cold and gray

it's been so cold and gray in LA recently! I hope may gray and june gloom hasn't now started as early as april! in case you dont know, every june it's grey here in LA, so do not visit and bitch hows theres no sun. Its called June Gloom and I love it. But it has spread into late may and now people call it May Gray... do we really need a name for everything that happens in this world?

anyway, i reached lifetime at weight watchers a few weeks ago, and so you only have to go once a month now and have to weigh your goal weight each time you go or you have to pay, other wise its free! so I have gained like 1+ pounds and now the end of april is coming up and i need to go to WW by next friday and lose that weight before I do, so i'm back to being super crazy eater. I've discovered the challenges by bob harper who is the biggest loser trainer and so now i'm doing them, he doesn't post them every day but i'm going back and doing his past ones, theyr'e just very small things to do each day like "50 pushups 100 situps, 200 squats, walk 6 miles" is what i'm going to do today, but i'll do 300 situps cuz 100 isn't that big a deal since my boxing trainer makes me do a ton of abs even though I hhaaatte them.

anyway, this post is short today cuz i'm tired and need to hand in this outline for this stupid episode I might be writing for a tv show that no one has ever heard of and these people micro manage which is annoying since it's a show for pre schoolers!!!!

anna paquin and stephn moyer

yesterday, the 2 stars from the hit show true blood were coming into wild card boxing gym as i was leaving from my crazy ass boxing workout. now this gym is a total awesome place but its not a celeb type gym. it's one big room, with 2 boxing rings, and a few heavy bags and about 4 speed bags. it's gritty, no frills and i love seeing celebs there cuz it's not a typical place for them and i freaking love that place!!

People magazine has this running twitter feed for celebs. Now I consider myself pretty educated in pop culture yet I dont know who the fuck half these people are on this people feed... juliebenz?? who the fuck is that? I love the word "fuck" yet I'm trying to quit that, but I cant quit it just yet. Fuck yeah!


just got back from Malibu, took the dog to Leo Carillo state park, turns out he hates the ocean. Much like I hate sun. now i'm back on the couch and ready to hit the showers.


What I'm grateful for this week: 2 weeks ago I wrote on an NBC pilot and was sent a Godiva chocolate gift basket. It was in my apt when I arrived back from NY for Easter. Then on Wednesday, Godiva delivered A SECOND chocolate gift basket. I alerted the apropriate people, but they said KEEP IT!!!

FUCK YEAH!

gluten free!

so since october i've been living a gluten free life! well with the exception of australia where I subsisted exclusively on Cadbury chocolate bars!! YUMMY!

But in my real life, i'm gluten, dairy, wheat, sugar, processed foods, soy, egg, free. Thats a mouthful. Actually in australia, they have gluten free things at freakin woolworth, but here in the USA, you gotta pay a fortune at whole foods only!

i went out and bought some gluten free treats for myself today. i know what you're thinking... processed foods! What? you weren't thinking that? only an obsessive, nuerotic eater would think that? FINE! but it's true, these treats are processed but fuck, it's been 6 months, give me a break!

so i bought these crackers, and theyr'e good. also bought gluten free pretzels. just think about eliminating gluten, it will be so good for you, people!

pilot time

it's that time of the year again, time to work for free on peoples pilots. often i'm asked by the studio or network and therefore i dont even know the people who's script I'm working on. yesterday i worked on a new show for NBC and went to the table read which is when all the actors, studio, network, casting, director, writers, etc sit around in a room, and listen to the actors read the script. it gives them the sense of what works and what doesn't.

anyway, the script was written by the guys who wrote a movie last year with the "500" in the title. And they rule. I loved working with them! they are seriously awesome. also there was a show runner from Friends and a few other writers I have met in passing. I had blast, got a bunch of jokes in the script and left very happy.. now I sit and hope i get some sort of present for the free work I did.

anyway, when i first arrived the room was enormous and people were talking to each other and i didn't know another soul, so I went to the bathroom to hide until it was time for the read to start. I'm so weird sometimes. had I had my book, i would've just read, but i felt stupid, so i hid in the bathroom and took a picture of the toilet to prove it. but then as i looked closer, i saw saran wrap on the back of the toilet that looked like it had something in it, but was now empty.... and it got me thinking... did someone bring a wrapped sandwich into the toilet and then leave the empty wrap on the back of the toilet????

this bathroom was in the offices of the tv show Parenthood, so it had to be someone associated with that show, right? but seriously? that's gross right? IN THE BATHROOM? SERIOUSLY??

any other ideas what could've been going on with this saran wrap? curioser and curioser, alice. quote from alice in wonderland.

workout central

the other day I did the stairs on santa monica. they are out doors, aobut 6 flights of about 40 stairs and all day long people just go up and down them. And they're steep and get steeper each flight. I love them, but you really only can do about 6 or 7 before you die. Granted there are people who can do them for what seems to be hours, but the most i've ever done is 7 which i did the other day.

