put on a happy face. I'm so exhausted putting on a happy face. but yet I continue to do so. all around me people I love are getting the craziest happiest news/experiences (most life changing, it's been quite a week for my friends: a new baby in boulder, an engagement in NYC!!)
yet the most exciting thing I did this week was floss.
And hope for my happy news!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
a whole new life...
I know my last post was depressing and i can't help that, well i also thought it was hopeful, how i was coming up with new ideas to cut back. but despite that, i was just trying to convey how every single second of every single day of every single week of every single month the past 2 years of my existance has miserable!
but things are looking up! today I realized that all the hair that fell out ( 3 months after a surgery, most of your hair falls out) anyway, the hair is starting to sprout back in and IT'S NOT GREY!!!!!! so that's good since I do have a lot of grey hair, so i was quite pleased! yay!
I know some of you are thinking "get a job" I hope you all know that now that the strike is over that is exactly what I'm trying to do, it just sucks that my agents really old the power in my career. none of you have any idea what that is like! i feel powerless and lacking any control over my fate.
BUT MY VISION BOARD IS TOTALLY GOING TO CHANGE THAT! I'M LOOKIN AT IT NOW AND CAN'T WAIT FOR ALL THE GREAT THINGS THAT ARE GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME!!!!
but things are looking up! today I realized that all the hair that fell out ( 3 months after a surgery, most of your hair falls out) anyway, the hair is starting to sprout back in and IT'S NOT GREY!!!!!! so that's good since I do have a lot of grey hair, so i was quite pleased! yay!
I know some of you are thinking "get a job" I hope you all know that now that the strike is over that is exactly what I'm trying to do, it just sucks that my agents really old the power in my career. none of you have any idea what that is like! i feel powerless and lacking any control over my fate.
BUT MY VISION BOARD IS TOTALLY GOING TO CHANGE THAT! I'M LOOKIN AT IT NOW AND CAN'T WAIT FOR ALL THE GREAT THINGS THAT ARE GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME!!!!
it's a mad mad mad mad mad mad world
I hate it when i have a friend who is envious of "all the time off" i have. yes if I had a job lined up in a year from now and coudl travel, i'd be envious too, but I have a friend who recently said "i wish I had months and months off." so let me disabuse anyone of the notion that having off a ton of time with no end and no paycheck in sight is anything but glamorous. And let me tell you why... I do not have a family member or husband to swoop in and save the day to pay my $10,000 in medical bills and all my expenses, that must be nice! Here's how i live my life.
I have to steal toilet paper from businesses.
I have to steal $1 coupons from the coffee bean so I can afford my daily fix (only can go 4 times a week now since it adds up pretty fast)
I've had to cut up all my credit cards.
I have to bring a yogurt to my friends house during the acadmey awards party because I can't afford the pizza everyone else is ordering
I refill my gallon water bottles for 25 cents each at ralphs
I walk to church, coffee bean and the grocery store so to avoid using gas
i spend every waking hour coming up with ways to save money! it's exhausting.
my friend told me recently to do something and then i could deduct it for business expenses on my taxes i said to her "um deduct it from what? I've earned zero dollars, i believe you have to earn money in order to deduct it."
being a hollywood writer is not an easy life, so please no one at home try it!
I have to steal toilet paper from businesses.
I have to steal $1 coupons from the coffee bean so I can afford my daily fix (only can go 4 times a week now since it adds up pretty fast)
I've had to cut up all my credit cards.
I have to bring a yogurt to my friends house during the acadmey awards party because I can't afford the pizza everyone else is ordering
I refill my gallon water bottles for 25 cents each at ralphs
I walk to church, coffee bean and the grocery store so to avoid using gas
i spend every waking hour coming up with ways to save money! it's exhausting.
my friend told me recently to do something and then i could deduct it for business expenses on my taxes i said to her "um deduct it from what? I've earned zero dollars, i believe you have to earn money in order to deduct it."
being a hollywood writer is not an easy life, so please no one at home try it!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
vision boards and some such
first off yesterday I was at the WGA working and went to the bathroom. I walked down the hall behind a woman who was also going to the restroom, she entered and then spun around while I was about to walk in and said "you're going into the wrong one?" then she said "oh, I thought you were a man!" When I inquired why she should think that seeing as... I DON'T LOOK LIKE A MAN OR AT LEAST I NEVER THOUGHT I DID, she said "oh because you're wearing black pants, because of the black pants." now I was wearing black sweatpants, since when did they become a gender specific garment?? So that really helped with my self-esteem!
