so i made it to london. yesterday i landed and got to my pad, it's in a sweet neighborhood at the bottom of tower bridge. Great places to walk around and it's right on the river and the tower bridge at night is quite a sight. \i got a beer at this bar on the rivers edge and just sat and checked out the bridge. yesterday i walked and walked in order to not fall asleep. i didn't sleep very much on the plane even though i took 1.5 ambien.

i probably walked 8 miles to buckinham palace, hyde park, clarence house (home to the princes william and harry, hubba hubba) mayfair, camden lock, camden canals, camden town (very much like melrose, only grayer)

this morning \i did the gorilla run and it was fucking amazing. i could not stop laughing. we ran over all the bridges, ran by all the london sites, it was truly a great way to see the city. i sweat my ass off in the suit, and its sunny today, ITH'S NEVER SUNNY IN LONDON I CAME TO GET AWAY FROM THE SUN!! and its sunny. alright, i'm off to the tower of london, a medieval castle smack dab in central london!! pretty fucking cool! that's where they chopped off all the heads of people like anne bolyen, yeah, im a history nerd.

no men yet, i only had a beer last night or 3 but whos counting and crashed hard!! i was so fucking tired. anyway, off for now.

what ho! i'm headed to jolly old england tomorrow. I cannot cannot wiat! I have meetings set up, one is a tea! hilarious! One is a drinks, which of course I'll love as i need things to do in the evening.

i got a new top from banana. I got a clean white top for my meetings! so excited to leaving l.a. behind for 10 days to drink, walk around, have meethings, i'm going to watch rugby world up on sunday at a pub in kensington with my friend alan's friends. yahoo!!

I do the gorilla run on saturday, pictures to follow upon my return. I'm super excited to make out with an english lad(s), my face is waxed and plucked, my hair cut all cute and tonight before I go, I have a free ticket to see Justin Timberlake at staples and a limo to take me there!! woo fucking hoo!!!

next stop London!!! awesome! i'll fill you in on all the details this weekened about the gorilla run!!

i had a date at formosa last night. I thought it was going well, he was very cute, very me! which i was finally glad about. his emails were funny (well, mine were funnier, but still) and so it was going well, but at the end of the date i dont thinkhe liked me.

first off we split the bill. not that i expected him to pay for all of it, but it wasjust happy hour appetizers and drinks! helloooo.

then he didn't walk me to my car. in hollywood, not hte most safe neighborhood. and he's from the south so he should know better they're gentlemen for fuck sake.

also he was like "we shoudl do this again" and i didn't believe him and i'm not sure i wanted to do it again so i said "yeah definatelly" very fake enthusiatically.

but i think he may have been having fun then got a vibe off me that i wasn't having fun so then he didn't have fun. Dating is such a fucking mine field.

last night i went to my really great friend from college's parent's house. she was in town for rosh hahanana and i get invited every year for dinner. I am usually horribly uncomfortable as her step dad gets drunk and touches me inapporpraitely. anyway, this year it was a big crowd and even though the SD planted himself near me during the post dinner pre dessert break, I only spoke to him a little then went into the kitchen to help. you know i am desperate to get out of a sitch if i'm HELPING!

anyway, before desert, my friend's father in law gave a toast. thanking each person present for something. this is the order of the people for the toast and i cannot believe i'm not making this up.

my friend
my friends' mother
my friend's step father
my friends aunt and uncle in law
my friends cousin in law
my friends sister's boyfriend
my friends sister
Granny
the kugel (a jewish dish)
the brisket
ME!!

I WAS AFTER THE MUTHA FUCKING BRISKET!!

HAPPY 2 MONTH ANNIVERSARY

I know i said last month that I wouldn't be wishing myself a happy anniversary every month after my appendix was taken out but I had to today for the following reason.

two months ago today i had my appendix out, so i decided to celebrate this morning by being a perfectly attentive driver and getting hit by a driver who was drinking coffee and not paying attention, which dont' worry, i scolded him for. I said "what were you doing?" He todl me drinking his coffee so i said "Well you're driving a car so you're supposed to be paying attention, you're supposed to be focused." yeah like i think i mentioned before i've become a short fused mega bitch recently.

anyway, my bumper has so many scractches from living in west hollywood for so long, so i coudln't tell if he did any damage, but i did take his info in case my back hurts, which is now does. I took his insurance info, and i felt bad b/c his hands were shaking. I feel like i've let so many people who've hit me off the hook, why do i do that?!

i'm too nice. maybe something will work out for me one day.

got notes from mtv on my project. From now on, we've been told that the star of the project wants to beon all the notes calls so next weeks call is going to be have to be cancelled and reschudled over and over i'm imagining. too bad I'm heading out of town on the 20th to london for a little r and r so they'll have to get it together before then. (or wait until 10/1)


didn't do anything interesting last night, went to the gym that was pretty much it. tonight i'm going to drinks at dominicks for a bday party and then tomorrow night my friend will forte's movie The Brother's Solomon is opening and a huge group of us are going to the opening night showing in westwood with the stars of the movie! (which includes will) i think we're buying out the entire theatre!!! so fun! this is the 2nd movie opening night thing i've gone to for a friend this year! when is this going to happen for me that my movie is opening. Dman, i sound so whiny!

wow its wednesday, where did the week go.

the disappearing guy has i believe disappeared for good. he last texted me on friday a.m. and haven't heard since, suffice it to say i'm not optimistic that he's "the one" (i dont actually believe in the one so lucky for my)

this weekend, i went to BBQ after BBQ. I worked out, gained 3 pounds and had a visit from my good friend from high school tina who was here on business. i made her go to the four seasons spa with me for massages as I felt I both needed and deserved one. then we had cocktails at the rooftop spa and then continued drinking at Dominicks where I am every week in case you haven't been following the blog. I end up there at least once a week drinking pinot noir at the bar, it is a delight as i can walk there and its also dangerous cause i can walk there.

but i had fun with tina, it's fun to see friends who've known you forever and there's not pretenses or bullshit.

MY NEW THEORY

I died during my appendicitis.

And instead of going to heaven, I've been sent to hell.

which looks an awful lot like Los Angeles and doesn't say much about my friends who can still see me...

157

i got on the scale this morning scared of what i was going to see as i have been eating a lot these past few days and low and behold I am 157 which is the exact weight i was when i first weighed myself after my surgery.

i know it may sound like a lot and for most people it would be, but its' not for me cause i guess i have a lot of muscle, i dont know. Anyway, before my surgery i was 165, so i'm glad this weight has stayed off, through much work i have to be honest, working out, eating very little and writing down all the calories... oh yes, i'm insane!

in case you're wondering what it's like to be me...

this is a very accurate way of putting yourself in my shoes!

this is how i feel every day of my life even if i dont act it... this is why Amy calls me JOB (the guy from the bible that had all the bad luck)


i am charlie brown and God (if he actually exists which i'm not so sure he does) is Lucy... he always makes it seem like he's going to FINALLY allow me to kick the ball... and then.... well you know the rest.

it's a sad day when you think the best thing to happen to you this year was a surprise $90,000 surgery....

IT'S OFFICIAL

i have been rejected at every network! woo hoo.

the producer loves this pitch so much she wants to take it to some cable places. grrrr. i currently hate the pitch and i dont want to do it anywhere at this point.

i'm so sick of things not working out for me. Like the pitch or the disappearing boy who has... disappeared again. or just read through my blog and youll see nothing ever works out for me...

how much more can i take?! serioulsy

p.s. i know i dont have it as bad as 90% of this world, so please dont email me platitudes like 'everything happens for a reason"

two networks passed on my pitch. the 2 i didn't think would wnat it anyway, so it's no surprise.

i went out with disppaearing boy last week and had a great time, then he texted me all sunday afternoon, but didn't ask me out?!?! remi says I'm prob. in the mix of women he's dating. FUCK MEN!

i'm working right now furiously on my MTV project... i have something that is due today, but i'm not sure i'll have it done before my pitch at the final network this afternoon. i'll prob. have to come back to the guild after my pitch and finish it up (or finish it from my office at home i suppose) I'm stressed about it as there are 7 exec. producers on the project and they're not all going ot get on board with the entire thing i'm sending them...

i'm so tired from working so hard, i've been on the go for weeks. hopefully after my movie pitch on friday (that i need to write wed and thurs) i can get a massage or go to bed for the weekend!!!

so last night i had to go to a party for my friends baby and I drove Kristin and on the way there she told me about how... ok, i'm going to start from the beginning..

there's a super cute guy who works at the lounge, i'd even go as far to say he was hot.
so one day we found ourselves in the elevator together and i totally flirted with him and this is when i was living with kristin and i wen tohome and told her... well she started using the lounge and guesss who i saw her flirthing with?!@!?! so then yesterday i guess she ran into him at kings road, he was with another friend of ours, and then she was crossing the streeet and was halmost hit by a car and GUESS WHO WAS DDRIVING IT!!! so she is obsessed with "meet cute" stories, that's why she never tells anyone if she's dating a guy she met online, but it's not a meet cute story and she likes a good story, so the fact that she almost got hit by him, she thinks this is a sign... come to find out he expressed interest in her to their mutual friend and so i think they're going out and kristin decides to tell me this while lost in bumble fuck LA trying to find this party last night... so yeah, she stole my BF!!! i cannot believe her "and shekeeps saying stuff like "well if you dont want me to go out with him I wont," but really can i say "ok" cause she'd probl go out with him anyway.

