I just filled out an application for the "low income discount rate" for my electricity bill in LA. yes, i totally qualify seeing as I've made very very little money this year which is strange considering I signed a contract with a major studio in march and have yet to see a dime. I told my agent last week that he needed to get me paid a certain amount so i can earn enought to be elligible for health insurance in 2008. he said he was on it. Really it's not asking to much to get 1/3 of my contracted earnings in a 6 month period is it??

I next plan to file for food stamps, unfortuantely, they dont work at jenny craig which i'm starting up again on wednesday. sure i lost a ton of weight after my surgery but now i want to keep it off!!

so the boy who i wanted to ask me out called today and asked me out. and we talked for a litle while as i was driving to a hike (not really supposed to be working out yet, buuuuut this was walking and my surgeon said i could walk and he didn't say i couldn't walk uphill) anyway, he called and asked me out for tonight and i said yes and then he said he'd come get me and we'd go to a restaurant near me, and he does in fact live downtown (see previous post) soooo that's a big commitment to come up here. so i went on my hike and was excited and nervous and didn't really think about what i shoudl wear since i can only wear skirts still. so my options are limited.

so, on my drive back from hiking he called and bailed! FUCK!

he said he got sick suddenly. uh, yeah, sure. He was all nervous I didn't believe him and he said he called his best girl friend and left a message on her VM asking if she'd believe a guy if he called and un asked her out 2 hours after asking her out. I was like it's ok, and he asked me what he thought of his message bailing, and i didn't know waht else to say other than "i was like I hope he feels better" i mean if he is sick, i'm a bitch for being like Never call me again and then if he isn't then yes, i look gullible.

he said he'd resched. for monday or tues. i said "sure." we shall see if he calls.

so instead i went to the movies with bernadette to this piece ofshit stupid ass movie called sunshine. DO NOT SEE IT, IT'S STUPID AND MAKES NO SENSE.

SO I'm supposed to be allegedly going out with a cute boy. we emailed like 2 emails last week (i met him on a show meeting a few months ago) did i already talk about him?

anyway, i just found him on myspace and hes put a lot of work into his myspace. oh and he's 29. i'm 33. maybe he found me on myspace and didn't like what he saw... and htat's why i haven't heard from him in a few days, he dropped off the planet.

anyway, i do judge a little from your myspace. anyone in your late 20 early 30s myspacing like mad seems to me to be a little.... mad. in the head that is. is that judgemental of me? why do we myspae in the first place, JUST SEND ME A FUCKING EMAIL.

instead you send me a message on mysapce, then myspace sends me an email saying hey you got a message on myspace, so then i have3 to go sign into myspace (after having already signing into my email) then get your message. seems like there's an extra step in there.

back to the original story. so he's all myspaced out with videos and pics of his dogs who he loves (i hate dogs since Jen malone's bit me in the face 7 years ago) and i think he might live downtown. for anyone who does not live in LA, downtown is not like NYC. it's gross and dirty and we have more homeless people who are mentally ill and on drugs (also see sicko) than any other city: i don't go down town.

my friends in la have said in the past "i dont get it, you'll go to fucking africa and travel all over the world but you are scared of downtown LA." the answer is simple: yes!

i will update you on whether or not he has the balls to email me since i sent him a funny email and clearly intimidated him 5 days ago.

what ho!

today was good, intense, hard, scary, fun., full of self doubt, tiring... how all in one day, welcome to hollywood. this morning i woke up early after having gone to bed late b/c i was practicing my pitch and writing and then nervous so not sleeping well. i semi pitched a movie based on a book to a movie producer at the 4 seasons... hello it's walking distnace from my new love pad, 2 blocks, 3 min. walk... felt v. new york.

ok so i went and din't really know what i was doing seeing as I had never pitched a movie before. I mean i can pitch a tv show or at least know how its supposed to be pitched comfortably, but this... an entirely diff. being. so i showed up with all the questoins she had asked me (i had the answers) and i knew i did ok, but i left and she had another meeting there (again, welcome to hollywood, i naeively thought i'd be the only one pitching... HA!) i ran into another snarky tv comedy writer on my way out, her way in and she said she had a meeting.. hmmmm. anyway movie producer called me this afternoon and was like "oh we ended the meeting and i forgot to tell you the next step" which i guess means I got it... now dont think that i got anything, i just made it to stage 2, the 2nd week of the audition as in every reality show.

