grey hairs

so i've noticed in the past mmonths that i have more and more grey hairs, I think the stress of the past year has manifested itself on ruining my beautiful mahogany hair, like it's getting bad, just now i was in the bathroom and i have 3 grey hairs sprouting right in the front of my head, for all to see. the other hairs are in the back or on the side. so i googled going grey and this is what anderson cooper, my 2nd gay boyfriend (stephen fry the english comedian being my first gay boyfriend and he's actually come out as gay unlike anderson) said about going gray early.

"Going gray is like ejaculation. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock."

love him.

although also in his article on grey hair is this:

"Did you know that according to legend, the guy who became Buddha decided to seek enlightenment the day he got a touch of gray? "Gray hairs," the would-be Buddha said, "are like angels sent by the god of death."

Translation: Gray is nature's way of whispering "You're dying."

goodness my life is dull. I have nothing to report today. yesterday i did the usual, ate jenny craig, went to the gym, walked around the grove and the barnes and noble last night and went to bed. Oh i also "winked" at a lot of guys on the onion dating website. no winks back just yet.

today I'll do much of the same. I have to write a little treatment for a show i'm being pitched by MTV for a certain incarcerated celebrity... i have a conference call tomorrow morning about it. allegedly, as they keep changing it, which is annoying.

so on day one of jenny craig i realized that you have to eat a lot of food. I hate eating food. i hate food! so at the end of the day i had to eat 3 servings of fruit that i didn't want to eat. I guess i dont eat enough maybe that's why i dont lose weight. I swear if i eat all this fucking food they're forcing down my throat and gain weight, i will go ballistic!!!!

watched teh sopranos finale last night with remi and carrie, i liked it even if people didn't. I just didn't get the whole meadow parking her car scenes.

I think i have 2 dates this week from guys on the internet. One from a guy who was cute in his original picture but then changed pictures mid-conversation, and now he's not so cute, but i'll get coffee with him. have to get coffee since i cant eat anything other than jenny craig right now and am not supposed to be drinking.

so tentatively i have dates: wed, thurs, sun. so i guess that's 3 dates this week. woo hoo!

so i'm loving living with Krsitin, so much fun, love love. this weekend was her bday weekend and we went out to dinner last night, although I just came for drinks cause my pickiness was not conducive to the fixed menu. it was a great place, social hollywood, whihc used to be hollywood athletic club, great space. it was where the tv guide emmy party was last year too , shout out to suzy!! awww yeah!

today i joined jenny craig!!! i have given up on weight watchers as i think my portions are out of control even htough i eat healthier than anyone i've ever met. so they give me the food and portions and so far so good.

friday night i went over to grey and amys and had pizza and drank wine and then headed to 3rd stop with a big gang, but was tired and left around midnight.

i'm so excited for jenny craig, i really hope i lose like 15 pounds on this. I've recently met a ton of gals who have been really successful on it Today is day 1 and so far so good, granted the turkey burger ws delish but the size of a beer coaster, but still, i need to shake it up.

the paris hilton ordeal woke me up on friday early. I live in west hollywood right now and the about 5 blocks south of where she is on kings road, i'm one block from kings road and the choppers were in full effect, a ton of them just hovering around her house starting at like 6am, what a blasted nuisances! ah, what a glam life i lead being woken up by choppers as such

have you heard of the james morrison song?

it's called "wonderful world."

the lyrics go like this:

I know it's a wonderful world but I can't see it right now

this describes my state at this moment.

OCEANS 13 PREMIERE

last night ruled! well, yesterday was a rollercoaster day, not gonna lie. got up and had b'fast with kristin at kings road, then headed to the guild and wrote, then had lucnh with all my girlfriends, 3 have had babies in the past 2 months, one is a writer on scrubs, Kristin has a huge deal at fox, and erika's husband wrote wild hogs and they're sending her and her hubby on a 3 week tour of europe to do research for the sequel... suffice it to say, i pale in comparison to these v. successful ladies. the ladies witht the babies all have super $ hubbies, so i'm there no job, no place to live, no boyfriend, no baby, no new car, no fancy house NOTHING! I HAVE NOTHING!!

and i decide to go on suicide watch for myself. until... i go to see a screening of oceans 13, i love those movies, so much pretty to look at, and i love heist movies, i really do! then i got invited to the oceans 13 premiere party where I saw all the stars!!! OMG george clooney is ridiculous hot! he walked out with me (no we didn't go home together) and I was dying!!! i stopped and watched as he signed autographs and was in awe.

sarah silverman was tehre, i saw her show, i think it sucks, and jimmy kimmell, and i saw lloyd from entourage, and matt damon and the little guy who plays lewis and super dave osbourne and GEORGE FUCKING CLOONEY!!!!

woo hoo, drank free booze, ate fried bananas!!! woo hooo, love bananaS!!!

so excited cause tonight i'm going to see a screening of oceans 13. I didn't love oceans 12 b/c it was like brad pitt and george clooney self flaggelation fest on the screen, but there is so much pretty in this movie i hope i enjoy it.

so relieved i moved out of brunos, wish i did it months ago, what was i thinking? love living with kristin and her guest bed is so comf!

now i still need a job and am worried about my sanity taking a nose dive like it did last year. i still have no idea what i am doing with my life, but i ask you this, do any of us have that answer?

I DID IT

i'm all grown up!! i did it! i moved out of the actors house and found my own apt. No more actor and his crazy fiancee who was going around the house when my movers were there yesterday pointing out stuff i "forgot." I'm like I didn't forget it, ass, im moving out RIGHT NOW it's just not in the movers truck right now. SHE'S FUCKING CRAZY. so when i said "please dont' go around pointing stuff out until I'm actually done, she said "well i wanted to put something in there." she wanted to put something in the closet i hadn't even moved out yet, she got out of bed, heard the movers come in and decided to put something in my closet before I was done. Karina G. is fucking crazy!!

so i moved out and into storage and then when i came back to the house to pick up my luggage they had already moved furniture into my room!!!! and moved my bags around! I had been gone for an hour!!! so glad i'm done.

on top of that the actor wanted to charge me 3 days rent pro-rated for the 2 days I was tehre in june, i was like good luck prying that cash from my hands.

now i'm staying at kristin's until mid july!!

i need to find meaning in my life... it's quite bleak

no no, im not depressed again, it's just that I have no place to live, no job and no boyfriend/kids etc. It's really... horrid. But I guess they say, it's darkest before dawn.

And it's not that I just don't have a place to live, i'm trying desperately to move out, I've called 8 fucking places and only one of those places has called back?! huh? what's the point of listing your place if you're not wanting a tenant?

hopefully dawn is right around the corner! it really really needs to be. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying i have it the worst in the world, I'm not in darfur or new jersey (i hate NJ) but I think right now on may 30th 2007, I do have it pretty bad compared to what Ive had in the past. Contrary to what I'm lamenting about, I am not that bummed about my current situation, which is strange, you'd think I would be...

the actor's girlfriend is crazy and so annoying and rather stupid.

friday night i had a few people over like 8 to play cards, drink beer and watch TV at my hosue while the actor and his gf were out of town. It was mostlty my girlfriends liz and berna and rachel, kate, etc. so we hang out, play cards, drink and then go home early cause they came over at like 630 in the evening.

so the roomates come home last night, i'm at a movie, i get in around 11:45pm and the gF is sitting there like my parents and the first thing out of her mouth was "did you have a party," I said no, i had a few girlfriends over to play cards, then "who went into my room," i said i put the cats in the room and locked the door cause some of my friends smoke and i didn'tw ant the cat escpating. So she keeps saying "will you just tell me who was in our room," and i'm like NO ONE and she says again, just tell me and i'm like I'm sorry i dont know what to tell you, and she's getting all annoyed and she's like you're allowed to have a party... and i'm like it wasn't a party, it was people drinking beer and playing cards, aND she keeps calling it ap arty and did the people in the party go in her room caus the bed is ruffled and i'm like the cats probably ruffled the bed, and she goes into the party and if people at the party went in her room just tel her and i finally say, my friends know what its like for me to live here and they would never touch anything in this house without me signing off on it first. and then she sasy, what does that mean and i say, it just means it's actors house and he has very nice pieces that iw ouldn't get ruined... blah blah, so then i went to bed and then she immediatelly started getting ready for bed, b/c she had stayed up to attack me...

i am just waiting to be kicked out or get an email from bruno.

Those fucking cats were on that bed all weekend. and they run around that house and tear it up and knock stuff over, but if there are beer bottles and pizza boxes in the garbage, i'm the one who did all that stuff.


I am at the writers guilde right now just waiting to hear from the actor via email. thankfully i'll be here are day and then to bootcamp and then home real quick to change and watch the house finale with remi and carrie.

it has come to my attention that my parents, or my dad at least thinks that me not getting hired on a show is my fault... why i think this? I got an email from him yesterday with only this link.

http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/4860.html

it's an article about your professinal image. so i wrote to him saying "why are you sending me a link about a professional image makeover?" to which he replied this:

During her trial the court asked Joan of Arc if she was in the State of Grace. They planned to trick her. If she said that she was not, she would be a self-confessed sinner deserving of punishment. If she said that she was in the State of Grace they were going to condemn her for pride and arrogance. Her answer was " If I am in the State of Grace, I pray that God keeps me there. If I am not in the State of Grace, I pray that God takes me there".