I'm not sure about this, but now i kinda suspect that she came to the writers guild only after i said there was a hot writer there....

Yesterday I had to write but it was good cause i got a lot of work done. I met kristin at insomnia and she wrote as well. I should also write today but i'm not sure i'm going to be able to.

last night i went to the party thrown by one of the cast members of bones. I was psyched to go cuase he's super cute, but when off the set he does something with his hair that makes him look kinda gay. anyway,it was a huge freakin party and i ran into other people i knew there as well. great music oh and in the middle of the party aroujnd 1am they started serving BITE SIZED GRILLED CHEESE SANDWHICHES!! it was GENIUS! they would put them on the trays and wouldn't even get in the back yard before the tray would be empty, people were FREAKING out over them. naturally today i feel totally sick as i had about 12 of them: oh they are so small i said to myself... not if u have 12, they pretty much amount to 4 sandwiches!!!

oh and johnny sweep the leg from the karate kid was at the party, i know him through the old roomate.

so yesterday I spent the day pitching to 3 networks my sitcom pilot. It was so intense, you go into these room with these execs and put on a little play for 20 mins. and ih ad to do that 3 times yesterday and then i went out and got drunk. I had remi and carrie over for wine and then they went to a dinner party and I drank a little by myself and then walked to dominikcs to meet up with kristin where i proceeded to drink a lot more and wanted to go home with the guy sitting next to me which turned out to be a director from my favorite show!!! it was coool cause my friend came by to say hi to me and she's a tv director so i think i might have gotten her at least a meeting to direct my fave show.... and then i could meet my tv boyfriend, again!!!

anyway, pitching is so hard for the soul as the studio i work with loooooved my pitch and so when i went in to pitch it it's hard b/c these people dont laugh or sometimes they yawn and when that happens i start hating on myself something fierce and start an inner dialogue WHILE also pitching on the outside!



on thurs I was walking past that restaurant across from Toast and saw natalie maines from the dixie chicks, love her! did u ever see their documentary? it rocks, she rocks.

so today i had to get up early to go to the LA parking permits office to get a permit for my new apt. I did this a month ago, but they wouldn't give me my new permit to park there b/c my car wasn't registered to that address. Apparently when i last regsitered my car i was supposed to be able to predict the future of my new address and put it down.

so i had to go to burbank to AAA to get a new registrattion, it only cost 20 bucks, i can see why too as they took 3 seconds to punch in my new address and hit print. Then u have to pay for the parking permits, you basically have to pay to live in your neighborhood. wahts' the point of paying for these things. i understand having permits for those who prove they live htere, but 30 bucks it lame, THEN i had to get 2 visitor permits, now sure no one visits me, but just in case! Also maybe eventualy i'll get a BF. oh and these visitor permits at 15 bucks each and are only good for 4 months!

anyway, on my drive home i was at the corner of doheny and 3rd when a grey new range rover made a left onto doheny in front of me. I thought huh, that guys looks like an older keifer sutherland, and as he drove by me i was like THAT IS KEIFER SUTHERLAND smoking a cigartette at 9:30am!!! he's v. cute even when lookign old.

a hangover

i have a hangover, and feeling nauseas (sp??) which is unfortunate as I am leaving the WGA to go pitch to SONY my pilot... grr. whatevs, this is a practice pitch that doens't count, but it leads me to believe something i suspected... i'm TOTAL FUCKING LIGHTWEIGHT NOW!!!

I SAW DAVE ANNABELLE FROM BROTHERS AND SISTERS AT THE GROVE YESTERDAY. he's ridic hot!@!!!!!!! omg omg omg omg! love him!!!!

this is a queer pic of him i foudn, he looks so much better in person!!

today i have to head to some hotel in burbank where i'm pitching my show to sony for a pre pitch (i pitch to all the major networks on friday!!! excpet ABC which is next tues.) i guess they're too busy to go back to the studio so it's going to be weird... like my life!!!

i have a po box b/c i moved out of one place 6 weeks before i could move into my new place. so i needed a place to forward my mail. i go there like every three days or so, and this morning i swung by and my box was packed! i had this thick envelope from the writers guild taht was a residual envelope, meaning checks were inside and from the looks of it A LOT OF CHECKS!!!!

so i tear open the envelope and indeed a ton of checks seven of them!!!! woo hoo i thought to myself until i saw how much they were for: SEVEN BUCKS EACH!!!!!!!

a whopping 49 bucks. hey i is not complaining, because i got my cell phone bill and that was for like over 50 bucks so that worked out nicely.

ran 2 miles last night at the gym, i'm building back up to my former self!!

i've realized today that I think I"m immature that's why i'm not in a relationship and dress like a college co-ed.

It's not like a like fart sounds, but I would never turn down a build your own sundae bar, in fact I fancy them more than I do cocktail parties.

went to this place called americas cup last night wehre you serve yoruself fro yo, then put on as many toppings as you like and then they weigh it and charge you. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED THIS PLACE! I told my cousin I was coming back every day (problem: its like an hour south of me) but see i'm immature. what grown up delights in such things?

as most of u know, i work at the writers guild lounge every day (week days)

today they posted a sign that the loungue is closing for negotiations of the contract and could be closed for like a year!!! this is the only place where i can write from and it's a great resource and it's a place where i have a little contact with others!

so i got on the phone and i'm currently leading a revolt, even got a petition. I guess I'm a leader. Now we can't keep this place but i'm aksing for an alternative!!! or a compromise!!!

monday monday

sooo yesterday i ate like a pig and didn't go to the gym.

hey did i tell u i saw brekkin myers at toast the other morning... WITH A BABY?!?! when did that guy have a baby?! v. confused. also saw sarah silverman's SISTER at my ghetto prison gym... celebs: they're just like you and me, they're cheap!

went to the O.C. yesterday to help my cousin decorate her "hall" she's an R.A. at her Christian College. Her mom (my first cousin) was down from seattle so I drove down and we decorated the hall her theme is "rockstar" and then we went to the other floors and saw what they were doing and then made fun of them (very Christian of us!)

sat. night I went to this comedy show where one of the guys from Bones was hosting, went with a friend of mine who directs that show and then got invited to another cast members big party next weekend, so psyched.

learned that my ex-BF from like 2 years ago "has let himself go and has gotten really fat." what 27 year old guy can get fat? huh? why is it good to hear these things.

big week this week pitching to 3 networks, have my MTV bible due and need to finsih my movie pitch. Waiting for a call from a friend of the girl who the MTV show is about to tell me all about her and what she's REALLY like, swear!

so i'm a little hungover from my date which is surprising as i only had 3 beers and yesterday i drank 1 gallon of water! huh, weird.

anyway, we went to 3rd stop, sat out side, he was late (he said he had to help a girl in his building who ran out of gas in the parking lot) not sure i believe the "i am late becaue i helped a damsel in distress" story cause this is LA and people like to tell stories. i also say this because he called me at 8:23 to say he was going to be 10 mins late, IF he in fact did come across a girl who had no gas in her car at 8:23 i imagine he woudl assume he's going ot be more than 20 mins late, THEN if he came across her at 810pm he would've called then and said hey i'm going to be 10 mins late. sooo you see, i've dealt with late people before, i used to be a late person and it's annoying for those who aren't late (now I realize I have been late just as recently as tues night meeting Remi (10 mins late) but the hollywood bowl had a show how was i to know...

anyway, i know i'm being too picky and i got an email from him saying he had a good time so i'll prob. go out with him again! hopefully in the meantime (since I have network pitches next week and can't go out seeing as 3 beers ruins me) i hope disappearing act guy calls.