so now i have to work my ass off and come up with a pitch... you do all this work weeks and weeks and may not have anything to show for it (read: MONEY) but you still need to do it. suck. cause i could use this time to write something else, but you have to take the chance and you know what, i think i can do this, i mean i have no idea really how to structure a movie, but i have friends who do.

so i walked home from the 4 seasons and sat on my couch and then went to target and bought the following: a microwave, a lamp, a lampshade (v. grown up looking), cleaning supplies, a mop that i just used and realized is broken.. grrr, sponges, a garbage can for my kitchen, bucket, etc. i spent $200 so the massage that i was thinking of getting was out of the question.

oh i finsihed harry potter last night... SO FUCKING GOOD!!

apartment living

what's fun about living in an apartment surrounded by more apartment buildings: hearing people have sex. that's what i'm doing right now. I wish I could figure out where it's coming from, i suspect it's the same people who were at it 2 nights ago around this same time. i'mnot sure if it's my building but it certainly sounds like it. it's not the people upstairs as i can hear them walk around as i type... am i thinking way too much about this?! i fear that to be the case.

oh wait, i think i can confirm it's coming from upstairs. geez, now what happens when i meet these people.

oh and i have 3 dates that i know of coming up! unfortunatly i can't do one a day 4 days in a row b/c i get so wiped out easily from this stupid surgery. grrrr. oh and i realized that i have yet to get the bill from my surgeon and anathesiologist, which will run about anohter 11 grand. sweet!

freaking out

so i am freaking out cause i'm convinced everyone at the agency that represents me hates me (the fight i had yesterday) b/c i've emailed 2 of the agents today re: business questions and neither one has responded...

i wonder when they started not to like me anymore.. strange seeing as I have 2 deals and i'm making money for them (allegedly if i were to get paid)... imagine how much they treat people who dont make money for them

phases

every couple of months i g o thorugh a phase where everyone pisses me off and there's a ton of miscommunicatoin and every one is mad at me. Right now I'm mad at 2 people who shall remain namelss, they dont troll the board but they are mid profile people in this town...

one is a person giving me notes on one of my projects. We will call this person Terry. I am tery's dream writer, i never ask questoins, i always hit it out of the park, but yesterday I asked terry one questoin about a note and terry fucking gave me so much fucking attitude I felt like I was a mom dealing with an eye rolling, gum snapping 12 year old girl who i just told couldn't go out with a boy to the movies. THAT MUCH ATTITUDE.

then i just told off someone... can't really elaborate but i have had a b'fast schedule d with someone and it's been resched no less than 5 times and one time I had to do it CAUSE I JUST HAD SURGERY!! so i went off on this person's asst. and might have derailed my career in the process... oops, but it is deserved. i swear.

fox TCA

last night i went to the FOX televisioin critics party. It was awesome. it was at the santa monica pier and my friend and I went on the rollercoaster and played games. I saw the entire cast of house, most of the cast from bones, the cast of the brad garrett sitcom. Keifer sutehrland was mobbed and pinned in the corner by a bunch of tv critics. the event is bascially for FOX to kiss the asses of the tv critics so they'll favorably review their shows. all the networks do it, but i just wanted to go to the fox one to see my tv boyfriend.

i ate carnival food (cotton candy, etc) and won a basketball!! my friend beat me at this other game and won a krusty the clown stuffed animal. but i'm glad i won the b-bal cause i sorta needed one. I wore a v. cute dress and heels (wedge heels)

STAR SIGHTINGS

yesterday at the coffee bean in bev hills, I saw renee zwellegger. She is super super skinny, like ridiculous. and she talks like a baby. HELLO YOU'RE A GROWN WOMAN. what also annoyed me was how the employees there were like "do you want a carrier for your drinks" do you need this do you need that? anything esle, anything to eat? SERVICE I DO NOT GET FYI!!

then this morning at the coffee bean near my house I saw Kristin Chenoweth from the west wing and from Wicked, cause i loved her in wicked. Anyway, she too is skin and bones!! And she's so tiny that I looked like a monster standing next to her.

WHO WANTS TO GUESS HOW MUCH AN APPENDECTOMY COSTS!!!!