If your professional image is up to speed, may it stay up to speed. If it is not, may it get up to speed. Let me not be the one to judge. Since you recently did a relaunch (I realize this was a personal, not a professinal relaunch) I thought that this may be of interest.

x0x,
Dad

yesterday i barely ate just to be able to eat a ton at my friend carrie's for the finale of american idol. She made turkey meatball subs.... oh yummy, i'm serioulsy still full.

i have to work tonight, but hope to have time to stop by and seen the results show and eat some more turky yumminess, tonight's menu: turkey and bean chili.

yesteday i met over at disney, i guess the guy didn't like me cause my agent said there were some spots still avail on some of their shows, only to find out after the meeting there arent any avail, that's agent code for: he didnt like you so instead of me saying that, i'll just lie and say there was no shot on the shows anyway (shows that he told me earlier in the day were shots.) FUCK THIS INDUSTRY

talked to my nike friend who told me about a few options within her company, woo hoo that would be cool to move up to portland and work for Nike, shit i wear all their stuff anyway! wouldn't neve have to change my wardrobe.

i'm totally obsessed with stephen fry who used to be comedy partners with hugh laurie AKA house who i used to be obsessed with, but now i'm more obsessed with stephen, he's the one who did the bipolar documentary i told you guys about. anyway, he's in this new show over in the UK called kingdom, and i download the eps from somewhere every monday and watch them, and i have loved all of them, all 5 of them, the problem is the shows over there only go for 6 fucking episodes, so the seaosn is over just like that, what rot!

anyway, i'm on youtube daily to find stephen fry stuff, it's a little insane b/c im' totally cyber stalking him.

meanwhile, my old crush hugh laurie (who is still my crush, lets be honest) recieved some award from the queen today, as in the queen of england people, I have to say I have really great taste in men, high quality people I crush on!

busy

I am crazy busy and stressed this week. got a lot of work to do and i have a bunch of meetings for a variety of things. Shout out to stacey who has called me a few times, I'm gonna call you back after thurs. I swear!

No House on tonight, pushed the finale until next week cause of american idol. I'm heading to carrie's tonight for the AI finale, she's make turkey meatball sub sammys, I made stromboli last week!

I hate both finalists, melinda was my person, FUCK AMERICA! for voting her off.

the post it fairy

here are a few of the other post its the actor's girlfriend has left around the house in the past few weeks.

day bed

so i wrote this whole post last night and then my computer shut off, it's been doing that a lot lately, cannot be a good sign, right?

anyway, the actor roomate got this mostrosity day bed the other day. It's currently sitting outside my bathroom and when I asked him where they were going to display said day bed, he said it's going to be where the pool table is now standing. the pool table for those of you who dont know resides in the middle of this random downstairs room that no one goes to excpet me b/c my bathroom is down there. many of you have seen my place so know exactly where I'm talking about.

anyway, see the pic of this "day bed" that apparently "was a big hit" at the party they had at my house last night. oh did I not tell you,they had a party and didn't invite me, and they knew it was my birthday!


DAY BED



so see the picture of the day bed and then i have a picture of the room it's going in and buried under neath all the crap is the pool table in the middle of the room the other pic.

so this morning I was coming down and the actor was coming from downstairs with a blanket, i think he slept on the day bed or something, sometimes he gets up really early and relocates to the couch or now the atrotious day bed...

WHERE IT'S GOING SORRY IT'S TURNED TO THE SIDE.

update

I spoke with one of the agents just now and of the 2 shows I was still in the running for...

1. the head writer for one show has passed on me which sucks taht would've brought me back to NYC. why do i even dream?

2. the other show is probably going to hire these 2 guys she already has in mind. A woman head writer hiring male writers, i'm glad we're looking out for our own in 2007.

great way to start my birthday weekend... surrender hope all ye who enter...

I'm blue

I'm feeling a little blue today. Not sure why. However, I will mark it down on my mood chart. Oh yes, I just started a mood chart. I saw a special on manic depressives and this lady had a very complicated mood chart, so I downloaded one from the internets (as GW bush calls it), yes they really do have everything on the web. I am not manic depressive, but thought tracking my moods will be a good way to pass the time until i die seeing as God CLEARLY doesn't want me to have a family or a job, I figured this will be how I spend my days.

I realized watching this doc, which is so freaking good if you see it, by my gay, english boyfriend Stephen Fry, that all these manic depressives get to be high energy and manic while also being depresed. I on the other hand for those of you who have been reading this thing over the past year, know I only get depressed. I feel cheated. However, i do not envy these people, so dont get me wrong. I'd rather be only depressed than have to do deal with both... that's what I'm saying

anyway, i lost weight at weight watchers this week, 2.5 pounds so that's a good newsy sort of thing. going to the spa on sunday (my birthday) woo hoo and might have sushi tonight.

gross

my roomate is an actor. he's been the lead in a NBC sitcom and was most recently on a cable show...

he's gross. TOnight I walked to my room (by his bathroom) and he was sitting on the can with the door half open... like pants around the ankles reading a magazine on the can.

HELLO CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR

his fiancee does this also, she'll get in the shower and leave the main bathroom door open. I fucking hate these people.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME

THAT I WILL GET A JOB THIS TV SEASON.

ALL THE SHOWS I MET ON LAST WEEK WEREN'T PICKED UP THIS WEEK!!

BUT I NEED A JOB, I CAN'T SURVIVIE ANOTHER YEAR WITH NO HUMAN CONNECTION AND PLACE TO GO EVERY DAY, I WILL LOSE MY MIND AND MIGHT DO SOMETHING DRASTIC LIKE GOING POSTAL!!

so please right now, even if you're not religious, google St. Jude, the Patron Saint of Impossible things and say his prayer for me!!! I BEG OF THEE! It works, but I need you guys do help me!

also on sat. night i got drunk and tried to convince my friends to make me a burger so I could re-create the Drunken David Hasselhoff video, I wanted to transcribe the video and do the entire thing start to finish! Hilarious.

Now please pray for me!

pissing off my roomate

I know what really pisses off my roomate, the guy who owns my place, losing money. He is the cheapest man i have ever met, EVER. he alwasy talks about money, how much things cost, how much he's made/making etc. it's really the only thing he ever speask about. THe only time he tells me something, it has to do with a story about him and his acct. and money making schemes. so he's annoyed to me so much that I'm going to hit him where it hurts, his wallet.

about 2 weeks ago I started to wash everything i own. I do not pay utilities here so before I move out next month I want everything i own to be clean. EVERYTHING. Last night I did about 6 loads of laundry, maybe 7. 2 weeks ago I did about 10. Every sheet, towel, t-shirt I plan to bring to my new place to be used as a dust rag... all being washed. somethings i will re-wash before I leave, just to jack up the price of his hot water/gas and water bill. I've also started making long distance phone calls from my home phone whihc he also pays for, but when we signed up the phone, he wouldn't pay for long distance... all the more reason to make long distance calls from there at a higher rate... all these bills will come in after i've mooved INSERT EVIL LAUGH HERE!

holy crap. today I went into the kitchen to take a picture of the CAKE CUTTER and it looks like the post-it fairy has struck again. God help my roomates future children... they're fucking insane!!

anyway, tell me this doens't look like a fucking spatula.

okay so i wrote the othe day about my fucking crazy roomates and their emails. here's the full exchange of the cake cutter/spatula debate. i will upload the actual offensive cake cutter i used and you tell me i fyou think it looks like a spatula.

Original Roomate email Today she pointed out that used an (expensive) cake cutter to make eggs with, using it as a spatula. I need you to be more careful with this, please.

my reply Sorry about the cake cutter, it looks like a spatula, I honestly didn't know the difference.

his reply the cake cutter is about 3 inches shorter than a spatula (as it's not made to keep hands safe from burning oil), and more visibly, it has serrated edges used for cutting. It kind of resembles a spatula... but they don't look alike.

um.. it kind of resembles a spatula, but they don't look alike? that doens't make sense. I'm waiting for the roomates to get out of the kitchen to go take a picture of the cake cutter I used that looks EXACTLY like a spatula.

the past few days have been crayz, i have had meetings and fights with my stupid self absorbed roomate who taught me the difference between a cake cutter and a spatula, i checked out an apt in brentwood, but didn't love it and it comes with a roomate and don't want that def. now for sure.

i'm stressed about a job, about a place to live and about finding a boy, it must be may, that's when al this bullshit comes to a head every year.

I told actor roomie about how bad spiderman was and he said that the 3rd of everything it always bad like how he was on the 3rd season of a hit show and it sucked after the first 2 seasons were critically acclaimed. yup, it's all about him!!!

next weeekend is my bday and i'm going to the spa and going to tell any of my friends to join and i'm going to bring yummy cake!! haven't made the plans yet, but in my head this is happening!

i really need a vacation!

i hate my roomates, i hate them.

this is ongooing. but this is the email I got from him today.

Sarah,

Girlfriend (no name for anonimity) has been pointing out to me a lot of crusty dishes and utensils that are getting put back in the shelves. Some of them I know are yours. Today she pointed out that used an (expensive) cake cutter to make eggs with, using it as a spatula. I need you to be more careful with this, please. I want you to inspect the dishes you put back.