SHOUT OUT TO REMI AND CARRIE FOR GIVING ME SUPER CUTE FLIP FLOPS THAT I WORE ON THE DATE LAST NIGHT....

just got back from my date... i think it went well, i think he liked me, i mean i'm not sure i liked him, he's v. v. v. v. nice, but i'm not sure if I liked him enough. Grrr, i wish it was easier.

oh and he drove me home and in the car shook my hand as i got out but i think he was about to maybe pull me in closer for a kiss (this is PURE SPECULATION) but i hit the eject button and it's weird... i dont htink i wanted to kiss him. GRRRRR i hate dating!!!

here's how this is going to end

I just read this on CNN. it's a story about a giuy who killed his wife cause her medical expenses were so high.this is how i will die eventually

why do i feel like this is going to happen to me! I was online at bank of america and over the next 8 months (i have set up my own payment plan to all my doctors) approx: $2500 is going out of the account to pay for all my medical probs. this year. OY!

cedars keeps calling saying "um, you only sent a check for $70..." I guess they want me to put the entire balance on my credit cards, but they can suck it cause they're lucking they're getting $70 a month in the first place! but they're like "i'm trying to help you and i dont understand what you mean by a payment plan" and I'm like "it's whats more conventinet for me!" and then i hang up.

anwyway, i'm supposed to have a date tonight with this guy... we'll call him teddie. it's a sort of set up and i've actully met him before so we'll see. I haven't heard from him today so who knows.

i'm going to email the disappearing act guy back today. let's see what happens...

could you run 7KM dressed as a gorilla?

well, i will be finding out if i can on september 22 in london!! i just bought a ticket, i said fuck it, i need a vacay, and if people need to meet with me the 6 business days i'm gone, they can suck it and i'll just say i'm gong to london on business. Which won't be a lie as i'm going to set up meetings over there with productoin companies b/c they love american tv writers there! woo hoo! so i'm psyched!!!!!! because this time next year maybe i'll be moving there to write tv shows for hte BBC!! YOU NEVER KNOW!! the great gorilla run

anyway, i'm doing this run to raise money for gorillas (please donate 20 bucks when I ask) and 1000 people do it and are dressed in gorilla costumes you get for the price of admission! I'M SO PSYCHED!! it's going to be a great way to meet people b/c afterwards they have a big drink up and i'm going to meet and kiss many english lads who will be enamored by me and my sense of adventure!!!

OMG

HEY FINALLY FUCKING EMAILED AFTER 2 WEEKS!!! HOLY CRAP AND NOW HE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH ME!!! HUH? WHAT?

parental trip

went to catalina on friday morn with my parents. I do not like beach destinations, mostly because I live in LA and it's sunny and 75 ALL YEAR so going to the beach is like being here... that being said, i agreed to go to this island as my parents really wanted to. at the beach, i sat dumbfounded trying to understand this culture of people who like to just sit and sit and sit in the sun. I am irish for one and cannot tolerate the sun even with SPF 45 being applied every hour. I also find it soo freakin' boring. i just cant sit and do nothing. I literally watched these peopel who seemed like they were having fun, sure they were drinking and i wasn't but still what is fun about the bbeach? it's a complete and total mystery to me COMPLETE AND TOTAL MYSTERY AMIGOS!!

my mom and i rented a tandem kayak and kayaked for about an hour on saturday around the boats and into the different coves, that was fun. whenever my friend amy and i go to a destination, we always end up kayaking and then we realize we hate kayaking, this happens every time we go away. we forget how much we hate kayaking each and every time. but i had to do something other than just sit on the beach again. it was fun looking at the boat names.

oh and the entire trip my parents wer elike He's cute, talk to him, the captain of the boat is cute (not cute BTW and like 20), my dad picked out this really tan guy wearing a sleeveless shirt on the beach, i told him he was too tan, my dad said i'm too picky, i said "him being so tan indicates to me that he likes to go to the beach, A LOT! and i do not AT ALL so we dont have common interests. If I saw a guy on a motorcycle i'd think the same thing about him, he engages in high risk behavior that I do no like."

i also asked my parents if they thought I should become a nun. I am clearly trying to figure out what i'm doing with my life, like everyoen i know, but i finally had some clarity that I should become a nun to which my mother said " you woudln't make a very good nun!!!!!" i was like clarify "you would be great at anything you'd do, but you'd be bored as a nun and also they tel you what to do and when to do it and you dont like that" my dad told me they'd make me clean toilets... that was enough to get me off that dream....

fran and jack came yesterday (those are my parents, i never call them such except behind their back) I picked up sammies from Joan's on 3rd and some veggies and we enjoyed a nice lunch and then went on a hike to runyon canyon. It was SLOOOOW GOING! i am usually done with the hike in like 30 mins and this took us a little over an hour.

it's weird to realize your parents are old.

anyway, then we had dinner at a vietnemese restaurant in my neighborhood and took a walk around robertson, that was fun and then headed back to my place where they both fell asleep on my couch. they're staying in my room so i kicked them off the couch so i coudl go to sleep at 11PM, i never go to sleep that early.

got up eeearrrrllly this a.m. and my mom and i went to the grocery to get cows milk (i only have soy) and some cereal more to their liking (who doesn't like honey nut cheerios?) and then hit up the coffee bean for some scones and coffee and headed back to eat b'fast (i hate people who stay with me who like to eat all the time, jeez! what's wrong with a little thing of yogurt for dinner?)

and now i'm working at the guild and heading with them to catalina tomorrow. my dad booked a 830am boat, which means because they'll want to eat b'fast before we leave, we'll have to get up around 6am (oh did i mention they're neurotic about leaving for things HOURS before you need to?!?!?!)

donations

I have brought over the past 5 months, approximately 9 bags of stuff to be donated to good will. If you have come to my apartment, you can't help but notice it's empty. When the door was found open the other day the girl said she couldn't tell if I had anything stolen because i didn't have anything to begin with.

i decided when I dropped off another load this morning (of stuff i didn't want when I unpacked but couldn't take to the drop off place until i was allowed to pick up stuff) and on my way i thought I hope whatever thing that has been giving me bad luck was in that bag that I just got rid of. I think I might just get rid of everythign I own and start anew and then whatever thing I have that's causing me all this stress and bad luck will be gone.... unless a spell has been put on me then... well then i'm not sure what i'm going to do. That would make me sad as i always fancied myself a friend of those in the witch and wizard world... I MEAN I LOVE HARRY POTTER!!

My parents are on their way to visit me. It's only their 2nd time in 11 years, i think the talk of me not believing in God back in May had something to do with it. Don't worry, my children, I am back on the God train. ALL ABOARD!!


The security guard just talked to me again this morning, and this is the line he opened up with "So, the news is crazy."

uh, ok. and he went on to explain what he meant. something about TV news. GRRRR

HAPPY 1 MONTH ANNIVERSARY

TO MY APPENDIX FREE BODY.

dont worry i wont be celebrating it every month, i just realized today was the 7th and decided to mention it.

anyway, i think i have become more ornery since my appendix was removed, i wonder if my appendix made me nice and now without it, i'm an angry bitch.

it's weird that people at the Writers guild all know my name and i know nobodys name. Like one woman today saw me pick up variety and then called my name and was like I ripped something out of there. And I was like " you know my name? how is that possible? I have never ever heard ur name before." naturally i didn't say anything like that

but the security guards all know my name and all the other people here know my name and the reason I know a few peoples names is because i sign in and see who is there and if tere are only like 3 people through deductive reasoning I figure out their names but other than that, no idea who they are... see i'm a bitch. i guess my appendix was the nicest part of me after all.

and another thing

so i was at my friends house tonight just aksing his advice and lamenting about my current job sitch and bad day and he said "at least your not so and so, she has it really bad!"

why do people do that? when i was growing up, i was sick a lot and i'd be like "i have a sore throat" and my mom would always say "so do I." and then another time I'd be like "i have the flu" and she'd be like "so do I" WHAT? NO U DONT!!??

why do people have to always tell u they've or soemone they know has it worse. why aren't we allowed to be disatisfied with our lives. or frustrated or exhausted? who wants to hear about someone elses problems when they're having a crap day?

yes, i've been to Africa, i've been to guatamala I've seen poverty and struggle and yes I realize i have it preeeetttty nice compared to them, but still can't i please be annoyed at my life when shit happens? fuck!

TOP 5 BAD LUCK I HAD TODAY

1. my gym membership that I had been getting for free for the past year was discovered and now i'm not getting it for free. so now i have to join another gym. the gymi want to join that is super cheap and good and i have a few friends who go there is on beverly, but there are other people who go there who i dont want to see... what to do, i mean the price is right... well it's not free but it's pretty close.

2. my friend was right about my blind script deal, it's a total fucking bullshit hoax, thanks to my agents who didn't inform me of that. so i guess i just need to sell this pilot.

3. my MTV deal is a fucking joke and my agents dont think i should take it.

4. someone came into my apartment today and then proceeded to leave the door wide open ALL DAY! yeah, my neighbor was like "your door was open all day." I have no idea who came in seeing as no one was authorized to do so. and nothing was taken sooooo it's weird. but still the door was open all day. this happened to my neighbor yesterday so when she saw my door open today she called the cops and they hung out tonight in my apartment. I live 1 block from bev hills in a safe neighborhood so it's weird.

5. i got invited to a party for my very good friends new baby and he writes on a show with my old writing partner and she is getting invited to the party too and i think it's going to be awkward to see her for the first time in 5 years at this party.

pfffttt. i need to go to bed before anything else happens today.

annoyed

well i am annoyed today and for so many reasons:

1. the boy never called, so i'm utterly confused about why he called and asked me out only to unask me out and then neve3r contact me again. why call me in the first place?