ACCORDING TO MY CEDARS SINAI ONLINE STATEMENT (I WAS ON FOR MY COLONOSCOPY BILL) AND THEY HAVE MY SURGERY LISTED

SO FAR THE TOTAL IS.... $70,000 FOR MY 2 NIGHT/3 DAY HOSPTIAL STAY AND SURGERY

oh and to make it more interesting I gave my insurance card in the ER, i gave my insurance card to the hospital (after being admitted) and guess what, the cedars billing dept. say I'm a self paying person with no insurance. ahh. so the adventure begins with insrance. glad i had my insurance card on me, lot of good it did me!

so like i said when i was in the hospital pieces of my lung collapsed. I just read an article in a very sophisticated magazine People, about a girl who invented a device that helps kids in hosptials after surgeries strenghthen their lung by shooting marhsmallows. Now that I know how scary it can be to lose lung capacity (and i will know more when I'm allowed to run again in a few weeks) I wanted to post the site if anyone wanted to make a donation.

www.kelseyskids.org

sounds like a great organization.

my meeting went very well yesterday, i think i got the job, now i'm nervous that i can't do the job! we shall see...

the person in question was very well put together, very nice, pitched a few things. all in all it was fun.

last night i went to a party for the season 2 premiere of who wants to be a superhero. due to my health i could ony stay for like an hour, but enough time to say hello to the people who invited me and introduce my friend who is a huge comic book guy to the all time comic book guy in the history of comic books who I know because of this project.

wow, i only live like 1.5 miles from the wrtiers guild, my commute was 6 minutes! That is going to save me $$ on gas which is good since my rent more than doubled i need that savings somewhere. I guess I could just stay at hoome and work from my office, but that will get lonely if i did that every day. at least at the writers guild lounge i occasionaly run into friends. i'm not getting my tv hooked up until the tv season starts up again in the fall, so last night i actually worked in my office!! love having an office!

so i'm off the antibiotics they gave me for my surgery and they dont really allow you to sleep, so i haven't been getting a ton of sleep as a result, but last night my first day off I went to bed at 1030pm and slept until 830am. guess i needed it because i started working again and i've got a lot going on. eek

nothing else to report except I've lost like 7 pounds since my surgery and put on a shirt this morning that had been in storage the entire time and it's falling off me! sexy time!

i like to go to the best but didn't.

Just read on the aOL homepage that cedars sinai the hospital where i got my surgery last week is 17th in the country with UCLA as #3. Oops, guess I should've gone there. Although i had such a sweet set up at cedars and everyone (except one nurse) was amazing.

oh and before i forget, tomorrow I'm meeting with a certain someone to talk about a project. dont' want to type anything that could be found on google, so let's just say before I was born my parents lived in Paris...










here are pics of my new apt. sorry about the not having furniture. it;s getting there. love the hardwood floors.

ok so i dont know what order thess are in, so i'll just write about my tv being swallowed by the wall, dont worry the big hutch i have by the dining room table is going to move where the tv stand is now so it wont get so swallowed. i'm going to get an area rug for the living room and move the pottery barn rug there now under the dining room table (thanks for carrie frymer for coming up with that ingenius plan)






my beds not made but i can't make it right now since i'm infirmed. or at least that's what i like to think. the built in bookshelves are my fave, sorry it's turned to the side, i'm too lazy to fix it. i have a patio (not accessible directly from the apt, but you just exit my door and it's right there) so it would be perfect as a smoking patio, if i still smoked (i never realllly smoked to begin with, but gave it up for new years and glad i did as it slows your recovery from surgery!)

i love my new pad

my new pad rules. it really really does! I love it so much i miss it right now. i'm at the writers guild thinking about why im' not working in the office at my new apt. it's huge, i'll take pics, but so far 4 of my friends have given it their seal of approval.

carrie and danielle came over yester. afternoon to help me unpack since I can't really lift anything significant. so a lot of stuff is already put away. and remi and carrie came over and brought wine and gifts for me!!! and we ordered yummy pizza and drank and talked about how great my apt. is!!! hehehehe!!