HE WANTS ME TO INSPECT THE DISHES? WHAT AM I AN ARMY SARGEANT

i eat at the house like once a fucking week. and who the fuck can tell the difference between a spatula and a cake cutter?

last night I went to remi and carrie's for remi's birthday party... i need more time than i have right now to really write what took place, but I'll give you a tease:

remi and carrie take pole dancing classes. for her b-day, carrie got remi a pole installed in the middle of the apartemtn. suffice it to say, pole dancing ensued, yours truly took a whirl but my jeans were too tight to really pull off sexy moves... photos to follow... oh yes.

i am writing an hour long pilot right now for my portfolio, these usually run around 60 pages tops, I am now on page 44 and I'm only half way through the script.... so i'm putting my script at around 80 pages... that's going to be a major re-write. I hope to be done by next thurs with a first draft. according to my writing scedule I've mapped out.

yesterday I went to the gym and after my very hard workout, i was feeling on a high, proud of myself, yeah for me! I go to the gym every day, but i was feeling particularly good. So i cruise into the locker room where I come upon 3 women who are the perfect specimens of the human body, huge tits, blond, slamming body, and they are talking about working out and abs, etc.

This naturally deflates my good feelings of myself.

i am literally staring at these woman thinking i hafe3 never seen women like this before in crunch, (my gym), seriously, it was very strange and i'm like who are they.

well, upon exiting the locker room later, I realize why they are so perfect. THEY ARE PLAYBOY BUNNIES!! yeah, i guess there is some reality show with the playboy bunny girls and when I left the locker room, they were standing with camera and sound people.

Phew! I still feel bad for my body, but not as bad now that i know they're like professional good looking people.

not usually my thing

i dont usually post stuff going on in the world, just my world, i am just that selfish.
but i saw this and thought it was interesting. Quite interesting in fact: quite interesting being my new favorite show from england that i watch on youtube and i've put a request for tickets for a taping when i go to london after I get hired on a show later this month.

anyway, i digress here's the list of the top 10 most common passwords

1. password
2. 123456
3. qwerty
4. abc123
5. letmein
6. monkey
7. myspace1
8. password1
9. link182
10. (your first name)

my weekends are pretty lame. sad but true. i find myself in my bed watcing DVDs for hours becaus I have nothing to do and no one calls. LAME!

i was picked up at the coffee bean by a nice jewish bloke on sunday morning. his friend told him in hebrew to ask me out, he translated that to me, and then we talked a little, he was very nice, and then his friend told him in hebrew that I should convert. yeah, good luck on that one. of all Catholics you come across, i'm the least likely to convert to any religion!!

but it was nice to be asked... anywho, spent all weekend on my internet dating profile, i went live yesterday, but my photos haven't been approved yet, so i'm still waiting to get some responses11 WOO HOO!

i have 2 meetings this week, i'm hoping more are coming down the pipeline, may begins the staffing season!! I CAN'T BELIEE I MADE IT AN ENTIRE YEAR! I DID IT!!!! i was so fucking freaked at the end of last may thinking i would never make it an entire year without (really) workking, but Thank God I did it! I DID IT! never been prouder of me in my life!!

THE POST IT FAIRY

update on my roomie who leaves post-its every where. I ate one of her chocolates just to spite her. FUCK HER

idol gives back

last night i went to the tapig of american idol gives back. it was 2 hours and i was nervous i was going to get antsy and want to leave, but suprisingly it was a total blast. Took my friend Carrie who i know from high school and who i watch idol with every week. SO MUCH FUN

my friend called me out of the blue with the tickets last minute and they were amazing seats and after we went into the VIP area and I saw one of the cast members of house and of course nearly died and watned to go up to her and tell her how much i love her on the show b/c after House she's the best character but didn't because I've never done that and didn't want to start now.

Anyway, had a blast, a really fun night. I love fun nights.

this morn, i went through and replied to all these eharmony matches, why do i still belong to this site?

oh and my photo shoot pictures I can pic up today!! I forgot the little ticket, but i hope they'll still give them to me!! going live next week on another dating site, it's my relaunch (it was supposed to happen a month ago but whatevs.)

in other news, my female roomate has started to put post-its up all over the place basically telling me things to do and not to do. it's annoying. the other day i wa slike are those post its for me and she's like they're for all of us... which means me.

so another one went up yesterday on a bag of girradelli chooclates in the fridge that said "please don't eat thanks" now she knows I dont eat that kind of stuff, has never seen me eat that kind of stuff and still puts the note on becuase she's so stupid she's probably forgotten the million conversations i've had with her how i dont eat that kind of crap, neverthelss, it's fucking so insulting. I NEED TO MOVE OUT!!

woo hoo, i don't have cancer!! phew! what a huge relief! all those things that were removed from my colon the other day were benign. that's a good phone call to get.

I was going to lie to everyone and tell them I dind't have cancer even if I did so it wouldn't ruin my chances of getting staffed on a tv show, but now I dont have to lie!

tonight i'm going to american idol gives back!! my friend trae hooked me up with the tickets and i'm taking my friend carrie who i watch Idol with every week (she makes me dinner, i'll do anything for a free dinner) anything!

photo shoot

yestefday i got up early and headed to Taboo, a place that does hair and is open on sundays! Got my hair done very gisele bundchen and headed to bernsie's for the photo shoot. photos to come by weeks end.

it was really fun. first we went to a park in bev hills and did some color shots, then back to B'shouse for b&w. 4 wardrobe changes, some with glasses, some without, some with sunglasses. poses, not poses, etc. hilarious. all in all 70 pics taken. cannot wait to see them!!!

sat. night went to buca di beppo on santa monica for my friend kate's going away party, then headed out to lounge 217 on the promenade. I wasn't really drinking. but it was fun anywway. Met a cute boy but of course he was from san fran and wasn't picking up what i was putting down.

i have a bunch of meetings this week (actually today and tomorrow) and then the rest of the week I need to finish my pilot (or the bulk of it anyway) and work out and get some rest, I've been super tired recently.

rainy rainy

it's a rainy day here in LA and i like it. i wanted to lay in bed and feel sorry for myself all day but i decided to come to the writers guild and work on my script for my pilot, the one I'm doing just for fun. It's an hour long script a drama-edy. Me likey.

i'm excited for this weekend cause on sunday my friend bernadette is going to take pics of me to put on my online profile. I'm relaunchingt myself online next week (postponed a week cause bernadtte coudn't take the pics last week) the onloy downside is i thoughth I would've lost more... or any ... weight by doing bootcamp, but i haven't so the pics are going to be with fat sarah. but i am getting my hair professionally done before the pics so that should help. even if i haven't lost weight, I did shit my brains out for my colonoscopy so my skin looks so clear and great, definite bonus to the misery i've expeirenced the past 3 days.

so i'll post the pics here too! we're doing some outside (weather permitting) and inside, some with glasses and without, should be fun!! I can't wait to start getting guys to email me cause i'm a beauty! or at least my picture leads them to believe that'st he case.

i'm re-writing my profile and I have already pre-selected like 30 guys I want to send emails to as soon as I join, wasting no tiime!

looks like i made it

my colonsocpy tookplace this morning, that's the easiest part of the procedure. the day before and all the prep is the nightmare. I couldn't eat all day yesterday so i went from tuesnight at 8pm until thurs at 1pm with no food! so naturally i just chowed down and went to Toast and had a big meal and then amy, nat and I split a red velvet huge piece of cake!

my doctor found 3 polyps in my colon, gross I know oh and my antheiologist didn't know any single guys, yeah I asked right before he put me under...

pinkberry

on a totally separate note, i had pinkberry the yogurt sensation yesterday for the fidrst time and i was not impressed. what is all the fuss about. for those of you not in LA, it's like a cult here, it's a fucking yogurt place, that's it, but people worship and are addicted to it. why? i have no idea, it's kinda yuck.

I NEED A BOYFRIEND!

desperate times call for desperate measures. i have no idea what those measures are, so i'm soliciting sugtestions. that is spelled wrong but i dont care.

any whoodle, i need help on finding a boyfriend, doing the interent thing ain't working, telling everyone i meet, LITERALLY EVERYONE that i'm looking aint' working either. Perhaps a billboard on sunset blvd.

on a more serious topic, when i saw in the land of women the other night, i kinda freaked cause the meg ryan character has cancer and her husbnad is not around cause he's having an affiar so she's going through this thing all alone. tomorrow I have to get a biopsy of a growth in my colon which very well could be cancer and i dont have a boyfriend or significant other so if it is, I would be going through it all alone. Now sure it's highly unlikely that someone my age would hav colon cancer, but then again, it's hikely unlikey someone my age would have a growth thre in the first place. I know I have a ton of friends and family who loves me, blah blah, but for some reason, and i blame this reason on meg ryan's character, i want a boyfriend.

so i have less than 24 hours to find a suitable mate. the pressure is on however, based solely on the numerous A's i would recieve writing term papers the night before they were due, I would say I thrive under pressure. So here's hoping i find that mate. Unfortuanately, I"m not allowed to eat all day today so meeting someone in a restaurant is highly unlikely....

and i work out at the gayest gym in LA, so that's out... oy... time's ticking.

last night i hit the premiere of the new adam brody movie... i've already forgotten the title... In the league of women, something about women, a whole lot of women... I dont' remember, where has my memory gone? anyway, i thougth it was cute, albeit very heavy with just about every movie cliche thrown in the receipe: broken heart, cancer, young love, dead grandma, lost twenty something... sorry if I spoiled it for you. IN THE LAND OF WOMEN, that's the title.