2. I'm annoyed at peopple who say things like "you still get tired from your surgery?" yeah, IT'S CALLED A RECOVERY FOR A REASON. like i'm making it up that i get wiped out easily... i sent an email to my friend a week and a half ago (only 2.5 weeks after the surgery) saying i might not be able to go to her cabin for the weekend cause i was so tired and she coudn't believe that after 2.5 weeks i'd still be tired... um, okay, i had a fucking pussy infected appendix in my body you dumb ass. thankfully she's pregnant so 2.5 weeks after her giving birth i'm going to say "huh, i ddin't think you'd still be so tired from giving birth." i'm a bitch. and then someone else said "well it's not like it was a major surgery.." yeah, it wasn't open heart surgery agreeed, but I guess every surgery is minor surgery EXCEPT WHEN IT HAPPENS TO YOU. it's not like i had a fucking mole removed.

3. i got a deal with a studio back in march and haven't gotten paid yet. this wouldn't be a big deal except this weekend my friend said "oh my agent said that if you dont' sell a pilot they dont have to pay you under your deal." so now im freaking out cause i'm fucked if i dont get paid.

4. i'm annoyed at having to be annoyed at all these people.

where is the love?

no idea what i said to this boy to make him break out date and never call me again. literally our conversation lasted maaaaaaayyybbbeee 15 mins and apparentlly i said something that he must have thought about over the next 2 hours that cuased him to call and cancel the date, claiming illness (do not use that when you're not sick, being a constanly infirmed person I am offended) and then saying he'd call the next day to reschedule and never calling. why even pretend, why do the whole song and dance of "hey when are you avail this week?, WHY EVEN CALL ME IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE?! next time dont tell your friend that sure you'll go out with me!!

what the fuck is wrong with men???!! why do they do all this? someone please answer me that

BOY UPDATE: I JUST CHECKED HIS MYSPACE PAGE (OH YEAH I DID) AND HE SIGNED IN TODAY WHICH MEANS HE'S NOT DEAD, WHICH IF HE WERE I'D FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT ME GOING OFF ON HIS INSENSITIVE BEHAVIOR, BUT NOW IT'S JUSTIFIED AND I WISH I COULD DO MORE.

I just filled out an application for the "low income discount rate" for my electricity bill in LA. yes, i totally qualify seeing as I've made very very little money this year which is strange considering I signed a contract with a major studio in march and have yet to see a dime. I told my agent last week that he needed to get me paid a certain amount so i can earn enought to be elligible for health insurance in 2008. he said he was on it. Really it's not asking to much to get 1/3 of my contracted earnings in a 6 month period is it??

I next plan to file for food stamps, unfortuantely, they dont work at jenny craig which i'm starting up again on wednesday. sure i lost a ton of weight after my surgery but now i want to keep it off!!

so the boy who i wanted to ask me out called today and asked me out. and we talked for a litle while as i was driving to a hike (not really supposed to be working out yet, buuuuut this was walking and my surgeon said i could walk and he didn't say i couldn't walk uphill) anyway, he called and asked me out for tonight and i said yes and then he said he'd come get me and we'd go to a restaurant near me, and he does in fact live downtown (see previous post) soooo that's a big commitment to come up here. so i went on my hike and was excited and nervous and didn't really think about what i shoudl wear since i can only wear skirts still. so my options are limited.

so, on my drive back from hiking he called and bailed! FUCK!

he said he got sick suddenly. uh, yeah, sure. He was all nervous I didn't believe him and he said he called his best girl friend and left a message on her VM asking if she'd believe a guy if he called and un asked her out 2 hours after asking her out. I was like it's ok, and he asked me what he thought of his message bailing, and i didn't know waht else to say other than "i was like I hope he feels better" i mean if he is sick, i'm a bitch for being like Never call me again and then if he isn't then yes, i look gullible.

he said he'd resched. for monday or tues. i said "sure." we shall see if he calls.

so instead i went to the movies with bernadette to this piece ofshit stupid ass movie called sunshine. DO NOT SEE IT, IT'S STUPID AND MAKES NO SENSE.

SO I'm supposed to be allegedly going out with a cute boy. we emailed like 2 emails last week (i met him on a show meeting a few months ago) did i already talk about him?

anyway, i just found him on myspace and hes put a lot of work into his myspace. oh and he's 29. i'm 33. maybe he found me on myspace and didn't like what he saw... and htat's why i haven't heard from him in a few days, he dropped off the planet.

anyway, i do judge a little from your myspace. anyone in your late 20 early 30s myspacing like mad seems to me to be a little.... mad. in the head that is. is that judgemental of me? why do we myspae in the first place, JUST SEND ME A FUCKING EMAIL.

instead you send me a message on mysapce, then myspace sends me an email saying hey you got a message on myspace, so then i have3 to go sign into myspace (after having already signing into my email) then get your message. seems like there's an extra step in there.

back to the original story. so he's all myspaced out with videos and pics of his dogs who he loves (i hate dogs since Jen malone's bit me in the face 7 years ago) and i think he might live downtown. for anyone who does not live in LA, downtown is not like NYC. it's gross and dirty and we have more homeless people who are mentally ill and on drugs (also see sicko) than any other city: i don't go down town.

my friends in la have said in the past "i dont get it, you'll go to fucking africa and travel all over the world but you are scared of downtown LA." the answer is simple: yes!

i will update you on whether or not he has the balls to email me since i sent him a funny email and clearly intimidated him 5 days ago.

what ho!

today was good, intense, hard, scary, fun., full of self doubt, tiring... how all in one day, welcome to hollywood. this morning i woke up early after having gone to bed late b/c i was practicing my pitch and writing and then nervous so not sleeping well. i semi pitched a movie based on a book to a movie producer at the 4 seasons... hello it's walking distnace from my new love pad, 2 blocks, 3 min. walk... felt v. new york.

ok so i went and din't really know what i was doing seeing as I had never pitched a movie before. I mean i can pitch a tv show or at least know how its supposed to be pitched comfortably, but this... an entirely diff. being. so i showed up with all the questoins she had asked me (i had the answers) and i knew i did ok, but i left and she had another meeting there (again, welcome to hollywood, i naeively thought i'd be the only one pitching... HA!) i ran into another snarky tv comedy writer on my way out, her way in and she said she had a meeting.. hmmmm. anyway movie producer called me this afternoon and was like "oh we ended the meeting and i forgot to tell you the next step" which i guess means I got it... now dont think that i got anything, i just made it to stage 2, the 2nd week of the audition as in every reality show.

so now i have to work my ass off and come up with a pitch... you do all this work weeks and weeks and may not have anything to show for it (read: MONEY) but you still need to do it. suck. cause i could use this time to write something else, but you have to take the chance and you know what, i think i can do this, i mean i have no idea really how to structure a movie, but i have friends who do.

so i walked home from the 4 seasons and sat on my couch and then went to target and bought the following: a microwave, a lamp, a lampshade (v. grown up looking), cleaning supplies, a mop that i just used and realized is broken.. grrr, sponges, a garbage can for my kitchen, bucket, etc. i spent $200 so the massage that i was thinking of getting was out of the question.

oh i finsihed harry potter last night... SO FUCKING GOOD!!

apartment living

what's fun about living in an apartment surrounded by more apartment buildings: hearing people have sex. that's what i'm doing right now. I wish I could figure out where it's coming from, i suspect it's the same people who were at it 2 nights ago around this same time. i'mnot sure if it's my building but it certainly sounds like it. it's not the people upstairs as i can hear them walk around as i type... am i thinking way too much about this?! i fear that to be the case.

oh wait, i think i can confirm it's coming from upstairs. geez, now what happens when i meet these people.

oh and i have 3 dates that i know of coming up! unfortunatly i can't do one a day 4 days in a row b/c i get so wiped out easily from this stupid surgery. grrrr. oh and i realized that i have yet to get the bill from my surgeon and anathesiologist, which will run about anohter 11 grand. sweet!

freaking out

so i am freaking out cause i'm convinced everyone at the agency that represents me hates me (the fight i had yesterday) b/c i've emailed 2 of the agents today re: business questions and neither one has responded...

i wonder when they started not to like me anymore.. strange seeing as I have 2 deals and i'm making money for them (allegedly if i were to get paid)... imagine how much they treat people who dont make money for them

phases

every couple of months i g o thorugh a phase where everyone pisses me off and there's a ton of miscommunicatoin and every one is mad at me. Right now I'm mad at 2 people who shall remain namelss, they dont troll the board but they are mid profile people in this town...

one is a person giving me notes on one of my projects. We will call this person Terry. I am tery's dream writer, i never ask questoins, i always hit it out of the park, but yesterday I asked terry one questoin about a note and terry fucking gave me so much fucking attitude I felt like I was a mom dealing with an eye rolling, gum snapping 12 year old girl who i just told couldn't go out with a boy to the movies. THAT MUCH ATTITUDE.