I LOOOOVE IT! I can't believe I didn't move out of bruno's years ago, what was I thinking. I LOVE LIVING ALONE IN MY SUPER AWESOME PAD!!!!

if life hands you lemons... but what if you are a lemon

If you live in cali, you have heard the following commericial on the radio, if not we have a dealership called Toyota of Orange that has this jingle: Chorus: "No you won't get a lemon!" Extremely Enthusiastic guy: "I WOULDN'TA GOT A LEMON? ...

so i've started to reflect on my current situtaion, no not the being unemployed, single and homeless one, my health crisis. and i'm starting to think that my parents should've gotten me at toyota of orange so as not to have gotten a lemon. I am a lemon, not me per se, but my body is a lemon. I'm not going to list all my ailments that have lead me to believe this, but i'll give just this years examples:

I had 3 colon pollyps and had to have them removed by colonoscopy, a diagnosis which tends to befall men in their 50s. my doctor even said it's rare someone my age would have them

then the appendicitis in july. AND THAT'S JUST 2007.

i wont go into 2004 when they thought i had a brain tumor in my pituitary gland becausse I stopped having my period for 9 months and didn't produce a baby.

or in 1999 when I had e. coli and was so sick that i couldn't go out for an entire year because if i went out, i'd get a cold for 2 weeks and then becasue the e coli went on so long i developed asthma. and I'm leaving out the parasite from africa and the gallstone i have living inside me. even my surgeon on saturday night after having reviewed my file and all my medical problems told me I'm a mess. he said that when we go in it's going to be interesting as they're not 100% sure what they'll be taking out as a result of my colitis, polycystic ovarian syndrome and gallstone and probable appendicits.

so yeah, i'm starting to think i must be a lemon.

on the bright side i have great friends and a great sonicare toothbrush.

while i was in surgery

at literaly the exact moment of my surgery, this is what my friends were doing outside of the hosptial as they happened to be wasted at a bar across the street (with drew barrymore whos not in the picture)

please notice they're all grabbing the wrong side of the belly

so much better

today is a good day. yesterday i wokep up and still felt very shitty and ate a lot of percoset. i took a nap and just layed around. apprently that is the exact opposite of what i'm supposed to be doing. i talked to my surgeon and he yelled at me for napping and also wouldn't =change my anti biotic perscription. anyway, so i got out and walked for 45 mins and then walked again later that night for 15 mins. and then today i woke up feeling great! i'm serious. so today i've already walked and met a friend for lunch, i only ate one egg white and a piece of toast (ive totally lost like 4 pounds)

i'm going to walk to kristin's today about 2 miles round trip to get my drivers license which is in my car and i need to get onto warner bro studios tonight as i'm going to see HARRY POTTER!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!

my friend amy is coming too as i need a chauffer as i'm not allowed to drive until friday. also big news, i took myself off percoset today, i'm on acetominphen, basical tylenol.

i have a very busy couple of days coming up as i have to pick up a parking permit for my new neighborhood in order to park there on sunday night and guest passes as christie is gonna be in town and stay next weekend. oh and i need to get the lights turned on! must have that happen too.

ok, i've had the worst couple of days. I'll keep it real brief for now as I'm drugged and eshausted. I had an emergency appendectomy at 11PM saturday night. It was the most pain i have ever had. will fill in details later. then this morning around 5am my temp. shot up crazy high apparently due to a parial lung collapse... SAY WHAT? yeah, pieces of my lung had collapsed which is common after surgery i guess. I wasn't doing enough lung excercises, even though i was (remy and carrie saw me doing them immediatey after I got out of surgery sunday at 1am.) They rocked and hung out until like 3am talking to me which was so amazingly nice since I was still freaked out from having surprise major surgery.

anyway, i was released tonight and i'm staying at my friend greg and amy's who are taking good care of me and even cooked me dinner and put water by my bed! so sweet. okay, i'll fill in all the details tomorrow as I can't really do anythig other than lie in bed and occassionally walk around to avoid another lung collapse. p.s. if you talk to my parents do not mention the lung thing, i happened to leave that out as my mother would have fallen over dead if she heard it!1

last night i saw the nmovie evening. it was boring and not very good. sorry meryll streep.

i stayed over at carrie's cause i'm house sitting and i brought some laundry. she has a kick ass machine. I'm going to be very sad when I dont have private laundry facilities.