I only have one friend who can do them with me, all my other friends do one set and throw up or give up. I'm 100% serious on this and the only other person who can do them with me, moved away and she probably could do more than me that's why i liked going with her because she pushed me to do better. The picture just shows one of the stair cases, just think it's that times 6 or 7 i can't remember how many flights.

Anyway, doing 24 flight of stairs though doesn't take that long and so i often would rather go to the gym and do an hour of cardio than go to the stairs all the way in santa monica and only work out for like 30 mins. tops. But I did them the other day and my calves are still crazy sore as are my quads.



this weekend I googled randomly, Mr. Belvedere. Remembeer that TV show with the british butler, it was on friday night, one of the only 2 nights i was allowed to watch tv growing up so i watched it despite it not being very good. But i liked the brit butler. Anyway, i googled mr. belvedere and foudn out that he was a deacon at the church I go to in WEst. Hollywood (which is also boystown) until he died in 2001. How insane that I was probably being served communion by MR. FREAKIN Belevedere and didn't even know it or get to stop and appreciate it!!!! I also go to the Catholic church in beverly hills because I live 1 mile from the church, but from 1996-2001, I lived in West Hollywood and would frequent Belvedere's church every Sunday!!!!

runyon canyon

just finished hiking the runyon canyon loop TWICE!! I'm exhausted. I went with my friend who works at nike who is in town and her boyfriend. almost 2 hours of hiking, then we hit Toast for some breakfast and lattes!

now i have an enormous amount of oatmeal sitting in my belly and I want to take a nap. This hike, as well as a few others, is one of the great things about living in LA, that you can hike this 365 days a year!

I'm still boxing, but only once a week now as that's all i can afford. I swear if I was working, i'd go 3 times a week and my body would be sick!!! anyway, my old boxing gloves were rubbish and were time to go! so pepe my trainer hooked me up with some new pink ones, and my lovey!!!

although my old once were 8 ounce and these are 12 ounce so my arms were so tired, insanely so just from those measley 4 ounces.

I'm certain I had the lamest st. patricks day of any 100% irish person out there. first, my BF cooked me chicken parm sandwhiches, which were insanely good. (you'll see a trend here that he cooks for me a lot, but hey I cook sometimes too!! I made turkey chili one night!) but I also appreciate the nights we dont see each other and he stays at his place so I can just juice veggies and call that dinner. anyway, back to st. pattys so after dinner we headed over to Mccormick and schmicks in beverly hills, which is the oddest place to meet anyone under 100. I feel like only super ridiculous centanarians go there for social calls. Also it's in the queer area off rodeo drive called "little rodeo" whihc is supposed to be like this cobblestoned european windy shop area that houses Porsche designs and Tiffanys and stores of that caliber... it' super lame. Tourists are the only ones who go to Rodeo dr., but there I was on St. patricks day.

sure enough my friends and i were the only youngins there (and we ain't that young) and we watched as this old old old guy groped his girlfriend? wife? lady of the night? all night. she had this green sparkly dress on and a short gold lame jacket. very interesting. However, since I gave up alchohol for lent, i didn't get to drink anything other than water... see? this is what i'm talking about how lame I was!

weird thoughts

I play tennis every friday morning at 8am at the Bev hills tennis center. Its all sorts of crazy early for me, but still, i do it and have a really fun time with my friend jennifer who is also an out of work TV writer. Anyway, i won today... AGAIN.!!
but it made me think as i looked at all the balls laying near the bleachers... WTF happens to tennis balls when they're no good anymore? do they just go to the land fill? I've never been to a landfill but seen pics and never seen any tennis balls in these photos. are they biodegradable? this is really stressing me out! i have tennis balls in my trunk and in my house (they're great if your back hurts and you cant get a massage right away, roll on a tennis ball, feels great!)