then i just told off someone... can't really elaborate but i have had a b'fast schedule d with someone and it's been resched no less than 5 times and one time I had to do it CAUSE I JUST HAD SURGERY!! so i went off on this person's asst. and might have derailed my career in the process... oops, but it is deserved. i swear.

fox TCA

last night i went to the FOX televisioin critics party. It was awesome. it was at the santa monica pier and my friend and I went on the rollercoaster and played games. I saw the entire cast of house, most of the cast from bones, the cast of the brad garrett sitcom. Keifer sutehrland was mobbed and pinned in the corner by a bunch of tv critics. the event is bascially for FOX to kiss the asses of the tv critics so they'll favorably review their shows. all the networks do it, but i just wanted to go to the fox one to see my tv boyfriend.

i ate carnival food (cotton candy, etc) and won a basketball!! my friend beat me at this other game and won a krusty the clown stuffed animal. but i'm glad i won the b-bal cause i sorta needed one. I wore a v. cute dress and heels (wedge heels)

STAR SIGHTINGS

yesterday at the coffee bean in bev hills, I saw renee zwellegger. She is super super skinny, like ridiculous. and she talks like a baby. HELLO YOU'RE A GROWN WOMAN. what also annoyed me was how the employees there were like "do you want a carrier for your drinks" do you need this do you need that? anything esle, anything to eat? SERVICE I DO NOT GET FYI!!

then this morning at the coffee bean near my house I saw Kristin Chenoweth from the west wing and from Wicked, cause i loved her in wicked. Anyway, she too is skin and bones!! And she's so tiny that I looked like a monster standing next to her.

WHO WANTS TO GUESS HOW MUCH AN APPENDECTOMY COSTS!!!!

ACCORDING TO MY CEDARS SINAI ONLINE STATEMENT (I WAS ON FOR MY COLONOSCOPY BILL) AND THEY HAVE MY SURGERY LISTED

SO FAR THE TOTAL IS.... $70,000 FOR MY 2 NIGHT/3 DAY HOSPTIAL STAY AND SURGERY

oh and to make it more interesting I gave my insurance card in the ER, i gave my insurance card to the hospital (after being admitted) and guess what, the cedars billing dept. say I'm a self paying person with no insurance. ahh. so the adventure begins with insrance. glad i had my insurance card on me, lot of good it did me!

so like i said when i was in the hospital pieces of my lung collapsed. I just read an article in a very sophisticated magazine People, about a girl who invented a device that helps kids in hosptials after surgeries strenghthen their lung by shooting marhsmallows. Now that I know how scary it can be to lose lung capacity (and i will know more when I'm allowed to run again in a few weeks) I wanted to post the site if anyone wanted to make a donation.

www.kelseyskids.org

sounds like a great organization.

my meeting went very well yesterday, i think i got the job, now i'm nervous that i can't do the job! we shall see...

the person in question was very well put together, very nice, pitched a few things. all in all it was fun.

last night i went to a party for the season 2 premiere of who wants to be a superhero. due to my health i could ony stay for like an hour, but enough time to say hello to the people who invited me and introduce my friend who is a huge comic book guy to the all time comic book guy in the history of comic books who I know because of this project.

wow, i only live like 1.5 miles from the wrtiers guild, my commute was 6 minutes! That is going to save me $$ on gas which is good since my rent more than doubled i need that savings somewhere. I guess I could just stay at hoome and work from my office, but that will get lonely if i did that every day. at least at the writers guild lounge i occasionaly run into friends. i'm not getting my tv hooked up until the tv season starts up again in the fall, so last night i actually worked in my office!! love having an office!

so i'm off the antibiotics they gave me for my surgery and they dont really allow you to sleep, so i haven't been getting a ton of sleep as a result, but last night my first day off I went to bed at 1030pm and slept until 830am. guess i needed it because i started working again and i've got a lot going on. eek

nothing else to report except I've lost like 7 pounds since my surgery and put on a shirt this morning that had been in storage the entire time and it's falling off me! sexy time!

i like to go to the best but didn't.

Just read on the aOL homepage that cedars sinai the hospital where i got my surgery last week is 17th in the country with UCLA as #3. Oops, guess I should've gone there. Although i had such a sweet set up at cedars and everyone (except one nurse) was amazing.

oh and before i forget, tomorrow I'm meeting with a certain someone to talk about a project. dont' want to type anything that could be found on google, so let's just say before I was born my parents lived in Paris...










here are pics of my new apt. sorry about the not having furniture. it;s getting there. love the hardwood floors.

ok so i dont know what order thess are in, so i'll just write about my tv being swallowed by the wall, dont worry the big hutch i have by the dining room table is going to move where the tv stand is now so it wont get so swallowed. i'm going to get an area rug for the living room and move the pottery barn rug there now under the dining room table (thanks for carrie frymer for coming up with that ingenius plan)






my beds not made but i can't make it right now since i'm infirmed. or at least that's what i like to think. the built in bookshelves are my fave, sorry it's turned to the side, i'm too lazy to fix it. i have a patio (not accessible directly from the apt, but you just exit my door and it's right there) so it would be perfect as a smoking patio, if i still smoked (i never realllly smoked to begin with, but gave it up for new years and glad i did as it slows your recovery from surgery!)

i love my new pad

my new pad rules. it really really does! I love it so much i miss it right now. i'm at the writers guild thinking about why im' not working in the office at my new apt. it's huge, i'll take pics, but so far 4 of my friends have given it their seal of approval.

carrie and danielle came over yester. afternoon to help me unpack since I can't really lift anything significant. so a lot of stuff is already put away. and remi and carrie came over and brought wine and gifts for me!!! and we ordered yummy pizza and drank and talked about how great my apt. is!!! hehehehe!!

I LOOOOVE IT! I can't believe I didn't move out of bruno's years ago, what was I thinking. I LOVE LIVING ALONE IN MY SUPER AWESOME PAD!!!!

if life hands you lemons... but what if you are a lemon

If you live in cali, you have heard the following commericial on the radio, if not we have a dealership called Toyota of Orange that has this jingle: Chorus: "No you won't get a lemon!" Extremely Enthusiastic guy: "I WOULDN'TA GOT A LEMON? ...

so i've started to reflect on my current situtaion, no not the being unemployed, single and homeless one, my health crisis. and i'm starting to think that my parents should've gotten me at toyota of orange so as not to have gotten a lemon. I am a lemon, not me per se, but my body is a lemon. I'm not going to list all my ailments that have lead me to believe this, but i'll give just this years examples:

I had 3 colon pollyps and had to have them removed by colonoscopy, a diagnosis which tends to befall men in their 50s. my doctor even said it's rare someone my age would have them

then the appendicitis in july. AND THAT'S JUST 2007.

i wont go into 2004 when they thought i had a brain tumor in my pituitary gland becausse I stopped having my period for 9 months and didn't produce a baby.

or in 1999 when I had e. coli and was so sick that i couldn't go out for an entire year because if i went out, i'd get a cold for 2 weeks and then becasue the e coli went on so long i developed asthma. and I'm leaving out the parasite from africa and the gallstone i have living inside me. even my surgeon on saturday night after having reviewed my file and all my medical problems told me I'm a mess. he said that when we go in it's going to be interesting as they're not 100% sure what they'll be taking out as a result of my colitis, polycystic ovarian syndrome and gallstone and probable appendicits.

so yeah, i'm starting to think i must be a lemon.

on the bright side i have great friends and a great sonicare toothbrush.

while i was in surgery

at literaly the exact moment of my surgery, this is what my friends were doing outside of the hosptial as they happened to be wasted at a bar across the street (with drew barrymore whos not in the picture)

please notice they're all grabbing the wrong side of the belly

so much better

today is a good day. yesterday i wokep up and still felt very shitty and ate a lot of percoset. i took a nap and just layed around. apprently that is the exact opposite of what i'm supposed to be doing. i talked to my surgeon and he yelled at me for napping and also wouldn't =change my anti biotic perscription. anyway, so i got out and walked for 45 mins and then walked again later that night for 15 mins. and then today i woke up feeling great! i'm serious. so today i've already walked and met a friend for lunch, i only ate one egg white and a piece of toast (ive totally lost like 4 pounds)

i'm going to walk to kristin's today about 2 miles round trip to get my drivers license which is in my car and i need to get onto warner bro studios tonight as i'm going to see HARRY POTTER!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!

my friend amy is coming too as i need a chauffer as i'm not allowed to drive until friday. also big news, i took myself off percoset today, i'm on acetominphen, basical tylenol.

i have a very busy couple of days coming up as i have to pick up a parking permit for my new neighborhood in order to park there on sunday night and guest passes as christie is gonna be in town and stay next weekend. oh and i need to get the lights turned on! must have that happen too.