I'd like to say I remembered it, but alas i did not, had to google it. Even though I got 2 tank tops in the gift bags that said embalzoned across them "in the land of women," i couldn't remember it. Oy!

so i went to the movie at the arclight with remi and then carrie joined us at at hte premiere party. i had fun, chowed down on salmon and broccolli and then chocolate covered strawberries, a lot of them and then got on the scale this morning only to regret eating those strawberries (oh and 2 glasses of wine)

also last night, i was uninvited to a party that my ex (from like 100 years ago... okay over a year ago) is going to be at. My friend (who i met through him, but turns out we run int he same TV circle and have since become friends independent of hte intial introduction by him) had to call and tell me that she was in fact having the party, but made the executive decisiuon to uninvite me since he's goign to be there with his girlfriend. I'm like who fucking cares? the thing is you just dont make the decision on your own as the host, that is an assumption, at least I would never make, so she obviously called him and he put the kibosh on it, hellloo, it was like a million years ago, get over it. Seriously, he dumped me, aren't I the one who gets to make those decisions?

anyway, she called and uninvited me like the alannis morrisette song. Lame.

Remi and Carrie take me to a lot of premiere and preiere parties, which i love to go to, but some of the parties have better gift bags than the others so here is my ranking of the parties they've taken me to in terms of free shit I've gotten:

1. blood diamond - edun shirts created by bono's wife taht sell at barneys for $50, no contest
2. league of women - a self help book, nail polish and a tank top - not bad
3. Beer fest - i think i got a beer bottle opener - suck!

so much has happened since I last wrote.. so much!

I left NY on wed. and didn't get to LA utnil thurs. I was first stranded in Kentucky, then cincinati, then las vegas where I landed at midnight, checked into my hotel at 1am, met up with friends who randomly happened to be there at 1:15am, drank and gambled and danced until 4am, went to sleep at 430am and got up at 7am to catch a flight to LA.

Now understand with the time difference, I had been up for over 24 hours! Perhaps that is why I dropped about $300 in 3 hours gambling, because I didn't have all my faculties about.

thurs was a wash, I was so fucking tired. Friday night I jsut went to bed at like 9pm and slept for 12 hours. that's something people with kids never get to do! ahh it's good to be single and alone ALL ALONE, HAVING NOBODY TO LOVE, ALONE AND LONELY AND ALONE!

but it doesn't bother me.

last night at church i saw a guy i went on a date with who only talked about the entertainment industyr. I totally avoided him while I could tell he was trying to postion himself to bump into me. I AM SO FUCKING IMMATURE AND SUCH A COWARD! I left after commununion, sorry dad and ran to my car to avoid him. like i said such a coward!

still in NY. I'm still here in ny, trying to get back to LA. the weather in the middle of the country is making it difficult. Just another reason i hate the people in between NY and LA. It's their fault.

I'll be back posting from now on, just have had a few busy crazy days, too crazy to talk about.

so i'm in NY just landed this a.m., cruised over to my friend BJs house. she now lives across the street from my parents! oh and I drove there! no joke, so LA. No i ran out to dunkin donuts and it was raining so i just drove directly to her house. she has 2 kids, it's crazy

so i'm now checking my eharmony profile messages, etc and i asked this guy how adventurous he is actually i asked waht was the most adventurous thing he's done in the past year and here's his answer.

It's drilled into us that a businessperson should always follow a careful plan, and an academic should always be rational. So, most of my spontaneity had be reserved for artistic or private life. I've done some creative designs for Powerpoint presentations or websites that suddenly involved me following some spontaneous idea to its conclusion. Or similar, writing some work (perhaps fiction) I've simply sat down and written almost non-stop until the idea had turned into a complete work. As far as the most spontaneous thing I've ever done, well, I've spontaneously sent people nice gifts on occasion, and that has to rank way up there in the spontaneity-meter.

Umm, did he just say the most spontaneous thing he's done in the past year was A FUCKING POWER POINT PRESENTATION??!?!!?!? this does not seem like the guy for me.

and people wonder why i dont come home that often. years ago I used to come home much more often and stay for extended periods of time and get totally wasted and have fun blowing tons of money in NYC, well those days have changed. I've realized that all my friends in Ny have their own lives and don't necessarily fit into them, natural progression of life I suppose.

Instead of partying in NY my life has been relegated to being an errand boy for my mother. I just got a list of items I'm needed to pick up when i arrive tomorrow, essentially errands to run. turns out my sister in law is too busy to get stuff for the kids easter basket so she has asked my mom to take care of it and guess who my mom has asked to take care of it... ME! and then she also has a list of stuff I need to pick up at the bakery, etc. HELLO, MY TRIP TO NY ISN'T A VACATION?!?! I still need to write every day.

I used to be able to just chill and get wasted when I came home cause i had a job lined up but that's not the case this time, so i need to write every day TO GET A JOB! my parents must think I'm just on spring break or something?!

VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED

Yesterday was quite the day, I had a camera shoved up my ass and then coincidently i had another drs. appt yesterday and so at the gyno I had a few fingers shoved up my vajay jay.

do i really need to go into more details? I thought not.

I'm 32 and have had a camera in me on more than 3 occassions due to insane intestinal crisis i have had over the years. Now I need to get another colonscopy to remove and biopsy some growth. Yeah, I'm fucking gross!

On a better note my gyno gave me pills for my thyroid that will hopefully help me lose the weight that is not coming off through diet and excercise. Here's hoping I soon look like nicole richie!!

I have been working out insane! INSANE! went to bootcamp yesterday and the day before and then the day before that I was at crunch where I was rocking the treadmill next to drew barrymore.

but yesterday at boot camp, I was working out with rex lee who plays Ari's assistnat on entourage.

I might not be losing any weight even though I work out more than arnold schwarnegger, but I am geting to see a lot of the hollywood elite!!

celeb count this week: 5

celeb sighting

it's been a while since I've spotted a celeb, well, that's not true, I see Famke Janssen every day when I get my cofffee at my fave coffee shop, but I dont count her.

Last night on the treadmill next to me was ms. drew barrymore! so exciting, right? she was running and I was running and then my shoe had been tied too tight so I stopped and when I looked up, i'm like that's either drew barrymore or someone who's a really skinny look a like, that's right, she's totally skinny. You know how you can tell someone is super skinny by their arms, she had those anorexic actress arms, yes, i was jealous of them cause i want those arms!!!

anyway, i was running faster than her, FYI!! but yeah, she's tiny, but now i know her secret, hitting the treadmill! I'll be looking like her in no time.

how cute are my neice and nephew?

GO IRISH!!

saturday night my friend kristin wanted me to meet this guy who is a producer on dave matthews albums and for a number of other artists and she thinks i'd likey. so i meet up with her at this party around midnight in the hills at the home of some record producer. this house was crazy insane amazing, complete with floor to ceiling windows, a room with an awesome music set up, sweet piano, drums, bass, guitar both acousitc and electirc, really amazing food, etc. the people had just come from a mandy moore concert like a small one at some small cafe, she's trying to change her sound. whatever that means

anyway, remi and i had been at st. nicks with kyle and bernie waiting for the show to be over and the party to begin so we head up to this party and around 1:30 remi and i sit on the couch to rest our feet when all of a sudden the entire band comes over and starts up an impromtu jam session/,mandy moore concert and remi and i are in the front row totally by accident. I was honestly suprised at how great mandy's voice is. really surprised, i know your're reading this saying "say waht, she blows," but now she has this whole allanis morrisette thing going on without the angsty, dark hair in her face look.

anyway, we watched the concet and then someone else got up and sang and as we were leaving, Ben lee who is a famous rock star was about to get up, but the boy i was supposed to talk to was on the Bass the entire time and i didn't get a chance to speak to him, but he was cute, so that's a start. it was a serious rock star party! these people jam until like 5 am!!! i was in bed by then thank god, i'm such a baby!

I met the hottest guy at the coffee bean this morning, married, but cute and english and boxes!! so he told me to go with him to his boxing gym and take a lesson wiht his trainer to see if I like it, SERIOUSLY I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THIS GUY!!

i think i need to start taking ritalin to help me focus, all i do all day long is play on the internet. I search and search for stories that I can post on the TV blog I write for and then find myself on all sorts of weird celebrity blogs, etc. it's a strange life.

hours go by.

i ran into my friend paul yesterda at the coffee bean he was writing, we used to write together on a show and now he's a movie writer and in my friend circle. Then i headed over to remi and carrie's to watch greys anatomy, which i loved! i thought it was a great patrick dempsey ep, LOVE ME SOME PD!!

i haven't lvoe dhim for a long time, perhaps my love for Hugh laurie usurped that, but now PD is back in the race, what race you say? i have no idea.

got up at 430am AGAIN to go to bootcamp, then came home and slept for another 2.5 hours. I wonder if that just counter acts the metabolism rev up i do for an hour. I'm actually thinking of going every day at 5am!! maybe doing the bootcamp academy that lasts for a month, every day at 5am... hmm, must discuss with keisha.

either way next week i'm going to bootcamp three times cause I can only go one day the following week due to my trip to NY. i'm really enjoying bootcamp, either i'm in much better shape than i was 3 years ago when i used to do it, or barry is going soft.

a little irish joke for the day

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he
had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking
up
to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find
me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me
life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found
one."


yesterday i met with my agents, same old story., they need to find me a fucking job. point blank period.

peer pressure

i smoked a cigarette today, my first one since new years eve. I'm so mad at myself, but i was over at my agency and one of the agents wanted to gossip so she grabbed 2 cigs and we went out to smoKE i apparently have no will power. it wasn't even that good either! well, i did last basically 3 months! and I was going to have one june 1st, but now I guess I already had that one today!