had great sushi last night with my friend from college, christie who was in town from portland. itzakaya katsuya sushi in LA is THE BEST! by far i've ever tasted! I'm glad it's walking distance from my place. also went on a fun hike and had a great organic lunch. I dont know why everyone doesn't eat organic, non processed food. It's so yummy.

ok, back to learning italian from rosetta stone, today is day one and my brain already hurts. oh and think about those tennis balls and let me know if you have any answers. think about how many there are in this world. should this be my new charitable venture? i'm sure id get so much press and money.

ex boyfriends

do you ever find yourself googling your ex boyfriend just to see what they're up to? I recently did that for a guy i dated for 5 months back in 2005 ish. No idea why, well, maybe because there's a building near where I live that's named after his grandfather and I see it whenever i drive that direction... anyway, i googled him and he most recently worked in a very impressive capacity on a recent oscar nominated movie that broke box office records. And I was just annoyed by that. I do not wish him ill will, quite the contrary, i really dont have a bad word to say about him, and would be very happy if I bumped into him, but for some reason I was just annoyed that his career has taken off, but that's what you get one you are raised on park ave, attend the best private school in NYC and have tons of money. Instead I went to some stupid ass public school where I learned nothing and look where it's gotten me!

Damn you life circumstances!!!!!

p.s. i realize i'm being a brat.

Gabourey Sidibe

I went to the Oscars last week and worked the press room. It was a blast, but I do have one question, is Gabourey Sidibe obese? i can't tell. but can i not tell because she's all glam at all these galas? or is she not obese or is she or what?

workout weekend

this weekend i had a major workout weekend. I hit up yoga on sat. morning with bernie, it was packed, and with nearly 50% men. the only thing that annoyed me was the guy next to me who was obviously in yoga teacher training or something kept trying to help me, which is apprecitated, but the first time that's ever happened to me in yoga that someone other than the teacher offers to help. that is such a male thing to do also. When i worked at warner bros. studios, i'd work out in the gym there and typically i'd work out next to jennifer aniston, rob lowe, brooke shields etc etc basically anyone filming a show there. oh and clint eastwood. i have the best story about how i was on a treadmill and jen anniston got on the one next to me and started sprinting, and i was like "i can go as fast as her" so i sped up the treadmill and then of course, i fell and grabbed onto the bar and held on as the treadmill kept going... and was humilated and yeah, the women on the ellipticl next to the treadmill leaned over and hit the stop button. and i had quite a treadmill burn. FYI I can't keep up with jen anniston.

anyway, at that gym guys would always come up to me and give me advice on what i was doing wrong, what i should be doing, etc. it was very annoying. so this yoga guy was annoying, although very kind. i love this yoga class we go to on sat. mornings, the guy anthony at city yoga is so awesome, and just gives the best classes EVER!

then sat. night we went to a st. patty day party and this irish band was playing in the backyard of my friends house and we were all dancing up a storm. I was sober since i gave up sweets and alcohol for Lent but that didn't stop me from getting up on stage and singing "what would you do with a drunken sailor." then sunday my BF made me french toast and we went on a 28 mile bike ride and it was awesome!!! last night, a hot shower and a hot cup of cammomile tea was the best reward for a hard weekend of dancing, yoga-ing and biking.

FYI, biking is much easier when you have 2 pedals. my pedal came off my bike and i had to bike for 6 miles before we came to a bike shop that could put it back on! don't ask how i biked with one pedal, i have no idea, sheer determination i suppose.

gong hey fat choy

that means happy new year in chinese. on sat night i went to chinese new year dinner with my friends the joes, it was great fun. It was new years eve! a bunch of us went to dinner in monterey park where most of the chinese folk live here in LA and had a great dinner.

before that my boyfriend and I went to the wine, cheese and chocolate event sponsored by learn about wine. It was really fun! the chocolates were amazing, i sat down and immeidately started eating them, before the event actually started. what? i was hungry!

sunday morning we got up early and went on a bike ride with a group of my friends for 20 miles in the valley! it was amazing, they all had super fancy rode bikes and I was riding a hybrid, so it was heavier and not as fast, so they all ditched me pretty quick but by the end, when they were all tired, my advantage of being in great shape took over and smoked a few of them. Finally, all my hard work paying off. The one thing I didn't l ike was riding on the main road, las virgines, too many cars so i felt very scared, but the rest was beautiful. it was sunny and 75 degrees and a crisp clear day!