Last night I went to amy's with berna and made vision boards!!! it was so super fun! it's basicallly a collage where you cut out things from mags that you want for your life and then you get them through the laws of attraction. We saw this on oprah and I guess it's an element of THE SECRET as well, but it basically is if you constantly look at the board and what you're working towards then you'll get it! We all said we have no idea if it works or not, but it can't hurt to try and also it can't hurt to do it independent of whether it will work or not since it's good to be reminded what you want from life! I'm super happy with how mine turned out! I made two actually because I had cut out so many pics and sayings that I needed a second one!! I guess I'm dreaming big!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
tues night i was at my friends house where i watch american idol every week. The couple ended up getting into a huge fight while I was there eating my chicken sandwhich. this is not a new phenomenon. couples often invite me over and then end up fighting in front of me and dont seem to mind that I'm there. why is this? because I DO seem to mine seeing as I hate confrontation even if I'm not directly involved in it.
last night i drove to el segundo to have dinner with my cousin steve and his family and my cousin patty and her family. patty was in from seattle and I hadn't seen them in a long time! it was nice to catch up, but i did realize one thing. when I'm alone in my apt/home office alone all day every day, I feel like I"m a totally normal persons, until i go out in public and open my mouth and say stupid shit... then i realize people must thing I'm barking mad!
i dont know if it would help if i spend more time around groups of people or not! I will have to start testing this out.
last night i drove to el segundo to have dinner with my cousin steve and his family and my cousin patty and her family. patty was in from seattle and I hadn't seen them in a long time! it was nice to catch up, but i did realize one thing. when I'm alone in my apt/home office alone all day every day, I feel like I"m a totally normal persons, until i go out in public and open my mouth and say stupid shit... then i realize people must thing I'm barking mad!
i dont know if it would help if i spend more time around groups of people or not! I will have to start testing this out.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
sorry for the lack of updatges, I've been busy writing emails to guys on the internet dating sites i'm on! I'll let you know if anything interesting happens!
I've decided to head back into therapy. I haven't been in a while, i think I went like 10 times in all of 2007, but I think it's time to go back and I'm currently going therapist shopping. Is it weird that i'm looking for a boyfriend and a therapsit at the same time?
saturday night I went to this awesome party thrown for one of the writers on that 70s show. it was his suprise 40th bday and his wife through this kick ass party where we all had to dress like him. Apparently he wears the same basic outfit every day, jeans, a grey cahsmere sweater and a yankee hat (ugh yankees I know) I was going to wear my mets hat, but I found a yankee hat in the picket line lost and found that I was the organizer of and so on the last day of the strike since no one claimed it, I took it home and washed it and got very many compliments on it during the party. Anyway, the wife also had all of the guy's favorite foods, they had a guy from Subway making sandwiches, boxes and boxes of pastries from canters deli, bins filled with chocolate bars and milk duds, pizza from larchmont pizza, el pollo loco making chicken bowls, everything was awesomely poor food choices and i loooooved them!!! i ate so much! even though I had a panic attack at the beginning of the party (not used to being around so many people since I'm alone all day every day for the past 2+ years) I still managed to get on the dance floor at the end of the night with some of the other writers and boogied down!!!! all in all a grand time was had!
yesterday i had b'fast at toast with a few peeps and was seated across from my sisters college roomate and also they were roomies in brooklyn together like 12 years ago (before it was hip to live there) she is so freakin awesome, i love her. I hadn't seen her in years, but was like "um, are you lesley?" how bizarre!!
I've decided to head back into therapy. I haven't been in a while, i think I went like 10 times in all of 2007, but I think it's time to go back and I'm currently going therapist shopping. Is it weird that i'm looking for a boyfriend and a therapsit at the same time?