did i mention that on sat. night berna and i watched the secret. I now know the secret and i am already applying it to my life, sure the movie is very hokey, but the message is a good one and one that I totally and completely believe. Sure it's hard to get past the image of a woman longingly looking at a fancy necklace in the window and then she's walking on the beach and the necklace appears around her neck, but if you can get past that kind of thing, then you'll really appreciate the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction.

place an order with the universe and watch the movie.

berna was embarrassed to admit to me that she bought the movie and I was like hello, i've been dying to watch it! so instead of going out and navigating the crowded bars on st. pattys day (meanwhile I had gone out to irish pubs both thurs and fri. night) we drank wine and watched the secret instead.

yesterday i had dinner at the schaffers, corned beef and cabbage, a traditional irish meal. I only at the carrots, potatoes and cabbage asi'm trying to be good on my diet!!!

i bought a ticket this weekend to go to ny for a few days for Easter. but only a few days to see my family, so dont get mad if you dont see me while i'm there. you know how my family is around holidays! HIGH MAINTENANCE

vicodin

yesterday i took a vicodin to help with stomach cramps. It was a nice way to spend the day very doctor house for my friends who love the show, i'm looking at you remi and carrie! I won't say how I procured said pills, let's just say i had them left over from a dental procedure...yeah, let's go with that story, I only actually took a half of one, niiiice. then i went through all my reciepts to do my tax organizing.

i did nothing else yesterday except fill my gas tank, eat badly and go to churhc. not the most exicting day.

today I woke up so confused about where i was or what day it was, i'm guessing the vic had something to do with it, right, cause that never happens to me, I woke up exhausted too and i remember having all these strange dreams, hey i'm starting to think taking vicodin might be bad for you!!

irish soda bread

i love irish soda bread. Oh my is it the yummiest thing ever. For those of you who didn't grow up in an insanely irish family surrounded by irish people all the time talking about ireland and then being sent to live in ireland for a year, you might not know the wonders of irish soda bread, run to your local whole foodds and get some today!

i just got an entire loaf, (i went to bootcamp at 5am so it's okay) and have been gnawing on it ever since. I'm not sure even bootcamp can burn this off! got up at 430am having gone to bed at 1230am and then went to bootcamp from 5-6am and then slept from 615am to 8am. then my friends amy and greg had me over for french toast, yum yum, what a treat after bootcamp. i think i might ttreat myself too much after these bootcamp sessions,...

went out to molly malones last night to listen to an irish band play (a bunch of americans pretending to be irish, hhmmpph,) and it was really fun.

stop reading my blog and go get yourself some irish soda bread.

katusya X 3

last night i went back to the new katsuya! Christie was in town again and she was much nicer to me. phew. ok, so my appearance on the village live rocked the hizzy and they've already asked me back. I loved it! I had so much fun and can't wait to go back again. ALso I've lost weight, not sure how much but in the past week around 3 pounds!!!

going to hear the wild hogs guy band tonight at molly malones, we shall see if he is flirty at 930 with me! (that's the time the band goes on)

shout out to amy who sent me flowers for my appearance (and new career as a talking head) i love them!!!!

got a ton of nike stuff from Christie including a pair of shoed to big for me, so i'm giving them to my friend jenny who is totally broke and last week told me she needs new running shoes but can't aford them! funny how life works out sometimes!!

i will give a full report on my talk show appearnace soon!

I just had my b'ffast, my hair is dry, I"m all packed (never actuallly unpacked seeing as I got here 12 hours ago), and I'm ready to head to the studio, my driver should be here within the hour!! I think I"m ready, I just dont want to go off message and lose track of what I want to say, i've done that before when pitching TV shows, and I look like a bluthing idiot. I think this experiecne is going to be really good for me! Unless I fall when I walk out and the footage ends up on the daily show or something horrible.

I just heard that there's dunkin donuts here in orlando!! we dont have them in LA. Maybe I"ll ask my driver to hit one on the way back to the airport. Cannot believe I'm going back to LA this evening already!

ORLANDO BABY

I'm in orlando for my big TV talk show debut tomorow morning. It's going to be hard I just flew in tonight and have to be up at like 8am which is 5 am LA time but with the hour jump ahead my body will think it's 4am, and everyone looks so super sexy at 4am, am I right? I had some dinner in my room, seeing as I know nobdy at this hotel (which is on the unversal studios property) and there are only families here. I leave tomorrow night at 7pm, not sure what I'm going to do between 1pm and 5pm when my car service takes me to the airport, perhaps hit the rides over at universal studios!!!

Preparing right now for what I"mgoing to say. Went shopping on sat. and got 2 great outfits for the producers to choose from, I'm really nervous, but I'm sure I'll do great, Ii'm just nervous I'll cuss or something.

I'm on tomorrow at noon, so watch me!!!

exicting news

hey everyone, I'm going to be on TV!! on monday at noon on NBC, i'll be on a show called Ivillage live talking about TV couples!! I'm flying to orlando sunday morn and i'll be back in LA monday night. sounds like a rough 24 hours, yet super exiciting. Kristin and I are going shopping tomorrow for a new outfit and right now I"m headed to get my eyebrows and mustache waxed! Yeah, i have a lot of facial hair, it's an irish thing, deal!

got up at 430am to go to bootcamp only to find out that keisha, my bootcamp co hort totally bailed! She was a no show, but i rocked the 5am class and was so happy to be done with my workout by 6am!! good days.

post #401

yesterday's post was my 400th!! how exciting!!

i sat in that jury assembly room all freakin day and didn't get put on a jury, which i'm thankful about, but what a waste of time. Out of the 80people there they only called 30 for one trial and picked 12. I was not one of the ones called so basically they brought in 50 people willing to be on a jury and then made them sit there for 8.5 hours. I took a few naps, played on the internet and read an entire book and ate a bag of wheat thins and maybe a few gold fish and some pirates bootie my one friend who I made had.

last night i went to barry's bootcamp with keisha, it's an insane workout, we're going to do 3Xs a week. We go again tomorrow morning AT 5 AM!!! that means I"ll have to get up GET UP at 430am. but keisha said just think about how good you'll look next month, true that. I'll go back to NY for Easter (supposedly, haven't booked a ticket) lookign slim!!! but 430am is pretty damn early for someone who don't got no job!! i told keisha i'm only going 2Xs a week to begin with, I dont want my body to be burned out and then resiliant to working out!! hopefully it will do okay, i dont feel sore at all this morning, so that's a good sign!!

watched Amerian idol too afterwords with Carrie and Chris. Carrie is my friend from high school who lives down the street from me.

jury duty

I'm currently at the LA superior court house serving jury duty. I"m so bored. this is the most inefficiently run office. HOly crap people are dumb and everything has to be said like 12 times and very slowly.

also i've never seen such an ugly collection of people. What i've also learned is that i dont like be around a large group of strangers, not like in a bar in beverly hills, but in a courthouse downtonwn.

this a.m. bernadette came over at 630am to take pictures of me for her final photography project for her phtotgraphy class. she is doing a series of photos of her friends getting up first thing in the morning and running through her morning routine.

fuck i hope I dont get on a jury, this is the most retarded experience. I've beensiting here for 3.5 hours and nothing has happened yet. NOTHING except a woman going through the paperwork we were supposed to fill out when we first receieved the summons. PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING STUPD! you should hear the questoins they ask, I'm like are you serious?

oh, guess what, we might be getting a break for 15 mins, a break from doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

went out to the new katsuya restaurant last night, FUCK IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD! with one of my best friends christy who is in town for work, we had a very nice time... can't really elaborate on that, things going down in her life, can't share since it's not my life.

but i ate a ton of sushi and she was very honest about her thoughts on how i dress, my hair, my purse (which i said "people always compliment me on it" to which she responded "they lied.")

like i said brutally honest. anyway, I told her I couldn't dress better because I dont feel good about myself and it was only confirmed when i got my hair cut this a.m. and had to sit in front of a mirror for 45 mins looking at myself, and i never never look in the mirror, it's so bad, but i was forced to and all i could think about was how monstrous I am (and clearly my friends agree if you think about christy's comments So i'm glad i'm doing a makeover because if anyone needs it, it's me!

real job

I dont think I would ever be cut out for a real job. I dont know how you people do it. I do however find myself every day at the writers guild lounge for members where I do my writing.

the lounge is in the same building as the writers guild and the people who work at the offices of the writers guild so often I find myself in the elevator with these people who have real jobs.

I cannot for the life of you tell you how many times I have heard the following conversation in the elevator.

SET THE STAGE: I'm in the elevator, I have hit parking level D, a few people come on and one hits parking level C and another level B. Then another person gets on and hits level A

Parking level C person: Oh, i guess we're taking the local. Making all stops.
everyone: laugh laugh laugh
In my head: SAY WHAT? THAT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY AND I'VE HEARD THAT SAME CONVO LIKE 7 TIMES!!

I am so committed to my weight watchesr it's scary. My friend Liz was bothering me about eating or drinking something and thi is what I said:

"I am really committed to losing weight, so I wont be eating or drinking tonight, I'll probably have a small meal before I meet you guys out and I would really appreciate your support during this time but if you can't give it to me, I understand, but I won't be able to hang out with you right now.