yesterday I hit up pasadena with my cousins, shopped around and had lunch. They're christian fundamentalists and so sometimes i'm very awkward when they say stuff like " you know on the news it said global warming was fake..." i'm thinking first of all who calls it global warming anymore, it's called CLIMATE CHANGE, and it's real. just go to australia. second i'm so tempted to engage them in Pro-life discussion becuase while they're against abortion and say "i'm 100% pro-life," they should end that sentence with... "unless that baby turns gay or is black or is an immigrant, then i'm not pro-life, i want to deny them rights." If you're pro-life you have to be PRO-life, all life, not just a baby in utero.

that's my political rant for the day.

i also went to yoga yesterday and then i have no idea what i did the rest of day... how does that happen?

whazzzup??? I just saw a rainbow. I cant believe how cold it is in LA. i mean sure it's freezing in the east, but for LA this is freaking cold, it's in the freakin 50s! WTF? I didn't sign up for this when I moved to sunny LA.

speaking of sunny LA, i just got into business school here! woo hoo! I also got into school in seattle which is a full time program. My school in LA is a part time program, so basically 2.5 years instead of 2. Not sure what to do, but most likely i'll stay in LA, my boyfriend lives here now and i love love love my life here, it's pretty damn good, save for the no full time job part. but maybe seeing the rainbow is a sign!

toinght i'm making stromboli for my friends chris and carrie and we're watching American Idol. I'm super excited as stromboli is way bad for you! and I"m going to eat it and not care... but it's not coincidence that i have my trainer for boxing tomorrow at 830am to start working that shit off. needless to say it's been a protein smoothie and vegetable juice food day today and will be tomorrow. that's the only way you can eat poison that we americans call processed foods available to us in the grocery store. yes i'm insane, i realize i'm a completely and totally neurotic eater.

speaking of putting poison in my body, this weekend my boyfriend and i are going downtown to a chocolate, cheese and wine event. very excited! it's a company that has ton of wine events and i went to "wine bootcamp" a few years ago. mY friend bernsie and i got so drunk at the wine bootcamp that her boyfriend (now husband/future father to be) had to come pick us up and then we made him go to the grocery store and we got icecream. anyway, i'm excited for this event, it sounds fun! how come they only have these things around valentines day, i like wine, cheese and chocolate all the time!!!!!!!

i wish i have been writing more, the truth is, MY LIFE IS SUPER BORING! all i do is write, workout and hang out with my BF. although last week we went to pee wee's playhouse live show. remember paul ruebens from the 80s? he was pee wee herman and then was arrested for jerking off in some gay porn theatre, anyway, he's back and is putting on his live show of pee wee's playhouse and it's awesome! my friend josh myers is in it so i was hoping i'd get to meet pee wee, but alas that was not to be. pee wee was giving a meet and greet while we were in the VIP area hoping he'd show. oh well, it still was hilarious, nostaligic and all that amazing stuff!

i swear i'm writing more, swear.

happy 2010 bitches!!

I'm back from Australia where I was travelling for three weeks! had the best time EVER except in the outback which was hell on Earth. HELLO ON EARTH I SAY!

Sydney for NYE was one of the most amazing sites to see. My great friend Jamie who I grew up with and his finacee now live in Sydney and their building over looks the harbor bridge and the opera house so we went on top of their bldg for the fireworks. Actually both sets of fireworks as they have one at 9 and 12! Rob, Jamie's borhter also was there he moved to Sydney too recently.. Must be nice to be citizens of another coutnry where ther is no financial crisis and be able to get great jobs!!!

so now i'm back in LA, sitting at my desk wondering where to be 2010. My boyfriend's dog is sitting behind me, this dog crazy loves me, it's mutual i'd have to say. I was going to take him back to my boyfriend's apt. but i'm sure the dog would love to stay with me because I'm such entertaining company!

I'm so obsessed with Sydney australia now, i'ts without a doubt one of the most beautiful international cities ive ever seen, and considering ive been to 26 countries that's a pretty major feat!

so I"ll post pics from my trip this weekend once I download.

ok, wow i haven't updated in a while, so much has happeend,

I went as one of the golden girls for halloween with 3 other of my friends, quite a succesful out, except this one guy who was dressed as Jesus and was excited that i was bea arthur because he used to masturbate to bea arthur growing up! The first time I ever ran away from a boy! he followed me everywhere, hilarious.

ive pitched a show to Disney channel and re-pitching tomorrow, I met to be a writer on the Jonas brosther show, but didn't get it, probably because my car broke down a mile away from the the building and i had to walk the rest of the way there!