saturday night I went to this awesome party thrown for one of the writers on that 70s show. it was his suprise 40th bday and his wife through this kick ass party where we all had to dress like him. Apparently he wears the same basic outfit every day, jeans, a grey cahsmere sweater and a yankee hat (ugh yankees I know) I was going to wear my mets hat, but I found a yankee hat in the picket line lost and found that I was the organizer of and so on the last day of the strike since no one claimed it, I took it home and washed it and got very many compliments on it during the party. Anyway, the wife also had all of the guy's favorite foods, they had a guy from Subway making sandwiches, boxes and boxes of pastries from canters deli, bins filled with chocolate bars and milk duds, pizza from larchmont pizza, el pollo loco making chicken bowls, everything was awesomely poor food choices and i loooooved them!!! i ate so much! even though I had a panic attack at the beginning of the party (not used to being around so many people since I'm alone all day every day for the past 2+ years) I still managed to get on the dance floor at the end of the night with some of the other writers and boogied down!!!! all in all a grand time was had!
yesterday i had b'fast at toast with a few peeps and was seated across from my sisters college roomate and also they were roomies in brooklyn together like 12 years ago (before it was hip to live there) she is so freakin awesome, i love her. I hadn't seen her in years, but was like "um, are you lesley?" how bizarre!!
Monday, February 11, 2008
this weekend
so yesterday I was supposed to have a date with the guy Todd who I went out with in August and had a great date with and then he dissappeared for a few months and then reappeared last month on facebook. Anyway, I asked him to see this exhibit downtown near where he lives that closes today.
Oh and i randomly bumped into him last week at a show. anyway, we were supposed to meet up tomoro and then when I texted him on sat. night he didnt' reply until sunday saying he forgot bout the museum and was going skiing with friends.... WOW!! THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL SO FORGETABLE!!!
so i didn't go, which is fine, I worked out and read and grocery shopped and went to swingers for some free lunch! it also became quite obvious the type of person he is. So last night I sat down and wrote a life love list, i saw them do it on oprah (oh my cousin's husband is on oprah today with nate berkus) but I digress, i wrote down everything I want in a mate and then put it away. I took a picture of it in my photo journal maybe you can make out some of the things that are on it. Now i just sit back and wait for it to come true! I'm going to also write one about my career!
the strike is pretty much over, we vote tomorrow on whether we want to end it or not! So I'm pretty sure we will. the meeting down town on sat. night about it was pretty uneventful, i thought someone would get angry and start yelling, but nope. I ran into a guy I used to work with years ago who is now writing for an english sitcom, and tried tot alk to him, but he was a total wanker, so I got no advice off him! boo!
off to tennis!
Oh and i randomly bumped into him last week at a show. anyway, we were supposed to meet up tomoro and then when I texted him on sat. night he didnt' reply until sunday saying he forgot bout the museum and was going skiing with friends.... WOW!! THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL SO FORGETABLE!!!
so i didn't go, which is fine, I worked out and read and grocery shopped and went to swingers for some free lunch! it also became quite obvious the type of person he is. So last night I sat down and wrote a life love list, i saw them do it on oprah (oh my cousin's husband is on oprah today with nate berkus) but I digress, i wrote down everything I want in a mate and then put it away. I took a picture of it in my photo journal maybe you can make out some of the things that are on it. Now i just sit back and wait for it to come true! I'm going to also write one about my career!
the strike is pretty much over, we vote tomorrow on whether we want to end it or not! So I'm pretty sure we will. the meeting down town on sat. night about it was pretty uneventful, i thought someone would get angry and start yelling, but nope. I ran into a guy I used to work with years ago who is now writing for an english sitcom, and tried tot alk to him, but he was a total wanker, so I got no advice off him! boo!
off to tennis!
Friday, February 08, 2008
oprah here I come
About every month, i apply to be on oprah. is this embarrassing, not to me it isn't! I even find topics that would apply to my friends lives, but of course dont tell them lest it ruin my chances to getting on... dont want too many tv people as guests.
fingers and toes crossed, i think I wrote a reallllly good little thing about the specific topic: are you a schlumpadinka! answer: yes i am, you should see what I wear on a daily basis when you dont need to go anywhere or ever leave the housee!!!!
FREE STUFF FOR STRIKERS UPDATE: MY HAIR LOOKS FAB!!!!! ALSO JUST GOT BACK FROM SWINGERS WHERE I HAD FREE B'FAST FOR THE 4TH DAY IN A ROW AND ORDERED LUNCH TO GO!!!! PLEASE THE STRIKE IS GOING TO BE OVER IN LIKE 2 DAYS I NEED TO MAYBE EVEN STOP BY TONIGHT FOR DINNER. IT'S SAVED ME A TON, I HAVEN'T BEEN TO THE GROCERY STORE ONCE THIS WEEK AND I USUALLY GO 3 TIMES!!!!