ok, i've had the worst couple of days. I'll keep it real brief for now as I'm drugged and eshausted. I had an emergency appendectomy at 11PM saturday night. It was the most pain i have ever had. will fill in details later. then this morning around 5am my temp. shot up crazy high apparently due to a parial lung collapse... SAY WHAT? yeah, pieces of my lung had collapsed which is common after surgery i guess. I wasn't doing enough lung excercises, even though i was (remy and carrie saw me doing them immediatey after I got out of surgery sunday at 1am.) They rocked and hung out until like 3am talking to me which was so amazingly nice since I was still freaked out from having surprise major surgery.

anyway, i was released tonight and i'm staying at my friend greg and amy's who are taking good care of me and even cooked me dinner and put water by my bed! so sweet. okay, i'll fill in all the details tomorrow as I can't really do anythig other than lie in bed and occassionally walk around to avoid another lung collapse. p.s. if you talk to my parents do not mention the lung thing, i happened to leave that out as my mother would have fallen over dead if she heard it!1

last night i saw the nmovie evening. it was boring and not very good. sorry meryll streep.

i stayed over at carrie's cause i'm house sitting and i brought some laundry. she has a kick ass machine. I'm going to be very sad when I dont have private laundry facilities.

the old roomate asked me to come get my mail becauswe "it's accumulating." so i thought, sure, it's been 3 weeks since my last mail pick up and if he's emailing me, there must be a ton of mail! so i drive up there and the door was open and the actor and his fiancee were there with friends playing a game andi didn't say hi cuase they annoy me, but they had tied the mail onto the door, and i coujldn't get it off so they heard me and i ran away. so i think to myself, this bag is light for mail that has been "accumulating," so i get it to carrie's house and open the bag and it contains the following: 1 brochure from my mutual fund and 3 envelopes. THAT'S ACCUMULATING??!?!?

i drove all the way up there for that? he's so annoying! 4 pieces of fucking mail!! the last time it was a huge pile and i emailed him about it, this time he initiates it and tghere's nothing! I HATE HIM!

today was just one of those annoying days. I had to get up early (815am gasp) and head to my storage unit. actually not mine, but my friend jeff's. I had my movers from a couple of weeks ago clear out jeff's unit, drive it to his fam's new house then drove to their old house and picked up really nice furniture for me to move into their storage unit until i move next weekend. Then i got the bad news that my movers couldn't move me next weekend so i had to track down other, MORE EXPENSIVE ones. they coul move me fri (can't move in that early) or monday, but if you've ever driven from the valley into LA on a week day morn, you know it's not a fun trip. So early next sunday at 7am I'm meeting my movers at my now TWO storage units to empty them both out to move into my apt. MY NEW APT!! i also got a couch and coffee table and dining set for the new place too on monday that i ordered!! i'm so fucking psyched!!!

anyway jeff and his wife (my old bossses) gave me some seriously sweet shit, they spare no expense on their stuff so i got an awesome desk (that was in their 4 year olds room but still, it's nice) a handpainted credenza that will match my couch perfectly, a beauru that might actually be used as an entertainment center, 2 really sweet night stands (now i can get rid of the one i had been using, stacey u know the one, i actualy might use it for an end table for the time being) a solid lamp, and a desk chair! and these awesome storage bins that were under the desk. i'll take pics of my new place as soon as i move in sunday week.

but the gross thing about my movers which is why i'm actually glad i'm getting new ones is the guy who runs the business. he kept hugging me last time I hired them and hitting on me, well this morning, he hugged me a lot, SUCKLED ON MY NECK!!!!! SERIOUSLY and grabbed my FUCKING ASS!! then put his arms around me while i was walking in front of him and buried his head into the back of my neck (all this behavior was repeated throughout the entire 3 hours) so even though these other movers will probably be costing me $200 more than the regular ones, at least i wont be getting a little raped!

oh and then i came back to kristin's and completely cleaned her fridge she's giving me for my new place. like it was disgusting and been in her garage for 3 years, I hope it actually still works. so i had to clean it before i move it next week, oh yeah, my movers will have to drive to her place (on the way actually) to pick up the fridge and load that in to!! sunday the 15th is going to SUUUUUUUCK!!

oh and now the teeth that the denstist was trying to get a closer look at vis a vis the dentist debaucle of my last post ARE FUCKING HURTING!!! how is that possible! he was lookig for something b/c he asked that those teeth get a new picture specifically and now the teeth hurt even though he said all clear after seeing it! I HAVEN'T RECIEVED A PAY CHECK IN 19 MONTHS!! I CAN'T HAVE A DENTAL NIGHTMARE!!

i had a fit at the dentist the other day. basically i'm a bitch. if i think someone is not as smart as me, i have no patience with them, who do i think i am? the woman who does the xrays with this new machine that shows them digitally IMMEDIATELY was trying to get this one root and it wasn't working and she kept taking them over and over and over and over, 6 times and finally i said "uh, what is going on? I'm freaking out about the amount of radiation. and i insisted she stop. then she said i get more radiation from the sun and I said I never go in the sun and she siad it's barely any radiation and it's not like i get alot any way and then i said well, every single household electronic emits radiation, so in fact, on top of the amount i got sitting there i'm also getting it from everythign around us all day long every day! she went and tattled on the dentist and then i said I will take one more if she can fucking do it right (did not use fucking) but still, (at this point she had already taken 4 more)

so she readjusted it again and got it, and i left in a total huff, probably glowing radioactively as i exited. i just got annoyed because she just seemed dumb and like i said, i'm a superior bitch.

License to wed premiere party was on monday night and my loyal WB friends hooked me up once again. I know I'm now on the premiere party circuit, but I still get such a kick as my mother woudl say, going to these things. they never get old to me, how is that possible? I got so jaded working on a tv show, oh it's friday we're taping again, snore. but going to premiere parties, woohooo bring it on!

had the best time at this one. the movie was not so hot, but the party was hilarious. I told one guy i didn't eat pork because i was kosher and he goes "ew," and steps away from me like I said i was contagious. clearly he didn't know what kosher meant.

i danced from one of the party to another because kristin bet me i wouldn't so i made a whopping ten bucks, although i had so much fun doing it, that i told her she didn't have to pay me, but she was true to her word.

at the party they had a couple of actors dressed up as bride and groom roaming the party and kristin and i had a drink with them, so freaking hollywood it was hilarious. I tried to hit on carrie's co-worker but got rejected so harsh!

sorry i haven't written in a week. so much to catch up on! well last wed. i went out on another bad date, not like the date was bad, more like the guy was not cute at all, i know i'm such a bitch, and he talked at me for 2 hours straight and it seemed like he wanted to hang out all night, i'm like no, i do 90 min first dates, point blank period.

then i had another first date sunday night and this guy was SOOO NOT CUTE ugh! both of these guys have emailed me already and asked me out again and i feel bad aas i dont wnat to hurt thier feelings, i've had my feelings hurt and it sucks balls. i also feel like such a bitch like "oh look at me every guy is so ugly and they want me so bad." if you know me you know that's not what i'm thinking.

had a 2nd date last night with... bike. that's obviosuly not his real name, clearly i changed one letter. anyway, it was at a cute restuarant in marina del rey, kind of a drive for me, but it looked nice online so i agreed. It was good. the date was nice, conversatoin flowed more naturally than the 1st date, he's cute, but a little rough around the edges in terms of not being as sweet as i like 'em. I usually like/date sweet guys and bike seems to carry himself in a defensive way, not like argumentative or anything like that, but just the things he sasy. also he was 10 mins late which wouldn't have been a big deal had he not be 30 mins late for our 1st date and then told me last night a stoyr about a fight he got into with his brother this weekend because he was really late and his brother said "you're always late' and he got all bent out of shape and woudon't apologize for it.

hmmm. this is a deal breaker as I am not a person who indulges said behavior.

okay so tonight i'm supposed to have a 2nd date with this guy who i crank called. he might have to work, but if not we're getting together. i'm not sure how psyched I am about this, see first dates are totally easy as i have no expectations and could care less either way. But now 2nd dates are where things start to get complicated. upon further review this guy didn't really talk much well, that's not true more aCcurately he would answer questions very briefly and then we'd have long moments of me in my head going... okay this is awkward.

i talked to him on the phone last night and these moments took place again, taht's what jogged my memory of our first date.

Grrrr, dating sucks. anyway, i'm going into it with an open mind as i've given 2nd dates to guys who have deserved it much less. hey you never know.

tomorrow night i have another first date with a guy named... i'll have to look it up, anyway, we met on ehar. and have since moved to our own email accounts and i have no idea what he looks like as my acct. at ehar is turned off and now can't access pictures. this should be interesting...

i'm dogsitting for my friend carrie this weekend which means I have to get up early to feed the dog and take it for a walk. Not a fan of these responsibilities!

