, the totally hot guy i met at the oakland airport, who talked to me for 3 hours who i was TOTALLY psyched to go out with, only to find out he had an 11yr old who lives with him. Here's the deal, i'm so immature I cannot be a mommy to an 11 yr old! I can barely start my own car in the morning!! anyway, the 2nd date didn't go as well as the first, for some insane reason, he's agains rent control which make me against him!! But saw 40 yr old virgin which i thought was v. funny!

The Pub

had dinner at my friends house last night, they have a baby girl who is so freaking cute and has gotten so big. she's 5 months old, man i love babies! anyway, i have a second date tonight with a guy who i met at oakland airport. he is so cute and i was so excited for the 1st date until 2/3 way through he told me he had an 11 year old. PERSON. not like an 11 year old car or something i could get behind. anyway, he's 29 years old and he has a daughter who lives with him. i'm still turning that one over in my head if i really want to take this any further. I mean, i'm totally immature, i can't be around an 11 yrd old. Unless of course she has a subscription to Teen People! then i could like her. anyway, some people think it's no big deal. that i'm 30 and most likely i'm going to be meeting men with kids or divorced or with baggage. . we all have baggage, but yikes!! i'll let you know how it goes.

colonoscopy

I had a colonoscopy yesterday. it was totally fine, the procedure itself, but damn, the prep was brutal. you couldn't eat for an etire day, nothing at all, then you had to drink this laxative stuff and you shit your brains out, like nothing i've experienced my entire life!!!! wow, all night with that thing. anyway, turns out i have some f-ed up valve in my bowel. like i need another reason for men to be turned off of me

WHAT'S WRONG WITH WOMEN

riddle me this.... is it wrong to cancel a second date that you have kinda been looking foward to because you feel fat? I literally did this today, i feel fat, and was lying in bed thinking, i can't go on this date, especially after drinking this weekend, etc. So i asked the guy to resched. for tomorrow night. I'll let you know how it turns out.

the ex

I hate my ex. we were long distance, then he OBVIOUSLY started seeing someone where he lives, so he ignored me for a while because he didn't have the balls to tell me, then he dumped me, then we get back together for like a second, have a great time and then he comes to my birthday party and totally ignores me, like he's never met me before!!!! Literally, i was like what is his deal?!?! So then when he leaves, tells me he wants to hang out before I go back home, i don't call him because he ignored me at my birthday party. Then a month later, he sends me an email, that is so manufactured and gives this fake reason why he needs to talk to me, i fall for it reply back and never hear from him. Now all my friends are like "that was such a fake reason why he emailed you. He just wanted to know how much trouble he was in so he reaced out to you, and then as soon as you emailed him back, he knew he was ok and now doesn't care." well, if that's it, i hate being so fucking nice to people. The reason why i replied to him was because I thought I was helping his friend out for information on a country i travelled in. he said he was trying to help his friend out by getting info from me. what a lying sack of loser shit! I FUCKING HATE HIM!!!

the big announcement

So i've decided not to tell my friends anything about my dating life and will be strictly reporting on it in my blog. Why you ask? well, let me tell you a thing or two about women, they like to stick their nose in things they shouldn't. They are also very annoying. and i'm a woman, so i think i'm allowed to say this. when i tell my friends i have a date, i get innudated with so many questions about what I'm wearing, who he is, his profile name so they can look at him, where we're going, etc. I mean the list literallyl goes on and on, then the next day i'm bombarded with emails wanting to know how it went. then that's followed up by the daily questions about whether mr. X has called or emailed and then i feel terrible having to say no if i really liked the guy. anyway, this has led me to be able to tell only one person just to get the story off my chest, it's going to be you the public. and no one is probably reading this thing anyway, so that's even more of an incentive!

now all i have to do is get a date...

is this thing for real

nothing much has been going on the past few, i had another bad date, well not bad per se, but not promising, not sure those things go hand in hand. Anyway, tonight I have to go to NY for a friend's wedding. I'm wearing my roomates dress which is a little tight so instead of sitting on my ass here and typing this out, i should be at the gym, trying to make this thing look more flattering. oh well, anyway, I'm taking the red eye and plan to drug myself up with ambien to make sure I fall asleep instead of being kept awake by the overweight person next to me who hogs all the room, particularly the arm rest. Did you know that they have seat belt extendors?? Now, like I said I'm no slim jim but If i'm asking the flight attendant for a seat belt exetendor, i'd like to think i'd take a good hard look at my life and think maybe it's time to dial back on the doritos if you knwo what i'm saying.

dentist

I went to the densist this morning. I had to get a crown placed on my tooth. now I dont' know if you're familiar with a crown, but it's this tooth colroed thing they put on your toothe after a root canal. the tooth is dead and basically all but gone, so they take an impression of your tooth, send it off to some laboratory and charge you $1200 for it. Now yes, insurance pays for 1/2 of it, but still $600 is a fucking lot of money. anyway, so after a month of waiting for it to be made, i summon up the courage to go to the dentist to get it cememnted onto what's left of my back molar. dr. vander picks up the crown with a pair of tweezers, sticks it in my mouth and immediately proceeds to drop it down my throat! MY THROAT, DOWN IT GOES!!! I freaked out, started choking and somehow coughed and coughed because I was not letting this $1200 little thing go down my throat. I finally coughed so hard, I expelled the tooth, it came flying out of my mouth, flew across the room and hit the wall and landed on the floor. now i'm a germaphobe, but after all that I let the guy put the tooth in my mouth. I feel like i should've gotten a discount of some sort. don't you agree?

anyway, no news on my dating life this weekend. instead i went snowboarding with a bunch of friends in mammoth california. we got a condo and had a blast. the weather was perfect, the snow was amazing and even though I had to sleep in the bunk room with the rest of the single folk, it was worth it!!

first date

okay so i went out with this guy, we'll call him James, total first date, met him on the internet. Anyway, he shows up and he's totally cute, great, finally, super cute dude. Then he opens his mouth. all of a sudden Isaac mizrahi voice comes out. yes, he has a major effeminate lilt. Which is fine, so some men have a high voice, that's just fine with me, but when he told me how much he loved musicals and then went into vivid detail about how joey and dawson should have been together at the end of Dawson's creek. And i'm not talking just ssaying that, but going through season by season including season two where Joey was always working on dawson's projects and didn't have her own identity, so he can understand why they would break up then, but once she came into her own, he thought they should've gotten back together. So my only assumption is this guy is gay, is that wrong? even if he isn't, it's weird how a guy can be so cute, so smart (ivy league education) and me not be attracted to him, HOW IS THAT HUMANLY POSSIBLE?