I met on another show that shoots in montreal, meet again tomor.

I pitched other ideas to Lionsgate, they want to do it, but the producer they attached to the project doesn't, so now thats in limbo.

My boyfriend moved here from NYC, so that's been fun!

I went on a 3 week cleanse and now I dont eat proccessed foods or wheat, soy, dairy, eggs, sugar, gluten, and anything else really! clean living is the way to go for sure, been doing it for 6 weeks and loving it! I messed up this weekend, stupid holiday parties and today I woke up feeling like death, just goes to show you you are wha tyou eat!!

I got rejected from another business school that I re-applied to... i'm starting to give up hope for anything to work out!

BUT... i'm leaving for australia for 3 weeks in 10 freakin days!!!!! WOOO HOOOOO

I leave on the 24th land on the 26th and it's offcially a year with out Christmas, which is apropraite given the shitty year it's been!

TOP 10 THINGS I LOVE (5 more to come later)

10. boxing - if you're ever in need of a new workout because you're bored with your old, try boxing. not only is it changing my body (my arms are actually starting to have muscle definition!) but also you're happiness. i'm on a natural high for 48 hours after i box. it's amazing and it's a great release getting to punch things really hard over and over for an hour. also i do crazy amounts of sit ups so my gut is also changing.

9. Hello kitty - last week I went to a hello kitty convention in LA in celebration of 35 y ears of hello kitty. I got a t-shirt, iphone cover and new change purse, all adorned with my favorite cheery kitty.

8. my sirius satelite radio - i love listening to howard stern all day and all night long!

7. Katsuya - this LA sushi place is legendary, it's so freaking good. You've never had sushi prepared in such amazing ways that blend different tastes all in one amazing dish. Its a party for your palate. They've expanded into a variety of arenas - dont be fooled by the one in hollywood or brentwood, they've taken the name, but not the recipes or the sushi chef talent. No, the ones you need to go to are the Katsuysas on 3rd, in studio city, or encino.

6. the smell of whatever the woman sitting next to me is eating - i know that's random, but it's from whole foods and it smells amazing. It looks like some sort of black bean soup, which just so happens to be my favorite food that i LOVE! My mother makes a great black bean soup, must get that recipe. Although black bean soup shares my favorite food honor alongside mashed potatoes. Although I really only eat mashed potatoes on thanksgiving, or at Jones in hollywood which has wasabi mashed potatoes that are to die for, but again, i only get there like once a year.

TOP TEN THINGS I HATE AND/OR THAT PISS ME OFF

10. Garrey - you dont know him, but he works at the WGA and annoys the fuck out of me, just seeing his name on the writers lounge sign in sheet and i'm like, ugh fuck, i hate that guy. He's just creepy and annoying and therefore I hate him.

9. my life - yes, i hate my life. I'm miserable right now. Actually this very second i'm not miserable as I boxed this morning and that does wonders for my euphoria!!! but typically, i hate my life. I could stay in bed alllll day and no one would ever know. NO ONE is expecting me to be anywhere EVER!! I am fully aware that people who have jobs can't possibly even in the slightest comprehend hating not having anything to do during the day, but believe you me after 4 years of it (give or take a few months where I was on a show or writing pilots etc) you'd be going bat shit crazy yourself.

8. Candy Corn.... because I love it soooo much and I can't stop myself from eating those delicious candy corn pumpkins of goodness and so I hate it.

7. My wardrobe - my clothes either don't fit because they're not the right size (i can't seem to order clothes correctly as I keep ordering them too big) or they're falling apart b.c I'm too lazy to go buy new ones. I have so many other things I need to buy BEFORE clothes. which leads me to...

6. My car - how did this happen? How could I hate my car? where did this relationship go so wrong? In a city where you're in your car constantly, i've developed a love affair with my VW passat. I mean, I used to love love love this shiny silver happy car. Now ten years later, I hate it so much. 2 people hit and ran and destroyed it in July. One person backed up and smashed my hood so much I can't open it. Much like I could never love my child if it were ugly, now my car is ugly and I hate it.

5. Flossing - I do it, but I hate it, I just do. I feel like an animal, which we all technically are, whenever I floss. Like I'm a dog who's teeth I have to worry about... did i just call myself a dog? wow. that's not good.