Just went to jenny craig and i'm disappointed because I only lost one fucking pound. one pound! I guess i should've expected that b/c i did eat more than i've eaten ever this week. but it's weird my clothes fit so oooo much better so i was suprised that i only lost one pound but can we please talk about something. every time i dont have a big loss, people at weight watchers or now jenny craig is "you probalby put on muscle." I'M NOT PUTTING ON ANY FUCKING MUSCLE! I'VE BEEN working out every day for 8 years, and you dont all of a suddenly start adding muscle. it's not muscle, i did not gain muscle, the lady at the craig today is ike "wow you work out every day you probalby put on muscle," lady, look at my biceps, look at my triceps does it look like i have a ton of muscle here, no!" seriously, stop saying it!

last night went to domiicks and had a great time, met this cute guy who I forced to take my number... i swear he didn't even ask for it, i just told him he had to take it b/c we were tgoing to be friends b/c he and i are moving 2 blocks from each other next month. He told me hes going to have a party after he moves in, which i hope he said that b/c he inteneded to invite me. I also mentioned I had a date today, maybe to make him see how desireable I am.

speaking of desireable, yesterday I was in traffic, scrolling through my weeks missed calls. I saw my friend liz's number so i hit talk and a guy picked up. I hung up thinking, that's weird, and then i realized... the guy who i went out with on thurs. night has the same first 3 digits as liz and i had just called him, heard his voice, waited for a second and then hung up. Yeah, i totally pranked the cute guy and now i'm sure he thinks i'm fucking psycho and will never call me again. so heres the thing do i send him an email now explaining what happened or do i say my phone calle dyou accidently or do nothing? it doesn't matter really, he totally thinks i'm koo-koo.

anyway, excited for my date at the skirball center today!

wednesday night i went out with this guy who looked like herman munster, a less cute version of herman. he was super nervous, wouldn't look me in the eye and was not a very good converstaionlist. i like to give guys a 2nd chance but not so much this one. at the end of the date, he walked me to my car and said "so do you want me to call you?!" ahhhhh no! i said yes.

last night i had another first date (same place, diff guy) and it went much better, save for the fact that i was so hyper from my insane bootcamp class yester eve. i def. made him think i was a total spaz! i woudl def. go out with him again if he asked cause he was cute and easy to talk to.

I have another first date on sunday afternoon at the skirball center, going to see some play that he is producing for NPR. meeting him early before hand.

also jenny craig update, i' totally losing weight!!!!!!

I WON!!

friday i was feeling very blue and while driving by a 7-11 i decided to stop in to get a lottery ticket, the day wasn't going well, so i thougth what a perfect time to buy a ticket.

and i did, in fact i bought 3, 1 quick pick and 2 i did on my own, Well, i'm proud to announce that i'm california's newest lottery winner. My winnings totally - ONE DOLLAR!

dont worry, it hasn't changed me.

grey hairs

so i've noticed in the past mmonths that i have more and more grey hairs, I think the stress of the past year has manifested itself on ruining my beautiful mahogany hair, like it's getting bad, just now i was in the bathroom and i have 3 grey hairs sprouting right in the front of my head, for all to see. the other hairs are in the back or on the side. so i googled going grey and this is what anderson cooper, my 2nd gay boyfriend (stephen fry the english comedian being my first gay boyfriend and he's actually come out as gay unlike anderson) said about going gray early.

"Going gray is like ejaculation. You know it can happen prematurely, but when it actually does, it's a total shock."

love him.

although also in his article on grey hair is this:

"Did you know that according to legend, the guy who became Buddha decided to seek enlightenment the day he got a touch of gray? "Gray hairs," the would-be Buddha said, "are like angels sent by the god of death."

Translation: Gray is nature's way of whispering "You're dying."

goodness my life is dull. I have nothing to report today. yesterday i did the usual, ate jenny craig, went to the gym, walked around the grove and the barnes and noble last night and went to bed. Oh i also "winked" at a lot of guys on the onion dating website. no winks back just yet.

today I'll do much of the same. I have to write a little treatment for a show i'm being pitched by MTV for a certain incarcerated celebrity... i have a conference call tomorrow morning about it. allegedly, as they keep changing it, which is annoying.

so on day one of jenny craig i realized that you have to eat a lot of food. I hate eating food. i hate food! so at the end of the day i had to eat 3 servings of fruit that i didn't want to eat. I guess i dont eat enough maybe that's why i dont lose weight. I swear if i eat all this fucking food they're forcing down my throat and gain weight, i will go ballistic!!!!

watched teh sopranos finale last night with remi and carrie, i liked it even if people didn't. I just didn't get the whole meadow parking her car scenes.

I think i have 2 dates this week from guys on the internet. One from a guy who was cute in his original picture but then changed pictures mid-conversation, and now he's not so cute, but i'll get coffee with him. have to get coffee since i cant eat anything other than jenny craig right now and am not supposed to be drinking.

so tentatively i have dates: wed, thurs, sun. so i guess that's 3 dates this week. woo hoo!

so i'm loving living with Krsitin, so much fun, love love. this weekend was her bday weekend and we went out to dinner last night, although I just came for drinks cause my pickiness was not conducive to the fixed menu. it was a great place, social hollywood, whihc used to be hollywood athletic club, great space. it was where the tv guide emmy party was last year too , shout out to suzy!! awww yeah!

today i joined jenny craig!!! i have given up on weight watchers as i think my portions are out of control even htough i eat healthier than anyone i've ever met. so they give me the food and portions and so far so good.

friday night i went over to grey and amys and had pizza and drank wine and then headed to 3rd stop with a big gang, but was tired and left around midnight.

i'm so excited for jenny craig, i really hope i lose like 15 pounds on this. I've recently met a ton of gals who have been really successful on it Today is day 1 and so far so good, granted the turkey burger ws delish but the size of a beer coaster, but still, i need to shake it up.

the paris hilton ordeal woke me up on friday early. I live in west hollywood right now and the about 5 blocks south of where she is on kings road, i'm one block from kings road and the choppers were in full effect, a ton of them just hovering around her house starting at like 6am, what a blasted nuisances! ah, what a glam life i lead being woken up by choppers as such

have you heard of the james morrison song?

it's called "wonderful world."

the lyrics go like this:

I know it's a wonderful world but I can't see it right now

this describes my state at this moment.

OCEANS 13 PREMIERE

last night ruled! well, yesterday was a rollercoaster day, not gonna lie. got up and had b'fast with kristin at kings road, then headed to the guild and wrote, then had lucnh with all my girlfriends, 3 have had babies in the past 2 months, one is a writer on scrubs, Kristin has a huge deal at fox, and erika's husband wrote wild hogs and they're sending her and her hubby on a 3 week tour of europe to do research for the sequel... suffice it to say, i pale in comparison to these v. successful ladies. the ladies witht the babies all have super $ hubbies, so i'm there no job, no place to live, no boyfriend, no baby, no new car, no fancy house NOTHING! I HAVE NOTHING!!

and i decide to go on suicide watch for myself. until... i go to see a screening of oceans 13, i love those movies, so much pretty to look at, and i love heist movies, i really do! then i got invited to the oceans 13 premiere party where I saw all the stars!!! OMG george clooney is ridiculous hot! he walked out with me (no we didn't go home together) and I was dying!!! i stopped and watched as he signed autographs and was in awe.

sarah silverman was tehre, i saw her show, i think it sucks, and jimmy kimmell, and i saw lloyd from entourage, and matt damon and the little guy who plays lewis and super dave osbourne and GEORGE FUCKING CLOONEY!!!!

woo hoo, drank free booze, ate fried bananas!!! woo hooo, love bananaS!!!

so excited cause tonight i'm going to see a screening of oceans 13. I didn't love oceans 12 b/c it was like brad pitt and george clooney self flaggelation fest on the screen, but there is so much pretty in this movie i hope i enjoy it.

so relieved i moved out of brunos, wish i did it months ago, what was i thinking? love living with kristin and her guest bed is so comf!

now i still need a job and am worried about my sanity taking a nose dive like it did last year. i still have no idea what i am doing with my life, but i ask you this, do any of us have that answer?

I DID IT

i'm all grown up!! i did it! i moved out of the actors house and found my own apt. No more actor and his crazy fiancee who was going around the house when my movers were there yesterday pointing out stuff i "forgot." I'm like I didn't forget it, ass, im moving out RIGHT NOW it's just not in the movers truck right now. SHE'S FUCKING CRAZY. so when i said "please dont' go around pointing stuff out until I'm actually done, she said "well i wanted to put something in there." she wanted to put something in the closet i hadn't even moved out yet, she got out of bed, heard the movers come in and decided to put something in my closet before I was done. Karina G. is fucking crazy!!

so i moved out and into storage and then when i came back to the house to pick up my luggage they had already moved furniture into my room!!!! and moved my bags around! I had been gone for an hour!!! so glad i'm done.

on top of that the actor wanted to charge me 3 days rent pro-rated for the 2 days I was tehre in june, i was like good luck prying that cash from my hands.

now i'm staying at kristin's until mid july!!

i need to find meaning in my life... it's quite bleak

no no, im not depressed again, it's just that I have no place to live, no job and no boyfriend/kids etc. It's really... horrid. But I guess they say, it's darkest before dawn.

