recenet celeb sightings

I live one block from the 4 seasons hotel in bev hills. This is fine on most days but in 3 days in particular it's a total f-ing nightmare: golden globes, academy awards and the emmys.

this is because all the celebs are staying in the 4 seasons and their limos and town cars block my entire street, so much so that the bev hills police SHUT MY STREET DOWN this weekend!! um, ok, see i actually live here!!!!

but i had some good celeb sightings, most of them having nothing to do with the golden globes.

I saw ricky gervais walking around my street, dressed like a total schlub in a black tshirt and baggy shorts (its like 90 degrees here)


then i walked into church at good sheppard catholic church in bev hills next to Charo coochie coochie!



and finally on friday night I saw neil diamond without his toupee!



and on a final note, i've lost 3 pounds so far being jennifer aniston and following her diet!!!! yea i'm just as surprised as you are, but not really as all i eat is fresh fruit and veggies and lean protein (with a yogurt tossed in there every few days!)

I'm not being a good jennifer aniston

well day 1.5 started out very promising, but last night I walked to 3rd stop to meet bernie and kyle and steve for drinks. we hung out, talked about bernie madoff and then got a text from debbie and danny asking me to come over for a drink. So i left 3rd stop and walked over to thier place for a glass of wine. I love that everyone now lives in my neighborhood. Betsy, noelle, etc all moved here too and we're all meeting for brunch tomrs morn.

Now i meant to hit the gym this morning to be jen ann but i'm typing this from bed... it's 1030 am. yikes. my spa appt isn't until 3 but we're going to have lunch there, so i'm hoping i can motivate and hit the gym before!

robertson

there are so many great things about where i live. The least fave is the incessant paparrazi that are parked all over robertson blvd which is THE place to shop for the stupid starletts and reality show bimbos like the kim kardashian and paris hilton and brit. spears. I was once knocked over by a papparazzo chasing after kim kardashian and then had to run with a paparazzi swarm 3 months ago so I woudn't be stampeded by them in order for them to get a pic of heidi fucking montag from the hills. I mean can you imagine that being in my obit: "She was accidently stampeded to death by the papparazzi who needed to get a picture of heidi and spencer laughing at LC's clothing line at Kitson" what a way to go. I've also been mocked by one pap who laughed at me cause i tripped b/c i wasn't paying attention to where i was walking as i was also texting. He was from TMZ and filmed the whole thing. thanks.

anyway, yesterday I walked to the newsroom to get the us weekly that is going to change my life (although I also realized I dont have a boob job like jen anniston, but that's okay i still think I can get to look like her) and not one pap. to be found, it was so nice! Happy new year to me! It's also helpful to walk up roberston in the morning cause they're not there either, although then you might get attacked by the mean homeless man who loves me one day and asks me to take him to the movies and then yells furiously at me the next day! Pfft, men.

so that was my thurs. cruising robertson, playing tennis at the B.H. tennis club (thank God i'm back in LA where its warm and not barbaric temperatures, how does one play tennis in a tennis skirt outside in the middle of january in NYC... one does not!)

being jennifer aniston

okay so yesterday was my first day being jennifer aniston. Well really my only .5 day as I started my mission after lunch when I got the new us weekly with jen aniston on the cover telling me how i can look like her. So i thought, why the fuck not?! I can do that! My friends all say Sarah, it's her job to look that good, but my reply is, why couldn't it be MY job? I dont have a job that requires me to go to an office for a set amount of hours every day, so why couldn't it be my job.

anyway, these new bikini pics of Jennifer Aniston (heretoforward JA) from her vacay in mexico with courtney cox has made me very envious. and now I can do this. So today I've been very good, i did not eat white fish galore or multiple veggies and fruits, but i did drink carrot/coconut juice and eat sunflower seeds.

Now im not going to be unrealistic, i obviously not in a position to hire a personal yoga instructor to come to my house every day OR have the zone deliver food to me every day, so i will be improvising. I hiked runyon canyon this morning with stacy for 1.5 hours and i meant to go to the gym this afternoon but instead went to Natalyas to hang out. It's nice to be unemployed with so many other unemployed people. However, I will be working with Nat on her company doing brand management for C and B level celebs. I'm actually going to be her intern. She went to Harvard Business School so she's smarter than me since I dont seem to be going there fall 2009. But i digress...

I did eat one of nat's jenny craig meals. She wants to have a 2nd kid, but is starving herself down 35 pounds before she does. If you want a to build a new building, you dont build a second and third floor on an existing one, you start from the ground floor and build up, that's how she looks at pregnancy. So I did eat one of her jenny craig meals for dinner and so i'm well on my way to being jennifer aniston.

TOmorrow a.m i'm hitting the gym fiercely only to be followed by a 90minute hot stone massge/spa day. And sunday its early yoga (just like JA) followed by brunch at kings road with the girls and a little golden globes party action. Granted JA will probably be at the golden globes (i did that 2 years ago, so who needs to do that again... athough seeing jack nicholson crossing the wilshire blvd with me and his daughter was pretty amazing)

anyway I CANNOT WAIT TO LOOK LIKE JENNIFER ANISTON!! if it's as easy at US weekly says it is, I'll be hot in NO TIME. i need to start growing my hair longer and getting it dyed blonde, but one step at a time. I need to go buy some whitefish and veggies!!! WISH ME LUCK!