YEAH, HOW ANNOYING AM I?!?

wild hogs

last night i went to go see wild hogs with like 30 people with my friend who wrote it. It was a really fun time! We all yelled and cheered when his name came up on the screen, very cool. before he had all of us over his house for some awesome food and this guy came up to me and started talking to me, a friend of a friend who i'd met a few times before. Anyway, he marched right up to me and re-introduced himself saying "hey we met at blah blah." and i was all wathever, but then we sat next to each other at the theatre and chatted for a while before the movie started and i found myself flirting with him!

so then after the movie people were going back to my friends house for drinks all night, but I couldn't go cause my ride was heading home. SO i said goodbye to everyone and this morning I wake up to find an email from him!! Inviting me to hear his band play at an irish pub here in town! (we had talked about where his band played) BUT he said it was great to see me TWICE in the email!! and the email wasn't that long!

an update on this eharmony guy who has cancelled 2 dates, then called me on tues to re-schedule for this weekend, i called him back tues. night said this weekend sounds great and now it's sat. afternoon and i haven't heard from. THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT!

Paper V. Plastic

we all know what it's like to go to the grocery store and get asked Paper or plastic? Usually I just say either one is fine. But this year, thanks to oprah, it's my year and included in that I"m going to be more decisive (which will come in handy i assume at jury duty next week) so in keeping with that I have finally decided that It is now and forever shall be plastic. I will be saying "plastic," from now on and i dont care about the environmental repurcussions. It feels good to not let someone make choices for me! So yesterday, you can see was a big day for me at Whole Foods when I came to this decision


had dinner last night with Liz, Rachel, Kate and Keisha at Jones. It was so freaking good and I was soo good by only eating a salad (with no dressing since I hate dressing and always have) Yeah me!! I have recently come across a picture of Britney spears when she was super skinny and it's now imprinted in my head as what I want to achieve (I know she's also fucking crazy and perhaps I should not be tyring to emulate Britney, but nevertheless, I'm going to get her body!)

naturally I have said this before and failed, but this time I'm serious.

eyebrows

I think that last time I plucked my eyebrows (because I was too lazy to go get them waxed) i may have overdone it a little. so now I have to grow them in and get them professionaly waxed and shaped which sounds easy enough, right? Hardly.

I look like a monkey. I just plucked my left one too much and it starts way off to the left and so while I 'm waiting for the hair to grow back... they look terrible and all messy!!! UGH!

drinks in the valley

yesterday I spent the day at the writers guild. It was below my expectations on the amount of writing i got done, but this seems to be a pattern I'm getting into. Had drinks last night at this pub in the valley called Maeves residuals. I wasn't sure what to expet, it sounded like a shit hole, but was pleasantly surprised when I got there to see it's actually pretty nice. Met up with my friend alexis and we got drinks bought for us by men, which is so strange cause that never happens in hollywood, but in the valley, they think i'm cute!! must rememeber this.

my friend wrote the movie Wild Hogs that comes out tomorrow night, so i'm going to the movie with him and a huge group of people to see how the audience likes it. He has this insanely awesome house in the hills so he and his wife are going to have dinner for everyone there first!! so excited!! i love when my friends have a lot of success and let me get to be a part of it!!!!

end of february resolution update: I had a drag of my friend's cigarette at the casino night birthday party last weekend. but only a drag. one drag in 8 weeks, impressive wouldn't you say.

I think I've gained a pound back, but it might be muscle as I've been lifting weights pretty consistently. I also worked out 4 days in a row!! I think i'll take today off, but might just do weights at my house while watching american idol.

so last wed. night i went out with Kevin from ehar. so he's totally cute,
but he's an actor and ALLL
HE TALKED ABOUT was the entertainment busines.. Like I
even tried to switch topics but he some how was able
to worm his way out of those conversations and get
back into one about ENTERTAINMENT! don't get me wrong
i love the biz, but really, 2.5 hours of talking about
his involvoement in the entertainment industry!?! I'd literally be like let's talk about AIDS babies in AFrica and he'd be like speaking of babies from Africa, what do you think about Brangelina.

also i dont know how many times he said the following
when talking about someone more successful than he is
that he may or may not know "don't get me wrong I dont
begrudge them any of their sucess..." LIKE 8
TIMES!!!!!

anyway, i'm so desperate, i'm going out with him again next week.

Also i gave up sweets for lent which started last week and I'm totally dying! i want candy so bad!!

yesterday i had lunch with Trae, my friend from that 70s show. I adore him. We had lunch at toast where I saw Karen who was a writer on what i like about you with me first season. She is such a fucking cunt whore bitch... i mean, whatever. I hate her and her 80s hairstyle and wardrobe. I wonder if she saw me, i was sitting 4 tables away. She's the one who make my life a living hell on that show, she also took my former writing partner aside and told her that if my writing partner wanted to dump me and make more money, she'd hire her back the next year and not me. this has been confirmed by more than one source who was present during negotiations. suffice it to say I hate her. Well, i hate everyone who was even closely affiliated with that show and whenever I see even a PA from that show out and about, I pretend I don't see them. Mature huh?

Last night I hit the premiere party for The astronaut farmer, a new warner bros movie with billy bob. it was at a really awesome fucking place called boulevard 3 in hollywood, Had a nice glass of wine and some brownie pudding to kick off my no sweets for Lent campaign which started today, Ash Wednesday. I have a date with eharmony kevin tonight and another one with steve from eharmony tomorrow!!!!! BIG NIGHTS FOR ME!!

I talked on the phone last night with...... Kevin from eharmony, within the first 30 secs of the call he told me about this commericial he was in that is now airing. then when i told him what show i last worked on he told me he knew a guy i used to work with and then rattled of all the famous people he knew. Dont name drop to me, seriously, i've been in this business for 10 years, people who live in LA all know famous people, I AM NO IMPRESSED. we see them every day, every where we go, I was walking across the street the other week and My lover hugh laurie was at the stop light. I mean every where we see famous people so REALLY DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS ME WITH THOSE DETAILS.

don't get me wrong i love to gossip about celbs and make fun of them, but i am more likely to be impressed by someone who can do the sunday NY times crossword than can say "cherly hines is one of my contemporaries.."

skin coach

i've got a great skin coach out here in LA. okay, it's a facialist, but isn't it such an LA thing to call her a skin coach? Anyway, I've had 3 facials from her and i'm loving my skin these days! It looks so healthy and it glows. which is good as I have 2 dates this week. one wed night and one thurs (it was supposed to be monday night but got moved)

had a great weekend, won an ipod shuffle at a casino nigth party, will tell u more later. gotta eat.

sup.

nothing to see here. went to go see Wicked last night it was awesome. I had seen the original cast in NY so that's pretty hard to be but it was nevertheless a great way to spend valentines day with a group of girls seing a rocking show.

tonight I'm going to see music and lyrics with my friend carrie. next week i'm super excited cause I have 2 eharmony dates lined up, so hopefully soemthing with come from that! I could use a little action!!! Also my friend Jamie who i grew up with is coming to visit next weekend so there's a bunch of stuff to look forward to. I'm trying to remain positive after having heards about "the secret" on oprah, yes, i do and say whatever Oprah tells me to, okay, i'm not ashamed.

also check out starbucks.com., they're giving away free t-shirts with the specifis of your fave starbucks drink on it, you pick the specifics like if you like soy milk and 2 shots, etc. the giveaway is limited so at 10am PST every day you can go and design your own, TOTALLY FREEEEE!! and they send it to you totally free! my friend got one and says it's super cute

tid bit

interesting tid bit: the letters on my laptop keyboard that have the most wear and tear are as follows: N, S, E

L also comes in a 4th.

last week

last week I went on a retreat to palm spring with the writers of a TV show. It was like bootcamp, I was baasically trying out to be on the writing staff. I don't want to go into very many details about which show, etc until i find out if I got the job or not, but it was so intense. I know you prob. think wow, palm springs, stayig in fancy resorts, rough life, but let me tell you, it was. You're with these peopel 24-7 for every meal and they're watchign you the entire time, trying to figure out if they like you. You're working with them all day and then going out for fancy meal and bottles of wine all night, and then up again working the next morning early. I came home friday and went to bed at 730pm, fell asleep at 930 and slept until 1030am. yeah, i was fucking beat! I will give more details at a later date! I'm stil recovering from the stress of it all.

aw yeah, the beavers dominated during super kickball 2007!!!! Every year my friends have a kickball tourney the day before the superbowl and i've never gone, but this year i represented and was selected to be on the beavers, who have won the past 4 years. We literally got picked like elementary school gym class style. We crushed the punishers and then went for a big drink up later. It was hilariosuly fun!