the old roomate asked me to come get my mail becauswe "it's accumulating." so i thought, sure, it's been 3 weeks since my last mail pick up and if he's emailing me, there must be a ton of mail! so i drive up there and the door was open and the actor and his fiancee were there with friends playing a game andi didn't say hi cuase they annoy me, but they had tied the mail onto the door, and i coujldn't get it off so they heard me and i ran away. so i think to myself, this bag is light for mail that has been "accumulating," so i get it to carrie's house and open the bag and it contains the following: 1 brochure from my mutual fund and 3 envelopes. THAT'S ACCUMULATING??!?!?

i drove all the way up there for that? he's so annoying! 4 pieces of fucking mail!! the last time it was a huge pile and i emailed him about it, this time he initiates it and tghere's nothing! I HATE HIM!

today was just one of those annoying days. I had to get up early (815am gasp) and head to my storage unit. actually not mine, but my friend jeff's. I had my movers from a couple of weeks ago clear out jeff's unit, drive it to his fam's new house then drove to their old house and picked up really nice furniture for me to move into their storage unit until i move next weekend. Then i got the bad news that my movers couldn't move me next weekend so i had to track down other, MORE EXPENSIVE ones. they coul move me fri (can't move in that early) or monday, but if you've ever driven from the valley into LA on a week day morn, you know it's not a fun trip. So early next sunday at 7am I'm meeting my movers at my now TWO storage units to empty them both out to move into my apt. MY NEW APT!! i also got a couch and coffee table and dining set for the new place too on monday that i ordered!! i'm so fucking psyched!!!

anyway jeff and his wife (my old bossses) gave me some seriously sweet shit, they spare no expense on their stuff so i got an awesome desk (that was in their 4 year olds room but still, it's nice) a handpainted credenza that will match my couch perfectly, a beauru that might actually be used as an entertainment center, 2 really sweet night stands (now i can get rid of the one i had been using, stacey u know the one, i actualy might use it for an end table for the time being) a solid lamp, and a desk chair! and these awesome storage bins that were under the desk. i'll take pics of my new place as soon as i move in sunday week.

but the gross thing about my movers which is why i'm actually glad i'm getting new ones is the guy who runs the business. he kept hugging me last time I hired them and hitting on me, well this morning, he hugged me a lot, SUCKLED ON MY NECK!!!!! SERIOUSLY and grabbed my FUCKING ASS!! then put his arms around me while i was walking in front of him and buried his head into the back of my neck (all this behavior was repeated throughout the entire 3 hours) so even though these other movers will probably be costing me $200 more than the regular ones, at least i wont be getting a little raped!

oh and then i came back to kristin's and completely cleaned her fridge she's giving me for my new place. like it was disgusting and been in her garage for 3 years, I hope it actually still works. so i had to clean it before i move it next week, oh yeah, my movers will have to drive to her place (on the way actually) to pick up the fridge and load that in to!! sunday the 15th is going to SUUUUUUUCK!!

oh and now the teeth that the denstist was trying to get a closer look at vis a vis the dentist debaucle of my last post ARE FUCKING HURTING!!! how is that possible! he was lookig for something b/c he asked that those teeth get a new picture specifically and now the teeth hurt even though he said all clear after seeing it! I HAVEN'T RECIEVED A PAY CHECK IN 19 MONTHS!! I CAN'T HAVE A DENTAL NIGHTMARE!!

i had a fit at the dentist the other day. basically i'm a bitch. if i think someone is not as smart as me, i have no patience with them, who do i think i am? the woman who does the xrays with this new machine that shows them digitally IMMEDIATELY was trying to get this one root and it wasn't working and she kept taking them over and over and over and over, 6 times and finally i said "uh, what is going on? I'm freaking out about the amount of radiation. and i insisted she stop. then she said i get more radiation from the sun and I said I never go in the sun and she siad it's barely any radiation and it's not like i get alot any way and then i said well, every single household electronic emits radiation, so in fact, on top of the amount i got sitting there i'm also getting it from everythign around us all day long every day! she went and tattled on the dentist and then i said I will take one more if she can fucking do it right (did not use fucking) but still, (at this point she had already taken 4 more)

so she readjusted it again and got it, and i left in a total huff, probably glowing radioactively as i exited. i just got annoyed because she just seemed dumb and like i said, i'm a superior bitch.