4. my life - i know I already mentioned it, but i'm serious, i really hate it. and yes, I know that there are many wonderful aspects of my existance: amazing friends, a sick apartment in Bev Hills, 80 degree weather every day for the past 14 years, blah blah blah. I'M SO FUCKING BORED WITH MY LIFE AND EVERYTHING I TRY TO DO TO CHANGE THAT FAILS!! I am like Midas, but instead of turning to gold, everything I touch turns to shit! Yesterday I was in my therapists office and we were talking about my miserable existance. I said, despite all my efforts professionally nothing has changed, a year ago I was sitting in here and having the EXACT same conversation with you. That's when he said "actually, that's not true. Things have changed. They've gotten worse." THANKS! SO INSPIRING! (he's actually a kick ass therapist)

3. All these newly discovered planets - i'm not impressed, i mean i feel like this is soooo american, we're not just satisfied with the amount of planets we already had noooo we had to go out and get 32 more!!! which is hilar b/c like any american kid is going to rememeber the names of 32 MORE planets. I'm sure the avg. american can't even name the 8 we got (used to be 9 but pluto can suck it)

2. People on Facebook who try to prove to everyone else that they're life is awesome - I never tried to do that because I'd be lying, and the reality is they are lying too. If i see someone on FB talking about how great their life is, i know they're more miserable than I am if that's humanly possible and they're trying to prove to everyone they have a good life even though they dont. I want to be like "Hello, you live in the south, there's no way you love your life!! Nothing good comes from the South.... wait, where was candy corn invented? Ok if candy corn was invented in the south, than maybe ONE thing good can come from there. There was an article on the huffington post recently talking about how unhappy women are despite the great strides they've made in the past 40 years. So don't be trying to make be believe that you're the exception to the rule.

And the number one thing I hate....
1. Valet Parking - it's a necessary evil in LA, even at b'fast places, dentist offices, basically everywhere. And it just reinforces how much I hate my car when my passat is in line with a porsche, bentley and rolls royce and I apolig to the guy who gets stuck driving my car as it's often on an empty tank b/c i'm too lazy to fill it. I"m just waiting for the day a valet guy gets stranded b/c my car runs out of gas...


I'm not a Debbie Downer, tomor I will list my top 10 things i love!!!

this stapler probably is contributing more to the world than I am.

lots to tell about this weekend, hit the sing-a-long sound of music at the hollywood bowl, the best one ever and I should know I go every year. will send up full report after yoga!

Oh yeah, it happened, the thing I didnt think could ever happen, happened! FOX PASSED. More devastation about that later. SO my producers called me today to tell me, and felt so bad and he said "i just wish people would just let funny people be funny," and they have a project they want to talk to me about. Probably the most frustrating thinga bout this entire journey is I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ON IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

I wanted to be in business school in september '09, not picking myself off the pavement and heading into pitching to all the networks! Now before you say anything, yes I realize that THOUSANDS of writers NEVER get the opportunity to walk into a network pitch and have the executives scream their names in delight, so yes I recognize that I have acheived a level of success in this industry attained by very few, that being said, i made a decision to leave the failing tv business a year ago and put my skill set to something entirely different and that didn't work out and now i'm trapped in this vortex of fuck-iness. I just wanted to be doing something different but when I was rejected from every biz school, i recommitted to this biz, although really what alternative did I have? curl up in the fetal position and do nothing? well that's not an option for me at least. on that note, i have become that friend that all other friends say the following to after each passing rejection "i admire you so much for keep throwing your hat in the right amid constant disppointments!" OH GREAT NOW I'M THAT FRIEND! i liked it much better being the friend no one took seriously and didn't expect much from, but then went on to achieve great success as a tv writer, but nooooooo that role has stopped and now i'm the friend who is like some freaking perserverance superhero who conjures up Pity in others.

the reality is, after hearing that I got passed on by fox, i wanted to go out and do something horrible, but i couldn't even think of anything. I'm too fucking nice and that needs to change now, but i dont even have the energy to be a bitch or mean or an asshole. But what has being nice gotten me? amazing friends? eh, i'd rather have a job at this point. I just never thought being such a nice, loyal, reliable, honest human who gives back to humanity on a regular basis would reap me such heartache, rejection and constant disappointment. I mean the Bible says you reap what you sow, so WTF? I've been sowing good shit like crazy and i'm not reaping crap! not even a good Greys anatomy premiere last night so that was 2 more hours of torture...

ok, off to the gym to work it out and then i'll be back to my spirited self.