Sunday was superbowl sunday obviosuly, and once again i was in a rock paper scissors tourney, i was the champ last year, but this year I got knocked out in the first round, bull shit!! I ate way too much food even though I was on the couch in the fetal position during half time in pain from how much I ate, I still managed to eat more cake and cup cakes when they were put out in the 2nd half. I have no self control!!

update on my news years resolutions: I haven't smoked since new years eve and I've lost 4 pounds (using the weight I was 2 days before new years eve

groundhog day

I didn't see my shadow today so I'm not sure if that means 6 more weeks of winter or not seeing as we don't have winter here it makes no difference to me.

excited for this weekend. first off I lost .8 pounds this week, so that's good and now going out i'll feel more confident and comforatble in my clothes (i lost 1 pound last week, so we're moving right along)

going to hear my friend's band play tonight, then have a kickball tournament tomorrow and then the superbowl on sunday where we have the annual rock, paper scissors tournament and I'm the champ from last year, I'll let you know how I do!

yesterday I wrote a little for my ivillage blog and hung out at the writers guild. I just foudn out my friend greg and his writing partner, in teh past month have written a movie and a pilot, now I feel stressed out that I'm not getting anything accomplished, but that all changes today!!! or tomorow, or when i get around to it..

ah february, only 3 more months until staffing season. Well, it pretty much starts next month, but the showrunner meeetings with people who can actually hire me on their shows are in full swing in may. it's been a long long long 9 months. I hope I get staffed this year, I dont think I can just sit around for another year waiting to get a job.. that's when plan b goes into effect yo.

yesterday I hit the writers guild to do a re-write on an article for fandango. I write one every 2 months or so for them. It's a movie tickets website and my friend scored me the gig. I love my friends who score me gigs! then i had dinner with amy and we watched friday night lights. I freakin love that show.

when i came home my mail had been placed in front of my bedroom door. I'm not sure why my female roomie insists on putting my mail in front of my door, meanwhle her and her fiancee's mail can sit of the fucking table until thanksgiving. So today I wrote an email to the both of them saying "hey how about we leave my mail alone much like how if i bring in your mail, i don't fucking touch it, asses!" not those words exactly. but the guy i live with immidiately wrote me an email back saying "i didn't do it," God he's such a fucking child, like that stupid cartoon family circus where there's a ghost who's called not me or i didnt do it or some shit. I don't care if you did or didn't do it, just make sure it doesn't happen again.

monday monday

yesterday I didn't do much. I worked out, wrote a little and yup, that's it. My life is v. strange at the moment. I think i may have come up with an idea for a pilot, maybe, not sure if it's just right just yet, but we shall see. anything else... nope, sorry for a lame day. Oh, i haven't heard from the guy who i went on a date with on sat. so there's that update.

the weekend

so this weekend, i had a grand old time, was crazy busy running around seeing people. Went to the staples center on sat. night for a cliippers game. my friend who writes on scrubs won a box in a raffle and invited myself and 8 other peeps and then some other people from scrubs were there, all guys, so i drank a few beers and flirted my ass off.

i had a date with a guy from eharmony, he was kinda nice and it was fun, kinda. but not knock my socks off, but fine. I mean that 's a lot of pressure i put on myself for a 2 hour date/job interview type thing. If he emails me i'd totally go out with him again, although he failed to say at the end of the date "we should get together again... " so perhaps he didnt lik me. I hate how awk and forced dating like this is. HATE IT and resent it and wish i met my husband in college or in my group of friends.!!!

Last night i drove to the OC to have dinner with my 20 year old cousin who goes to college down there. i took her out to eat and while we were seated, a guy started choking. The women he's with call over the waiter and ask him if he knows the heimlich manuerve and he says no, but proceeds to go behind the guy to do... i dont know what, there was a lot of commotion and i totally got blocked from seeing what was going on even though it was the table next to us. Well, the guy ended up getting whatever it was out of his throat, but i turned to my cousin and said "i know the heimlich" and she's like why didnt you get up and do it and i was like "the waiter guy said he didn't know it and then started hitting the guy on the back, was i supposed to push my way through shouting i know what to do?." And the reality is if the guy did in fact need the hemilich, i would've gone over there and done it, obviously, but they weren't turning to the restaurant for help just yet, I wasn't sure of what my role shoud be.

Simon

I have a friend named... we'll call him simon. I've known simon for about 8 years. I have worked with simon on 2 shows. Simon once told me he liked me. but not in one of those big sit down i need to talk to you ways, but in an off the cuff, we're both in the same coffee shop on the way to work conversations. I told simon I had someone who i wanted to set him up with and said but she's loud and obnxious and he said that's okay I've had a crush on you all these years and I said okay great and left. that was like 4 years ago.

so back in october, I was at a party with rachel and liz and simon comes in and starts talking to us and i introduce him to rach and liz and then simon moves away and rachel says "simon is in love with you" and i'm like SAY WHAT? YOU GOT THAT FROM A 5 MINUTE CONVO? and she said it's pretty obvious. so then my friend paula started dating simon around Christmas and then broke up with him and i was at the movies yesterday with paula's best friend and she said "paula seems to think that simon is in love with you," and i was like WHAT?!

what is going on? I love simon but i dont LOVE SIMON. he's kinda of a total mess. what am i to do? also he's never asked me out! and i'd say no BECAUSE HE'S A TOTAL MESS. ugh! why can't someone who i want to be in love with me be in love with me???

eharmony

here's what i'm up against on eharmony. here's who i am matching with. this is one guy who I sent the follwoing questions to and these are his answers. I don't want to poison the well, i think you can see why i'm including them in my blog:
my commentary is in itlaics after the answer.



Looking back on your life, of what are you most proud?:

I'm most proud of getting my license as a certified public accountant.

THAT is what you're most proud of? Isn't that like me saying I'm most proud of getting my drivers license? I'm sorry, but there simply has to be something he is more proud of! HAS. TO. BE. IF THIS IS WHAT HE'S MOST PROUD OF I CAN'T DATE HIM.

What is the most adventuresome thing you've done in the past year?:

The most adventuresome thing that I've done in the past year was for work. I had to take a one day trip to Portland leaving LA in the morning, drive across the Columbia River to Vancouver, WA. Then I had to cram a full day's work into about 2 hours. Then it was back to Portland airport to be back in LA in the middle of rush hour. Wish I had a chance to have some fun on the trip though.

FUCK SHIT FUCK. I spontaenously took a trip to italy to stay with my friend to go to the olympics with no tickets, no plans nothing, then after the olympics, I just got on a train by myself and bummed around italy. That is the type of answer I want! going on a business trip is not adventurous! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!!

i hate my roomates

so i live with my roomate and a few months ago this girlfriend moved in with us. here is my top 5 reasons why i hate her.

#5 She's dumb!

hey some peopel are dumb, that's not their fault, but she really really dumb because she reapeatedly asks me the same questions over and over and over and over again. that's another thing, she's always talking to me and it's so fucking annoying and it woudln't be so annoying if SHE WOULD REMEMBER THE ANSWERS I'VE ALREADY GIVEN HER. for example last week she heard my radio playing in my room (she's always listening to my phone convos or listening to what's going on in my room) anyway, i came out of my room and she pounces on me the second i step out of the room and is like "do you have satellite radio?" Me: yes. her: cause i thought i heard howard stern. me: "WE'VE HAD THIS CONVERSATION LIKE 10 TIMES ALREADY!! okay taht's not what i really said, but that's what i wanted to say because we've had that fucking conversation A MILLION FUCKING TIMES!! she's so fucking stupid.

so yesterday she said to me "how's your job search going?" and i said to her "my parents always ask me that and i keep telling them that the job search ONLY takes place during may. the weeks leading up to may are very busy going on meetings with the networks, but the actual jobs are really given only in may." she asks me this at least once a month and i've explained to her REPEATEDLY that there is no job search or opportunities between may and may. SO STOP FUCKING ASKING. it's obvious that if i get a job, i'm going to be kicked out so she is eager for me to get a job, i mean there is really no other explanation for her fucking stupidty.


#4 whatever i do she does

she always comes running out of her room when she hears me downstairs in the kitchen or coming out of my room. so this morning, i put a load of laundry in and left the house. I came back two hours later and she has taken over the washer/dryer and doing laundry. even though i have my basket sitting there with a few more loads that i wanted to do. So i came home, saw that she had now taken over the laundry and i was in the kitchen and started to make lunch. so she comes out of hte office (having heard me come in) comes into the kitchen and starts to make lunch. I go into the other room with my lunch and I turn on the news. She finishes making her lunch and comes over and starts watching the news with me. Then I leave. as i leave she hears that I'm walking around with shoes on and gathering my keys, etc and she comes running out of her room to ask where I was going. I pretended to not hear her. I came back 2 hours later, I came in, she heard me sit downstairs and start watching TV, she leaves the office and decides to make a big snack for her and her boyfriend and they sit down at the table and start talking loudly.

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY

TODAY is my big brother's 40th birthday! I can't believe it!! How can i possibly have a sibling that old. Now most of my good friends can't relate because I am friends almost exclusively with the exception of 2 people (and one i'm on the fence about) with only oldest children. so these people would not know what it's like to be going through this. However i'm sure the same thing was thought of me by my brother when I turned 30. He's was probably like I can't believe my little bratty sister (oh yes, i'm bratty, it's true, i'm sure it's a SHOCKER!) is 30 years old. Last time I checked she was 10.

yesterday i went to an abs class at my gym. Now I've been going to classes at the gym over the course of my life all the time, always predominatly or exclusively made up of women. this is the first class I have ever been to which was predominatly male, interesting as i looked around the room. sure i go to the gay gym so it's all gay men wanting to have fab. abs, but still, i was very surprised. I guess women want nice sculpted legs so theyr'e always doing step or yoga. anyway, i suck at ab classes so i dont htink i did any of the moves right since i'm not that sore this morning! maybe it will get worse as the day goes on.

oh, eharmony

so i joined eharmony a few months ago, say about 2 months and it so far has been pretty slow going and that's kind of annoying. I had one date last week and another date yester. with the same guy, we'll call him john. So i went out with john last weekend and the date was kind of a bore and i was pleading with my eyes for the waitress to bring the check. sometimes getting dinner for a first date is a good idea and sometimes it's most def. not because with dinner you're stuck, with drinks you can chug and drink and be out the door in mere minutes.

anyway, all my friends insisted that i need to give john a 2nd chance, i thought they were crazy seeing as I hated the first date. well hate is a strong word, but i didn't enjoy it that much. but to a certain extent they were right, i mean he did fall in the grey area and the grey area usualy is awarded a 2nd date. so yesterday i grabbed coffee with him b/c i had to meet friends for dinner that night (BTW if you get awarded a coffee date for the 2nd date after a dinner date, you've been seriously down graded to a tropical storm, the relationship is no longer a hurricane i'm afraid to say to any potential daters of mine out there reading this)
and john is so nice, but i'm just not that attracted to him and now ih ave to send an email kind of blowing hiim off, I HATE THAT!! i know he won't be devastated after 2 dates to be let go, but still, i think he thought we were having a grand old time, he just didn't see me checking my cell phone 3 times in the one hour we were together. (p.s. i had a very positive attitude going into the date, i dont want to hear from anyonen saying, maybe you went into it thinking you already didn't like him. blah blah blah. no i was really upbeat and positive and wore a cute coffee outfit!)

movie mania

as a member of the writers guild I get sent screeners of all the top oscar buzz movies. Last night I watched the queen and Babel.