And it's not that I just don't have a place to live, i'm trying desperately to move out, I've called 8 fucking places and only one of those places has called back?! huh? what's the point of listing your place if you're not wanting a tenant?

hopefully dawn is right around the corner! it really really needs to be. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying i have it the worst in the world, I'm not in darfur or new jersey (i hate NJ) but I think right now on may 30th 2007, I do have it pretty bad compared to what Ive had in the past. Contrary to what I'm lamenting about, I am not that bummed about my current situation, which is strange, you'd think I would be...

the actor's girlfriend is crazy and so annoying and rather stupid.

friday night i had a few people over like 8 to play cards, drink beer and watch TV at my hosue while the actor and his gf were out of town. It was mostlty my girlfriends liz and berna and rachel, kate, etc. so we hang out, play cards, drink and then go home early cause they came over at like 630 in the evening.

so the roomates come home last night, i'm at a movie, i get in around 11:45pm and the gF is sitting there like my parents and the first thing out of her mouth was "did you have a party," I said no, i had a few girlfriends over to play cards, then "who went into my room," i said i put the cats in the room and locked the door cause some of my friends smoke and i didn'tw ant the cat escpating. So she keeps saying "will you just tell me who was in our room," and i'm like NO ONE and she says again, just tell me and i'm like I'm sorry i dont know what to tell you, and she's getting all annoyed and she's like you're allowed to have a party... and i'm like it wasn't a party, it was people drinking beer and playing cards, aND she keeps calling it ap arty and did the people in the party go in her room caus the bed is ruffled and i'm like the cats probably ruffled the bed, and she goes into the party and if people at the party went in her room just tel her and i finally say, my friends know what its like for me to live here and they would never touch anything in this house without me signing off on it first. and then she sasy, what does that mean and i say, it just means it's actors house and he has very nice pieces that iw ouldn't get ruined... blah blah, so then i went to bed and then she immediatelly started getting ready for bed, b/c she had stayed up to attack me...

i am just waiting to be kicked out or get an email from bruno.

Those fucking cats were on that bed all weekend. and they run around that house and tear it up and knock stuff over, but if there are beer bottles and pizza boxes in the garbage, i'm the one who did all that stuff.


I am at the writers guilde right now just waiting to hear from the actor via email. thankfully i'll be here are day and then to bootcamp and then home real quick to change and watch the house finale with remi and carrie.

it has come to my attention that my parents, or my dad at least thinks that me not getting hired on a show is my fault... why i think this? I got an email from him yesterday with only this link.

http://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/4860.html

it's an article about your professinal image. so i wrote to him saying "why are you sending me a link about a professional image makeover?" to which he replied this:

During her trial the court asked Joan of Arc if she was in the State of Grace. They planned to trick her. If she said that she was not, she would be a self-confessed sinner deserving of punishment. If she said that she was in the State of Grace they were going to condemn her for pride and arrogance. Her answer was " If I am in the State of Grace, I pray that God keeps me there. If I am not in the State of Grace, I pray that God takes me there".

If your professional image is up to speed, may it stay up to speed. If it is not, may it get up to speed. Let me not be the one to judge. Since you recently did a relaunch (I realize this was a personal, not a professinal relaunch) I thought that this may be of interest.

x0x,
Dad

yesterday i barely ate just to be able to eat a ton at my friend carrie's for the finale of american idol. She made turkey meatball subs.... oh yummy, i'm serioulsy still full.

i have to work tonight, but hope to have time to stop by and seen the results show and eat some more turky yumminess, tonight's menu: turkey and bean chili.

yesteday i met over at disney, i guess the guy didn't like me cause my agent said there were some spots still avail on some of their shows, only to find out after the meeting there arent any avail, that's agent code for: he didnt like you so instead of me saying that, i'll just lie and say there was no shot on the shows anyway (shows that he told me earlier in the day were shots.) FUCK THIS INDUSTRY

talked to my nike friend who told me about a few options within her company, woo hoo that would be cool to move up to portland and work for Nike, shit i wear all their stuff anyway! wouldn't neve have to change my wardrobe.

i'm totally obsessed with stephen fry who used to be comedy partners with hugh laurie AKA house who i used to be obsessed with, but now i'm more obsessed with stephen, he's the one who did the bipolar documentary i told you guys about. anyway, he's in this new show over in the UK called kingdom, and i download the eps from somewhere every monday and watch them, and i have loved all of them, all 5 of them, the problem is the shows over there only go for 6 fucking episodes, so the seaosn is over just like that, what rot!

anyway, i'm on youtube daily to find stephen fry stuff, it's a little insane b/c im' totally cyber stalking him.

meanwhile, my old crush hugh laurie (who is still my crush, lets be honest) recieved some award from the queen today, as in the queen of england people, I have to say I have really great taste in men, high quality people I crush on!

busy

I am crazy busy and stressed this week. got a lot of work to do and i have a bunch of meetings for a variety of things. Shout out to stacey who has called me a few times, I'm gonna call you back after thurs. I swear!

No House on tonight, pushed the finale until next week cause of american idol. I'm heading to carrie's tonight for the AI finale, she's make turkey meatball sub sammys, I made stromboli last week!

I hate both finalists, melinda was my person, FUCK AMERICA! for voting her off.

the post it fairy

here are a few of the other post its the actor's girlfriend has left around the house in the past few weeks.

day bed

so i wrote this whole post last night and then my computer shut off, it's been doing that a lot lately, cannot be a good sign, right?

anyway, the actor roomate got this mostrosity day bed the other day. It's currently sitting outside my bathroom and when I asked him where they were going to display said day bed, he said it's going to be where the pool table is now standing. the pool table for those of you who dont know resides in the middle of this random downstairs room that no one goes to excpet me b/c my bathroom is down there. many of you have seen my place so know exactly where I'm talking about.

anyway, see the pic of this "day bed" that apparently "was a big hit" at the party they had at my house last night. oh did I not tell you,they had a party and didn't invite me, and they knew it was my birthday!


DAY BED



so see the picture of the day bed and then i have a picture of the room it's going in and buried under neath all the crap is the pool table in the middle of the room the other pic.

so this morning I was coming down and the actor was coming from downstairs with a blanket, i think he slept on the day bed or something, sometimes he gets up really early and relocates to the couch or now the atrotious day bed...

WHERE IT'S GOING SORRY IT'S TURNED TO THE SIDE.

update

I spoke with one of the agents just now and of the 2 shows I was still in the running for...

1. the head writer for one show has passed on me which sucks taht would've brought me back to NYC. why do i even dream?

2. the other show is probably going to hire these 2 guys she already has in mind. A woman head writer hiring male writers, i'm glad we're looking out for our own in 2007.

great way to start my birthday weekend... surrender hope all ye who enter...

I'm blue

I'm feeling a little blue today. Not sure why. However, I will mark it down on my mood chart. Oh yes, I just started a mood chart. I saw a special on manic depressives and this lady had a very complicated mood chart, so I downloaded one from the internets (as GW bush calls it), yes they really do have everything on the web. I am not manic depressive, but thought tracking my moods will be a good way to pass the time until i die seeing as God CLEARLY doesn't want me to have a family or a job, I figured this will be how I spend my days.

I realized watching this doc, which is so freaking good if you see it, by my gay, english boyfriend Stephen Fry, that all these manic depressives get to be high energy and manic while also being depresed. I on the other hand for those of you who have been reading this thing over the past year, know I only get depressed. I feel cheated. However, i do not envy these people, so dont get me wrong. I'd rather be only depressed than have to do deal with both... that's what I'm saying

anyway, i lost weight at weight watchers this week, 2.5 pounds so that's a good newsy sort of thing. going to the spa on sunday (my birthday) woo hoo and might have sushi tonight.

gross

my roomate is an actor. he's been the lead in a NBC sitcom and was most recently on a cable show...

he's gross. TOnight I walked to my room (by his bathroom) and he was sitting on the can with the door half open... like pants around the ankles reading a magazine on the can.

HELLO CLOSE THE FUCKING DOOR

his fiancee does this also, she'll get in the shower and leave the main bathroom door open. I fucking hate these people.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME

THAT I WILL GET A JOB THIS TV SEASON.

ALL THE SHOWS I MET ON LAST WEEK WEREN'T PICKED UP THIS WEEK!!

BUT I NEED A JOB, I CAN'T SURVIVIE ANOTHER YEAR WITH NO HUMAN CONNECTION AND PLACE TO GO EVERY DAY, I WILL LOSE MY MIND AND MIGHT DO SOMETHING DRASTIC LIKE GOING POSTAL!!

so please right now, even if you're not religious, google St. Jude, the Patron Saint of Impossible things and say his prayer for me!!! I BEG OF THEE! It works, but I need you guys do help me!

also on sat. night i got drunk and tried to convince my friends to make me a burger so I could re-create the Drunken David Hasselhoff video, I wanted to transcribe the video and do the entire thing start to finish! Hilarious.

Now please pray for me!