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
FREE IS FOR ME PART 2
I think the strike will be coming to a close this weekend. that is why i am taking advantage of all the free offers out there to us writers. I have spoken about free food aw swingers, i was there yesterday for lunch, today for b'fast and will be there tomoro for b'fast and friday for lunch!
then tomoro i'm getting my hair cut for free at a salon in beverly hills!! cool, right, well i'll let you know AFTER i see what they do to my locks. I'm dying for a haircut, haven't had one since the end of september, so if it save me $120 which is what I usually pay at frederik fekkai for a haircut, then who cares what it looks like... then again I'll be the judge of that AFTER i see how it turns out.
Okay I just stopped by strike HQ cause I heard they were given kate matilini gift cards, thats a good restaurant in LA! and I just scored one since they all know me at HQ!!! awesome!!! let the good times roll!!!
then tomoro i'm getting my hair cut for free at a salon in beverly hills!! cool, right, well i'll let you know AFTER i see what they do to my locks. I'm dying for a haircut, haven't had one since the end of september, so if it save me $120 which is what I usually pay at frederik fekkai for a haircut, then who cares what it looks like... then again I'll be the judge of that AFTER i see how it turns out.
Okay I just stopped by strike HQ cause I heard they were given kate matilini gift cards, thats a good restaurant in LA! and I just scored one since they all know me at HQ!!! awesome!!! let the good times roll!!!
Happy Ash Wednesday
today is the first day of Lent, called Ash Wednesday. I just went to church to get my ashes and there is this homeless woman who comes to mass every week and she was there. And while I was kneeling and praying after communion, she walked by and I noticed she was wearing UGG BOOTS.
SHE HAS NICER CLOTHES THAN ME!!! I want those Ugg Boots, they are chocolate brown! I wanted to tackle her on the way out of mass, but t hen thought, that wasn't very Christian, soooo I opted not.
Yesterday during our primary, I totally BA-RACKED THE VOTE! Women in California came out in droves to vote for Hilary, but not one women I know, everyone I know voted for Barack. Also my polling place had a person directing parking!! i have never seen that before at my polling place even in a presidential election. I think this year is going to be so exctiting! There seems to be a buzz about this presidential race and it's exciting!!!
CAN YOU FEEL IT??
SHE HAS NICER CLOTHES THAN ME!!! I want those Ugg Boots, they are chocolate brown! I wanted to tackle her on the way out of mass, but t hen thought, that wasn't very Christian, soooo I opted not.
Yesterday during our primary, I totally BA-RACKED THE VOTE! Women in California came out in droves to vote for Hilary, but not one women I know, everyone I know voted for Barack. Also my polling place had a person directing parking!! i have never seen that before at my polling place even in a presidential election. I think this year is going to be so exctiting! There seems to be a buzz about this presidential race and it's exciting!!!
CAN YOU FEEL IT??
Friday, February 01, 2008
mucho celeb sightings!!
yesterday I met Kristin for coffee at kings road cafe and saw.... drum roll please... ERIC DANE!!! AKA MCSTEAMY FROM GREYS ANATOMY!!! OMG that man is hot on the show, but his hottness defies all hotness in person, his ass was so close to my face (i was sitting down) that I nearly passed out from sheer beauty.
gossip alert! rumor has it that he has a honey on the side who lives near kings road and who my friend has seen him having spats with and they call eachh other baby. i have not seen this, but it seems like an odd thing to make up, my friends is a reliable source and she has seen them on numerous ocasaions, in case you ddin't know, he's married to rebecaa gayheart, so this piece of gossip is CRAZY!!
Today at Swingers i saw dave chapelle. i wanted to take a pic of my picture a day in 2008 journal, but my friend says "he's bat shit, he might go crazy on you." so i didn't. he was wearing big ass headphones and was in the back so i couldn't see if he was with anyone, i wonder if he used his WGA to get a free meal like we did!!!
there were character actors galore at kings road yesterday too. The dad from Dawson' creek and a few others who would eye each other when the others would get a table, prety damn funny. oh, life in LA.
my migraine still lingers, but i'm doing better, amy and bern are coming over to watch friday night lights today so i had to clean my apartment, not that it was dirty but you know, wipe down the counter and stove and bathroom sink, ugh I ate being poor and not being able to afford someone to do that shit for me!
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