Babel was strange and good, maybe tried too hard to be "different" but overall thought it was a great film.

The queen i ddin't love, way over rated. granted I watched the DVD on my computer, but still, it was just eh. Although helen mirren was awesome!!

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

went to the justin timberlake concert last night!! HOLY CRAP HE ROCKED!!! he is an amazing performer, it might be hard to imagine but the boy can freakin' dance, i watched him amazement!!!! it was my 2nd JT concert and this was so so much better, the first one 3 years ago was his first solo tour and he has more confidence now. i'm so lame for typing that sentence.

golden globes

aww yeah, went to the NBC - universal nbc after party last night! It rocked!!! saw all the nbc stars, everyone from the office, donald trump, and donald JR, the cast of heroes, a few soap stars, ben affleck, jennifer garner, a few movie people, all in all very successful star sightings! check out the whole story over at tvcocktail.ivillage.com you probaby need to scroll down as some of the posts have been knocked off the front page.

also my friend carrie from high school who now also lives in bev. hills was at the park with her son last week and was pushing him on the swing and lo and behold, britney spears came over and put preston in the swing next to her son and they were talking for ever and what's funny is THE ENTIRE THING WAS VIDEOTAPED BY PAPPARAZZI AND ON YOUTUBE!!! i will link it later!

I'm wearing my headphones at the writers guild so I don't have to talk to the guy here who has a crush on me. I haven't seen him in like 2 months, but ugh, he showed up today. and when he saw me he said "I was just listening to some of your music." REALLY, HE'S DOING A SARAH MACLACHLAN JOKE TO ME? REALLY??!?!? WHAT THE F@#$Q@? Yeah, that's the way to my heart!

yesterday i had the most fun! I worked on a movie for warner bros. Often times they'll have a talbe read of a movie with the whole cast and then they bring in writers for the day to punch up the script, i.e. making it funnier. Everyone there knew the director except myself and another guy also represented by my agent and if we weren't htere they would've had no jokes. Him and i pitched a ton and got them all in and the other people pitched nothing! hello, you're getting paid to do this! it was very starnge, but it felt so so so so good to be back in a writing room, doing what I love, doing what I'm good at! I really need to get a job this seaon! If I dont i dont know what will be come of me!

b/c my career is ruined I need to get the anger out and i'm off to find a place that will teach me boxing.

last night i went to jackie's and we watched Grease and the apprentice together. her husband went to get us pizza and joined us to watch grease.

my roomate wrote me an email about letting one of the cats out and said it had to be me this morning becasue i was the only one who opened the door however i know for a fact that e said one of the cats he had to also opened the door because i came home late last night and saw a script outside the door and I just didn't feel like picking it up just to be a bitch, so I left it
there and when I left this mronig, he was reading it,SOOO he obviously opened the door and got it this morning. but i can't say, oh, what about when you got the script this morning... because then he'll know i saw it there and didn't pick it up on purpose.

we all know how my 2006 went, do i need to remind any of you? well, 2007 is not working out much better. I have been working on a pilot, mostly doing a shit load of research for it SINCE JULY. and in august I pitched the idea to my agents and they were like, hmmm, not sure it's accessible enough for amercians, only to read today that FOX JUST PICKED UP A SHOW ABOUT THE EXACT EXACT EXACT SAME THING!!!! I'm fucking losing my mind!

I mean, the personal lives of the exact same group of people?!?!! HOLY FUCK!! just goe to show you my agents don't know dick about TV!!!!

FUCKK! now what?

saturday night was fun at least before my world just came craashing down on me, went to natalya's baby shower/party. it was basically just a party with a ton of people I knew, and the only baby shower part of it was I brought a gift for the baby. I told my friend paula about my new years eve story and she told the entire party! that was nice i thought seeing as I didn't want anyone to know that my friend's friend (who is a male) was doing naughty things to me in bed while also doing naughty things to beth, the other girl in the bed. (we were all just innocently crashing at my friend amy's apt. when the guy started getting fresh with the both of us!!)

but who cares about that MY CAREER IS RUINED!

we all know how my 2006 went, do i need to remind any of you? well, 2007 is not working out much better. I have been working on a pilot, mostly doing a shit load of research for it SINCE JULY. and in august I pitched the idea to my agents and they were like, hmmm, not sure it's accessible enough for amercians, only to read today that FOX JUST PICKED UP A SHOW ABOUT THE EXACT EXACT EXACT SAME THING!!!! I'm fucking losing my mind!

I mean, the personal lives of the exact same group of people?!?!! HOLY FUCK!! just goe to show you my agents don't know dick about TV!!!!

FUCKK! now what?

saturday night was fun at least before my world just came craashing down on me, went to natalya's baby shower/party. it was basically just a party with a ton of people I knew, and the only baby shower part of it was I brought a gift for the baby. I told my friend paula about my new years eve story and she told the entire party! that was nice i thought seeing as I didn't want anyone to know that my friend's friend (who is a male) was doing naughty things to me in bed while also doing naughty things to beth, the other girl in the bed. (we were all just innocently crashing at my friend amy's apt. when the guy started getting fresh with the both of us!!)

but who cares about that MY CAREER IS RUINED!

CLEVELAND BABY!

quote of the day: Next time put these items in a zip lock bag instead of one that is a zipper. - the security guy who tore open my bag and took out the little shampoo and conditioner bottles i had and then put them in my clear zipper bag. I guess because the thinking is, while in flight I CAN undo a zipper, but couldn't possibly figure out how to undo a zip lock.

I'm sitting in the cleveland airport, just chilling next to some guy who has a bad attitude in my humble opinion. Went to the gym today and worked out like mad, which is why i felt like I desserved a TCBY yogurt upon landing in cleveland tonight. I caught an earlier flight to cleveland (imagine my surprise when I thought I landed in houston only to find out I was in cleveland) and now I'm waiting for my connection to LA. a guy wearing a bright orange cowboy hat dressed in his pajamas just walked by me and sat down at my gate... I fucking know he's going to be the jerk sitting next to me!

Play Like A Champion Today

quote of the day: "Is that diet?" my dad asking if my pitcher of soda that he wanted was diet coke after he had eaten the following: a bowl of chicken soup, 2 plates of chicken wings, 2 plates of pasta and 1/2 turkey pot pie.

"Play like a champion today" is the quote that is above the exit frpm the locker room to the field at the University of Notre Dame football stadium.

My dad, sister and I went to watch the Notre Dame game last night in NYC at McFaddens. A notoriously lame ass 20 something frat boy bar that just so happens to be the Notre Dame club of NY's football watching bar. My dad being an alumnus and hug follower of their football team wanted to watch the sugar bowl there. HE also was motivated by the fact that maybe my sis or I would meet a nice irish boy, at least a higher caliber man than the meatheads that usually inhabit that bar. Unfortunately the Irish did not play like champions, they got killed by Louisiana State. Stupid southerners.

and alas everyone was around 25 and the bar was loud and crowded so we didnt really get to mingle, but it was a good time nevertheless. Heading back to LA tonight, won't get in until real late, dreading the travel it will take to get there, i don't have a direct flight and that blows.

french

Quote of the Day: "You look better when you are wearing make-up." from amy gross at dinner friday night,

it is believed that she meant to say, out of all my friends you know how to wear make up the best... this was a the begginning of the meal, mind you, alcohol is no excuse!


everything on my dad's computer is in french. the google is the french google and this blogger is competely in french! Ugh! IMPOSSIBLE! (that was my limited knowledge of french being exhibited)

friday night had dinner with amy, noah, remi and carrie (my 2 friends from LA) at mexican radio downtown and then we headed to a wine bar for a few drinks. it was very fun and relaxed! My favorite kind of night.

Friday morning, I had b'fast with alyson (shout out) and went to the gym with suzy. we gossipped while on the treadmill for over and hour and and then we hit the pool. suzy talked to a guy the entire time while i did laps, mind you the pool was like 5 feet wide so even my measly 40 laps probably only amounted to 1/8 mile. got up saturday morning to go to weight watchers only to find out i've gained like 1000 pounds in one week, even after all that working out! Ugh AND IT'S NOT MUSCLE, I PROMISE BECAUE MY PANTS ARE TIGHT! EATING A CHOCOLATE BAR A DAY DOES NOT MUSCLE MAKE!!

i'm heading back to LA tomorrow. Coming back these past 2 holidays has been weird. it appears everyone i know has thier own lives and friends and boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/kids, etc. and seem to be very busy and i spent more time with my parents watching DVDs than going out with my friends, which was enjoyable but not necessarily the reason I come to visit. I suppose we've all grown up and I'm a stranger in a strange land.